I Can't Take It Anymore

It was obviously my fault for following Jia around... To put it kindly, I was following her in secret, but really, it was just stalking. However, I also think Yuna was in the wrong. If Jia says she's okay, who is Yuna to cut me off completely?

"Huh?"

I had come into the bathroom impulsively because I was angry, but I hadn't intended to stop talking altogether, so I stood by the bathroom door and watched Jia and Yuna. Then, when I saw Jia suddenly collapse, I was shocked and ran out.

"J-Jia!"

Yuna and I must have overwhelmed Jia. She was always enduring the pain caused by her illness, but seeing us act like that right in front of her might have put enough mental stress on her to make her faint.

"I'll take her to the nurse's office."

"...Yeah."

This time, even Yuna couldn't object. No matter how much she disliked me, shouldn't we take Jia to the nurse's office? The school nurse told us that Jia would wake up after resting for a while and that we should return to the classroom.

"Yuna, I know that what I did was wrong. But I think you're violating Jia's freedom too."

"...Yeah, but you were clearly in the wrong too, so you'll have to show Jia through your actions."

Fortunately, Jia returned to the classroom when the last period before school let out began. Her expression still didn't look good, but... from Jia's perspective, there was a male classmate who ignored her wishes and stalked her, and a female classmate who ignored her freedom and tried to control her. It was understandable that she would feel stressed.

'I need to find a place where we can have a serious conversation...'

While I was thinking about all that and wondering how to apologize to Jia, Yuna spoke up.

"Jia, are you feeling all right?"

"U-Um, y-yeah..."

Jia didn't seem happy to see Yuna, as though she felt a little uncomfortable around her. ...She probably wouldn't be happy to see me either, but Yuna said she wanted to arrange a place where the two of them could face each other and talk things out. I had some responsibility in the matter too, so I should join them.

"Jia, if it's okay, could I also..."

"You, Jinwoo...!"

"Yuna, it's my decision to make."

When Jia said that, Yuna lowered her head and fell silent. She had thought she was doing it for Jia's sake, but no matter how she looked at it, she had simply been violating Jia's freedom, so Yuna's reaction was understandable.

"Jinwoo did something seriously wrong to me too, so let's talk about it together, the three of us."

"Yeah, thanks for giving me a chance."

"..."

After each of us contacted our families to let them know we would be home a little late, we went into a cheap franchise café not far from the school. I ordered an Americano, while Jia ordered a strawberry-banana drink, and Yuna ordered the same thing as Jia.

"Jia, I'm sorry for stalking you. I guess I acted that way because I was desperate after having no friends at all..."

"...All right. I'll trust you one last time. If you do it again, I'll report you to the police."

"Yeah..."

If Jia hadn't been involved, wouldn't I already have been arrested or disciplined and suspended for at least a week? Whatever the case, I was relieved that Jia had let me off so easily. Jia's face when she forgave me was so beautiful that she looked like a saint. Maybe it felt that way because this was a scene in which she was forgiving me.

"Jia, I'm sorry too. For what I told you about last time... I'm sorry for treating you as though you were my possession."

"I know you were trying to protect me, but if I ever face someone truly dangerous, I'll ask for the help I need. So don't worry too much. Besides, it happened at school."

"Yeah, I'll be careful."

Yuna's expression brightened after Jia forgave her too. Fortunately, the atmosphere seemed much better than before.

"...!"

Jia must have been a little hungry, because her stomach growled, followed by Yuna's and mine. We hadn't eaten dinner, and we had been talking for quite a while, so it was only natural that we were hungry.

"There's an inexpensive pasta restaurant nearby. How about pasta?"

"I'm good with that. What about you, Yuna?"

"...My family is telling me to come home quickly, so you two will have to go without me."

Was I really supposed to be alone with Jia in this situation? It would probably be a little awkward... but it couldn't be helped. I decided to give it a try. Jia and I said goodbye to Yuna, saw her off, and watched her get into her car.

"What kind of pasta do you like, Jia?"

"I don't really dislike anything, but... tomato pasta or pasta with chicken in it?"

"You're similar to me. Carbonara is good too, and I'm fine with pretty much anything."

We went into the restaurant and ordered carbonara, spicy chicken pasta, and one serving of pilaf instead of a side dish. I suggested the pilaf because the pasta portions weren't very large, so we would probably fill up more with pilaf than with a side dish.

"How is it? Does it taste okay?"

"Mhm, it's delicious here."

Jia worked hard to put pasta into her small mouth and chew it, and she was incredibly cute. I had stalked someone like her... A deep sense of guilt came over me belatedly.

"What's wrong, Jinwoo? We came here to enjoy a good meal, and the pilaf is going to get cold. Come on, let's eat."

"Ah, right. The pilaf is pretty good too."

Coming to my senses belatedly, I put a little pilaf onto Jia's plate. When she said, 'I've eaten all the pasta, so I'll only have a little pilaf,' I served her a little more and ate the rest myself.

"Thanks for today, Jia."

"Yeah. Get a hold of yourself, work up the courage, and make some friends."

Fortunately, Jia hadn't been angry enough to refuse to have dinner with me, either. That was a huge relief.

*

As I gradually came to my senses and opened my eyes, I saw a somewhat familiar ceiling. The nurse's office ceiling...

"Oh my, you're awake?"

"Yes, ma'am..."

"I'm sorry there's no treatment I can give you even though you're suffering."

"No, it's all right. The hospital hasn't found a definite solution either."

Unlike that day, there wasn't any particular solution this time. So whenever I became too hot, all I could do was lie still in the nurse's office and cool myself down as much as possible. After some time passed and my body felt better, I returned to the classroom, only to realize that it was already the last period. That put me in a difficult position.

'Even so, I'm a student now, so I should pay attention in class...'

If I kept missing class like this, would I even be able to graduate? Maybe Yuna and Jia had eased their resentment toward each other a little—or perhaps they had argued and made up while I was lying in the nurse's office—and somehow set up a face-to-face meeting between the three of us?

'Yuna and Jinwoo still seem tense because they haven't completely made up yet...'

Since we were already at a café, I might as well have a delicious drink before leaving. Hehe... What should I get? Oh, they have a strawberry-banana drink. A few years ago, I stopped by a convenience store far from home and tried strawberry-banana milk. The combination had been so delicious that I still remembered it. Besides, drinks sold in stores tended to contain plenty of sugar, so there was no way a combination like that could fail. Yuna ordered the same thing as me, while Jinwoo ordered an iced Americano.

After that, Jinwoo and Yuna each apologized to me for what they had done, and I forgave them. Refusing to forgive them at a gathering meant for a serious conversation would only make things worse, and although I looked like a high school student on the outside, my mental age was well over twenty. I had no intention of getting angry at kids five or six years younger than me.

"Jia, I love you."

"Pfft! Gulp, cough, cough..."

Jinwoo was startled by Yuna's bombshell and choked. I was dumbfounded too, so I stared at Yuna, but she only grinned as though Jinwoo was the only one who needed to be flustered.

"You shouldn't say things like that so lightly, and we're both girls..."

"Pwahahaha! That was a good way to lighten the mood, Yuna."

Fortunately, Jinwoo seemed to have relaxed a little too, and the tension left his face. It would probably take some time for Yuna and Jinwoo to truly make up, but I hoped they would get along. They really were high school students, so whatever they did together, they would act more naturally than I did.

"...Jia, I think I have to go."

"Really? It can't be helped, then."

Yuna looked at her phone, perhaps because she had received a message, and her expression darkened completely. I guessed her family was calling her home. As far as I knew, the people Yuna openly disliked were her father and Jinwoo... Though perhaps she could even make up with Jinwoo.

In the end, Jia and I went to eat pasta alone. We ordered two servings of pasta and one serving of pilaf and ate dinner together. Fortunately, Jinwoo looked brighter throughout the meal, as though he was enjoying the pasta.

"Jinwoo, I heard you have a friend in another class..."

"I do, but I'm in Class 3 now. I need a friend in Class 3."

Since it was April now, Jinwoo wasn't wrong. Having a friend in another class didn't have much effect on school life; they would probably just be happy to run into each other occasionally. More than anything, Jinwoo was having a hard time because he had no friends in Class 3, so he needed a friend in our class.

If Yuna didn't get in the way, I could be that friend. The boys in Class 3 were extremely energetic, and they had already formed their own groups, so Jinwoo didn't want to join them.

"Actually, I have three friends who ended up in other classes, but it's already April. By the end of the second semester, we'll probably have grown distant from each other."

"People do say that out of sight means out of mind..."

People who had once hated and fought each other as though they wanted to kill one another eventually lost those feelings when they went to different high schools and stopped seeing each other. That was one way time healed things. Conversely, even people who had once been close could become awkward with each other after being apart for a long time.

"Jinwoo, it's time for us to go home, isn't it?"

"Yeah, we should leave before it gets any later... But promise me one thing."

"Promise?"

"Go out with me."

? What? He wanted me to go out with him? He didn't mean that kind of going out, did he?

"Aaaah! That's not what I meant! As classmates! As classmates! Hahahaha!"

"R-Right, yeah. Classmates..."

Phew... He startled me. Fortunately, it had just been a slip of the tongue... He hadn't meant anything strange.

*

School life during ovulation was incredibly difficult. Sometimes the heat in my lower abdomen and the heat of my breath became so intense that I could barely endure it, and I increasingly had to go to the nurse's office to lie down.

"Jia, are you really all right?"

"Yeah... Haa... I-I'm fi...ne..."

No, I wasn't fine. If this made me miss school, I would have to miss an entire week every month. At that point, I might as well stop going to school altogether. My body was simply a little unusual, and I wasn't going to die from the pain, so I should be able to attend school without a problem. Probably...

"By the way, did you and Jinwoo work things out?"

"Yeah, we worked things out. I agreed to be his classmate."

"What? Really? What about the boys?"

After hearing that much, Jinwoo cleared his throat and called out to Yuna.

"Yuna, I'm really sorry, but my personality is kind of... so it's hard for me to get along with the boys, and they've already formed their own groups..."

"All right, then I'll hang out with you too."

"? What do you mean, Yuna?"

What on earth was Yuna talking about? She got along well with all the girls in our class and everyone else too, so there'd be no reason for her to hang out with Jinwoo and me.

"Considering what Jinwoo did, I'm honestly still not at ease."

"So that's why you're going to hang out with us?"

Jinwoo said nothing and simply listened. Stalking someone of the opposite sex was one thing; if it were between people of the same sex, it might just be passed off as a prank... maybe? But Jinwoo was a boy, and I was a girl now, so there was no avoiding the fact that it looked strange.

'Two girls and one boy... I'm a little worried about the way people will look at Jinwoo.'

Jinwoo was fairly handsome too, so people might misunderstand if he walked around with two girls. Besides, the girls in our class came looking for me quite often, so pulling away from them to spend time with Jinwoo felt like it would be extremely difficult.

"What? Jinwoo?"

"It's good that he made a friend..."

"Huh? Jia's ours."

What are you talking about now, Yeji...? It wasn't as though we were dating or anything. I would usually spend time with the girls, but during breaks or when the whole class did something together, I would play with Jinwoo. That was probably what it would be like.

'At least it's fortunate that Yuna and Jinwoo have gotten along better.'

The two of them had once had such intense resentment toward each other that the fact they could now be alone together without fighting was a major improvement. Midterms were coming at the end of April too, and having people who disliked each other in the same class would negatively affect the class atmosphere.

Things were fairly ordinary after that. Whenever I became too hot to endure, I rested for a while in the nurse's office, chatted with my classmates, and listened to Jinwoo's little everyday stories together with Yuna.

"Ugh, Unnie... I miss you..."

But when I came home, I couldn't have an ordinary day. My body became so hot that I couldn't even lie still and had to keep twitching and trembling. In that state, I thought of the people who could stay by my side at home—Unnie and Mr. Minsu. Since Unnie was also a woman, she could comfort me mentally, but physically... it would probably be difficult.

'But Unnie isn't home right now...'

Unnie was coming home late this Friday because she seemed to have a lot of work. I thought about Mr. Minsu too, but I felt a prickling sensation inside my breasts, along with something else... It was a sensation I had never experienced before. I could understand feeling a prickling sensation in my lower abdomen, since that was where my female organs were, but my breasts shouldn't have been like that, so the sensation felt strange.

'January, February, March, and now April... I can't take it anymore...'

I truly couldn't continue ignoring this ache in my body. They said it wasn't good for men to abstain for too long, so didn't women have something similar? In my case, I had suddenly become a woman, so it wouldn't be strange if several years' worth of need had accumulated all at once.

'Besides... my panties are damp, and I don't want to keep suffering from this heat forever...'

Even so, I still felt a little resistant and frightened at the thought of touching myself down there and pleasuring myself, so I decided to start by soothing the prickling in my breasts whenever I thought of Mr. Minsu... I'm not strange. It's because of this illness. I'm not a perverted woman, okay? I'm absolutely not...