The Worries of Two People

Thinking back on spending Saturday with Jia, Jiyeon had one concern. Jia had seemed cheerful in front of me... but how long after breakfast had it been when she suddenly stopped while trying to call me and stood motionless? When I waved my hand in front of her eyes and hugged her, she shed tears again. Then she suddenly put a hand to her neck and tightened it, only to tell me she'd done it because she wanted to know whether this was a dream or reality.

'It isn't unreasonable for her to think that what happened to her might be a dream.'

Today is Sunday. Jia will probably go to court with Mr. Minsu tomorrow, right? I have to work, so I can't stay by her side... After seeing what she did yesterday, I think she should visit a psychiatric hospital at least once, but she has a rare disease, so she can't just go anywhere... In the first place, even if we went to an ordinary psychiatric hospital, they'd think Jia and I were strange. If two women clearly showed up, and the shorter one said she'd been a man until last week but had changed like this and needed psychiatric treatment, what doctor would say, 'Yes. I understand.'? But there isn't really a suitable hospital for Jia to go to. It might be better to bring her to the hospital where she received treatment. Mr. Minsu is there too, so counseling might help.

Huh? A call?

I answered immediately, without even having time to check who it was.

"Hello, who is this?"

[It's me, Minsu]

Mr. Minsu said he was going to buy six months' worth of things Jia needed, but he had contacted me because he wasn't sure what things only women needed. I had taken Jia to buy some sanitary pads, but they wouldn't last six months. So I answered, 'You'll need sanitary pads, feminine wash, and, just in case, some spare underwear. If they leak, it would be a little... awkward to wash them and wear them again.' Of course, Minsu was biologically male too, so it was only natural that he wouldn't know Jia's size. I felt sorry for Jia, but I decided to tell Mr. Minsu her size just this once. 'I'm telling you because I think this is something Jia really needs, but you'll have to erase it appropriately later, okay? Don't memorize it, either.'

"Mr. Minsu, do you know what happened to Jia yesterday?"

[? What happened...]

"Jia started calling me, then suddenly went blank. When I called her name and hugged her, she started crying... Then she put a hand to her neck and tightened it, so I immediately pulled her hand away and asked, 'Jia, are you sure you've calmed down?' She replied, '...Yes, I am. I just wanted to know whether this was a dream or reality.'"

[...She needs psychological treatment. Actually, when she first changed, she didn't deny reality; she just sat there dazed, and I thought she had become cheerful with Ms. Jiyeon's help... But I suppose she's only now beginning to feel that her own body has changed.]

Of course, Jia acted cheerful again afterward, but once I'd seen her like that, her smiles no longer looked genuine. If I faltered too, it would only make things harder for her, so I spent the day with her, acting cheerful again. A few hours later, just before lunch, Mr. Minsu contacted me once more and asked whether I could become her legal guardian, which she needed in order to establish a new legal identity. Of course, I agreed.

*

After talking with Mr. Minsu for several hours, we decided to part after lunch. I asked him, 'Is there any food you like?' but Mr. Minsu said, 'I have enough money to buy Jia something delicious every day,' and told me to choose whatever I wanted to eat. However, I clearly remembered one of the cautions the doctor at the hospital had given me: I shouldn't eat spicy, overly salty, greasy, or heavily seasoned food. It wasn't an absolute prohibition, but since her body had suddenly changed inside and out, they said it was better to be cautious. Is this exactly like a sickly bishoujo...? 'Her skin has gotten a little paler, and she seems to have gotten a little shorter too (though she's probably still taller than the average woman). Well, she was already shorter than the average man, so it doesn't matter much. In the first place, every man who passed by around me was taller than I was.

"...Now that I think about it, I really was short. Even people older than me were often taller..."

Even so, I was taller than the average woman, but average height didn't mean everyone passing by would be that height. There could have been an unusually large number of tall people that day, or there might not have been. Thinking about it, Mr. Minsu sitting in front of me was extremely tall. Could he be 180 centimeters tall? Sigh, this wasn't the time for that—I needed to think about lunch...

"I want S Sandwiches near the station."

"Would that be enou... No, never mind. That should be enough."

Mr. Minsu started saying something, then changed course. I had heard him get as far as 'Would that be enou...' so he must have been worried that I ate less now. And he was right: I had been a fairly big eater before, enough to finish a bowl of gukbap and still have room. I couldn't do that in this body. Once I started eating, I got full and always left food behind.

"Shall I take my car and pick some up?"

"Huh? That seems a little unfair to you..."

"Considering what happened last night, that might be for the best, especially since it's the weekend today."

"What happened last night?"

"...It sounds like it might take a while, so I'll tell you after we eat lunch."

After I finished speaking, Mr. Minsu silently nodded, then said, 'I'll be back shortly,' and left. But even I think S Sandwiches are a little expensive, aren't they? With that money, I'd go to B Burger, spend a little more, and eat until I was stuffed. 'Well, he did say he had plenty of money, so I suppose it's fine...'

*

Minsu got into his car and drove to a nearby S Sandwiches location. Traffic was a little heavy because it was a weekend afternoon, but it wasn't too bad, so he arrived fairly quickly. When he saw the kiosk, he realized he didn't know what kind of sandwich Jia preferred and called her.

"Hello? Ms. Jia?"

[Yes, hello?]

"I just got to the store, and looking at the kiosk, I see there are an incredible number of menu options. I'll ask you about them one by one."

[Yes.]

"What would you like for the menu?"

[Turkey.]

"What kind of bread would you like?"

[Um... white!]

"What kind of cheese would you like?"

[American cheese, please.]

"How would you like your vegetables?"

[Um... Leave out the olives and jalapeños.]

"And the sauce..."

[The sauces labeled Recommended on the screen, please.]

"Chipotle and sweet chili."

[Those, please.]

"Shall we skip the additional options?"

[Yes.]

"What would you like for the set?"

[A chocolate chip cookie and a Coke Zero, please.]

"Yes, I'll have it wrapped and be right there."

[Thank you~]

After placing the order, Minsu sat and waited. When the food came out a little later, he took it to the car and set off quickly. Even if Jia's appetite had decreased, she probably hadn't eaten breakfast, so he decided to hurry. He didn't notice that he was smiling faintly.

*

I was happy at the thought of eating a sandwich I'd wanted to try but considered too expensive, which was why I rarely went there. Since Mr. Minsu had set out right away, I thought he must often eat those sandwiches, but apparently that wasn't the case: a few minutes later, he called and asked me about every detail before placing the order. He really was a kind person. A normal thank-you probably wouldn't be enough. After a few minutes, the doorbell rang. When I checked the intercom, I saw Mr. Minsu holding the wrapped sandwich, so I opened the door.

"Have you eaten sandwiches from here often, Ms. Jia?"

Mr. Minsu said this as he sat down.

"No, not really. I searched on my phone while thinking, 'What should I eat~?'"

"I see. Since you bought a cookie set, I bought one too, but cookies with a sandwich are an interesting combination."

"I thought so too, but it was really delicious, hehe."

We unwrapped our respective orders and began eating, but perhaps because my mouth had gotten smaller, eating the sandwich was a little more difficult. Even before, ingredients often fell out when I bit into a sandwich, which made it hard, but this time I couldn't take a big bite when I held it carefully and brought it to my mouth. 'I did eat too quickly before, though...' Suddenly, I wondered what menu Mr. Minsu had chosen.

"What did you order, Mr. Minsu?"

"I ordered the roasted chicken and the B.M.T. I was originally going to order a 30-centimeter chicken sandwich, but I got two different 15-centimeter sandwiches instead."

"Hmm~ I think I've only been to this sandwich place four times in my life. There wasn't a branch near my old home, and I never had any reason to pass by one after coming here."

As I watched Mr. Minsu enjoying his sandwich, I handed him his drink.

"Ah, thank you."

By the time we'd finished our sandwiches, Mr. Minsu discreetly handed me a tissue. When I wiped my mouth, I saw that some sauce had gotten on it, and I felt a little embarrassed. Was this how women felt when eating with men? Since I'd decided to accept my new self as I was, I decided not to think of it as strange.

"Since there are two cookies, shall we split them in half?"

"Yes, I'd like that."

I broke the cookies in half and ate them one by one, slowly. My mouth couldn't open as wide as before anyway, and I thought I'd be embarrassed if I got it covered in crumbs again. After we finished lunch, Mr. Minsu said, 'I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow morning. Take care, and I'll see you tomorrow.' I smiled brightly at Mr. Minsu and waved.

"I had been used to being alone, but... I don't think I can do that anymore."

I didn't like how quiet the house felt. I thought I'd gotten used to the silence after living alone for quite a long time, but I suppose I hadn't. In the first place, I'd always turned something on while eating—no, I always had a video playing—so I must have been lonely too. Those feelings had only grown stronger after my body changed like this. If I'd come home alone and spent all my time alone from the beginning, I might not have noticed, but after spending time noisily with someone else, I realized that being alone was lonely. At this rate... I was going to find being alone unbearably boring and lonely.

"Ms. Jia!"

"Yes??"

"You have to tell me about what happened last night!"

"Ah."

I apologized to Mr. Minsu for forgetting what I'd said I would tell him, then opened the door. After that, I told Mr. Minsu what had happened the night before.

"...That's a heartbreaking story. And what happened with your neighbor was quite dangerous. Please tell me immediately if anything like that happens again. I'll make sure to answer even if you call at dawn."

"Yes, thank you."

*

A week ago, Jiyeon had made plans to meet her friends, and since she couldn't cancel them, she met them at the agreed-upon place, ate lunch, and was heading to a café. She appeared to be laughing and chatting about various things with friends her age, but she wasn't laughing inside. She couldn't laugh. Jia's words after Jiyeon had stopped her from putting a hand to her neck and tightening it wouldn't leave her mind. It felt as if something terrible would happen if she forgot those words. Even as she wondered whether Jia was really all right, she forced herself to smile in front of her friends. Then a text arrived.

'I want to hear in detail what happened between you and Jia yesterday.'

It was from Mr. Minsu. Minsu ought to know what had happened between Jia and me yesterday. We'd talked about it once on the phone, but there was no harm in finding out more. Mr. Minsu had also been taking good care of Jia, and since he seemed to like her—he often smiled without realizing it—he must have been very worried too. But she was on her way to a café with her friends, so she would have to ask them to understand and step away for a moment.

'I have plans, so I'm meeting my friends for a while. Please wait just a moment.'

Jiyeon told her friends that something urgent had come up, that she would make a quick call and be right back, then excused herself and moved away.

"Hello."

"I'll tell you everything that happened yesterday."

Jiyeon slowly described everything that had happened the day before, clearly and in detail. Her voice had been steady at first, but as she reached the part where Jia put her hand to her neck, it began trembling so badly that even Jiyeon didn't realize it. Minsu was also so shocked as he listened that he stammered in a trembling voice, 'I-Is that really true?' Of course he would be shocked. Jia—that girl—had lost her sex and even transformed into someone whose appearance she herself had never seen before, yet she had tried to show only her cheerful side. Even when her friend appeared, her face had been extremely surprised, but she hadn't looked gloomy.

"I think Ms. Jia needs professional psychological counseling or psychiatric treatment."

"I think so too, but considering Jia's current condition, it may be difficult for her to visit a psychiatric hospital. For now, I'll speak to one of the doctors at the hospital where I work and see if she can receive psychological counseling there."

"Please do that. I hope Ms. Jia's bright smile can become a genuine smile."

"I hope so too."

The two of them failed to notice their eyes growing red as they talked about Jia. They were so worried about her that they had no attention left to spare for their own faces.

"Hey, I'm back~ Sorry I took so long!"

Jiyeon said this as she entered the café where her friends were waiting.

"You were a little late. I ordered your favorite!"

"Yes, thank you!"

"...Jiyeon, are you all right?"

"Huh? Why?"

"Did a guy dump you?"

"W-What are you talking about?! I don't even have a boyfriend!"

"...Look at this."

Her friend held out a small hand mirror to Jiyeon. Reflected in it were Jiyeon's reddened eyes and tears that had gathered, seemingly about to fall but not quite.

"Huh? Maybe it's because the wind was cold. Hahaha! It's still cold out."

"Th-Then that's a relief!"

Jiyeon dabbed at her tears with a tissue, forcing a smile. Like Jia, she was smiling on the outside but couldn't smile inside.