How to Befriend a Witch (2)

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Where should I start explaining? History is probably a little boring….

On the fourteenth floor of Seoul City Hall.

Once we reached the floor that definitely hadn’t existed in the elevator, an unexpectedly ordinary hallway began to come into view, contrary to my imagining some mysterious spectacle.

Thanks to the gently curving passageways here and there, all set against a white backdrop, it was a hallway whose soothing effect on the eyes I liked very much.

But as I looked at the signs along the hallway reading things like Such-and-Such Division and Such-and-Such Department, the whole thing was quite a sight.

Though most of the civil servants walking around seemed to be ordinary humans, every sign beside every office, here and there, prominently featured the word witch.

Apparently, the fourteenth floor of Seoul City Hall was made up entirely of departments for witches.

As I was taking in the spectacle, something lightly poked at the side of my forearm.

"You seem to be enjoying the sightseeing?"

"…Ah, sorry. I got distracted while you were talking…."

"It happens."

Eve Lycaon.

The team leader whose name was written that way on the name tag slowed her steps and gave me a faint smile.

If not for the suspicious incident in the elevator, that smile would probably have given me the first impression of a ‘friendly team leader.’

But perhaps because I knew the probability of her being a witch approached one hundred percent.

Whenever my eyes met hers like this, I only felt an inexplicable sense of unease.

You know how, every now and then, there are people who know all too well that they’re beautiful and are also skilled at using it to their advantage?

Maybe I’m twisted, but that was sort of the feeling I had now.

"Well, since we’re here, shall we start by properly introducing ourselves?"

"I’m Nam Dowon. I look forward to working with you."

"I’m Eve. Eve Lycaon. Though I’m sure you already knew that, Mr. Dowon."

"Pardon?"

"My name tag, right in front of my chest. Didn’t you sneak glances at it in the elevator?"

"……Ah, the name tag. Yes. I took a quick look because I saw it there."

"For all that, you stared right at my breasts."

"……."

…And seeing how she was already asking such an awkward question,

I got the feeling that teasing other people—especially subordinates—might be her thing.

"They’re not particularly large, but they’re not small either, so men look at them often. Especially virile men like you, Mr. Dowon."

"…I’m sorry."

"What? Oh, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Personally, I like people who aren’t very good at hiding their desires. What you just did is actually a plus in my book."

"……."

"Hmm, I wasn’t joking. I meant it sincerely."

"…I’ll be sure to remember that."

"Good."

It had been less than ten minutes since meeting her, so it was still too soon to believe she meant it.

Besides, a man repeatedly sneaking glances at a woman’s breasts could even be deemed a crime depending on the circumstances.

No matter how she said that was a plus, there was no way I could take it at face value.

But since I couldn’t say that honestly, I hid my discomfort and played along with my superior for a moment.

After lightly clearing her throat, she finally brought up what she’d started to say earlier.

"When you first heard the words ‘Apprentice Witch Rehabilitation Support Department,’ Mr. Dowon, what did you think this place did?"

I still remembered that vividly.

Was this a department where they asked a civil servant to scold an apprentice witch who had hit puberty for them? That was exactly what I had thought.

But it wasn’t easy to voice such blatant criticism in front of a real witch, so I was just about to give the boring answer that I had thought they supported the rehabilitation of apprentice witches…

"Did you think it was a department that helped an apprentice witch out with a ‘heave-ho, heave-ho’ whenever they got upset and holed up in their room, so they could be dragged outside?"

"……Yes."

Because she asked as though she had read my mind,

I had no choice but to honestly say yes instead of needlessly overthinking it.

There was nothing strange about magic that could read minds existing, either.

Besides, what Team Leader had just said about liking people who couldn’t hide their desires could, in a way, tie into telling me not to overthink and just speak honestly.

Better this than getting caught after blurting out a pointless lie.

…Though I had no idea what that ‘heave-ho, heave-ho’ at the end was supposed to mean.

"Can’t be helped. Everyone who comes here seems to have a similar idea."

"When you say ‘everyone who comes here,’ do you mean my predecessors?"

"That’s right. The people who were here before you, Mr. Dowon."

"Ah…. ……?"

So she was talking about my seniors.

After that vague reaction, one question followed.

"When you say ‘were here,’ do you mean that they’re not here now…?"

"There’s no one here."

"……."

"…Pfft."

I couldn’t tell without a mirror, but I must have made a pretty funny face.

I couldn’t help it; my first thought had been, No way, did they all actually die?

Seeing my expression, Team Leader laughed softly aloud for the first time, then briefly added the rest of her explanation as she turned the corner.

"It’s incredibly difficult to find personnel suited to our department, but people who want to quit are incredibly quick to do so. Usually I’m either sadly guarding the office alone, or there’s barely one person here, like you, Mr. Dowon. It’s generally like this."

No talent, lots of runaways.

I roughly understood what she meant.

The work here wasn’t just taking care of some sulking brat; the other party was an apprentice witch, of all things.

Apparently there were countless twists and turns that began with ‘How dare a mere human…!’

Meanwhile, plenty of people quit even at community service centers because of the twists and turns that began with ‘How dare a mere civil servant…!’

Thinking of it that way, it didn’t seem all that special.

"Because the actual role of the Rehabilitation Support Department is quite different from what you imagined, Mr. Dowon."

"……?"

But Team Leader paid no attention to my somber mood and began by correcting my misconception.

"Let’s see…. Would you say it’s a slightly broader concept, including what you mentioned, Mr. Dowon? Of course, there may be apprentice witches somewhere who’ve holed up in their rooms because they’re sulking at their masters, but our focus is on ‘apprentice witches who don’t want to hunt monsters.’"

"Aha…."

I’ll be honest.

Though I reacted as if I understood, in fact I hadn’t understood at all.

It was truly something to be grateful for that witches hunted monsters without asking for any special reward, but what did it mean for it to be a problem if they simply didn’t hunt them?

So, how should I put it?

It was like a friend who always did my homework for me declaring one day, "I’m not doing your homework anymore!" and then the friend’s parents scolding them instead…?

"It may not have much to do with humans, but hunting monsters is a great help to witches’ magical accomplishments. Not only in terms of combat experience, but also the special substances obtained by dismantling monsters."

With the team leader’s added explanation, I could more or less understand that strange, complicated feeling.

Monsters were creatures that ate humans, but at the same time, they served as witches’ study materials.

And given that even the special substances were useful, that probably meant they could sell them to other witches and make money.

That was why witches needed to urge their apprentices to actively go monster hunting.

"…But, Team Leader."

"Yes."

Even though one small curiosity had been resolved, questions still remained.

"Why do you specifically need a civil servant—or rather, a human—to take on that role with you?"

"Hmm?"

"What I mean is… …I wonder whether they’ll listen to a human when they don’t even listen to their master."

So you can just work it out among yourselves, right?

Why does a human need to support this, too?

"Right? Of course they won’t even listen to a civil servant. Apprentice witches are still young, especially, so they tend to look down on humans while being steeped in a sense of superiority. That’s the biggest reason so many people quit."

"And yet, why do you keep hiring ordinary humans like me?"

"Umm…, first I should explain why apprentice witches who don’t want to hunt monsters appear in the first place."

Even Team Leader had gone so far as to say that proud apprentice witches would let humans’ words go in one ear and out the other.

As all the information combined to deepen my confusion instead, we had somehow arrived in front of the sign reading "Apprentice Witch Rehabilitation Support Department."

Compared to the other departments we’d passed on the way, the entrance was really tiny.

The inside, which we entered after opening the door, was bleak just as expected.

It was as neat as the hallway, but a room that was hard to call an office.

There were only four desks.

Of them, only Team Leader’s and mine were actually in use.

…At this rate, it felt more like a school clubroom than an office.

Team Leader, who had settled into the chair closest to the window, began to speak with her hands placed together at an angle.

"Sometimes, there are witches who are so afraid of monsters that they hole up in a tiny room and try to achieve magical advancement through research alone. They’re certainly one of the apprentice witches we need to keep an eye on, but we don’t actually need your help, Mr. Dowon."

"…Yes."

"And sometimes, they spend their time avoiding monsters because they’re researching magic that has nothing to do with combat. In cases like that, we don’t need to worry about them. We rarely even receive requests concerning them in the first place."

"Understood."

"Lastly, what I’m about to explain is for cases that require a ‘sturdy and decent’ human male like you very, very, very much more than they require me… Hmm……."

And as those hands gradually clasped tighter, until her palms finally met as well,

"There are, ooooccasionally, apprentice witches who don’t hunt monsters because they don’t want to use their magical power."

Having said that, she gestured for me to sit instead of continuing to stand.

At the same time, seeing one of the chairs slide smoothly on its own, it seemed she could also use magic similar to telekinesis.

…I hadn’t even heard an incantation.

Just as I expected, this confirmed that she was a witch.

"More precisely, it’s because they don’t want to ‘replenish’ it afterward."

"Replenish…."

"You don’t know much about magical power, do you, Mr. Dowon? I imagine you only know it as something like the power that lets you use magic."

"…To be honest, everything I know comes from fiction."

A witch’s magical power was something that often appeared in all kinds of games, too.

There were plenty of games that paid particular attention to staying true to the lore, so I knew the basics.

Of course, it wasn’t as though I would recklessly chatter about it in front of a witch.

"Hmm…. Setting aside anything too difficult and putting it simply, it’s a problem caused by the recovery mechanism for magical power."

"……."

"Magical power can recover naturally while you rest, or you can replenish it with help from something else. Are you following me so far?"

"Yes. I am."

"However, natural recovery is so slow and inefficient that once a person’s magical attainment reaches a certain level, they usually replenish their magical power with help from something else, right?"

From here on, this was all unfamiliar.

Having done little more than click and swallow potions in games, I listened closely to Team Leader’s voice.

"That ‘help’ is, well, simply put, semen from a man."

"…Pardon?"

Thinking I must have heard wrong,

I tilted my head slightly.

"Most people don’t mind obtaining it, you know? The most common attitude is, ‘If it’s for research, what’s the big deal……’ And plenty of people think, ‘It’s pleasurable anyway, so why not?’ By the way, I’m in the latter group."

But there was no atmosphere in which to correct her.

Instead, she only tossed out jokes that were difficult to respond to.

Even the explanation that followed fit the subject of ‘semen’ all too well.

"Still, since this isn’t news apprentice witches hear as soon as they become apprentices, quite a few of them get flustered around the time they receive sex education. They’ve lived surrounded by nothing but women, after all, so this strange phenomenon arises sometimes. To put it in terms of the human world, it’s like having gone from an all-girls kindergarten to an all-girls high school. Right?"

…Given how serious and detailed the explanation was, it didn’t seem like she was teasing me, either.

"So among apprentice witches, there are occasionally idiots who refuse to use magical power because they dislike this ‘replenishment’ stage."

"……."

"The apprentice witches who are afraid of monsters, whom I mentioned earlier, still have sex just fine, so these apprentices are actually the real headaches. Even when they hole up in their rooms, they don’t produce much research, because they avoid expending much magical power in the first place."

As she spoke, Team Leader’s gaze swept up and down my body once.

Face.

Body.

…After passing over some extremely attention-grabbing places,

all the way down to my legs.

After that slow gaze, as if she were appraising me, what she said was—

I’m not very expressive,

so I can only describe it as utterly absurd.

"From now on, roughly 70 percent of the apprentice witches you’ll be assigned to at the ‘Apprentice Witch Rehabilitation Support Department’ will be that kind of apprentice witch."

"So, to sum it up, the reason I was transferred here is…."

"That’s right. All you have to do is sweet-talk the apprentice witch I point out to you and instill in them the concept that ‘sex is a pleasurable act.’"

"……."

"After that, they’ll hunt monsters on their own and try to replenish their magical power through pleasurable acts. Simple, right?"

Even though this was a civil service job.

I could more or less understand why

the resignation rate was so high, too.