Chapter 223
As soon as Cecil spoke, Luna quickly turned around and went on her way.
"Do you dislike Luna?"
"Huh?"
"I'm just asking."
Cecil watched me like a puppy. As if she had read my mental fatigue, her attitude softened a bit.
However, she didn't try to forcibly cover up her true feelings.
Cecil crossed her arms and grumbled, avoiding my gaze, "It's... irritating."
"Why?"
"There are many things you don't know. Not only did she invade my territory and deceive me, but even when we were camping before, when you were asleep... never mind."
"What is it?"
"It's just something only girls know. Are you very close with Luna?"
"Luna probably doesn't have any proper friends besides me. I don't have many besides Luna either."
"...Really? Who else is there?"
Cecil's eyes were strange.
"...Someone you know?"
"Sion?"
"She's somewhere between a friend and just an acquaintance."
"Then why did you go on a date with Sion in Rigved before?"
Is she talking about when I had my fortune told with Sion? She was really upset about this before too. Is she still holding onto it?
"As I said before, it wasn't a date."
"Then what was it?"
"I spent time with her at her master's request."
"Isn't that a date?"
"Since I received compensation... wouldn't it be a request?"
Cecil suddenly thrust something against my chest. It was an invitation beautifully decorated with dried flowers.
"Mine isn't a request, and there's no compensation or coercion, right? Although I will kill you with my own hands if you don't come."
"...Alright. I'll attend voluntarily."
"It's in a week! An artist from Claridium has moved to Rigved, so they're holding a big event. The Art Club will be going soon too, so you can build connections and get information there. I'm going because I have a class!"
Having finished her business, Cecil turned around and left. Then, as if remembering something, she turned back towards me.
"But about massaging Sion's legs during your date..."
"That's a false rumor."
"Right? I thought so. My legs are much better shaped anyway."
"...?"
Cecil turned and left. After a few steps, she turned back towards me again.
"By the way, do you like clothes that expose legs?"
***
After finishing dinner, a light rain started falling.
The wooden sword was still upset with me, and the magic sword still didn't seem to want to communicate.
Trisha said she liked the rain and sat by my room's window wrapped in a blanket, engrossed in reading a script.
That day too, I peacefully finished my routine and headed to the Forbidden Forest.
Callios was waiting in the same place as yesterday. He sat on the gravestone, flipping through some unknown bundle of documents, and said,
"Have you tried talking to the magic sword?"
"I tried as you said, but it still doesn't work."
"Hmm, I see for now. By the way, all your friends are mages."
"Not all of them."
"Do you like women with long hair? Why?"
What on earth is he talking about?
"I don't particularly prefer them. But that... is it okay?"
"What, you mean me going through your records?"
So that was what he was flipping through, wetting his fingers with saliva.
"No, I mean that gravestone."
"Don't worry about it. If I had died and this fellow had lived, he would have sat on my grave just the same."
"..."
He wasn’t bound by formalities or customs. Usually, people became more bound by such things as they got older, but Callios acted radically despite having held a high position in the Empire.
"Is there a particular reason you prefer mages?"
"I didn't prefer them because they were mages. They just happened to be mages after we became close. And I have friends who aren't magicians too."
"Who? Call out their names."
"...There's Sion, and Cecil isn't a mages either."
"You never know. They might have been born as magicians but just changed their career path."
"If you force it like that, you could make even a newborn baby a criminal."
Callios was still focused on digging into my personal life.
"Even your master is a mage."
"There's nothing strange about that."
Callios shook his head.
"But you need to be careful. You seem to think mages are the same as humans. You have no sense of caution."
"Are you saying mages aren't human?"
"Magicians are born completely different from humans from birth. They just look similar on the outside. Their latent nature is entirely different."
"How are they different?"
"Mages control nature from birth. They can kill adult humans from birth. In fact, there are countless such accidents. Mages age more slowly than elves, going against nature. Do you think that's a natural characteristic given to all humans?"
"..."
"Nine out of ten top-tier mages are single. Do you know why?"
"Why?"
"The way mages form relationships is different from humans. Mages can't feel the emotion of love. They're inherently lacking that function. Those types are liberated from aging, so they have no reason to bear offspring and preserve their seed. They have no reason to find a mate."
"..."
"They might have attachment, friendship, bonds, but it's impossible for them to truly love others."
"That seems like a rather radical claim."
He was instilling anxiety in me. The two mages who had left big footprints in my life came to mind, but I tried hard to erase them.
Callios stared at me and spoke in a confident tone, "Do you think I'm trying to tease you? Don't worry, I have no desire to joke around while insulting my numerous mage comrades. No one has researched this, but I know. Because I already have countless samples in my head."
"Are mages who have entered into marriage frauds then?"
"Those are mixed-blood individuals pretending to be mages. Beings born as mages don't know how to love. The only thing those beings truly love is themselves. Sometimes they mistake bonds or friendships from childhood for love and act like lovers according to social context. But that's not love."
"..."
Callios glared at me with sharp eyes. It was an unpleasant sensation as if a venomous snake were crawling through my intestines.
"You, you've fallen in love with a mage before. Haven't you?"
And he saw through me with a frighteningly sharp insight. I thought I hadn't shown any signs of being shaken, but how did he figure it out?
A sardonic smile played on his lips. As if he had dealt with many humans like me before.
"Yes, my feelings towards Master Silveryn are like that."
"Yes, your master cares for and loves her disciple just the same. But that's not what I'm talking about."
He had seen through all my moves.
Callios' knife was rummaging through all my internal organs. The sharp blade tip was approaching my heart, stimulating my nerves.
"Didn't you call me here for training?"
"Your defense mechanism is starting to show. I didn't come here to torment you. This is a necessary process. Look at me straight."
"..."
Callios had a firm gaze tempered by experience, years, and self-confidence.
"I know what you want to say. You want to ask if that woman really loved you, don't you?"
I squeezed my eyes shut.
What did I want to hear? Honestly, I don’t know.
"Even if all mages are like that, there must be exceptions, right?"
"It's as rare as snow falling in the desert. If a handful of mixed human blood manifests, that is. The purer the mage's blood, the terribly lower the possibility. You want to believe that your partner was sincere at that time, don't you?"
"I have numerous pieces of evidence in my head too."
"Ha, they all say the same thing. It's so predictable! They whisper love as if they've met their one and only soulmate in the world, and then suddenly one day they leave as if they've become strangers. Cruelly and coldheartedly. Do you know why? They realized that their feelings weren't love! It's what poor souls deceived by mages always experience."
"...I know how to distinguish between truth and deception."
"Did she dedicate her life to you?"
"..."
"That's the only way to distinguish. Has a being that only loves itself ever risked its life for you? Has she ever abandoned everything and chosen you?"
"Occasions to risk one's life are rare. To prove that..."
"But you must have had the opportunity to confirm that."
"..."
I couldn't answer.
It felt like my heart was being covered in dark tar and melting away.
Has Lisa ever given up everything for me?
I didn't regret it even when I was stabbed in the stomach by the Wraith and thrown off a cliff. I gave everything and believed it was worth it.
But Lisa...
"If your partner left, it's one of two things. Either they still love you despite the breakup, or they never loved you in the first place."
"..."
"Looking at you, I think I know which one it is."
"..."
"It's better to sort out your remaining feelings quickly. That contaminated grease is not only sullying your potential but also the power of your magic sword. Come again tomorrow. Now the real training begins."
Callios left those words and vanished suddenly.
I couldn't focus. I couldn't see where I was or what was in front of me.
I wandered through my memories. I was visiting every Lisa in my memories one by one, asking.
Did you ever truly love me?
No answer was heard.
And now, I had no motivation or energy left to defend the Lisa of the past.