Chapter 50
A face cuter than a cute pet's.
A girl with the pure, beautiful looks of someone straight out of a movie.
…Breasts that are surprisingly not so meager.
If you ask who goes around with a reputation so overwhelmingly full of praise that it's almost embarrassing…,
Me.
中澤雛実。
In Korean…,
Nakazawa Hinami.
I'm twenty years old.
Female.
Occupation: currently working as an idol.
At present…,
I'm floating through the air after finishing an overseas shoot.
“Hinami. Stop shaking your legs and sit still for a while. You're noisy.”
“Why, Jia-chan? There's no one nearby, so I can do whatever I want.”
By the time I realized it, I'd long since forgotten how many times I'd flown since coming to Korea.
The first time I came here, I flew economy.
The first time I returned to Japan, I splurged on business class.
I returned to my hometown—which was neither city nor countryside—in trendy clothes, burrowed into the kotatsu, and only then realized that people in my home country could look up my name, too.
…Ahaha, those stupid bitches.
If I'd known I'd become this successful, you would've treated me like royalty back then, right?
Well, I don't have enough time on my hands now to do something petty like revenge.
If you'd looked after me back then, you could've gotten some of the crumbs from my Korean success.
Idiots.
You can tell just by looking at my face.
I'm way beyond the level where people like you could bully me out of jealousy.
But even those thrilling, heart-swelling emotions became so dulled after repeating themselves for years that I couldn't even find them interesting anymore.
By now, I'm so used to business class that I wonder how I ever managed to doze off in economy.
No matter how many people comment and shower me with likes on social media, it feels perfectly natural.
Whether the MV we went all the way overseas to shoot on location gets ten million views or a hundred million,
all I can think is, Oh, I see~.
I don't understand why they still make me do vocal training until my throat hurts when I hardly ever have to sing live anyway.
Jia-chan's good at that, so they can make her do it, idiots.
Besides, I don't see why I have to go out of my way to be polite to entertainers from this country whom I'll never see again.
Whether I live here or return to my home country after retiring, I won't be appearing on television anymore.
I just want to enjoy a free life as soon as possible. I have no intention of playing around with lumps of flesh that worship me until the day I die.
“I can't sleep because of you. I'm so tired I could die.”
“What do you mean, you can't sleep because of me?”
“Crazy⋯. ⋯No, never mind. I'll put on earplugs.”
With such grubby thoughts for an idol, I sometimes wish I could adopt an aloof concept like Jia.
Why does she get popular even when she says, ‘…Wipe that sweat off with a handkerchief.’ with an expression of genuine disgust?
I tried imitating her once, but thanks to fans who cooed that everything I did was cute, I failed spectacularly.
…Jeez, what's so cute about me?
I'm a C-cup, too.
I may be short, but… my legs are long.
I know there are more than one or two bastards among the fans, their eyes blazing as they try to peek at my undershorts.
I also know perfectly well that the guys who act so saintly at autograph events go home and masturbate while watching my fancams.
Of course, I have no intention of acting like I know,
not even a liiiiiittle bit.
I'm an idol, after all.
Pure and innocent Hinami-chan,
…Ugh.
“Eek, you're even swearing at your older sister, who was born a whole month before you. Jia-chan, you're too mean.”
“Take off the blindfold and earplugs and I'll kill you, so don't touch me.”
Anyway.
That cute idol
…actually spends every day watching anime at home, ordering sexy clothes whenever she sees some,
trying them on, taking cute selfies, then killing time by playing with her nipples and clitoris—if that got out,
wouldn't the fans who keep tossing their dirty money at me despise me?
A pseudo-romance with fans is still romance.
I have to pretend otherwise until my contract ends.
You absolutely can't survive in this industry if you don't know how to manage your fans.
This is the kind of place where even someone as cute as me gets picked apart over every little thing and buried if she doesn't have a fandom.
A prime example is
the voluptuous senior who's also my junior, standing beside me.
“Saying I'll kill you for taking it off—isn't that a little too lewd?”
“Hinami, do you have nothing but thoughts like that in your head?”
“No? When I get back, all I want is soju and samgyeopsal.”
“Don't think about drinking; focus on taking care of yourself. We're still going to be busy after we get back.”
Ah, of course, I don't mean Jia was the one who got buried.
I mean she buried someone else.
The PD who kept hitting on her before her debut.
The nameless male idol who wouldn't give up even after she put up an impenetrable wall.
The baseball player who supposedly picked a fight with her older sister.
The eldest member of another agency's girl group, who bullied Jia's friend.
And plenty of other strange people, like sasaeng fans.
Just the ones I know about number more than I can count on both hands.
How she did it…
I don't know.
Our agency is a big one, so maybe they managed to bury them all somehow.
The boss is a bit of a scumbag, but since we're big earners, he treats us incredibly well, so maybe he granted a small favor or two.
If not, maybe it was Jia's father? She said he's the general manager of a baseball team.
Jia keeps making excuses that it's the owner who's rich, not the general manager.
Honestly, I don't even know what the difference is.
After hearing what she did to the baseball player who came on to her older sister, I don't trust her at all.
“Ah, getting nagged by Jia-chan makes me crave a vape. …If I smoke it on the plane, they'll arrest me, right?”
“How many times have I told you to quit that….”
“It doesn't even contain nicotine, so it's just vapor. It isn't bad for you! Jia, if you tried it, it'd really set the mood⋯.”
“Stop whispering nonsense and just go the hell to sleep! We're busy tomorrow, too. Before I take back my offer to let you stay the night, shut your mouth. Please.”
“Jia-chan. If you shout on the plane, they'll arrest you. Calm down, calm down.”
“⋯Phew.”
Her place is a super-high-rise luxury apartment, too.
Isn't she secretly smoking while looking out over the Han River and saying, ‘Heh heh…, idiots….’ to herself?
…I do that sometimes.
I put a nicotine-free vape between my lips,
and when I look down from the balcony with an unnecessarily meaningful smile, I get a feeling that's hard to describe.
How should I put it…,
It feels good, like I'm betraying my fans' expectations and flexing on them.
If I also had a wallpaper showing men and women in the middle of an orgy, I could shoot a whole movie right away, but unfortunately, I don't have many friends.
If Jia ever got a boyfriend, I'd like to invite him to my place at least once.
Then I'd install a camera in the room I lent them and secretly film them.
Would popular idol Seo XX have sex at her coworker's house or not?
You're curious too, right?
Before that, I'm really curious what kind of man she'd date, too.
…If possible, I hope he'd have an incredible physique.
What was it?
Like Jia's older sister's boyfriend, whom I saw briefly last time?
“Jia-chan, are you asleep?
“⋯.”
Ah, of course, I have no intention of stealing Jia-chan's boyfriend.
Rather than me stealing Jia-chan's boyfriend,
it would somehow feel even more depraved if my boyfriend got his hands on Jia, too.
…Though first, the question is whether a suitable candidate will even appear.
Oh, I sounded completely Korean just now.
Vocabulary really does grow quickly.
“Seo Jiaaa.”
“⋯.”
In that sense, I keep picking on Jia, who has an image dozens of times more intellectual than I do, even though I'm smart enough to speak two and a half languages.
The reason is…,
Inferiority complex?
I feel it every time I look at her,
and I feel it whenever I touch her, too,
yet I keep thinking that she doesn't seem Korean even compared to me, a Japanese person.
You don't even look Asian, you bastard.
Your figure is just too unfair.
My birthday is a month earlier.
Yet you're nearly fifteen centimeters taller than me.
Our hips aren't even comparable.
Your breasts, too…
Ah, although Jia's older sister was much bigger when I saw her last time.
That doesn't mean Jia is small by any means.
Sometimes, when I watch her dancing onstage, I end up feeling defeated as a woman.
I can feel in my bones that I'll never beat that goddess of a woman.
…Still, whatever.
Sexy is sexy,
and cute is cute—there's always demand for cuteness, too.
Our popularity is pretty similar, too….
…Ewwww….
Why on earth is our popularity about the same?
Jia should be dozens of times more popular.
“⋯Ye-eun, eek!”
“Don't poke my side. I'm really tired.”
“Okay, okay. Sowwy, sowwy.”
In the end, only after pressing Jia's rage button and taking a satisfyingly thorough beating could I wrap up our banter.
Ah, I'm tired. So tired.
I wish I could have a normal-person role like Jia.
Pretending to be innocent and carefree every day is tiring, too.
Once I get off the plane, I'll have to be cute and pretend to be cute again,
and go back to being Hinami, showered with affection and adoring looks from my fans?
…Even though the MV scenes we shot overseas were actually packed with subtle sex appeal.
I don't know whose genius idea it was to put me in a nurse's uniform, but whoever it was, I want to praise them.
When you think about it, idols are nurses, too. Nurses.
…Nurses who soothe the ugly sexual appetites of fans who've grown ridiculously old.
Heh heh….
Disgusting.
Seriously.