Spider Witch

What makes a true best friend!

A true best friend is someone who goes to help when their friend is in trouble, even if they're told not to!

That's what I've read in all sorts of manga, and it's something I agree with.

This isn't about whether going to help might be pointless, or whether you'd be of any use if you went.

Because they're your best friend, you go to help...!

Unlike the scum who wield a counterfeit notion of friendship—people who call themselves friends and best friends, but when a friend is in trouble, make excuses not to help and pretend they don't know anything.

I still don't really understand the concept of an ordinary friend.

I have my own definition of "what a friend is."

Hiyori said that "friendship can take many forms," too.

To me, being a friend means going to help Hiyori, who went off to the battlefield after telling me to stay quietly in Okutama no matter what.

Apparently Bunkyo Ward is in serious trouble, too. Which means Professor Ohinata is in serious trouble as well.

The Blue Witch is the strongest, so those outrageous attackers calling themselves the Arataki Group will undoubtedly all be massacred, but she's a little clumsy. I'm worried she'll misjudge her force and take Professor Ohinata down with them.

After praying to the Octameteorite enshrined in my workshop, I bribed Fuyou, whose roots were tugging at my feet to stop me from going, with three bags of my precious chemical fertilizer. Then I took my combat magic wand, Henden-sho, slung my tool bag over my shoulder, rounded up the fire lizards, and set out from Okutama.

If going to help turns out to be a wasted trip, so be it.

Even if I can't be of any use, I can always run away home as a last resort.

Even I, the super-duper genius wandmaker, understand the danger of being captured by the enemy, despite all the lectures Hiyori has given me about my lack of a sense of danger. Then again, maybe all those lectures are why I'm aware of it.

Protect myself. Help my friend. Those are the two goals of this expedition.

Well, things will work out somehow. They did during the Mushroom Pandemic.

During the pandemic, I traveled aboveground with my face covered, but Tokyo is currently under an all-out attack by hostile forces. I can't exactly expose myself and walk around on the surface.

So I'm taking the underground route.

I'll use Tokyo's subway network and make my way to Bunkyo Ward under cover, without being spotted by the enemy.

Underground passageways can only exist if they constantly fight off flooding. In particular, underground passages in coastal metropolises like Tokyo and New York flood almost immediately when the drainage systems stop working.

More than five years have passed since the Gremlin Disaster, and five winters have gone by with the electric drainage pumps completely out of commission. The flooded underground passages have repeatedly frozen and thawed—in other words, expanded and contracted—inflicting major damage on their concrete walls. They are collapsing far faster than anything aboveground.

Sneaking alongside the tracks, I entered the vast underground network also known as the Tokyo Dungeon. I held Tsubaki's tail flame in my hand as a lantern and marveled at the quintessentially post-apocalyptic scene.

Lichens that looked like dark stains crawled and spread across walls where paint and tiles had peeled away here and there. Near the entrances, leaves blown in from the surface had piled up in corners, and thin, spindly weeds had taken root.

Looking farther in, the grass disappeared and mushrooms took its place. Animal droppings were scattered here and there. Spiderwebs covered the ticket machines, their screens cracked, and rather old traces of campfires remained around the ticket gates.

The cooler air compared to the surface mingled with the smell of animal droppings and dust, creating an eerie yet thrilling otherworldly atmosphere. I kind of get why people enjoy exploring ruins now.

I proceeded through the underground passageways while checking the route-map signs covered in graffiti.

There were many flooded sections along the way, but I burned through the anti-fall fences with the fire lizards' flames, welded them together, and made a simple raft to cross. The three of them leaned over the raft's edge and gazed down at the murky water with keen interest. They looked thrilled beyond words, and I couldn't help grinning too.

Amazing. Five years after civilization collapsed, I'm finally having a full-fledged adventure through some ruins.

The subway lines were collapsing quickly, and in particularly badly flooded areas, even the pillars had caved in. Still, if I observed the cracks in the walls, tapped the surfaces with the backs of my hands to check how they felt, and listened carefully to the sounds, I could somehow tell which places were genuinely dangerous.

In another three or four years, the Tokyo underground network probably won't be passable anymore. But for now, I can get through as long as I avoid the dangerous spots.

After traveling about two stations, alternating between riding and getting off the raft, the tracks suddenly became neat and tidy. There were obvious signs that human hands had maintained and repaired them. There were no animal droppings, either, and the cracks in the walls had been patched.

I tensed, wondering if someone lived here, but when I saw what emerged in the fire lizards' tail-flame light, I understood.

I see—a charcoal car!

Mimimi?

Ah, sorry, not Mokutan.

I apologized to Mokutan, who looked up at me as if he thought I'd called him, then examined the sturdily built charcoal car sitting on the tracks, pawing at it all over.

Come to think of it, I do remember hearing that charcoal cars were running on the Tokyo Metro Marunouchi Line. Since I was holed up in Okutama, I threw that memory into oblivion, thinking it had nothing to do with me—but it did.

The charcoal car seemed to be used for transport, with heaps of scrap metal and clothing loaded onto the connected freight cars. A sheet of paper was pasted to the carriage window in red letters: "Service suspended until the state of emergency is lifted!"

Hmm...

I looked around. There was no sign of anyone. In response to the state of emergency, the station staff and everyone else must have evacuated long ago.

The charcoal car's door wasn't locked. I entered the driver's compartment and looked around. There wasn't a lock there, either—just two red and black levers labeled "Speed Control" and "Brakes." There was also a speedometer. Simple enough.

I could probably operate this.

I skimmed the operating manual in the dashboard beneath the driver's seat, cut the freight cars loose with my tools, lit the fuel, and got the charcoal car moving.

This was definitely faster than walking. Sorry for taking it without permission, but it's an emergency.

And we're off!

The charcoal car began moving sluggishly, but perhaps thanks to having shed the heavy freight cars, it gradually accelerated and carried us along at an incredible speed.

Mii!

Mik!

Mimimi!

The three fire lizards gathered at the driver's-compartment window and pressed their faces against the glass, wildly excited by the speed of the first vehicle they'd ever ridden. They seem to think this rescue operation is some kind of adventure trip they're taking with me. Adorable.

Having cut the travel time dramatically by riding the charcoal car, I entered Bunkyo Ward and stopped at Korakuen Station.

The station was maintained, but flooded areas where the water hadn't been drained were scattered around, and perhaps because of that, a faint mist hung in the air, making it hard to see.

I stopped the charcoal car and got off with the three of them. Then I folded my arms and thought about what to do next.

Thinking about it calmly, I realized something obvious: I'd come here on pure momentum, hadn't I?

I'd made it all the way to Bunkyo Ward, but what could I actually do here?

I had no idea what the situation was, either.

I had heard that Bunkyo Ward was currently the most dangerous hot zone in Tokyo, but I had absolutely no idea what was happening, where my friend was, what they were doing, or what kind of situation they were in.

Professor Ohinata might even have already evacuated to another ward.

Should I gather information first? I could send the fire lizards out to scout so I could get a handle on things... No, but they can't talk, so even if they found something, they couldn't report it. If someone spotted them, they'd probably think some stray monster had appeared and attack them.

Then should I scout it myself? No thanks.

Bunkyo Ward was crawling with enemies—and even apart from the enemies, it was crawling with people. Couldn't someone compile the information on paper and send it to me in a paper airplane or something? No, that was impossible.

As I pondered, I suddenly sensed something.

I looked around and saw Hiyori's vague figure through the thin mist spreading around us. She waved at me.

"Oh, what a coincidence~! Hey, Hiyori, it's me, me! I was worried about Professor Ohinata, so I came to see if there was anything I could do!"

I waved back and called out, but there was no reply. Hiyori silently beckoned me over.

Ah, well, even though this was underground and hard for people to notice, it was still a battlefield being invaded by the enemy. Shouting would be idiotic.

I approached Hiyori, intending to have a quiet, whispered conversation.

But when I got closer, I realized.

It wasn't Hiyori.

It was a humanoid doll made of an unknown, mineral-like material, nothing whatsoever like Hiyori.

"Huh? ... Whoa!?"

The moment I stopped in confusion, something grabbed me and hoisted me high into the air.

My body spun sideways at tremendous speed in midair, and when I came to, my entire body had been tightly wrapped in white thread.

What, what the heck!? I was suddenly turned into something like bacon-wrapped asparagus.

Wriggling helplessly in my caterpillar state, I saw the three fire lizards dangling in midair, wrapped up just like me. Their jaws had been forced shut, so they couldn't spit fire. The thread restraining us seemed fireproof; even when singed by their tail flames, it showed no sign of burning.

We flailed around together while hanging there.

As the realization that we'd been put out of action in an instant slowly sank into my brain, a cold sweat broke out.

Did I just jump straight into an enemy trap?

Oh crap. I may have really screwed up.

I followed the thread holding us up and looked toward the subway ceiling.

And there, clinging to the ceiling, was an enormous spider.

I-it's huge! Way too huge! It's the size of a car!?

Seven compound eyes reflecting the wavering tail-flame light pierced me with their gaze, and its mouth clicked and clattered. The tips of its legs, thickly covered in fine hairs, prodded me.

Spiders are carnivores. A mutated monster that was once one would naturally be a carnivore too.

I was in deep trouble.

But.

Rather than focusing on the fact that I was three seconds from being eaten alive, I was captivated by how cool the giant spider was.

"So cool. A creature of pure functional beauty...!"

Spiders are already right up my alley, but this enormous size! So freaking cool!

Where do you live? What are your hobbies? Is human flesh your staple food?

I've liked spiders for as long as I can remember. Because they're so dexterous.

Spiders are born able to spin those geometric, radial webs. Without being taught by anyone, they know instinctively how to manipulate silk. They're natural-born artisans!

Amazing. I really have to respect that. They're far too talented as living creatures.

Sure, there are spider species that don't spit silk, but to me, spiders are one of the two great animals worthy of respect, alongside beavers, the masters of dam-building.

As I gazed in admiration at those glittering, jewel-like compound eyes, the giant spider tilted its head with an abrupt, insect-like motion.

"Why aren't you afraid...?"

"!?"

A cute girl's voice, utterly at odds with the terrifying appearance, reached my ears, and for a moment I thought my ears—or my head—had gone crazy.

But I had definitely heard it.

Just now, a cute girl's voice had come from around the mouth of the giant spider in front of me.

What? Why?

"Why are you talking... Ah, wait. Are you the Spider Witch?"

"That's what they call me..."

The Spider Witch clicked her mandibles and nodded.

Whaaaat!? She's not just called the Spider Witch—she's literally just a spider!?

What part of her is supposed to be a witch? There's practically nothing human about her! I love it! This is the best!

As I got excited, the Spider Witch prodded me with the tip of a leg and asked pensively,

"Hey. Are you with the Arataki Group...?"

"Oh, no. If anything, I'm the opposite. My friend is in Bunkyo Ward and in trouble, so I came to help."

"Hmm... Really...?"

"I swear on the Octameteorite."

"What's that? Hmm, hmm... No, but the Arataki Group shouldn't have any know-how for controlling magical beasts... If you're traveling with magical beasts... Yeah. I'm sorry. I startled you, didn't I...? I'll let you down now..."

The Spider Witch apologized sheepishly, unwound the threads, and lowered us to the ground.

The thoroughly frightened fire lizards quickly hid behind me, clinging to my pants and trembling.

Come on, all three of you, calm down. This lady isn't scary. It's okay.

As I brushed the loose threads off my clothes, the Spider Witch bowed her head and apologized again.

"I'm sorry. I caught you because I thought you were with the Arataki Group..."

"Oh, no, it's totally fine. If anything, you gave me a valuable experience."

"Really...? Then that's good, I guess...? Um, anyway. I want to get back to what we were talking about. Why aren't you afraid of me...?"

"Huh? Should I be afraid?"

"No! Please, don't be afraid of me."

The Spider Witch had been speaking in a calm voice, so her sudden shout startled me.

What? Did I just step on some kind of land mine? How am I supposed to know what sets off a witch!?

"S-sorry for raising my voice. Um, you see, I can see fear. I can see the fear in other people, and the more afraid they are, the more delicious they look to me..."

"Yikes~. Is that what you call a change in tastes after mutating?"

Could developing a taste for human flesh be a common thing for witches? The Witch of Hell was like that too.

Still, like the Witch of Hell, the Spider Witch seemed to have strange tastes but a good heart. She was gentle and soft-spoken. And she was a spider. The Dragon Witch should take notes from both of them.

"You're the first person I've ever seen who wasn't afraid when they looked at me... What's going on? Is it some kind of magic? Wait, are you a mage...?"

"I'm not a mage. I'm not using magic, either. As for why I'm not afraid, I can only say that I'm not afraid. I like spiders."

"You like spiders? But I'm this big. I'm a monster...?"

"I've got a figurine of a giant spider from a movie at home. Isn't it a reward when something you like gets huge?"

The Spider Witch tilted her head several times and thought hard, her mandibles creaking.

Since she was a spider, I couldn't read her expression at all, but apparently something was on her mind.

After a brief pause, the Spider Witch slowly extended one of her legs toward me.

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I grabbed it and shook it anyway.

The Spider Witch let out a totally inhuman, mechanical "kiii" and quickly pulled her leg back.

"You're really not afraid. Not even a little. Why? I'm so scary and ugly..."

"What!? Who said that!? Tell me who said it, and I'll knock them flat! Ah, no, I can't knock anyone flat. The Blue Witch will go knock them flat for me!"

When I demonstrated a little shadowboxing, the Spider Witch laughed.

As she laughed, transparent liquid flowed from her seven compound eyes.

Huh? What? Is she crying? Spiders cry? No, why is she crying?

This is getting awkward!

I had no idea what was going on, but I pressed a handkerchief to the Spider Witch's face and wiped away the tears as they trickled down. She cried for quite a long time before finally stopping.

"Um, are you all right now? Sorry about that."

"No, don't apologize... I was just happy. I was so happy to meet someone who wasn't afraid when they saw me. Even the Vampire was just a little afraid when I sucked her blood..."

"Uh, I see. That must be hard?"

She had awakened to the kind of taste and ability where frightening people was practically the whole point of becoming a witch, yet she hated being feared. What a predicament. Living must be exhausting for her.

Ah, no, I get it. Maybe that's why she cried? She hated being feared, but everyone kept fearing her, while I was completely unfazed.

I kind of understood. She had it rough.

"What's your name...?"

"O... No, never mind. I'm 0933."

"0933!? The wandmaker? Aren't you being held captive in the Blue Witch's basement...?"

"What kind of rumor is that!? No, no. The Blue Witch and I are best friends. I'm bad with people, so I have her shut me off from all that stuff."

"You're bad with people? But you don't seem like it at all... Ah. Is it because I'm a spider...?"

"That's exactly it."

When I nodded, the Spider Witch let out another emotionless "kiii."

"I see. Maybe this is the first time I've thought it was a good thing to have ended up like this... Oh, right. You said you came to help a friend, didn't you, 0933? I'll help you. I can't imagine the Blue Witch needs any help, though..."

"Well, um, sorry. I didn't explain myself very well. The person I want to save is human—or is he? It's Professor Kei Ohinata, a stoat who teaches at Tokyo Magic University."

"Oh, him. I've heard the name. Things are bad at the Magic University right now, aren't they...? The ward office fell, too..."

"You seem to know a lot about the situation, Spider Witch-san. I don't know anything at all, so I'd appreciate it if you could fill me in."

"Sure. I don't know everything, either, but I'll tell you what I do know..."

The Spider Witch extended a foreleg toward the fire lizards. They got scared and hid even more thoroughly, and after looking a little sad, she began to speak.

Just before the Arataki Group's attack, the Spider Witch received a request for aid from the Future Seer.

The Spider Witch hated meeting people. She could see fear, and she found it horribly unpleasant when that stimulated her appetite. She hated fighting, too.

So in her assigned territory, Nerima Ward, she normally spread a fog of confusion, hid herself, and basically never left her web.

However, the Future Seer called on her using the name of the vampire mage to whom she owed a great debt, and she couldn't refuse. So she reluctantly left her web this time. But she really didn't want to meet anyone, so like me, she came sneaking to Bunkyo Ward while spreading her fog of confusion through the underground passages.

The Spider Witch was skilled at manipulating thread, and together with her eyeball familiars, she gathered a surprising amount of information from aboveground while staying underground. Her threads were precise and strong. She could also manipulate decoys with them—the one who made me think she was Hiyori—to deceive or lure enemies.

However, the farther she extended her threads, the less precise and weaker they became, so they were almost useless in the battle at the Bunkyo Ward Office. She felt bad about it, but she was simply too frightened to show herself and fight directly. I understood that feeling. If you can avoid meeting people, you'd obviously choose that path every time.

In the battle at the Bunkyo Ward Office, the Tokyo Witches' Gathering killed one of the Arataki Group's witches, but lost the battle. The three witches who surrendered—the Eyeball Witch, the Night Witch, and the Tobacco Witch—were taken to the leaders known as the "Boss" and "Young Boss" at the Magic University.

At the Magic University, the Boss's contract magic was being used to forcibly bind people, and many were being made to obey against their will. Professor Ohinata was in critical condition and unconscious after taking poison, perhaps to refuse subjugation or perhaps to avoid being used as a hostage. The Arataki Group had secured Professor Ohinata, and their whereabouts were unknown.

"Professor Ohinata isn't dead, right...?"

"I don't know. I don't think so, probably. Also, there was no sign they'd been taken outside the university grounds. But the campus is crawling with Arataki Group members. It's difficult to investigate..."

Seriously?

I clutched my head.

If even a witch said it was difficult to investigate, how could I possibly manage it? Even if I snuck in, I'd be spotted and captured immediately.

The fire lizards, my dependable guards, were one thing when it came to driving off monsters, but against witches or mages, they became too frightened to move.

Maybe I really should have listened to Hiyori and stayed quietly in Okutama.

No. There had to be something I could do.

If Professor Ohinata was in the enemy's hands, Hiyori must effectively have been unable to act.

If I could somehow rescue the professor, I could set Hiyori free. Then we'd win.

But how could I rescue the professor?

As I was thinking, the Spider Witch lightly tapped my arm with a foreleg and said,

"I'll help you rescue Professor Ohinata. But I have one favor to ask..."

"Oh, sure. Got it."

"I haven't told you what it is yet...? Actually, I secretly recovered a magic stone from the corpse of the Arataki Group witch the Tobacco Witch killed. To be honest, I don't have much magical power, and I'm not good at controlling it. I'm scared to appear in front of people, too. But if you make this magic stone into a wand, 0933, I think I can use thread and magic from here to investigate the university and get Professor Ohinata back..."

"Oh! Leave it to me! I'm great at making wands!"

I accepted the magic stone, which slid smoothly down from the ceiling on a thread, and struck a triumphant pose.

Things had suddenly gotten a lot simpler.

In other words, all I had to do was make a wand here, as usual.

Then the Spider Witch could take care of everything.

Woohoo, leave the wandmaking to me!