Before Emotions Run High

"Yaaawn... I'm sleepy..."

I don't even remember what I did before going to bed yesterday. I didn't drink because I was out with minors, but I don't drink anyway since I dislike alcohol... I've never been drunk, and naturally, I've never blacked out either.

'After going out to eat nakgopsae and then heading to the café...'

I remembered. I had been busy fielding all sorts of questions from ten girls and dodging them this way and that. It couldn't be helped, since it was obvious that saying even one wrong thing would make the atmosphere awkward, and there was nothing in my memories that I could tell them.

"Did you have fun yesterday, Jia?"

"Ah, yes... Honestly, rather than fun, it was a series of awkward moments, so it was tiring... Still, I enjoyed spending time with my new friends."

I heard many things I would never have said or listened to before, and whenever the subject turned to that day in particular, my head began to spin. It had happened so recently that I couldn't describe it properly, and if I spoke too awkwardly, the girls would obviously think I was strange...

The weekend passed without incident, and Monday went by more or less uneventfully since it was the last day of my period. The problem began on April Fools' Day.

"Jia."

"Huh? Me?"

"I want to be friends with you... Would that be okay?"

"I'd lo..."

I couldn't finish my sentence because Yuna approached me while glaring at Jinwoo and covered my mouth.

"Mmph, mm..."

"Jinwoo, I think you're only saying that because it's April Fools' Day, so could you not?"

"Yuna, I told you I'm okay with it... Mmph?!"

"Jia, be quiet."

No, this was my decision, so why were you getting angry, Yuna...? Jinwoo had seriously said that he wanted to be friends with me, but Yuna blocked him by saying, 'There is no such thing as friendship between a boy and a girl!' This time, Jinwoo argued back, 'But this is a coed school!' Since it was normal for classmates at the same school to be friends, Jinwoo wasn't wrong, but Yuna was right in most situations.

'Among the evidence submitted when Jihye was disciplined, there was also a recording Jinwoo had made...'

That was why Yuna became extremely angry. Although Jinwoo had done it for Yuna's sake, what he had done was essentially eavesdropping. It might have been unforgivable, but Jinwoo convinced Yuna by saying that if there had been no evidence while she was suffering so much, the perpetrator would have acted shamelessly instead.

'In the end, Yuna was genuinely having a hard time too, so she let it go for the most part...'

When lunchtime arrived, Yuna gave me a triumphant smile and set off for the cafeteria with the other girls, taking me along with them. The last thing I saw of Jinwoo was him standing alone, staring blankly with a bewildered look in his eyes.

"Jia, is your stomach okay?"

"It's over as of yesterday, so I'm fine, Yuna."

Actually, I wasn't fine. It had ended yesterday, but some lingering pain remained, so my stomach still ached faintly. My eating habits, which had caused me chronic illness, had been forcibly corrected, so the problem couldn't have been my diet. My mouth opened less widely than before, so I couldn't swallow food quickly, and I could hold less liquid in my mouth when drinking. Those changes had corrected the habit.

"Jia, next time, should we go out on the weekend?"

"Jia was so cute, working hard to eat with her tiny mouth."

"Let's eat popcorn, Coke, hot dogs, and nachos at the movie theater."

"Since there are so many of us, should we split into groups?"

"Um, um... I'd appreciate it if you spoke one at a time..."

It was fortunate that they liked me, but it was extremely difficult to respond whenever three or more people started talking at once. Having more than ten people move around together was inconvenient in many ways, and it wasn't as though there weren't groups in our class, so it seemed better for everyone to split up.

"What do you think, Yuna?"

"Jia's mine, so I don't care."

Yuna boldly spoke of me as if I were some kind of possession. What was wrong with her...?

"Yuna, I'm not anyone's possession..."

"Jia's weak, so I'll protect her."

It was a grateful thing to hear, but... I should probably go to the bathroom. Unlike before, I was glad that I no longer had to change every few hours and suffer from discomfort and pain, but ovulation would begin in a week. That peculiar pain whose cause even the doctor couldn't identify would return. The pain wasn't severe, and the heat was more pronounced, so should I call it a fever...? Anyway, that was how it was.

'It's something I could never say out loud in front of the girls...'

The boys would never figure it out, but if the girls watched me for a few more months, they would catch on quickly. My period ended, ovulation began a week later, I felt fine for another week, and then my period started again, so wouldn't they notice?

'Someone seems to be coming this way... Did someone lose a game and come to confess because it's April Fools' Day?'

"Um, Jia."

"Yes?"

"I li..."

The boy couldn't finish his sentence either, because Yuna stood between me and him and blocked him.

"I know it's April Fools' Day, but let's not play a prank that hurts the other person."

"Sorry, I lost a bet..."

What kind of bet would make someone come confess to me? If he genuinely meant it, I could simply reject him sincerely and be done with it, but if it was a prank, how was I supposed to react? Should I cry as if I'd been toyed with? I felt like I could force myself to shed tears if I squeezed out some emotion... I went through those ordinary days until one day, I heard Yuna's heartfelt words.

"Jia, there's something I want to tell you and only you. Will you come with me for a moment?"

"Huh? Where?"

"Somewhere."

Yuna took my hand and led me to the counseling room. Since the counseling rooms weren't used very often, the school sometimes let students borrow an empty one so they could have serious conversations with one another.

"You know Jihye found out my weakness, right?"

"Yes, I know."

"I'm going to tell you about it today."

"Uh... Is it okay for me to hear that?"

I felt that if it was something serious enough to be used as leverage, it might be better if no one knew about it... I wouldn't stop Yuna if she really wanted to tell me, but I was worried about whether she would be all right.

"I-I don't want to hear it, Yuna. Things like that are better if no one knows..."

Just as I expressed my refusal and stood up...

"Jia, I... my mother passed away last year."

"......"

I was afraid that saying the wrong thing might hurt Yuna, so I quietly sat back down, kept my mouth shut, and listened.

"Of course, it's been over six months, so it doesn't trouble me anymore."

"So something else happened."

"Yes. My father killed my mother."

"What??"

W-What did she mean? He killed her? Was it murder?

"He didn't murder her himself, but even when my mother was taken to the emergency room because she was sick, he didn't come to the hospital. She kept looking for him until just before she died, but he said he was busy with his business and didn't come even once."

So that was what Jihye had used as leverage... She really was an unforgivable piece of trash. Of course, she might have had wounds and circumstances of her own, but if someone stabbed another person with a knife because they had been punched once, that could lead to a murder charge.

"I'm sorry for telling you something so heavy, Jia, but I rely on you."

"This isn't simply because you like me, is it?"

"I saw my mother in you."

So that was why Yuna had clung to me and acted spoiled in the hospital. I must have reminded her of her ailing mother, and she had acted that way because she was afraid I might leave too.

"So when you were taken to the hospital and I went with you, I was afraid that even the friend I'd had such a hard time making would leave me."

"I see... I won't leave you, Yuna."

Yuna's eyes filled with tears when she heard my answer. The idea that I could fill the emptiness left by her mother was absurd, let alone impossible. I was simply a student whom Yuna liked a little more than the others. I wiped Yuna's tears with a tissue, and when we returned to the classroom together, we sensed that something about the atmosphere was strange.

'Did something happen? Why is the atmosphere in the classroom like this? Is it because of us...?'

Yuna and I sat down, but the boys kept glancing at the two of us. The girls also looked back and forth between the boys and me, so perhaps they were worried that someone had confessed to me as an April Fools' prank like earlier.

"Jia, did something happen...? Did the boys perhaps..."

"No, nothing happened. Yuna and I just had a little talk together."

"Ah, I see~"

I could feel the classroom atmosphere brighten again. School life was really difficult... It wasn't easy. I had felt the same way when I went to school as a man, but thinking about it now, watching people who hadn't even served in the military act strangely as though they were in the army seemed to support the theory that humans were inherently evil.

'Maybe it wasn't because they were in the military, but simply because there was a hierarchy and people gathered together in one place...'

Fortunately, after opening up to me, Yuna became even brighter and seemed to get along with the other girls better than before, laughing and chatting with them. Perhaps she had become too cheerful, because she kept touching my stocking-clad legs... It put me in a difficult position, but she was doing it because she liked me, right? There weren't any other feelings involved, were there, Yuna...?

*

And on April 7... ovulation began. I had no problems after arriving at school and attending three classes, but I began to feel it faintly while eating lunch and brushing my teeth. Unlike the cramping pain I had felt that day, ovulation brought a rising ache accompanied by heat.

"Sigh..."

The thought of having to endure this pain for the next week made me sigh. Yuna bought a drink from the vending machine, handed it to me, and watched me with concern.

"Jia, are you okay? Your face is red..."

"My face is red...?"

"Yes, and you look a little short of breath too..."

"Really...?"

Yuna asked whether there was anything she could do to help, but there wasn't. This was something even the hospital couldn't resolve, so there was little Yuna could do. I should make up some excuse and go to the nurse's office.

"T-Teacher..."

"Oh, Jia? Go right in."

"Yes, thank you..."

The teachers at school probably knew the general details about me so they could prepare in case I collapsed. I clutched my faintly aching stomach and headed to the nurse's office once again.

'The problem is that, unlike that day, medicine and hot packs can't solve everything...'

Even if I used a hot pack, I couldn't keep it on for long. It could make me even hotter, so I had to apply it only when the pain became noticeable and remove it soon after. The school nurse also looked concerned as she watched me lie on the bed and exhale hot breaths.

"Mr. Minsu... Could you come pick me up from school, please...?"

Unable to endure it any longer, I called Mr. Minsu and decided to visit the hospital. The school hadn't made an issue of it, so perhaps Mr. Minsu had arranged something separately...? I felt as though I was receiving special treatment, which made me a little sorry toward the other students.

"The exact cause still hasn't been determined, so there is no definitive way to resolve it... We can only reduce the pain somewhat."

"If we can do even that, we should."

Mr. Minsu might have been surprised when I suddenly called him, but he handled the situation calmly and professionally. Thanks to him, I was able to fall asleep feeling a little reassured, and after waking up, I received a prescription and headed home.

"Jia, are you all right?"

"Yes, Unnie... I didn't faint this time, unlike when I first passed out."

I called Mr. Minsu and told him about my hospital visit, then reassured Unnie. She said, 'It's still a relief that Jia seems to be getting a little better.'

Two days later, I went to school and spent an ordinary day until... I faced a crisis. I left the classroom alone because I had something to do, but Jinwoo secretly followed me and Yuna caught him red-handed.

"Hey, Kwon Jinwoo. What are you doing?"

"Huh? Th-that...? I wanted to get closer to Jia, so I was trying to find out Jia's pre..."

"Shut up, Kwon Jinwoo. You filthy stalker."

Honestly, I couldn't take Jinwoo's side. I had been willing to let most things slide, but stalking was something I had explicitly told him to stop. If he was afraid to go up against Yuna, he could have faced her directly and settled it with words, so why had he followed me secretly again and caused this situation...?

"J-Jia!"

"Yes?"

"I really want to be friends with you..."

I didn't want to hear anything more from Jinwoo. Now that I was a high school student the same age as everyone else, maybe I was allowed to act like a child once in a while.

"I told you last time, gather up your courage and speak to me face-to-face. I wish you'd stop following me..."

"Even after Jia warned you, you ignored her when she said it was okay and stalked her?"

After Yuna said that, Jinwoo looked as though he was about to cry and begged us to listen to him just once. When Yuna still refused to hear him out, Jinwoo shouted, "Even when I tried to approach Jia and talk to her, you wouldn't listen and kept cutting me off!" Then he ran to the bathroom.

'Oh no, if this happens... I'm in a difficult position too. It looks as though I cut off a kid who wanted to make friends, even if his method was strange.'

Yuna began watching my expression. She seemed to have only just realized that something was wrong. To be honest, Yuna's actions could be considered somewhat wrong. Whether I liked it or not, I should have been the one to handle things myself, but Yuna had treated me as though she were my guardian, shielding me and shutting Jinwoo out... Of course, Jinwoo was definitely also in the wrong for trying to follow me secretly. I knew that because I could feel his gaze, but...

"Yuna, thank you for protecting me, but I'll handle things myself as I see fit, so you don't need to worry so much. Jinwoo also deserves to be scolded for ignoring what I said and trying to follow me secretly. Besides, I already knew because I could feel him watching me."

I couldn't just leave this alone. But my vision was gradually blurring. Huh...? I had thought I was getting better because I hadn't fainted on the first day, but had that only been because it hadn't really started yet? My eyes... were... closing...

"Jia!!"

"J-Jia!"

Even though Yuna was completely flustered, she caught me, while Jinwoo stood beside her in confusion, unsure what to do. I saw them both, and then lost consciousness.