Chapter 15
"What?"
Song Chaeyeon said to me.
She stepped in front of me, putting herself between the men and me.
She was holding two ice cream cones in each hand.
One of the men was a little shorter than Song Chaeyeon, and the other was about her height.
They seemed a little taken aback, as if their pride had been wounded, but then they spoke again.
"What do you mean, what? Your friend spilled coffee all over my shirt."
"And that gives you the right to shout? What are you doing to this girl?"
Song Chaeyeon spoke in a voice much lower than usual.
The sound was almost like a growl, and my shoulders slowly began to hunch.
"And."
Song Chaeyeon spoke in an even more menacing voice than before.
"At the end there. That thing."
"What were you about to say?"
"......"
The way they'd looked me up and down.
Their sticky, suggestive tone.
The two men fell silent.
Seeing that, Song Chaeyeon shifted her weight onto one leg.
She tilted her head and looked up at them as she spoke.
"You bastards are trash. Absolute fucking trash."
"Eek..."
"What?"
At that, the man in the navy shirt bristled and stepped forward a few paces.
"That's a bit much. That bitch spilled coffee on me, so why am I the one getting cursed at?"
"Hah."
Song Chaeyeon let out a short laugh at his words.
"It's how you acted afterward that's the problem, you sleazy bastards."
"...... You fucking bitch..."
The man in the navy shirt came a few steps closer.
As he approached, he rolled up his sleeve, revealing skin covered in tattoos.
More and more people began to gather and stare.
People in brightly colored clothes surrounded us, hemming us in.
My vision spun.
I was a little scared.
Song Chaeyeon could swear like that?
Since when?
The people around us murmured. The four of us stood at the center of it all.
The man in the brown sweatshirt was still standing behind him.
He was looking at Song Chaeyeon with a somewhat strange expression.
Perhaps he found it odd that his companion had stayed silent instead of taking his side.
The man in the navy shirt turned around to look at him.
"What's wrong?"
"No, I feel like I've seen her somewhere..."
The man in the brown sweatshirt had been staring at Song Chaeyeon like that when
he suddenly flinched so hard it was obvious.
"H-Huh? Hey, f-fuck."
He took a small step backward.
"What's wrong?"
The man in the navy shirt asked, flustered by his reaction.
The man in the brown sweatshirt was sweating as he whispered to him.
"Hey, that's her. That crazy bitch."
"What? Who?"
"...... You know, that one. The psycho bitch. The one who started up her motorcycle and ----- him there, to Myungjun."
"W-What?"
At that, the man in the navy shirt was startled, and his voice rose.
What? Did she do what with a motorcycle?
I didn't hear.
No, surely...? No, that can't be.
I drew my legs together a little.
"That's her?"
He said, looking back and forth between the man in the brown sweatshirt and Song Chaeyeon.
"Yeah. I'm sure as fuck... Blonde, in her mid-to-upper 170s in centimeters, always dressed in streetwear. How many women like that can there be? And she was that bitch back then, too. The one who—"
They whispered to each other for a moment, then
"Wow, she really is fucking crazy..."
They left those words behind, backed away, then quickly walked off.
...That's it?
"Ihyeon, are you okay?"
She glared after them until they disappeared from sight, then turned to me as soon as they were gone.
"Ah, yes... I'm oka—"
As she came closer, my pounding heart slowly began to settle.
But I couldn't get the words out.
I kept my mouth firmly shut and took her hand.
I really had been scared.
My heart was still pounding, my breathing was uneven, and my vision was dark.
"... Oh, Ihyeon."
Seeing me like that, she pulled me into her arms.
"You're okay now."
In her broad embrace,
I wrapped my arms around her and cried quietly.
"... But, uh, Unni..."
"Yeah?"
"What they said about the motorcycle..."
"......"
"...What did you do...? And you're really good at swearing... Do you ride a motorcycle, too...?"
At my sudden question, Song Chaeyeon
"I-It's a secret~"
brushed it off in a bright voice that sounded like it took some effort to produce.
* *
...After something like that happened,
...as humiliating as it was, and as much as I didn't understand my own behavior,
"Ihyeon, we've gotten kind of close, haven't we?"
"......"
I found myself sticking close to Song Chaeyeon.
With my arm wrapped around hers, I licked at my ice cream cone.
I felt at ease when I was with her.
When I was away from her, I felt anxious.
...Maybe now that I could see my own weakness objectively, I was clinging to someone stronger.
I really didn't want to, but my feelings always seemed to act in the exact opposite way from my reason.
This had definitely gotten worse since I became a woman.
As I licked my ice cream cone and stayed glued to her,
was this heaven?
"Hehe, you're so cute, Ihyeon. You remind me of my little sibling."
"Mmm..."
And when Song Chaeyeon petted me, this was paradise.
My eyes slowly grew unfocused.
Being petted made me feel all soft and cozy, and my eyes gradually began to close.
But I couldn't just fall asleep here, so I leaned a little of my weight against her as we walked.
Hmm. Why bother with sex?
Maybe this is what sex feels like.
Let's just put aside the question of whether I like men or women.
It's not like I'm someone who can't live without sex.
"Um, Ihyeon."
A voice came from above me.
"Eh?"
I wanted to say yes, but my pronunciation came out garbled because I was licking my ice cream.
"Um... about your clothes."
"Yes?"
"Should we go change?"
"..."
"It's just... there seem to be a lot of nasty people like those guys around. I know it absolutely isn't your clothes' fault, but... maybe you should wear your hoodie and sweatpants...?"
She spoke as carefully as she could, choosing her words with care.
She wasn't wrong, either.
I didn't know whether what happened had been because of my clothes, but I never wanted to go through something like that again.
...But.
Pouting, I fidgeted with my skirt using the hand that wasn't holding my ice cream cone.
...The dress is pretty.
The shirt is pretty.
"......"
Right. I didn't have a choice.
"Yes... I'll change."
"Ah..."
But Song Chaeyeon stared blankly at my face, then said, "Ah," and spoke up.
"Oh, it's fine! What you wear is up to you, Ihyeon! You look so pretty, and I'll chase anyone who bothers you away, so keep wearing it!"
"...Okay!"
My mood suddenly improved, and I nodded enthusiastically.
* *
After we wandered around and enjoyed all sorts of things, the sky gradually grew dark.
We looked up at it together, then Song Chaeyeon turned to me and asked,
"Ihyeon, would you like to go to a batting cage?"
"A batting cage?"
A batting cage.
A place more familiar to me than anywhere else, like an old friend.
Whenever I was stressed, I'd always go there to have fun.
"I'd love to!"
"Oh, you must be good at it?"
"Hehe."
It was time to show Song Chaeyeon how cool I could be.
Even if my body had changed, my athletic ability hadn't.
I'd adapt in no time and hit the ball cleanly.
* *
Thwack—
"..."
Thwack—
"......"
Thwack—
"........."
But contrary to what I'd expected, the balls kept slamming into the net behind me.
"...... I-I keep..."
"Ihyeon, haha... It looks like it's harder than you thought. I can teach you—"
Clang—
"Eek!"
"Ihyeon!"
I managed to get the bat in front of the ball, but maybe I didn't have enough grip strength, because the ball's speed knocked the bat out of my hands.
My hand was ringing.
...It hurts.
...This is strange.
Something was wrong.
The bat was twice as heavy as before. I could barely even swing it.
Even when I tried to watch the ball, as soon as I saw it flying toward me, I got scared and closed my eyes.
...My pride was hurt.
"...This isn't how it's supposed to go..."
As Song Chaeyeon examined my hand, checking whether I'd injured it,
I felt my masculinity being chipped away.
There was a time when I'd hit all ten out of ten pitches.
Now I was down to one out of ten.
And even that one was barely a hit, more like the ball had happened to touch the bat.
"..."
Song Chaeyeon watched me, dejected, then
walked up in front of me, picked up the bat I'd dropped, and took her stance facing the pitching machine.
"All right, Ihyeon. Use your hips, not your shoulders. You don't have to think about that kind of thing. It's hard for a beginner anyway."
As she spoke, she stared at the pitching machine as if she were going to devour it.
"Just think of it like this: hit the ball with the bat."
Clang!!
The baseball flew in a beautiful straight line and struck the net at the very front.
"Wow..."
...That was amazing.
Clang!
Clang!
Clang!
Song Chaeyeon hit the balls again and again.
...I just stared at her in a daze.
Staring blankly, I pressed a hand to my chest.
...
Why was my heart pounding?
Why was she so cool?
I felt a sudden urge to be held in her arms.
My eyes were fixed on the ball as it flew toward her at incredible speed, and the way she clenched her teeth as she hit it was so cool.
...My heart kept pounding.
"Ihyeon?"
"Y-Yes?"
I was trying to calm my confused thoughts and regain my composure when Song Chaeyeon was suddenly right in front of me.
She smiled as she wiped the sweat from her forehead with a tissue.
"Do you understand what I mean?"
"Ah, ah... yes."
Actually, I hadn't really listened.
...She's so close.
"Want to try hitting again?"
"Yes..."
In the end, I didn't manage to hit a single ball.
That wasn't the issue.
I just froze up in fear whenever the ball came toward me.
It wasn't something I could do anything about...
* *
We left the batting cage and had dinner.
Dinner was at a malatang restaurant.
Song Chaeyeon told me to choose where we would eat,
and I strongly suggested the malatang place.
Unlike at the burger place, I ate quite a lot at the malatang restaurant.
About a third as much as Song Chaeyeon.
"That was fun, wasn't it?"
"Yes. Hehe..."
Still clinging to Song Chaeyeon's arm, I was holding a churro this time.
Song Chaeyeon had noticed me staring at the churro stand and bought me one.
"I guess we should say goodbye now."
Song Chaeyeon looked up at the sky and spoke with a slightly wistful expression.
"I guess so."
I felt sad about it, too.
...I'd had fun.
I'd met her thinking selfishly that I'd push her away if she made me feel bad, but spending time with her had been fun.
I still hated people. I thought people were stupid by nature, wanted to crush them when I saw them happy, and feared how long my own happiness could last whenever I felt happy.
...Even so.
Maybe she was okay.
Maybe I didn't have to push her away just yet.
A warmth I'd forgotten, from another person's touch, had reached me through her arm.
I didn't know how far these feelings would go. But until then,
I should enjoy the present.
"It's okay, we can meet again next week. Sorry, but can you get home by yourself? My second-youngest sibling just got back, so I have to make dinner."
"Ah, yes. That's fine."
"All right, then I'll see you next week! Text me when you get home."
Song Chaeyeon waved and jogged off.
She quickly disappeared into the distance.
"Phew..."
Well, I should get going, too.
* *
On her way home,
Song Chaeyeon smiled as she thought back on the time she'd spent with Moon Ihyeon that day.
'That was fun.'
She didn't begrudge the money she'd spent feeding Ihyeon, walking together had been enjoyable, and when Ihyeon smiled, she found herself smiling, too.
When she'd bought her clothes, she could tell just how happy Ihyeon was, even though she tried to hide it.
As Song Chaeyeon wore something like a proud dad's smile,
several images of Ihyeon suddenly formed in her mind.
Those slender legs, those snow-white legs.
Those small, snow-white, delicate hands.
Body parts so different from her own well-trained physique.
Song Chaeyeon slapped both her cheeks hard with her hands.
"Phew..."
Holding her stinging cheeks, she looked up at the now-darkening sky.
'...Why am I like this?'
Ihyeon was around the same age as her second-youngest sibling.
On top of that, she was Taeyeon's younger sister.
Even if they didn't share a mother, she was still definitely a younger sister.
I have to treat her well.
...Yet she couldn't stop thinking about Ihyeon walking home, that short pleated skirt swaying around her, and the snow-white curves beneath it.
Song Chaeyeon forced herself to shake her head and drive away her stray thoughts.