Chapter 34
I see why motel day-use rentals average three to four hours.
Even if you cut the sex off at thirty minutes, you still have to undress, wash, wash again, and get dressed, so it probably isn't as long as you'd think.
“It’s already ten.”
Frang said that while lying in the bath and eating fruit. Since it was included in the fee anyway, we had decided to eat it quickly. We still hadn't eaten breakfast after waking up.
“We need to leave with enough time to get to the gathering place for the request. We should start getting ready.”
I said that while lying in the bath and drinking wine. I had stopped Frang from drinking any, so I was working on my second glass alone.
Compared to the insane alcohol content of the Apkadi we had drunk yesterday, this cheap wine tasted like plain water. They say even soju tastes sweet after you've suffered enough, but I'd suffered like hell and the wine itself was so damn sweet that I couldn't even eat the fruit.
So I lay in the bath and drank while using the view of Frang's rear as my drinking snack. Watching a naked woman while drinking in a bathhouse gave me an indescribable sense of decadence. I understood why Hollywood stars built swimming pools in their homes.
“Assuming I repair Nord's robe and mask in my spare time after we get back from today's request… I already have requests booked for tomorrow and the day after, so I guess it'll take another two or three days?”
Frang counted out her schedule on her fingers. It seemed she was calculating how much time my request would take.
“You have work booked through the day after tomorrow? Just how many days in a row do you go out to work?”
“Who knows…? I haven't had a single day off since I came here.”
Frang tilted her head. Wasn't that a bit of a problem? I felt my expression stiffen slightly as I asked.
“…Just for reference, how long has it been since you came to Sargadis?”
“A month and… about four days?”
I nearly spat out my wine.
“You've been going out to work for a month without a break?! And as an adventurer?!”
When I asked in shock, Frang was startled too and asked back.
“Why, why? Is that strange?”
“Ah, no. Not exactly strange….”
Was adventurer work really easy? Most Iron-class adventurer jobs consisted of chores or labor that people didn't want to do themselves but had no one else to ask for.
To do that without taking a break for over a month… There was such a thing as being too diligent.
The fact that I had met Frang on both of the requests I'd taken wasn't a coincidence at all. She worked every day without resting in the narrow world of Iron-class adventurers at the Audumla Guild, so of course she had run into me twice in a row.
‘…But isn't that unavoidable if an Iron-class adventurer has to live from one day's wages to the next?’
“From the way you're talking, Nord, I guess you don't go out to work much?”
That was when I had forgotten even the sweetness of the wine in the face of bitter reality. Frang looked at my expression and asked curiously.
“I… receive a master's salary. As long as I submit my thesis on time and avoid being expelled, I don't have to worry about living expenses.”
I only had to regularly report on ruins that were discovered. As I've said repeatedly, almost no one expected the quality of a thesis from a master's-level field worker like me.
Field workers below the doctoral level were like the scouting Zerglings sent out early in a game of StarCraft.
‘They were deployed cheaply while gathering information about ruins all over the world.’
There were master's-level Zerglings like me all over the world.
They were scattered like fish traps. If they occasionally sent back something like an artifact, that was great, but even if they didn't, the locations and internal information of ruins discovered throughout the various regions flowed back to the university on their own.
Whenever a thesis arrived, the department inspected it, and all they had to do was select the results that seemed fairly promising and study those separately. It was a sweet deal.
If a field worker discovered a good ruin this way and sent in a thesis, it counted as an achievement for that worker. The most highly valued achievement was donating an artifact to the university, though.
On Earth, people below the doctoral level couldn't even write individual theses, so this was a relatively advantageous environment for me. The otherworld's terms “master's” and “doctorate” only worked as translations; their original meanings and nuances were somewhat different from those on Earth.
Frang stopped splashing and tilted her head.
“You live on a master's salary? How much do you get?”
“Two silvers a month.”
“Two silvers?!”
This time, it was Frang's turn to be shocked.
“Two, two silvers come in every month without fail?”
“Yeah. That's why I aimed for a field position from the beginning. So I could work as an adventurer without being strapped for money.”
“Ah, but apart from you, Frang, no one knows that I'm an archaeologist, right? So please don't go around telling other people.”
“Huh? Nord, you were hiding your degree? Why?”
“Because I wanted to avoid troublesome things.”
I explained the inner workings of the Adventurers' Guild and the connection between them and my linguistic knowledge. I told her how I'd be treated like a free translator and worked to the bone.
“Oh, really? So that's how it was. Hweee….”
For some reason, Frang couldn't keep her eyes still after hearing my explanation and fidgeted restlessly.
“What's wrong?”
“…No, it's just that. I feel pathetic for talking a little smugly to someone who could become a guild employee at any time.”
“…Aha. You mean what we talked about while bathing?”
“Yeah. Honestly, I was kind of proud of it back then….”
She was talking about last night. I remembered how spirited Frang's voice had sounded when she said she was going to reach Silver class and become a receptionist.
“What's wrong with that? Honestly, if I'd worked nonstop for a month to build up a career, I'd have been proud of it too, whatever it was.”
Back when I was a real, goddamn slave, I used to feel proud even when the laundry dried properly. Compared to that, going out to work as an adventurer for thirty days without a break was definitely something worth bragging about.
My consolation eased some of Frang's embarrassment. She rolled a grape across her palm, then suddenly asked:
【So, Nord, can you speak the languages of every country?】
It was the language of Germania, the Vikings' country.
【Not all of them—just most countries. More importantly, I'm even more surprised that you can speak Germania's language.】
【It's the language spoken in my homeland, so of course. But wow! You're really good! I think your pronunciation is even better than mine, Nord!】
【Hahaha. This is kind of embarrassing.】
I wasn't particularly happy about it since the ability came from my translation powers. It wasn't something I'd gained through my own effort, either.
‘Of course, I'll still put it to good use.’
The argument that one shouldn't use an ability because one gained it without effort was bullshit. If that logic held, then everyone in the world had been born because a sperm and an egg happened to meet by luck, so murder should be legal too.
After marveling for a moment, Frang asked again in Britannian.
“But then you can't reveal your identity at the Mages' Guild either, can you? If they find out who you are even with the robe on, it'll be a big problem.”
“That doesn't matter. An archaeologist's identification card is structured somewhat unusually, so I can use it without anyone pinning down my identity.”
I gave her another rough explanation, and after listening to me, Frang clapped her hands as though she had realized something.
“Come to think of it, Nord! You could read that writing we found in the ruins, right? Could those strange marks on the stone monument have been some kind of writing too?”
“Ah… right. Nice catch.”
I realized what I had forgotten to mention after hearing Frang's words: one very important fact.
“Um… Frang? Since it came up, there's something slightly problematic about the magic I got from that ruin.”
“What?”
“This magic is called ‘Beast Regression,’ and… my dick grew enormously because of it.”
“Y-your…?!”
Frang hesitated at my blunt wording before asking:
“So it wasn't originally scary-big?”
“That's right. You can think of it as having grown to more than twice its original size.”
When I confirmed it, Frang smiled awkwardly and said:
“Ah, I knew it…. No wonder it was ridiculously huge. Honestly, I was incredibly surprised.”
“…And yet you started licking it right away?”
I couldn't hold back any longer and asked. I was curious about the reason behind Frang's enthusiastic blowjob.
Frang's lips twitched before she lowered her head. Her ears were bright red.
“B-but I was taught that when a man is that big, you're supposed to wet it with saliva beforehand….”
“Who taught you that?”
“…………A book with slightly dirty content.”
“Heh heh. So for our Frang, a book about a woman licking and sucking a man's dick is only ‘slightly’ dirty?”
“……Shut uuuup….”
─Glug-glug-glug.
Frang dunked her face into the bath to avoid my pleased gaze. Well, there were certainly some novel ways to avoid someone's gaze.
Anyway, this was a good development for me. An inexperienced but sexually enthusiastic virgin girlfriend? It was the sort of thing one would expect to see only in an adult webtoon.
If I needlessly pointed it out and made her not want to give me a blowjob, I'd be the only one losing out. I decided to keep my mouth shut.
“Phoooh….”
Splash!
After diving like someone burying their face in a dish of water for a while, Frang lifted her head. I decided to attribute the obvious flush in her face to the heat of the hot bath and let it slide. I really was considerate.
Frang cleared her throat and returned to the subject.
“Ahem. Anyway, Nord. You and your… your….”
“Why not just say dick?”
“…Your dick—do you want it to get smaller?”
She had finally said it. My girlfriend was so cute. I answered while looking at my still fully erect Dickaconda.
“I don't particularly want it to get smaller, but we need to know why it ended up like this. We don't know what other problems might arise in the future.”
If I abandoned Frang and became Nord, an otherworldly female master's student, the only option left would be slug lesbian yuri same-sex marriage. I hated that horrible future.
“It would be nice if it could turn into something like the Ruyi Jingu Bang.”
A transforming dick. It could extend and contract freely, from a maximum of one meter down to a minimum of three centimeters, like a police baton. The beauty of adjustable length. If its thickness could also be adjusted from ankle-sized to pinky-sized, it would be perfect.
“The Ruyi Jingu Bang?”
“Oh, it's something like that. A staff that stretches and shrinks.”
“It stretches and shrinks? That sounds a little scary….”
“Really?”
Certainly, having a perfectly normal body with arms and legs while filming tentacle porn with nothing but one's dick would be a little alien-like.
“…Or should I learn transformation magic? I could change its size only during sex through partial transformation.”
“No! I'll work hard!”
“It'll break your uterus.”
This wasn't lowbrow sexual harassment or a dirty joke; it was a realistic concern. If her baby-making room got smashed to pieces, it would be difficult to find somewhere to get it treated. I'd heard that women on Earth were afraid to visit obstetrics and gynecology clinics because they feared being mistaken for pregnant women, but there weren't any obstetrics and gynecology clinics at all in this otherworld.
“Women usually prefer big ones, but there's a limit to everything. Obsessing over size and then running into problems during sex would defeat the whole purpose.”
Among virgins who only talked big, there were some who believed a dick had to be around fifteen centimeters to serve its purpose. If people like that took a six-inch punch from a proper black dick, they'd lose their vagina, fallopian tubes, and rectum for a triple score before being sent to the obstetrics ward with sirens blaring.
It was like how men said they liked big breasts but would never get the chance to touch natural-born, truly huge breasts like D or F cups.
‘Sexual fantasy and reality need to be properly distinguished.’
There might truly be people who were satisfied only by massive dicks, but making the girlfriend you love endure difficult sex for the sake of having sex with some random slut was something only an idiot would do.
Frang spoke then in a slightly gloomy tone.
“Are other women like that? Well… if that's what Nord says, it must be true.”
“…Huh?”
“…Hm?”
I found Frang's words strange, while Frang seemed to find my reaction strange in turn. She asked with an expression utterly free of suspicion:
“Isn't that what the people who slept with you told you? That it's difficult when it's too big?”
“…You’re my first too, you know?”
“………………………Huh?”
Frang froze like an ancient person realizing for the first time that the sun revolved around the Earth.
“Huh? Wha? But Nord! You were, like, bam, bam, bam! You did it so well!”
Frang awkwardly waggled her index and middle fingers. The fact that she used her index and middle fingers instead of her middle and ring fingers revealed her virginity all over again, but I was too distracted by the sweat running down my back to care.
“That’s……”
“I mean, Nord! You were so good, and you led me this way and that, so of course I assumed you had lots of experience!”
Frang spoke incoherently as though she were genuinely shocked—she seemed more shocked than at any other point that day.
‘F-fuck.’
As for me, I was so flustered by the situation that I forgot to control my expression. I could feel my facial muscles twisting grotesquely, like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that had been fitted together incorrectly.
…Let's be honest.
…All my technique—or what looked like technique—had been learned through studying.
‘Waaah….’
Actually, all of it had been like that.
Not just sex techniques, but every bit of related knowledge too!
Because, fuck, I hadn't wanted my ex-girlfriend to treat me like a virgin!
What was I supposed to do if, while I was obviously a virgin, I fumbled around unable to find the hole and finally managed to get it in, only for my ex-girlfriend to sigh and say, “Pull it out”?!!
If that had happened, I was sure I would have lost my erection right there and suffered erectile dysfunction!!!
So I had paid money for books at a damn bookstore!! I had even subscribed to Sim Ik-hyeon's NewTube and hit like while studying my ass off!!!!
And then I broke up with my ex-girlfriend without even managing to kiss her!!!!!
“I did have a girlfriend. We didn't have sex, but I did have one.”
“Th-then was what you did with me really your first time?”
“……Yep.”
“…K-kissing too? Don't tell me kissing too?”
“…………Yeeep.”
I confessed my virginity with the same feeling as a cannibalistic murderer confessing to a crime.
─I have lived a shameful life.
I don't know what an extrovert's life is like. I went to an all-boys middle school and high school, followed the veterinary-school track, and came to this otherworld, so I didn't see a pussy until I came here. Excluding cows, you fucker.
Before I even started practical training, some senior bastard showed me a close-up photo he'd taken of a cow's pussy. Fuck, I wasn't interested in that at all, you fossil bastard….
“I-I was Nord's first…… Nord's… Nord and me….”
Frang pressed both hands to her cheeks and kept muttering as though she might die of happiness. Feeling heat rise in my face, I said to her:
“No, come on! Why is that so important?!”
Was she happy that I was a virgin?
Was this the influence of those Germania Vikings?
Vikings were a hybrid of pirates and a navy. They were a military class belonging to a nation, but at the same time they were pirates who raided other countries.
Like every invading nation, Germania brainwashed ordinary citizens with propaganda along the lines of, “Most of our soldiers are virgins!!” So even people who weren't Vikings tended to value chastity by following their example. Naturally, they wouldn't value it more than sex if they weren't actual Vikings, though.
But that was Germania. Nidavellir, the dwarves' country, was Germania's neighbor, not its colony. I hadn't expected such a strong cultural similarity to exist.
Fuck, I never expected those damn virginity-obsessed Seven Warlords to harm my life. Why did you spread your shitty Valhalla culture through Nidavellir and all the way to my girlfriend, you bastards!!
“In Britannia and back home, a man being a virgin isn't important at all! It's something to be ashamed of, if anything!”
“Eheh… But I can't help being happy!”
Even watching Frang get excited over our exchange of virginities, I couldn't empathize with her at all.
“Ah, this is so fucking embarrassing!! I'm gonna die!!”
In the end, I followed Frang's example and dunked my head into the bath.
─Glug-glug-glug-glug-glug.