Chapter 90
Hiyori, as expected, mistakenly thought that I had gone pale at the sight of a landmine about to explode after eighty years because I hated the fire lizard I had doted on turning into a human.
"Should I stand between you two? Or would you like me to pass along a message?"
"No, that's not it, that's not it at all... I'm fine. I'll meet her. No, I'm not fine, but... Well, um... Why don't we go see the Spider Witch for now?"
"We don't know where the Spider Witch is right now. Like I said, she supposedly can't face you."
"Then let's go see Fuyou."
Unable to explain myself, I decided to put the problem on hold for the moment and go visit the other fun companions of the Okutama Waku-Waku Zoo.
Damn it, where is that spider lady!? Please use your mediation skills to settle this mess!
I went to the old temple the Spider Witch used as her nest in Okutama, but as Hiyori had said, the Spider Witch was unfortunately nowhere to be found. A fresh, half-eaten hunk of monster meat had been left lying by the hand-washing basin, so apparently she had panicked and vanished because she really couldn't face me.
I wanted to see her, but if the Spider Witch didn't want to, there was nothing I could do.
When I went to her house, it was remarkably fine considering eighty years had passed.
Naturally, every roof tile had been replaced with brand-new ones—crystal rain, rather than thunderstorms, causes tiles to deteriorate at an astonishing rate—but the walls showed only signs of repair, and even the paint had been redone in the same color.
The section Iruma had smashed while ranting about it being a cover-up operation had been restored as well.
The undergrowth in the backyard had been carefully cleared, and although there were no fish in the stock pond, it was filled with clean water. Even the well was still intact. The cracked wooden bucket sat beside it, along with its tattered rope.
The passage of time had certainly left its mark.
But I could tell that everyone had worked hard to protect and maintain the home I would return to, and it made me happy. Everyone had been incredibly conscientious.
If it were me, I wouldn't protect a dead friend's house for eighty years. I'd just leave it alone and let it decay. Then, if they came back to life, I'd ask, "Want to stay at my place until you find a new home?" That would be a lot easier than continuing to maintain an empty house.
When I climbed the slope bordering the backyard, Fuyou was still there, just as before.
Except, as expected, she had become incredibly beautiful. Her massive crimson blossom, brilliantly colored and brimming with vitality, was gorgeous, radiating a strange charm that seemed to contain the grandeur and delicacy of nature packed tightly together.
Even the humanoid figure growing from the center of that huge blossom... at the very least, the vibrancy of her green hair was magnificent.
I couldn't say for certain, since every attractive woman other than Hiyori looked the same to me, but Fuyou was probably on the upper end even among beautiful women.
And towering behind Fuyou, who had grown into a beauty utterly unlike the girl she had been eighty years ago, was a mysterious tree just like the one that had grown in the Flower Witch's sanctuary, covered in incredibly thick, snow-white leaves.
When I appeared, Fuyou in her adult form smoothly extended her vines and roots, pawed at my cheeks, legs, and waist, and smiled brightly.
"Welcome home, Uncle!"
"Oh. I'm home."
"I'm sorry about eighty years ago. If I'd been able to kill Iruma, you wouldn't have died either, Uncle."
"No way you could have. That guy was seriously dangerous."
I immediately shot down that wildly implausible what-if scenario.
That guy was a monster.
He had held his own against Hiyori in a head-on battle where both sides were limited to unchanted magic, and his analytical ability with the Demon King Gremlin was downright terrifying. I'd explain one thing, and he'd understand ten and create a hundred.
Then he'd explain that hundred to me in an incredibly clear way, and when I used his explanation to draw one more piece of information from the Demon King Gremlin, he'd once again understand ten and create a hundred... It was a loop. He was so terrifyingly brilliant, it felt like he had a hundred University of Tokyo students living in his head.
If he had pursued legitimate research, he could have become a great scholar representing the post-Gremlin Disaster world. But that supposition was about as pointless as wondering, "Where would Sage Dairi be now if he'd been an outgoing guy?"
He was a dangerously awful bastard. That was the truth. It wasn't Fuyou's fault that she had been turned into a puppet. It was one hundred percent Iruma's fault.
"Well, Uncle? I've become a real beauty, haven't I?"
As I recalled my forced joint research with Iruma, Fuyou smiled seductively and thrust out her now-full-grown chest, striking a coquettish pose as if to show it off.
For a moment, I wondered what she was talking about. But of course.
Long ago, I had given Fuyou my categorical assurance that she would become more beautiful than the Flower Witch. And it hadn't happened just once or twice. Once every three times we met, Fuyou would try to make me say, "Fuyou is beautiful."
I took another long, careful look at Fuyou from head to toe.
Hmm...
"...Dairi? Don't stare at her so much."
"Huh? If I don't look properly, how am I supposed to know whether she's beautiful? Hmm, her face is about as pretty as the Flower Witch's. But I prefer her coloring, so Fuyou wins."
"Heeheehee♡"
"Be proud. You're the second-most beautiful woman in the world."
The vines Fuyou had been waving around in delight at my heartfelt praise suddenly went still, and her face turned blank.
"............ Hey, Blue Witch. Did you come here just to flaunt her? Did you come looking for a fight? Because I'll take you on."
"S-sorry. I wasn't trying to use you as a pawn, honestly."
"Saying it so happily doesn't make it any more convincing. I'm about to snap."
Fuyou's face was angry, just as her words suggested, but as she kept looking at me, she reluctantly lowered her agitated vines and instead pulled me tightly into her embrace with vines and roots.
"W-what are you doing—ah!? Again! That again!? Stop! Hiyori, help me!"
I hesitated for a moment, then realized what she was about to do and called for help. Hiyori, who had been watching with an indulgent smile, was startled and quickly tore me free from the vines and roots.
She shielded my trembling body with her far-too-reassuring back and glared at Fuyou.
"What was that supposed to mean? What were you trying to do?"
"I'm not telling. Hand Uncle over here, okay? Don't worry, it'll definitely be good for the Blue Witch too."
"Hiyori, I've already been forced to drink two strange liquids. Neither the Flower Witch nor Fuyou will tell me what they gave me. They said something about it being a matter of life and death, and I don't want to drink any more."
"What did you say...? Fuyou, confess right now. What did you do to Dairi? I may not forgive you, depending on your answer."
Hiyori raised Cureanos and assumed a poised, polished battle stance.
That's it, Hiyori, put the pressure on! Make her reveal what the mysterious liquid is!
Fuyou seemed to shrink back under Hiyori's pressure, but after thinking for a moment and glancing at me, she offered Hiyori a deal.
"I'll tell only the Blue Witch. You're going to protect Uncle for the rest of your life, aren't you?"
"Of course. As long as Dairi wants me to."
"Wait a second. Why tell only Hiyori? What about me?"
"I trust that you'd try to keep it secret, Uncle. But if someone put even a little pressure on you, you'd probably start trembling and blurt it all out. So go wait over there for a bit, okay?"
"That's not fair! Tell me too!"
My protests were futile. A vine grabbed my hand and dragged me away until I was out of earshot.
For the next two or three minutes, the two of them whispered together while leaving me out.
The only thing I heard was Hiyori's incredibly delighted voice at one point. I couldn't make out a thing they were saying.
Once I got the OK and the vines led me back, Hiyori asked me in such a state of excitement that she looked ready to float into the sky and fly away.
"Hey, Dairi. You said, 'As long as I want to be together, we'll stay together,' right? No taking that back, okay?"
"Huh? No, I won't."
"Even after eighty years have passed, if you still want to be together, you'll stay with me, right?"
"Huh...? Well, theoretically? I'll be well over a hundred by then, you know? If I'm still alive and my mind is still clear, I suppose it's not impossible."
I had no idea what I would be like eighty years from now. When I answered carefully, Hiyori grabbed my hand, locked my arms behind my back, smiled brightly, and handed me over to Fuyou.
"Fuyou, do it."
"Okayyy, open wide~♡"
"N-no! Stop!"
In the end, I was forced to drink that mysterious golden liquid again. This time, it wasn't just a few drops dripping into my mouth—she made me swallow about a spoonful all at once.
After they forced it down me as usual, they let me go, and I began coughing.
What the hell is this liquid, anyway!? You could at least tell me!
"Cough, hack... Ahem! Hey, Hiyori, what did Fuyou say?"
"Dairi is better off not knowing. If you tell anyone, it'll be dangerous."
"I won't tell! I'll keep it secret. I won't tell anyone, so please tell me."
"It's not that I think you'd accidentally let it slip. But if some outgoing stranger put an arm around your shoulders and pressured you with, 'Come on, tell me,' you'd talk, wouldn't you?"
"I would."
I found myself agreeing. If someone tortured me, I'd definitely confess. The torture might be so brutal that I couldn't even speak, though.
Was it really such a secret that merely knowing it could get me tortured...? The Flower Witch had also made it sound dangerous just to know, and Hiyori was telling me that even after learning the secret, I was better off not knowing. I was curious, but it probably was better not to know.
Judging by how happy Hiyori looked, it didn't seem to be bad news, at least.
It didn't sit right with me, but I decided to accept it. Maybe they'd tell me someday.
"Oh, Uncle. About Tsubaki and Sekitan..."
"Oh, right..."
Having put the mystery liquid aside, I braced myself as the fire-lizard problem I had supposedly shelved in turn came down from the shelf all by itself.
"Huh? You don't need to flinch like that. It's not bad news or anything. You may have already heard from the Blue Witch, but the two of them went looking for territories of their own. Tsubaki said she might go quite far away, but I think Sekitan is still somewhere in Tokyo. He's a laid-back one. And Mokutan should be emerging soon, so give her this to drink. Should the Blue Witch keep it?"
As she spoke, Fuyou handed Hiyori a small stoppered bottle. There was only a tiny amount of that golden liquid inside.
Hiyori accepted it as gently as if it were fragile and tilted her head.
"Is this really all right? It's a precious thing, isn't it?"
"Because you're my friend. This is special."
"A friend... Hmm. Fuyou, one drop is all I need. May I give it to someone I know?"
"Huh? No."
"There's a fire-element witch. She'll surely teach and guide the fire lizards. She's serious and trustworthy, too."
"Mmm... a witch, huh... To help Tsubaki and the others... Hmm. Fine, but don't tell anyone. If you do, assume the entire family will become your enemy. And you'll owe me one, okay?"
"Yes, I understand. That helps a lot."
Hiyori looked relieved as she settled the matter with Fuyou while I was excluded.
You know... The more I listened, the more complicated this situation seemed to be getting. Was it just my imagination?
A lot had happened, but my reunion with Fuyou came to an end. We waved goodbye, and at last I returned to my home.
My home felt as if time had stopped. It had been half a day from my perspective, but eighty years in actual time... Though I would have liked to say time had stood still, the cuckoo clock in the living room had broken down and stopped. The fact that time hadn't stopped was obvious precisely because it had stopped.
I used the tools in my pocket to quickly service the cuckoo clock, wound it, and started it up again. Nothing else was broken.
There wasn't a speck of dust, and the whole place had acquired the patina of age. Some of the floorboards had been replaced, too. The Spider Witch had probably taken care of it. I was grateful.
While distracting myself from reality with gratitude, I entered the workshop and was dragged back to reality.
A huge cocoon loomed in front of the workshop's small furnace.
It looked like a silkworm cocoon enlarged to the size of a person, then turned into gray limestone.
And it had cracks in it...! She was right on the verge of emerging! That's too soon!
"You said it would be soon! Why now!? It's too soon! I haven't had time to prepare myself!"
"The cracks aren't any larger than they were when I saw them this morning. It will probably take another two or three days for her to come out."
The calmer Hiyori was, the more frantic I became.
O-Oh. Good.
If I had two or three days before the bomb went off, everything would be fine.
I still had a chance to find the Spider Witch and ask her to mediate, or go borrow some wisdom from Professor Ohinata, dismantle the bomb looming right in front of me, and guide the situation to a soft landing.
"If we have two or three days, there's no need to rush. Let's eat first. I'm hun――――"
"...Oori? Oori's voice!"
"!?"
After confirming that everyone was safe and looking over the house, I was about to take a breather when I jumped at the girl's voice coming from inside the cocoon.
Th-That voice sounds a little familiar! I can hear the resemblance! That's Mokutan's voice!
"Mokutan? Can you hear me?"
"I knew it was Oori! Oori, Oori! I want to see you! Uuuuuuh... Miii!"
When I called out to her, the cocoon began shaking violently, and crimson flames blew from the cracks.
Then, with one mighty cry, the hard-looking cocoon exploded into countless fragments, and Mokutan emerged energetically, throwing her arms up in triumph.
I prayed.
Please don't resemble either of her parents.
Please let her look like nobody's child, or something—anything that would make it impossible to tell whose child she was.
Unfortunately, the Octameteorite that could grant prayers had been destroyed by an evil wizard.
Mokutan showed us a face exactly like Hiyori's and let out her first cry.
"Huh...?"
Hiyori was speechless and dropped Cureanos.
The shock was so great that she let go of Cureanos, which she had carried with her so carefully all this time.
The developments were happening too fast. Way too fast. My stomach was twisting with pain.
I had just come back to life! Could everyone give me a little time to rest!?
"This is bad... Mokutan, over here. Hiyori might explode."
"Oori!"
"Hot!? Your body temperature is really high!? Sorry, but could you back up a little!?"
Mokutan had run toward me with a delighted smile, but she pulled back her outstretched hand and moved away sadly. S-Sorry.
Mokutan looked like Hiyori shrunk to the height of a middle-schooler and transformed into a member of the Flame-Bearing race. She had long hair made of bright, blazing red flames, and she wore the scattered, burning edges of her flames like clothes. Embedded in her chest was a large blue Gremlin with exactly the same coloring as the personal-color Gremlin made from Hiyori's blood.
She had inherited both parents' features perfectly.
This was hopeless. There was no way to deny it.
"My face...? A fire lizard... turned human...? ...Huh!? Th-that woman! What did she do to me!? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know! Nobody told me this would happen!"
And so, the great detective Blue Witch had realized the truth after all.
C-Calm down, Hiyori! Hold it in, hold it in! There's a child here! Well, I mean, that's exactly why you need to hold it in!
"H-Hiyori. Calm down."
"Flame-Bearing Witch, I trusted you! You did this to me—to me and this child...!? Aaaah! Wh-what is this!?"
"Whoa! Wait, wait, wait, Hiyori! That's important, isn't it!? Don't break it!"
In a frenzy, Hiyori tried to smash the little bottle Fuyou had given her against the floor, so I clung to her arm and stopped her.
Calm down, Hiyori. Settle down. Please, settle down.
"That's right, Hiyori. Think about it calmly. Two women can't have a child together, can they?"
"Yes, they can! It's possible for Transcendents! In America, a slime-type wizard actually had a child with another of its kind... Ah!? That's it, I get it now! Dairi, you knew about this, didn't you!? When this came up before, you changed the subject and tried to cover it up!"
"Oh, crap."
How could she remember something from that long ago so clearly!?
"Hah, hah...! Th-this child, Mokutan... mine!? I-I feel like I'm going insane...! When did this happen? I don't remember doing anything like that!"
She clawed at her head, tossing her hair into disarray as she completely lost control.
But the Blue Witch was a veteran witch. It didn't take her long to regain her composure.
With my back pressed against the workshop wall, I watched the situation with bated breath alongside Mokutan. Hiyori picked up Cureanos, slammed its butt end against the floor, and roared.
"We're going to storm her place, Dairi! I'll smash the seal on that Flame-Bearing Witch!"
R-Run, Flame-Bearing Witch! She's going to pulverize you!
You aren't to blame. You were just horny, and I know you didn't mean any harm.
I only tricked Hiyori into having clueless-scenario yuri fire sex...
............
No, that was plenty bad, wasn't it?
What have you done to my girlfriend, Flame-Bearing Witch!? Get pulverized!
"Oori? What's wrong? Why is the Blue Witch angry?"
"Sorry, Mokutan. Your mom is about to beat the crap out of your other mom."
"???"
This had been a mess from the very beginning. A soft landing had probably never been possible.
Go, Blue Witch! Make the Flame-Bearing Witch get down on her knees and beg forgiveness!