Chapter 38
Night had fallen over the lodging, and people were finishing their preparations for bed one by one.
Enya was among those who hadn't finished eating yet.
Sitting with her knees together in front of the bonfire, she took a bite of flatbread topped with cream and sneaked a sidelong glance at Tarmin.
Tarmin, holding a cup of water, brightened and looked at her.
He'd laid out his bedding separately beside hers and was sitting apart from her.
“Enya. Want some water?”
“No, I don't need any.”
“But if your throat gets dry—”
“I said I don't need any. I've got water right here, you know?”
She firmly pointed to the water bottle at her feet, and Tarmin hunched his shoulders.
Even though he knew that, she'd coldly brushed aside his attempt to make peace.
Tarmin had been trying to talk to her all evening, but she'd kept turning him away, and he looked dejected.
He looked so pitiful, as if he might burst into tears.
His anxious eyes.
“Pfft…”
A snort of laughter escaped her, and she hastily schooled her expression before her face could soften.
If she forgave Tarmin too easily, he might reach for her again before long.
Lately, Tarmin had been going too far with her.
He'd stolen kisses without asking a few times, and now he was lifting her chin even in a dangerous place where someone might see them.
On top of that, he'd restrained her arms and even tried to grope her breasts by force.
She'd followed him a long way just because he asked, and only a few days ago she'd even used her hand to satisfy his desire, but she couldn't be treated like a cup of water he could reach for whenever he pleased.
She planned to torment him as much as possible, make him beg and plead, and then forgive him as if she had no choice.
After finishing her meal, she went out to rinse her mouth and returned to her place. Lise, sitting nearby, spoke to her.
“Is something bothering you, Enya?”
“Um…”
She wanted to snap that the knights were her biggest problem, but Tarmin was right beside her.
She'd made a wager that might give Lise an excuse to act, all to reassure Tarmin.
How shocked would Tarmin be if he found out that an enemy his arrows couldn't affect was sleeping in the same building?
She answered Lise with the most natural smile she could manage.
“…No. I should go to sleep now.”
“Did you two have a fight, by any chance? If something's troubling you, I'm always happy to listen.”
She could sense the unspoken meaning: if she wanted to return to Quaalid—or Lanchain—all she had to do was say so.
Turning her head so Tarmin couldn't see, she frowned.
As she wondered how to snap back at Lise, Tarmin spoke up.
“Why is Mr. Ivar lying so far away?”
“Pardon?”
Lise flinched when Tarmin addressed her.
Since they were in the middle of their wager, Tarmin was probably the person Lise needed to be most careful around.
Ivar had given up his place near the bonfire to Lise and had gone to lie down far away.
Lise looked back and forth between Tarmin and Ivar behind her, flustered.
Her reddish hair, tied up for ease of movement, swayed.
“W-Well, Ivar and I aren't quite that close yet.”
“But you made up earlier today, didn't you? I heard you were married.”
When Tarmin gave her a suspicious look, Lise hastily replied,
“I was just about to lie down with him.”
Lise went over to Ivar and whispered something to him. He sprang upright in surprise.
The two of them exchanged a few words, then moved Ivar's bedding over near the bonfire.
**
Ivar was lying face-to-face with Lise, completely beside himself.
Whether she knew what he was feeling or not, Lise placed a hand on his shoulder and watched Enya and Tarmin over his shoulder.
Noticing Ivar breathing heavily, Lise patted his shoulder and spoke softly.
“Tarmin still seems suspicious. I know it's uncomfortable being this close, but could you bear with it?”
“U-Uncomfortable? I could stay like this for the rest of my life!”
Lise smiled gently at his exaggerated response.
Ivar's heart thumped at the sight of her smile.
“You don't have to do that, Ivar. Just bear with it until they fall asleep.”
“N-No, Lady Lise. I mean, it's not uncomfortable right now. It's actually quite nice…”
“Shh. Keep your voice down.”
Lise shifted her arm this way and that, but couldn't find a comfortable position.
There was no way they looked like a married couple when they were lying stiffly with one hand on the other's shoulder.
“I think he's still suspicious, Ivar. Could you try acting a little more like a married couple?”
“What? Like a married couple? W-What am I supposed to do?”
“I don't know either. We just need to look closer than we do now. Hurry.”
At those words, he finally lost his composure.
“Lady Lise!”
He threw his arms around his superior.
**
Enya giggled at the sight of Lise in Ivar's arms, but when she noticed Tarmin watching her, she cleared her throat and wiped the smile from her face.
It had been a mistake to let him see her laughing.
“Ahem! Ahem!”
“Enya?”
“…What?”
“Are you still mad?”
“Mad about what!”
Enya snapped back angrily.
There was nothing more infuriating than being asked if she was sulking.
It made the reason she was angry sound trivial.
Instead of answering, Tarmin shuffled closer on his knees and reached toward her neck.
“Looks like you've calmed down now.”
Enya almost rested her chin on the approaching palm without thinking, then froze.
Realizing what she was about to do, she screamed inwardly.
‘You idiot! What are you doing!’
She'd obediently offered her chin. At this rate, she was no different from a dog responding to its owner's touch.
Feeling her face grow hot, she smacked Tarmin's hand away.
“Don't touch me.”
“Is this because of what happened earlier?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?”
“Wow, you sound just like a girl right now.”
“Ugh…”
Enya glared at Tarmin once, then silently crawled under the blanket.
She felt his hand grab the edge of it, but yanked it back out of his grasp.
Tarmin hunched his shoulders as if cold and said,
“Enya, can't we share a blanket like we did on the way here? That way we'll stay warm…”
“No. Use your own blanket.”
“But that's all the blankets I brought out.”
Enya fell silent for a moment, then sighed and lifted the edge of the blanket for him.
No matter how irritating he was, she couldn't let him catch a cold.
Tarmin beamed and caught hold of the blanket's edge.
As he crawled inside, their shoulders naturally touched.
“Thanks, Enya.”
“Taal, you didn't bring many blankets on purpose, did you?”
So we could share one and get up to something?
Like we did in the carriage.
Tarmin answered readily.
“Yeah. I brought fewer on purpose.”
“W-Why?”
As she stared at him in surprise, Tarmin continued.
“That way, I'd have less to carry.”
“…”
“Enya, are you cold? Want me to ask if there's an extra blanket?”
“…No. I'm fine.”
While she turned away, embarrassed, Tarmin lay down beside her and whispered in her ear.
“Enya, did you not like it earlier?”
Even though he was being vague, she immediately remembered their kiss beneath the apricot-colored stone wall.
He'd pushed her against the wall, leaving her nowhere to retreat.
His firm grip, allowing her no room to resist.
Their tongues and lips had entwined slowly and intimately, yet forcefully, as though to keep anyone from hearing.
His fingers against her breasts.
A ticklish sensation stirred in her lower belly, and she crossed her legs for no reason.
She'd already gone to the bathroom before coming back.
Thank goodness they were under a blanket.
Enya swallowed and spoke quietly.
“It's not a matter of whether I liked it. I clearly said I didn't want it, so why did you keep going?”
She avoided answering Tarmin's question.
Her feelings had nothing to do with it.
She needed to make sure Tarmin understood he couldn't just do whatever he wanted.
“But, Enya.”
Tarmin had turned onto his side to look at her.
She shot him a glare, anticipating another objection.
“What are you going to say now?”
“You never flat-out said you didn't like it when we kissed before. So I thought what you said today was, well, just you being polite.”
“…H-Huh?”
Now that he mentioned it, that might be true…
“Besides, you didn't seem to dislike it that much.”
“U-Urgh…”
Enya pulled the blanket up to her eyes and bit her lip.
She had nothing to say.
They'd somehow reached the point where she was holding and stroking his cock, but she'd deliberately avoided letting her own wishes enter into it.
She'd only satisfied what Tarmin wanted. She'd never asked him for anything.
She'd maintained a kind of moral high ground by telling herself she couldn't help giving in to his desire.
While she had no excuse and could only breathe in short, shallow gasps, Tarmin nodded.
“So when you say ‘no,’ you really mean no. Got it.”
“N-No, Taal, wait a second.”
A sudden, ominous feeling came over her.
Before she could say anything, Tarmin spoke first.
“Then let me ask you. If you didn't like kissing outside, when would it be okay?”
The embarrassing question made her glance around first.
It didn't seem like anyone could hear their quiet whispers.
The words slipped out of habit.
“Well, Taal, whenever you want to…”
“I mean, I want to kiss you all day long. I'm asking when you'd like to.”
She swallowed at his words about wanting to, then looked at him in surprise at what he said next.
Unable to answer, she slowly realized what he meant.
He was telling Enya that if she wanted it, she should say so.
That if she wanted to, she should say she wanted to.
She should tell him, ‘I want to kiss you.’
Tarmin wore a sly smile.
She stared at him blankly, her mouth hanging open.
“Taal, you really…”
“I'll wait until you tell me.”
*****