Teaching an Apprentice Witch

.

First impressions aren't actually all that reliable.

They do an amazing job of either greasing the wheels at the start of a relationship or, sometimes, throwing shit all over it….

But even so, isn't a first impression something that relies seventy percent on looks, twenty percent on rumors, and the remaining ten percent on everything else?

Even a middle-aged man with a receding hairline, sweating profusely, and a protruding belly,

who somehow looks like he might possess an exceptional talent for breeding, could actually just be an ordinarily kind person.

And someone who's first in his grade, good at every sport, gets along with everyone, and has a face like a sculpture……

like the manga protagonist I saw at Neria's house yesterday, could actually be a perverted bastard difficult to describe in words.

In that sense, the Water Apprentice Witch I met again today, Neria Heka.

To be precise, if I were to slightly revise my assessment of 'Day Three' Neria….

"Good morning, Neria. I hope you had a peaceful night…."

"Hey. Enough with the stupid-sounding talk. Before you come in, do me one errand."

"An errand?"

"Yeah. I'll pay you right away, so could you go to the convenience store up ahead and buy something to eat? Triangle kimbap or a sandwich, that sort of thing."

She was as willful as a witch, but she was a good kid.

"…Witch, do you usually take care of your meals like that?"

"I don't rely only on convenience-store food. I usually eat frozen fried rice, but I forgot to order more before I ran out."

…….

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? Can't you open your eyes nicely?"

And, though it might not be anything particularly special to say,

she was a girl with remarkably poor life skills.

That would be about the size of it.

*****

"Are you good at cooking?"

"I'm not sure. I can't confidently say I'm good at it, but I do think I'm about average."

"Average… Hmm…."

"And at the very least, I think I could make something better than frozen fried rice."

"Huh? What are you talking about? You don't know how good frozen food is these days, do you? I was skeptical at first, too, but once I tried it, it was actually pretty decent…."

"I've tried it myself from time to time, so I know. It is pretty good."

"…You mean you can do better than that?"

"I'm a little worried since I don't know your tastes, Witch. But it'll probably be all right."

"Hmm."

Neria was holding a thick novel, perhaps because she'd been in the middle of reading it.

Meeting her worried gaze, I lifted a heavy bag until it was level with my belly button.

Fortunately, she did have some cooking utensils at home, so instead of just going to the convenience store, I spent a little more time shopping for groceries before returning.

It was pitiful that she was trying to live on convenience-store food, but I also thought this would be a good way to grow closer to Neria.

If she'd looked horrified when I asked before leaving whether I should just cook for her myself, I would've immediately revised my plan on the spot.

Fortunately, rather than recoiling, she'd shown at least a little interest.

I couldn't let an opportunity like this pass me by.

"For the record, I like my food seasoned a little strongly. Just a little. Really, just a little."

"Understood."

With Neria's permission, I headed for the kitchen and checked the cooking utensils once more.

The frying pan, which had clearly had frozen fried rice spilled into it several times, showed considerable signs of use.

Had she at least occasionally boiled ramen in the pot right beside it? This one had some slight scorch marks, too.

But the kitchen knife was enthusiastically radiating the unmistakable air of 'Never been used!'

As I gave it a perfunctory scrub with a sponge and mild detergent, Neria, who had been hovering right beside me, asked,

"What are you going to cook?"

"I'll make fried rice."

"…Hmm? I thought you were going to make something special. Is it fried rice again?"

"I don't know your tastes very well yet, Neria, so I thought it would be better to make something you eat often."

"I suppose that's true."

"Is there any food you particularly like?"

"Like…? I don't know. Fried food? Anything with meat or a lot of oil seems delicious. I just don't eat it often because it's bad for you."

Fried food, huh.

Unless you're old enough to have poor digestion, doesn't everyone like that?

I nodded at the ambiguous answer and rummaged through the grocery bag I'd brought a little earlier.

Unfortunately, I hadn't bought any frying mix.

Besides, I was of the opinion that things requiring a bothersome cleanup, like fried food, were better ordered.

So what emerged at my beckoning were the seasonings known as necessities—salt, sugar, pepper, soy sauce, and so on—

the carrots and onions I'd bought for today's meal. Eggs. Instant rice.

And finally, a can of tuna.

Since these were all ingredients I'd use right away, I laid them out neatly and rolled up my shirt sleeves.

"Ah, you washed your hands, right?"

"I washed them just now while cleaning the kitchen knife."

Was she worried about the food that was soon going into her own mouth?

I'd expected her to meddle a little and then go play games, but Neria was still beside me, chattering away.

It was a shame she was standing nearly three full steps away, but if I put a positive spin on it, I could interpret that as her being willing to tolerate me at that distance.

I washed my hands once more, making sure she could see, and focused on cooking.

Since my goal was fried rice, there wasn't actually anything special about the cooking process.

I finely chopped the vegetables.

I stir-fried them in tuna oil.

Then I finished it off with instant rice, soy sauce, and scrambled eggs.

Neria's little "Ooh~" at even such a mundane bit of knife work was a little—no, quite—adorable.

But I kept quiet, thinking she'd scold me if I made a needless fuss over it.

"Let me know if it's bland."

"Yeah, yeah."

When I served the tuna-and-vegetable fried rice, Neria picked up a spoon of her own accord and plopped herself down at the dining table.

Then, after wiping her lips with the tip of her tongue and remarking that it smelled pretty good, she immediately shoved a spoonful into her mouth.

"…Mmm!"

"Is it all right?"

"It's good, isn't it? For a male prostitute, you're pretty good at this…. Oh-ho…."

"…Haha."

So I passed, at least?

That was what I thought, even as the words male prostitute once again caught in my ear and lingered there.

She's a good kid, but her choice of words is definitely devastating.

…That aside, wouldn't maid be a more appropriate term than male prostitute in this situation?

I roughly dried my wet hands and naturally sat down across from Neria.

A belated thought crossed my mind that perhaps I shouldn't be doing this, but since Neria didn't say anything, it was probably all right.

"Do you usually enjoy cooking? Or did you get better at it from living on your own?"

…….

And so, the story I heard was this.

After thinking for a long time about how to answer,

I eventually replied exactly as things were,

in a perfectly matter-of-fact tone.

"I don't like cooking, but after living alone for so long, I had no choice but to get better at it. It's not as though I can order delivery every day."

"Then I guess it's because you live alone?"

"Mm. More than that, it's because both my parents died when I was young."

"……?"

"That was also a major reason I chose a civil-service job at the age of twenty."

"Wait…, …cough! Cough!"

I'd heard before that witches were directly fashioned by the moon.

I had assumed that, since the concept of parents must be rather faint for them, Neria wouldn't feel much about my story. Unexpectedly, though, she began coughing repeatedly as if she'd choked.

Perhaps I should take this as another extension of 'She's a good kid.'

Fortunately, there was already water beside her, so I tore off some tissue from the box on one side of the table and handed it to Neria.

"Are you all right, Neria?"

"Hey, sorry…, cough! I really didn't know I was saying that…, cough!"

"You don't have to worry about it so much. It's been so long that I'm numb to the story myself now."

"Even so…. Um…."

"I'm really fine. I mean it."

…….

She's a good witch after all. Neria is.

Thinking that to myself, I waved my hand to show that I was all right.

It wasn't as though someone had gouged at my heart with this; a mere mention of it wasn't a problem.

Besides, far too much time had already passed for something like that alone to drag me down.

"……Mm."

…….

"I-it's good. This…."

"I'm glad it suits your taste."

…….

…….

…….

And yet, Neria was right in front of me, growing increasingly concerned about how I felt.

Despite saying it was delicious, her expression was still filled with guilt.

If she'd had animal ears, they surely would've been drooping straight down; that was the look on her face.

How had the mood become this heavy after just a few words?

I didn't like this mood, either.

I cleared my throat quietly, pulled my chair a little closer, and asked first.

"Neria."

"U-uh-huh?"

"How about we do this?"

"…Do what?"

There was one problem between us that we'd temporarily put out of sight.

"Since you feel so sorry toward me, why don't I ask you one thing that might make you uncomfortable instead? It might make you feel a little better, too."

"Something that would make me uncomfortable……, ……why I'm such a hikikomori?"

"No. Something more like…, well…."

For now, we were spending time together like an ordinary pair, but we couldn't go on like this forever, could we?

"Why do you hate men so much, Neria? Could you tell me, if there's a reason?"

I couldn't afford to forget what I was supposed to do.

After bringing it up carefully, I added a few more words to accommodate her feelings.

"I heard you used to be a genius, Neria."

…….

"It would be a shame to let that talent go to waste."

…….

"Your master still has high hopes for you, too."

The Team Leader had jokingly told me, 'Turn her into someone who can't live without a dick!' …but of course, I didn't have that kind of power.

Unless I were some incredible guy who changed sex partners every day, how could someone like me, whose only experience was a few relationships, pull off something like that?

So rather than blindly trying to have sex, it was necessary to have a serious conversation like this at least once.

At least, that's certainly what I thought.

"The reason… Of course there is one…. Hmm…."

…….

"…Haaaah."

"Is it a reason that's very difficult to talk about?"

"……It's not so much difficult as it is embarrassing."

"I see."

…….

…….

So I took the opportunity to ask carefully, and Neria let out a heavy sigh as she set down her spoon.

After hesitating for so long that I wondered if we'd failed again today, she finally answered hesitantly.

"At first, I planned to take care of it with semen, like the other witches. I did. But…, …before actually doing it, I, um…, …studied… it, you know?"

"…You even studied it?"

"…Why? Am I not allowed to study?"

"No. It's just surprising because it's completely different from how you are now, Witch."

"…Hmph."

In a way, I suppose it was a very witch-like algorithm.

I was an outsider, but I did know that witches devoted their entire lives to researching magic.

Since they were model students who had studied and practiced nothing but magic from childhood, it must have seemed perfectly natural to 'study' anything they didn't know.

So perhaps she'd used the pornography all over the internet as a reference.

While I was vaguely imagining that,

"Anyway, I studied not only sex education, but also, um, erotic novels, to learn roughly how things were supposed to proceed…."

"……? From novels?"

"W-what's strange about that? I only read novels praised for being well-written; I filtered out every one with problems in its logic…?"

Neria came out with this.

"Anyway, all sorts of male protagonists would just… mistreat women like this…. And this way… Treat them harshly, try to possess them, 'train' them…."

…….

"They said blood would come out at first, too…. Even male protagonists who were normally nothing but kind would turn into beasts during sex…. They'd even say in their inner monologues that it felt like their bodies were being broken apart, and things like that…."

…….

"But then I thought, maybe it's only like that because they're novels, so I watched videos, too, but there wasn't really anything different…."

She'd learned about sex from highly explicit women's erotica with a perfect 10.0 rating.

…As a result, she came to hate not only all the different kinds of men who appeared in erotic novels,

but also the act of sex itself, sex for the purpose of obtaining semen, which had naturally become frightening to her.

"……I like researching magic, but I hate pain even more, even more, even more."

After Neria's innocent confession came to an end,

a long, long silence fell between us, leaving us at a loss for words.

notes editing title to match series style; revised the ambiguous reaction line to mean Neria was watching the narrator's reaction rather than being conscious of his feelings.