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The Four Penguins of the Apocalypse

 

Magic.

 

Magic?

 

Wow, magic.

 

“What is magic?”

 

Is that too basic a question?

 

『It’s a broad field, but what you’ll encounter is practical combat magic.』

 

Oh, what a grim name.

 

『It doesn’t take much power to kill a person. One fatal wound is enough to end a life.』

 

“That’s true.”

 

『Quick casting, precise accuracy, and guaranteed lethality.』

 

The demon in a suit moved his hand as if wielding a staff.

 

Whoosh, thwack!

 

『A magic bullet fired with an elegant motion travels at a speed similar to a gunshot. Anything beyond that is unnecessary.』

 

Huh.

 

Gun?

 

Eh?

 

Did I hear that wrong?

 

“W-wait a minute. So should I think of a magician as a shooter carrying a gun that doesn’t need reloading?”

 

Surely not, right?

 

『That’s roughly correct. It’s more useful than a gun since it can fire continuously.』

 

So right now I…

 

Have to fight someone with an automatic rifle?

 

In an open space, fair and square?

 

Really?

 

Pastel’s eyes rolled.

 

“I-I actually liked magic.”

 

She waved her arms.

 

“Fantastic and great!”

 

She struck a gun-shooting pose.

 

Doo doo doo.

 

Pak pak pak.

 

Kwak kwak kwak.

 

The demon looked down at her with pity.

 

『You have no talent for magic. You didn’t even notice the magic inscribed on your back as you walked around.』

 

“N-no way?”

 

Has my ‘life is totally easy’ lifestyle ended before it even began?

 

What about my leisurely isekai life starting with an automatic rifle?

 

There was a knock on the cabin door.

 

Uwah.

 

“Looks like it’s time.”

 

The demon transformed into a sword.

 

『Let’s go.』

 

Uwah, so decisive.

 

Pastel left the cabin and arrived at the dueling ground.

 

Stairs surrounded the dueling area. Noble children who had come out for a stroll gathered and sat down.

 

Pastel clutched her head, then suddenly raised her hand.

 

“Friends, attention! Attention!”

 

She clapped her hands to focus everyone’s attention. Bewildered gazes converged on her.

 

“Those who think Pastel will win, raise your hands!”

 

Pastel looked around with shining eyes.

 

A few people hesitated, then slowly raised their hands.

 

Oh, oh.

 

“Those who think Melissa will win, raise your hands!”

 

Hands shot up en masse.

 

Uwah.

 

Something’s wrong here.

 

Melissa Camelot.

 

The rising star of magic and future archmage.

 

The public affectionately calls her:

 

“The Sixteen Flashes”

 

Oh, the nickname sounds harmless?

 

Suddenly feels more doable?

 

『It means she fires 16 shots in one casting.』

 

What kind of vicious nickname is that?

 

Isn’t it too direct?

 

It’s totally like:

 

“I’ve Got a 16-Round Magazine”

 

Where’s the consideration for the person getting hit?

 

The sound of footsteps approached.

 

Melissa walked to the dueling ground. Her magician’s robe swayed.

 

Oh.

 

The professor stood in the center, looking disinterested.

 

『Magicians aren’t difficult. You just need to read the spell, predict the trajectory, and deflect it.』

 

Pastel calmed her mind. She gathered her focus, which had inevitably scattered since this wasn’t a life-or-death situation like at the mansion.

 

Is it possible?

 

I don’t know how to predict spell trajectories.

 

The professor held up a coin.

 

As if reading her expression, the demon spoke.

 

『I’ll tell you the trajectories.』

 

The coin was flipped.

 

『Try deflecting the light.』

 

The sound of the coin hitting the ground rang out.

 

Pastel kicked off the ground.

 

The magician swung her staff without hesitation. An elegant curve left a trace in the air.

 

It curved, twisted, and swirled.

 

In less than a second.

 

The staff roughly pointed at Pastel.

 

Golden hair fluttered. The robe billowed.

 

The whisper of magic vibrated through the air.

 

『Left arm.』

 

The meaning came without a voice.

 

Pastel swung her sword before anything had even flown towards her. The sword strike cut through the air.

 

Light flashed in the atmosphere.

 

A light bullet rushed like lightning, grazing past the sword strike.

 

In that split second, the girl forcibly twisted her posture. The sword’s path was finely adjusted. The grazing light bullet was cut, and light exploded.

 

『Right leg.』

 

She swung the sword. No, intuition twisted the sword’s path. The light bullet flew and was drawn to the sword’s path, getting sliced. Light burst.

 

『That’s it. Left shoulder.』

 

Instinct and sensation.

 

Intuition and conviction.

 

The golden tower of the absolute domain built by talent.

 

An precise sword strike cut the light bullet. Remnants of light rippled. Pink hair was dyed by the light.

 

Sixteen barrages.

 

Sixteen flashes.

 

Waves of light embroidered the pink girl.

 

Footsteps crossed the dueling ground.

 

The blade flashed.

 

Blue eyes widened.

 

The sword tapped the nape of her neck.

 

Melissa’s lips trembled.

 

“How… how did you deflect the sixteen curves?”

 

Pastel exhaled roughly.

 

Then, after thinking for a moment, the corners of her mouth relaxed.

 

“Talent.”

 

Hehe.

 

『Oh boy.』

 

Melissa hung her head.

 

“I’ve lost…”

 

I won, I won.

 

She waved both hands at the few people who had supported her from the start.

 

“Thanks to you guys!”

 

Cheers followed. There were more people than before.

 

Oh, did I make more friends?

 

As she waved, she turned back to Melissa.

 

She extended her hand to the conflicted girl.

 

“You did well too. It’s just that I was your opponent. Right, friend?”

 

Melissa flinched at the last word.

 

As if avoiding Pastel’s pink appearance, she looked down at her shadow, then turned away.

 

“I’m not sure about that.”

 

The girl left without stepping on her shadow.

 

Eh?

 

Was I rejected?

 

 

They arrived at Sky Island, the transit point between the human and demon realms.

 

Sky Island was enormous. A vast expanse of land floated as if a whole region was bound together under the name of an island. Clouds wrapped around the land like they embraced the heavens.

 

“Sky Island, wow.”

 

The whale-like airship rose and fell repeatedly as if swimming. It carried goods and raked in profits from price differences.

 

“Airship, wow.”

 

White tiles neatly covered the roads. White-roofed buildings lined up on both sides. Carriages loaded with goods endlessly left the docking area.

 

“Planned city, wow.”

 

Restaurants for merchants and sailors surrounded the docking area. Food stalls filled the streets. Delicious smells blanketed the area.

 

A chicken skewer stall.

 

Pastel swallowed the saliva that threatened to drool.

 

One?

 

Just one?

 

“H-how many magic stones do we have left?”

 

The demon took out a pepper shaker from the luggage. When shaken, magic stone powder rattled inside.

 

We’ve already used up all the magic stones from the basement that sealed the great demon, and it’s already running out.

 

Gold is melting in my stomach.

 

Pastel’s hand trembled as she reached out, then meekly withdrew.

 

“I’ll eat sparingly…”

 

She walked unsteadily towards her assigned temporary residence.

 

“Sigh, when will the combat practical exam be held? The demon realm examinees should arrive soon.”

 

『If there was a problem with the airship, it might take time to get a new one.』

 

Ah.

 

Hmm.

 

“Then let’s live like we’re already enrolled students.”

 

Surely I won’t fail?

 

She repeatedly rummaged through and examined various parts of the academy. At the end of her exploration, she arrived at a shabby place.

 

Pastel carefully examined the student council corridor.

 

“What’s with this atmosphere?”

 

Why is the darling of student power so desolate?

 

She ran her finger along the windowsill.

 

Dust said “Hello!”

 

“Hello to you too. So you’re the real royal real estate resident? I’m a new tenant. There’s no hazing, right?”

 

The student council door opened slowly.

 

Huh?

 

An older male student in pajamas looked around the corridor with sleepy eyes. Then his eyes met Pastel’s.

 

“Don’t make noise in the corridor.”

 

It was a weak voice.

 

Oh.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Bow.

 

The older student turned back to the student council room. Small footsteps followed. The door closed.

 

Oh, the student council room.

 

It’s completely covered in dust.

 

And there’s only one person.

 

Pastel, who had followed him in, looked around.

 

The older student stopped on his way to a sofa with a pillow. Bewildered eyes turned to look at Pastel.

 

Bow.

 

“Hello, senior. I’m a prospective new student. How do I join the student council?”

 

If you’re a student, the student council is the place to be, right?

 

But why are there no people?

 

The older student’s expression became one of total apathy. Ignoring her, he went to lie on the sofa, covered himself with a blanket, and mumbled.

 

“You’re the top scorer in the written exam, right?”

 

“Oh, yes.”

 

“Even without regulations, you’ll probably pass. There’s a stamp in the drawer, so just join yourself.”

 

Soon after, the older student became quiet as if falling asleep.

 

Huh?

 

Pastel approached the sofa with small steps. His breathing became shallow.

 

Looking around carefully, she saw magic research papers scattered around, unrelated to the student council.

 

Oh.

 

She rummaged through the drawer and found the approval stamp.

 

The heavy weight of power.

 

It’s really here?

 

She found the membership form and stamped it with a thunk. The red seal completed the document.

 

It really stamps?

 

She took out a blank paper and stamped it.

 

Thunk.

 

Student Council President’s Seal.

 

Huh? Huh?

 

Current total members of the student council.

 

Student Council President, Pastel.

 

Total 2 members.

 

Oh?

 

With a blank expression, Pastel moved the quill pen as if possessed. She created a new document and stamped it with a thunk.

 

She held up the completed document.

 

Pastel Love Craft.

 

Position.

 

Vice President cum General Affairs Head cum Planning Head cum Public Relations Head cum Volunteer Service Head cum Student Guidance Head.

 

Ohing?

 

The document sparkled.

 

Super item.

 

“Ugh, I can’t sleep here anymore.”

 

The student council president got up. He patted his waist, then staggered over to pick up a staff that had been rolling on the floor.

 

He waved the staff. Wind blew. The papers were organized and floated in the air.

 

A key fell on Pastel’s head.

 

Ouch.

 

The unprecedented document fluttered.

 

The student council president glanced down.

 

“Oh, you stamp well. You’re capable, freshman. I’m too busy to come in. There’ll be documents to process, just stamp them like this and pass them on. Lock the door when you leave. Don’t call me unless it’s really necessary.”

 

The student council president left abruptly.

 

The new student was left holding the approval stamp.

 

The wind blew.

 

Gasp.

 

Pastel’s hands holding the approval stamp trembled.

 

Tremble tremble.

 

P-power.

 

Did student council power suddenly fall into my hands? Is it okay to do this to a new student?

 

Uwah.

 

Pastel was overwhelmed by the weight of the dazzling approval stamp.

 

Someone take this away.

 

Power that I can use as I please, it’s too much for a new student. Do you know how enormous this authority is?

 

Suddenly, her empty stomach that couldn’t eat chicken skewers growled.

 

Grumble.

 

Her stomach cried out for energy.

 

For gold in the form of magic stones.

 

Pause.

 

Power that I can use as I please?

 

Oh, oh?

 

『Power is money.』

 

The demon, who had appeared out of nowhere, took the approval stamp from the girl’s hand.

 

『If you look into the student council’s authority, you’ll find many ways to make money. If you secretly abuse and misuse it, you could make a lot of money. Enough money to fill your stomach with magic stones.』

 

The demon looked at the stamp with complex eyes, then down at Pastel.

 

『Young Craft.』

 

Red eyes stared directly.

 

『Here’s an easy path.』

 

The approval stamp shook.

 

『An immoral path to fill your stomach with gold.』

 

Wow wow wow.

 

Invitation to corruption!

 

Devilish advice…!

 

Pastel clutched her head and paced around the student council room.

 

You’re saying I could have money to sprinkle magic stone powder on chicken skewers to my heart’s content?

 

Wow wow.

 

Chicken skewers.

 

Her salivary glands tingled. Her body urged her to fill her stomach immediately.

 

Her hands flailed on their own.

 

To dirty my hands or not, that is the question.

 

Pastel thought this as her hands automatically opened a pouch and chewed on the candies inside.

 

She quickly chewed and swallowed three or four.

 

Sweetness spread.

 

As she was eating well, she suddenly paused.

 

Oh?

 

She looked at the pouch she was holding.

 

Black magic stones.

 

She carefully examined the pouch.

 

For Magic Department academic research.

 

Gasp.

 

When did what was on the desk end up in my mouth?

 

Embezzlement of public funds and corruption.

 

Her hands had committed the act on their own.

 

Is it my calling?

 

Am I perhaps a genius of immorality?

 

『Sigh, what kind of test am I giving to a starving child.』

 

The demon approached with a deflated expression. He casually handed her the approval stamp.

 

『You should fill your stomach first. Just finish eating.』

 

“Oh, really?”

 

Munch munch.

 

This sweetness like rain in a drought.

 

A little while later, she finished eating the magic stones.

 

Meanwhile, the demon had organized some documents.

 

『Among the student council’s authorities, you can abuse these.』

 

Student council’s discretionary budget.

 

Authority to use academy airships.

 

Authority to enter and exit the demon realm for official purposes.

 

Oh?

 

『If you combine these authorities, you can engage in smuggling.』

 

S-smuggling?

 

What an incredible word.

 

『Embezzle the budget to purchase Sky Island trade goods. Then hide them in the student council airship and enter the demon realm for official purposes. There, sell the trade goods and purchase unprocessed magic stones to bring back.』

 

Wow wow.

 

『In this process, you don’t have to pay the massive taxes that would normally accompany trade. Because it’s smuggling.』

 

The demon pointed at a document.

 

『There’s even an official reason to use as a pretext for entry. Due to the problem with the demon realm airship, one examinee was left behind in the demon realm. They’ve requested emergency transport from the student council.』

 

She swallowed.

 

“H-how much can you earn from one smuggling run?”

 

『Hmm, it’s not exact, but it should be about this much now.』

 

Two fingers were held up.

 

Double.

 

Gasp!

 

“In one go?”

 

『Since it’s smuggling, the student council budget will double. You can refill the original budget and keep the remaining half for yourself. That should give you enough leeway to find less immoral ways to make money.』

 

If it doubles once, does that mean it quadruples if we go twice?

 

Wow wow.

 

“I see!”

 

Pastel’s eyes shone.

 

“Let’s try it! Who cares, money eats money!”

 

You’re saying capital doubles by going back and forth between the demon realm and Sky Island?

 

Wow.

 

Even swimming on land would be harder than this.

 

Catching crayfish, digging ditches, and munching on magic stones, oh how lovely.

 

Once she crossed the line, thoughts flowed like water.

 

Is this perhaps my calling?

 

The demon looked bewildered.

 

『No, we’re only doing this once.』

 

It was an assertive voice.

 

『Just once.』

 

Pastel also asserted.

 

“Yes!”

 

Of course!

 

Pastel nodded like a child who had been given permission to play games during exam period.

 

 

The day of the smuggling operation.

 

One, two, three!

 

Pastel spread her arms wide.

 

Ta-da.

 

The airship at the docking area spread out before her eyes.

 

A tiny whale.

 

“My airship!”

 

Wow.

 

『…It belongs to the school.』

 

She flung open the cargo hold.

 

It was packed full of various spices and high-quality fabrics.

 

“My trade goods!”

 

Wow.

 

I’m already feeling full.

 

『…It’s the school’s budget.』

 

Our airship took off. It rode the sky road to the demon realm.

 

Whoosh whoosh.

 

She leaned on the railing, her pink hair fluttering.

 

“Survival trade!”

 

『No, sigh. That’s true, but…』

 

The demon approached with an incredibly complex expression and held up his index finger.

 

『Just this one time.』

 

The finger moved for emphasis.

 

『Once.』

 

“Yes!”

 

Pastel nodded.

 

“But what’s good about smuggling?”

 

『…You can avoid the 50% tax rate.』

 

Gasp.

 

If we secretly load trade goods and go to the demon realm for a legitimate reason, it’s way better than regular trade?

 

“Hurry! Let’s hurry to the demon realm and bring back our poor examinee friend to the academy!”

 

She urged on the demon with his complicated expression.

 

The vast blue sky stretched out before them.

 

The future ahead must be bright, right?

 

A while later, Pastel’s eyes widened as she saw that bright future.

 

A skull and crossbones flag fluttered.

 

“P-pirates…!”

 

Uwah.

 

『Pirates, huh. I’ll teach you about group combat.』

3 Comments

  1. Nekomimik
    Oct 20, '24 at 12:59 pm

    Hahaha….. Demmy, Demmy, Demmy. Your hardships will continue as time goes on. And man, Pastel is really a Craft lmao. Its in the blood!

    Thanks for the quality translation!

  2. grunhilde
    Oct 20, '24 at 1:10 pm

    man this is so funny

  3. stryke106
    Oct 27, '24 at 9:40 pm

    Corruption! Wow wow!
    Embezzlement! Wow wow!
    Smuggling! Wow wow!
    Pirates! Uwah!

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