Kappa House

Two days before my date, I completely lost my ability to concentrate on making magic wands and couldn't get anything done, so I paid a visit to Mamono-kun-san's home. If I didn't do something to distract myself, I felt like I was going to reach the day of my date without sleeping a wink.

Mamono-kun-san's home, Kappa House, was in Wakaba City, formerly Mizuho Town. Since it was next to Ome City, it was also easy to reach from Okutama. Spider Witch-san escorted me there under cover of night, and Mamono-kun-san warmly welcomed me when I arrived late at night.

"Good evening. Sorry for barging in so late."

"Not at all. I was working late anyway. Come in, come in. Let me introduce you to the monsters in my home."

Wearing an apron over his pajamas and with his kappa mask firmly in place, Mamono-kun-san ushered me into Kappa House, a bizarre building whose kappa motif was obvious at a glance.

He said it was fine to leave my shoes on, so I stepped inside in them. Just past the entrance were two perches, where a sparrow and a swallow were sleeping soundly. On another large perch sat a giant bird with two pairs—four in all—of yellow and orange wings.

"Whoa, it's huge! What kind of bird is this? A phoenix?"

"This girl is Sacchan the Thunderbird. She's a monster that mutated from an Earth-native condor, competed with the original species, drove it to extinction, and occupied its niche. Monsters that completely replace an Earth-native species in its ecological role are called 'replacement species' in technical terminology. She's Class C-2."

"Ohhh..."

"Can you identify these two? They're a Pouch Sparrow and a Pouch Swallow."

As I watched the Thunderbird sleeping with her face buried in the feathers on her chest, Mamono-kun-san introduced me to the sparrow and swallow as well.

The round, plump sparrow was the Pouch Sparrow, which I knew. Hiyori had kept one for a while, and it was an old-fashioned magical beast.

But I didn't know the swallow. I only knew that swallows were used for delivering mail.

"I know the Pouch Sparrow, but I don't know the swallow. Is it a recently popularized magical beast?"

"Recently... Well, you could say that. The Pouch Swallow was artificially created through selective breeding based on the Pouch Sparrow. Hokkaido Monster University created it fifteen years ago, or thereabouts. They used estrus magic to crossbreed combinations that couldn't naturally reproduce.

"While retaining the Pouch Sparrow's docility, its flying speed has increased dramatically, so it mainly serves as a magical beast for express deliveries, especially in the postal service. It can defend itself to some extent, and lost packages are rare. However, its pouch has less capacity than a Pouch Sparrow's, so it's not suited to carrying large cargo."

"Wow... Oh, there are tons of certificates here. Do you win all kinds of competitions too, Mamono-kun-san?"

I pointed to the certificates displayed in frames on the entryway wall, and Mamono-kun-san gave an awkward smile.

"You can just call me Mamono-kun. Those aren't awards. They're licenses and permits. From left to right: a Class C animal-keeping permit, a Class B animal-keeping permit, a Class C-4 breeding license, a graduation certificate from Hokkaido Monster University, a qualification certificate for keeping monsters in urban areas... There are various others, but in short, they're all for keeping, breeding, or taming monsters."

"Do you really keep that many?"

"About eighty species, and around three hundred animals, I suppose."

"That's incredible! Can you really maintain enough mana after implanting that many Gremlins?"

Even the weakest monster, the Pouch Sparrow, required 2K for Gremlin implantation. Eighty species meant at least 160K, even by the most conservative estimate. A demon's mana was higher than the average person's, but that was by no means a negligible cost.

"The accepted wisdom is that Gremlin implantation is necessary as a way to become friendly with monsters. However, once you've gotten past their wariness and hostility and become friends with them, you don't need to keep the Gremlins implanted forever."

"You can implant one, let it reduce your mana, become friends with the monster, remove it, restore your mana, and repeat the process. It works out surprisingly well. In fact, I don't have a single Gremlin implanted right now."

"It's rare for someone to repeat the implantation and removal process as often as I do, though."

As he said this, Mamono-kun tilted his beak upward until it pointed sharply toward the sky, looking slightly proud.

I see. He was repeatedly doing the same thing I had done when I became friends with the Fire Lizard Sisters and then removed their Gremlins.

Even Mokutan, who had human-level intelligence and a witch for a parent, had seemed troubled when I removed his Gremlin. Maintaining a friendly relationship with a magical beast that had once been a wild animal, without a Gremlin, couldn't be an ordinary feat.

And Mamono-kun had done that with eighty species and three hundred animals. He was on another level. He was quite a man.

The entryway seemed to be the bird section. Besides the three kinds of birds, there was also a Mole Bird, a Class B-2 bird. Unfortunately, it was sleeping underground, so I didn't get to see it.

The Mole Bird apparently became upset if someone made loud footsteps or shook the ground directly above its nest, so I crept along quietly. The habits of monsters were complex and bizarre. If you didn't follow an expert's instructions to the letter, your life could be in danger.

After admiring a long row of sketches of historically documented Class A-1 monsters, complete with extensive explanations—I smiled when I found the Great Monster and Daidarabotchi—I was led to the greenhouse.

It was dark in the greenhouse since it was nighttime, but a pale-blue will-o'-the-wisp floated there, casting a dim light.

A will-o'-the-wisp... A ghost type?! It had to be at least Class B-3. Physical attacks didn't work on it, and it could pass through physical barriers, so even though it was in the greenhouse, it was effectively free-roaming. Was this really okay?

Perhaps my question showed on my face, because Mamono-kun took some kind of bone from his breast pocket and cheerfully waved it invitingly toward the will-o'-the-wisp.

"It's all right. It's Class B-3 by classification, but its threat level is equivalent to Class C-3. Normally, it's a docile monster that feeds on the mana naturally released by corpses. It's dangerous if someone has suffered a grave injury and is on the verge of death, since it will approach and try to drain their mana and life. But it's completely harmless to healthy people."

"Then... is it really all right?"

"Keeping one within two hundred meters of a hospital is prohibited. I keep it in accordance with all the relevant regulations, so please rest assured."

Mamono-kun handed me a fresh bone and let me try feeding the will-o'-the-wisp. It was wary of me and wouldn't approach, but when Mamono-kun lit a lantern and performed a strange dance, it seemed to relax and let down its guard. It approached, sucked something from the bone, and disappeared into the darkness, looking satisfied.

"It seems to have gotten full. You noticed how it swayed up and down instead of from side to side as it disappeared? That's a sign that it's in a good mood. So cute!"

"Wow! Oh, is it like how the Fire Lizard headbangs when you blow a blowtorch at it? Those little quirks really do make them cute."

"Charmander?"

"Oh, no, never mind. Anyway, what kind of bone is this? A cow's? It looks like a human bone, too."

"It's a human bone."

"It's a human bone?!"

He answered so casually that I screamed and dropped the bone.

Mamono-kun caught it, saying "Whoops," but why was he so calm? It was a human bone! A human bone! Why would he hand me something like that?!

"It's my bone."

"How is that supposed to make it okay?! That's the worst part!"

"No, no, it's not that bad. It's not exactly normal, but...

"There are monsters that like human flesh and human bones, you know. There's nothing to be done about it. It's like how we find yakiniku and ramen delicious. Even if you can live without eating them, you still want to, don't you? So sometimes I carve pieces off my own body to make feed, within the range that healing magic can repair. I haven't caused anyone else the slightest trouble. It's fine, isn't it?"

"So... huh? Then is it really okay...?"

I was starting to get confused.

At first, Mamono-kun had looked like a dangerous person, but after talking to him, he seemed like a sensible, ordinary man.

However, the deeper I dug into the conversation, the more his eccentricity began to seep out. He really was a weirdo!

"I'm sorry for startling you. I assumed you were the sort of person who could handle this kind of thing."

"Oh, you can call me Dairi, too. People say my sensibilities are a little out of step as well, but I'm about average when it comes to splatter horror...? Although I'm not particularly afraid of dying myself. My girlfriend killed me once, and I just thought, 'Well, that sucks.'"

"........"

"Oh. Sorry, let's keep what I just said confidential."

"Sigh. Dairi-san, aren't you often told that you have no sense of danger?"

"How did you know?!"

I was genuinely stunned by the incisive observation.

Mamono-kun apparently had a good eye for people, too. Demons were incredible. He's not a kappa for nothing.

After the greenhouse, Mamono-kun introduced me to various monsters being kept in various environments, including a pond, tanks, flower beds, a darkroom, and a wind tunnel. Most were diurnal and asleep, but there were also nocturnal monsters, and he let me interact with several of them. I had to decline some hands-on experiences because they were a visceral no for me, such as licking a Gremlin to befriend a snail monster, but I learned a great deal.

The archive room was fascinating, too. It looked like a natural history museum filled with rows of monster specimens, and it even contained a poorly made stone statue of the Eye Witch and a reconstructed model of the Great Monster.

Finally, Mamono-kun showed me the large animal room. An entire grand hall had been turned into a cage, and inside, a disgusting monster wandered around with a horse from the waist up and an old man's lower half. It looked like something assembled from a centaur's leftover parts. How lame!

"This is Centaur Amari. Of the Class B-1 monsters I can show you, he is the most dangerous."

"I knew it. It's basically just a centaur made from spare parts."

The bizarre monster, which looked like the upper half of a horse attached to the lower half of a middle-aged man, came stomping toward Mamono-kun, who was carrying a lantern.

It snorted heavily, pressed its face against the iron bars, and began snorting at me while glaring. Its stale, old-man breath washed over me, and I reflexively took a step back. What was this monster?

Mamono-kun gently stroked Centaur Amari's nose as he explained.

"He's excited because he's seen someone he doesn't know. However, Centaur Amari is an intelligent monster. I've trained him not to attack guests, so he won't attack you, Dairi-san."

"S-so you're saying――――"

"Hrrn!!"

Just as I was starting to relax, Centaur Amari bared his fangs.

Despite being a horse, he had the fangs of a carnivore.

Centaur Amari bit through the iron bars, hand and all, then began chewing noisily.

I screamed, but Mamono-kun calmly tickled Centaur Amari's jaw with his severed hand.

This is no time for that! Blood is spraying like a fountain!

"Oh dear, he's gotten terribly excited. It's all right. There's nothing to be scared of. There, there, there, there."

"Healing magic!"

"Oh, there's a healing-magic scroll in the entryway. Could you bring it? Sorry about that."

Following Mamono-kun's instructions as he soothed Centaur Amari, I sprinted to the entryway, yanked a healing-magic scroll from a box marked with a red cross, and hurried back to the large animal room.

The warm light of the healing scroll immediately regrew Mamono-kun's missing hand, restoring it completely.

After thanking me, Mamono-kun gazed at Centaur Amari, who had calmed down and begun doing squats in the corner of the room, with the tender eyes of a father whose child had just been playing with him.

"He knows it's all right to bite me. He's just being affectionate. So cute!"

"Cute?! What's the point of iron bars if he can eat through them?!"

I shouted while pointing at the sharp bite marks left in the iron bars.

What happened to safety? Even a monster that looked that ridiculous was still Class B-1. Iron bars weren't reassuring at all.

It should have been a perfectly reasonable objection, but Mamono-kun didn't seem bothered. He carefully explained while wiping blood that had splattered everywhere with a towel.

"Monsters that attack people are supposed to be put down. Even if the human is one hundred percent at fault. This cage isn't meant to protect people from monsters. It's meant to protect monsters from people. So this is perfectly fine."

"Huh...?"

"Besides, we're the ones at fault for doing something that excited him. If an unfamiliar monster suddenly entered your home, you'd try to drive it away too, wouldn't you? Centaur Amari only did what anyone would have done."

"I-is that so? Maybe it is...?"

I couldn't tell whether he was explaining Centaur Amari's behavior or simply talking me into accepting it anymore.

Still, despite being introduced to so many monsters, I hadn't actually been attacked even once. I couldn't deny that Mamono-kun's words had a certain persuasive power.

The angel in my head was shoving the battered, bruised Iruma into an incinerator while whispering, "He keeps dangerous monsters, but it's fine as long as Mamono-kun is the only one getting hurt."

Well, then, I guess it's safe.

Mamono-kun offered to let me feed Centaur Amari a carrot, but after seeing that splatter, I was too scared to feed him by hand. I settled for watching Mamono-kun feed him from a safe distance.

However, Mamono-kun seemed to rate me highly for being so cowed.

Apparently, ordinary people either fled in a panic or insisted, spraying spit everywhere, that a dangerous monster like this should be put down. Most people didn't stop at merely being intimidated; that sort of reaction was normal.

Well, yes, I think that reaction is more normal too.

But when the Fire Lizards were little, I had experiences like having them set my butt on fire. Maybe the idea that danger was simply part of keeping monsters had taken root deep in my heart.

I did think Centaur Amari was scary, but the thought of how incredible Mamono-kun was came first.

By the time we finished feeding Centaur Amari, the sky had begun to lighten. Spider Witch-san was scheduled to come pick me up around dawn, so I told Mamono-kun that it was time for me to leave.

Mamono-kun was a good guy. He had given me a monster-viewing tour from the middle of the night until morning. I had glimpsed some dangerous sides of him, but there was no doubt that he was a good guy.

I thanked Mamono-kun, who had come to see me off at the entrance.

"Thanks for today. It was a ton of fun. A lot happened... A lot. If you come to my place sometime, I'll show you the workshop."

"Oh, I'm interested. Actually, there was a time when I considered becoming a wandmaker if I couldn't make a living studying monsters."

"So that's why your mask is so well made? The finish is a little rough, but I thought the fundamentals of your processing technique were solid. In that case, come by tomorrow... No, I have a date. Three or four days from now, you can come anytime. I'll make sure you can get through the Mist of Confusion."

We were about to bow to each other and part ways, but as he was leaving, Mamono-kun stopped me with a serious kappa face.

"Could you answer one question for me? Do you think all monsters and humanity can coexist?"

"Wouldn't that be impossible?"

When I answered immediately, Mamono-kun's kappa face fell sadly.

Huh? I felt like I had caused a slight misunderstanding.

I decided it would be better to explain what I meant in detail.

"Well, I'm human, but humans can't even coexist with other humans. Biologically speaking, once territories overlap, it's impossible. It's stressful. If even humans can't reliably coexist with one another, then I don't think monsters and humans can possibly do it.

"But if you keep your distance from other people, you can communicate by letter, make and sell products through intermediaries, and participate in society to some extent. I can meet with you like this without any problem, too, so it's not as if humanity is completely hopeless.

"It's like, if you look at humanity as a whole, we can't all get along, but as individuals, there are people you can be friends with. Maybe it's a matter of scale.

"So humanity and monsters can't coexist, but you and Centaur Amari can. Does that make sense?"

I wasn't sure whether I had explained it well.

When I gauged his expression, Mamono-kun smiled warmly.

"Yes. I understand perfectly. I'm glad you're the sort of person who thinks that way, Dairi-san. Next time you visit, I'll show you the basement, too."

"Oh. Now that's something to look forward to."

We shook hands with smiles and ended my first visit to his home completely satisfied. Good communication.

The last time I had had this much fun visiting someone's home was with Hiyori and Okojo.

Once everything was over, it even felt like a thrilling night.

It was almost too thrilling. I half expected the police or an ambulance to show up.

Well, that's that.

Let's pray to Octameteorite that Mamono-kun doesn't accidentally get arrested over something monster-related. I don't want to be the one saying, "I knew he'd do it someday."