Chapter 19
Should I leave it be?
Should I save it?
If I think in black and white, I usually conclude that I should save it. Nothing is more biased than this kind of binary thinking.
Every situation is different from moment to moment.
The deeper I delve, the harder it gets.
Yeah, it's really hard.
Let's shift our perspective a little.
If someone devotes their life to something, but that thing is eating away at their body...
Should I leave them be?
Should I save them?
If they could be satisfied even if they died, and would feel empty if they lived without achieving it...
Should I respect and support them?
Should I persuade them to stop?
“I don’t know….”
What should I do?
Little Squirmy had kept going despite starving for a long time, and had fought many enemies in desperate battles.
Its strength was dwindling.
It didn't have long left to live.
But it was hard to decide.
I had watched from its side all along, so I knew it was giving everything it had to do something.
That's why I thought...
Stopping it...
Was it for Little Squirmy's sake?
Or for mine?
“Little Squirmy.”
Today, too, Little Squirmy kept swimming.
It swam thousands of kilometers west and adapted as it descended into the deep sea. With its body growing weaker, it was heading into increasingly dangerous places.
“Piiiii….”
Lately, there was no strength in its voice.
I'd definitely extended its lifespan plenty, but it felt like it could die at any moment.
Hearing that voice made me want to stop it.
If I stopped it, it might give up its adventure and return to its group. At my request, it had actually stopped hurting itself by bashing its head against rocks. Surely it could start eating again, too.
It was very attached to me.
It would surely listen, but...
“I’ll stay by your side.”
“Pii….”
In the end, I couldn't stop it.
I didn't want to force my wishes on it.
I concluded that if I truly cared about Little Squirmy, the right thing was to trust it and wait until the end.
Should I leave it be?
Should I save it?
It wasn't that kind of binary choice.
If I thought about it a little differently...
Should I trust it?
Should I stop it?
It could be viewed as that kind of binary choice, too.
So, I chose not to stop Little Squirmy and to trust it until the end.
Even if that path might lead to its death.
I don't want to force it.
Swoosh~
We descended into the deep sea together.
Together, we kept falling down from the center of an endless ocean somewhere unknown.
I didn't know how far this journey would go, but Little Squirmy was a child I'd raised myself.
It was only right that I take responsibility to the end.
So I wouldn't leave it alone.
*
How much time had passed?
How far had we traveled?
I couldn't tell.
Unlike me, Little Squirmy had no time acceleration, and used every moment to keep moving.
It no longer headed west.
It simply headed for the bottom of the deep sea.
Had it evolved in the meantime? Even the increasing water pressure couldn't stop it.
Why was it seeking a place like this?
What was it hoping to see here?
I couldn't know, but Little Squirmy's journey seemed more enjoyable than I'd expected.
But the end was approaching.
It would die within a month.
When I looked through Yeoulrim's senses, I could see its life fading.
And on top of that...
“W-what is that?”
It encountered a bizarre life-form at the bottom of the deep sea.
It was a kraken, easily dozens of meters long—a monster so huge that Little Squirmy looked tiny.
I was stunned.
I had no idea.
There was a monster like that in Yeoulrim.
In a way, it was only natural that I hadn't known.
I had an omnipotent sense that let me look anywhere in Yeoulrim, but I wasn't omniscient, so I couldn't check everything. I couldn't know what was happening, where, or when.
“That thing looks dangerous….”
I was scared.
I had a bad feeling.
Whenever Little Squirmy encountered a powerful creature, it always charged in and got hurt.
And that monster was on a completely different level from the ones it had faced so far.
I could feel it through Yeoulrim's senses.
That monster had existed since before the Age of Destruction. Yeoulrim had once been a ruined world, so it must have been a monster from that era.
If Little Squirmy attacked it, it would surely die.
It had to run away, quickly.
“No, Little Squirmy!!”
Whoosh!!
The moment Little Squirmy saw the monster, it charged.
Its utter lack of hesitation was like a moth diving into a flame.
It looked like it was charging in to die.
As expected, it wasn't even a fight.
“Pipyuuut!!….”
Fwaaak!!
Little Squirmy fearlessly attacked the kraken, only to be sent flying far away with a single blow.
It was weakened, after all.
It had gone hungry for over half a year.
It had fought and bled every time.
It was nearly impossible for a creature on the verge of death like that to defeat a monster like this.
That didn't mean I could step in, either.
It would take at least hundreds of points of World Power to blast away a monster like that, and I didn't have that much World Power now.
I could only wonder.
Why was it attacking?
A monster that overwhelming?
Was it really charging in to die?
[Pipyuuuuu!!!-]
KWA-GWAGWAK!!
Though it was battered after one blow, Little Squirmy didn't give up and created a whirlpool to attack.
Then it unleashed a powerful wave cannon, too.
It threw everything it had into the fight, but...
Pwaak!!
Crack!!
The result was just as I'd expected.
The enormous kraken was barely affected. It grabbed Little Squirmy and slammed it down.
The impact shook the depths.
Little Squirmy was briefly knocked unconscious by the heavy impact.
Then the kraken reached out with two tentacles, as if to eat Little Squirmy.
I couldn't watch any longer. I had no choice but to pour all my remaining World Power into pulling Little Squirmy out.
[Pipyuuuuu!!-]
Fwoooosh!!!-
But just as I was about to use my power, Little Squirmy came to its senses and accelerated in an instant.
It was incredibly fast.
Thankfully, it escaped on its own.
The first thing Little Squirmy learned after it began handling mana was how to accelerate in an instant. Even though its body had grown huge, its speed hadn't diminished at all.
“Grrrrrr!!”
Whish!
The enraged kraken reached out to grab Little Squirmy, but Little Squirmy nimbly dodged.
Little Squirmy didn't attack again, either. It used all its strength to escape the monster's territory.
After that.
Ssssss.
A feeble swim.
Having barely escaped, Little Squirmy moved through the deep sea with its battered body. It drifted forward, sinking like a ship going down.
“Little Squirmy….”
My hands clenched into fists on their own.
I wanted to help, but I didn't know how, and I didn't have the strength to help.
What a powerless god I was.
What a pathetic joke.
I could feel it.
Little Squirmy's life was rapidly fading.
Even at a moment like this, it was quietly moving toward somewhere.
Deeper into the deep sea.
“I’m coming with you.”
“Pii….”
I had enough World Power to manifest an avatar.
I stayed by its side.
One hour.
Two hours.
As we kept going...
Plop.
Had it finally found a place?
At some point, Little Squirmy stopped swimming and gently laid itself down on the seabed. I didn't want to believe it, but... it was going to die here.
Its breathing was growing slower and slower.
All I could do was...
“We had fun, didn’t we?”
“Pip….”
Stay by its side.
I looked into its eyes and gently rubbed its belly, then hugged it tight, afraid I might start crying.
Then its broad arms covered my back like a blanket.
I had no intention of demanding an explanation.
I didn't want to scold it.
Its eyes were still clear.
There was no need to burden someone without regrets with my own regrets.
So...
“It was a wonderful journey, Little Squirmy.”
I raised my head a little and smiled at it.
I stroked its broad belly.
“Pii~”
It smiled back at me, too.
It had little strength, but it looked happy.
And so time passed as we held each other.
[Connection to the subordinate individual has been lost.]
How much time had passed?
Little Squirmy stopped breathing.
I'd held onto a faint hope, but the cold system message confirmed Little Squirmy's death.
This dead silence frightened me terribly.
It felt like I was sinking into the silence with it.
“……….”
I stayed by its side for a while.
For some reason, I thought it might get up again at any moment and smile at me with a Pii.
I stayed still for a few hours or so.
Little Squirmy… still didn't move.
[Consuming World Power to transmit a voice.]
[I love you, Little Squirmy.]
Why did I do that?
I wasted what little World Power I had left to make a voice heard by no one.
I should have realized sooner.
If only I'd known this would happen...
I should've played with it more.
I should've loved it more.
Swish.
Much later, I slowly looked around.
A mana stone field. Large, beautiful pink rocks were strewn all around without end. Unlike the shallow sea, the mana stones here were vivid and enormous.
Their soft glow was beautiful.
It was a place that suited Little Squirmy.
May you sleep peacefully in this beautiful place.
“Goodbye.”
Once I left this place, I would never see it again.
As its subordinate, I could always know its location and find it, but now that our connection was lost, that was impossible.
Even so, I couldn't stay here forever.
I had precious things Little Squirmy left behind.
For its sake, too...
“Goodbye.”
Fwoosh!
I left the place.
I briefly left Yeoulrim and returned to reality.
I needed some time to sort out my thoughts.
*
…
…
…
The dark deep sea.
Pink mana stones glowing faintly.
And in their midst, a corpse lying peacefully.
The creature, which resembled an orca, was smiling. As if having a happy dream.
It was born alone and evolved.
It multiplied countless descendants and led them.
It met its creator, and its neural network broke as it tried to understand that inexplicable love. Once it understood, it learned to understand petting and smiles.
Evolving and evolving again.
Caring for its growing children.
Each and every one of its actions became a habit and custom of its species, exerting a great influence.
However.
An inexplicable emptiness somewhere inside.
An unknown longing and helplessness.
Rather than changing little by little as it had until then, it yearned for a change that would shatter its frustration.
By then, the individual knew.
The result of long learning.
The body changed the most when it was damaged and regenerated. The more it faced a crisis, the more it sought what it needed, and the more fervently it wished for it, the more it changed.
But even that was woefully insufficient.
It had to break through its limits.
To soothe that frustration, it left its group and began a long journey.
Thankfully, the road wasn't lonely.
It had been showered with love.
It experienced a vast world.
It found a warm friend.
It gradually came to understand the world and gained a powerful motivation it didn't even understand itself.
The long starvation and desperate battles had left it broken and in terrible pain, but it was the most enjoyable journey of its life.
And so it arrived at peaceful rest.
Death.
…
…
…
Ssssss~
It was a new beginning.
A faint light seeped from its body, and the pink mana stones around it softly brightened.
Powerful motivation.
A vast world.
A warm friend.
Peaceful rest.
It had felt and understood many things.
It had pondered the laws of the world.
Through pain and endurance, it had seen the world differently and searched for lingering attachments to life.
It had reached the end of that journey, but...
Ssssss-
It still yearned for a new journey.
Its twisted, damaged organs and body burned away, regenerated, and changed.
Its thick skin became a shell like an egg, while inside it, damage and regeneration continued without end.
In the process, a faint light seeped out and resonated with the mana stones around it.
[I love you, Little Squirmy.]
A name it only understood after being born and dying.
The tender, warm voice it heard softly replayed in its mind again and again.
A journey.
It was a milestone for a new journey.
Even without consciousness, the individual yearned to hear the whisper once more.
It yearned to evolve.
Crack.
This was a myth.
A new birth.
The work of remaking itself anew.
Crrk, crrk.
A life forged from overwhelming love struggled to shed its skin on its own.
When life nears death, it yearns for evolution with all its might and fights for it. It had endured that process for ages, sustained by love.
Craaack.
It wasn't difficult.
It would break its body and regenerate until it was satisfied. The process might be far longer than any journey so far, but it overflowed with hope rather than pain.
For a new journey.
Crack.
The individual evolves.
No matter how long it took, it would evolve so they could meet again.