Chapter 51
April 5.
Night.
Korea at last.
“I'm back~”
I step into Jia's place. Even after sleeping so soundly on the plane, Jia still looks exhausted.
She rudely kicks off her socks and flops onto the sofa.
“Someone else's house…, no, never mind.”
Jia realizes there's no point in pointing it out and doesn't get angry even after seeing it.
She used to nag a lot, but lately she's gotten boring.
Well, with her schedule so packed, she has every right to be worn out.
“I'm going to shower and go to bed, so if you're tired too, Hinami, go sleep in that room. We have schedules tomorrow too, so don't stay up too late.”
“'Kay, 'kay. I can go to bed on my own without you nagging.”
I follow Jia with my eyes as she casually strips and heads straight into the bathroom, then suddenly have an idea and take out my phone to snap a selfie.
I add a caption about being suitably exhausted and sleepy to death, then upload it to Instagram.
As comments and likes pour in the moment I post it, I stare at them blankly; sometimes I lose all sense of reality.
I realized it after our last concert, but numbers like tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands aren't numbers you can count with your eyes.
So many people—enough that you couldn't take them all in at a glance even if they huddled together as densely as bean sprouts—react to one short little post of mine like this.
…It's amazing and thrilling.
Being an idol is a damn annoying and irritating job, but
this one thing is pretty great.
“Haa….”
But for every good thing, there are hundreds of bad ones.
When I see guys sending truly bizarre sexual harassment through DMs, I lose all faith in humanity.
The morons who openly say they want to have sex with me or touch my breasts can simply be sued.
The ones who phrase it obliquely enough to be just shy of actionable are the most annoying.
Even when I block them, they keep changing their usernames and coming back.
What the hell is wrong with those guys?
…Of course, I do make use of them sometimes.
To those fucking morons…,
while sending them a fuck you.
…when I imagine making a face no idol should ever make at a man who's packed with muscle and over 190 centimeters tall.
It's surprisingly fun to masturbate with them as my audience.
It completely relieves the stress they cause me, too.
“Hinami.”
“Oh, Jia, are you done showering?”
I was having yet another decidedly un-idol-like fantasy, and time flew by before I knew it.
Jia comes out after deliberately putting on nothing but a bra and panties, vigorously shaking her hair dry, and points me toward the bathroom.
“Yeah. You should shower too if you want. Your clothes are in the suitcase anyway.”
“Okay.”
“Then I'm going in to sleep, so turn off the lights. Go sleep in the room next door. There's a bed there too.”
“Roger~”
I do think there's no need to cover up when we've already seen each other in every state imaginable while living in the dorms, though.
But even I can understand, in my own way; if I had a body like that, I'd instinctively go around covering it up too.
To be honest,
…there are just so many perverts who pore over every inch of our photos and practically lick them clean.
Especially the hips.
The breasts.
The thighs.
And apparently even Jia gets hit on by women from time to time.
Scary.
“Haa….”
I enter the steam-filled bathroom, throw off my clothes, and let the water beat down on me.
…Even Jia's body wash smells sexy.
I should buy some of this too.
It's so much fun kicking away handsome male idols who look like ikemen when they try to seduce me.
Idiots.
How dare guys prettier than the oldest member of our group set their sights on me.
When they have no intention of quitting being idols and dating me.
You effeminate pretty boys, you chicken-shit bastards.
Hee-hee.
“…Sexy. Way too sexy.”
As I spread the baby-powder-scented body wash over myself, I recall the days we lived in the dorm.
…Jia was really, really, really sexy back then too.
There was no shortage of people making moves on her.
Of course, if I were into girls, I think I would've seriously pounced on her at least once.
Though with those abs, she would've sent me flying with one hard kick.
Whenever I search the internet, I think I understand why ‘Today's Seo Jia Legend.gif’ keeps popping up whenever I'm bored.
The view count is suspiciously high compared to the comments, too.
…Of course, ‘Today's Hinami Legend.gif’ has a disgustingly high view count too.
“Phew….”
What is it about these skinny thighs that makes them pant over them every single day?
No, I understand breasts. Breasts.
Mine are decent enough to be useful if I push them together, too.
I kind of understand the hips and butt as well.
My waist is so thin that they look relatively wide, right?
But the guys who get horny looking at these delicate thighs and upper arms….
…Honestly, they creep me out because they seriously make me question their sexual preferences.
To begin with, most of my fans have been fans of me since I was a minor.
Is it really normal for them to huff and pant while looking at a high-school girl's thin arms and thighs?
Huh?
“…Yeah….”
…Yeah.
That's right.
Disgusting is disgusting,
but I can't help them getting horny for me, right?
My skin is incredibly, incredibly pale too.
All the baby fat has disappeared from my face, so now I have the face of a fully mature woman.
My breasts are fairly big, too, considering you can see my ribs, right?
I may be a bit ugly, but they're bigger than our tall, good-dancing oldest member's.
They actually bounce a bit when I dance.
…Still, the ones who grit their teeth and pretend not to notice are kind of disgusting.
“……Ugh….”
And my voice is insane too, isn't it?
Articles have called it a voice that melts men's hearts several times.
Because I originally wanted to become a voice actress.
I put it on deliberately, though, you know?
Singing is…,
the machine handles about half of it, so there's no problem.
“Phew…, pfft-hehehe….”
I giggle as I carefully wash all the dirty parts with suds.
Ah, this is so funny. So funny.
It's hilarious that I'm staying over at a coworker's house and making lewd noises.
…And my fans, who worship me like a goddess and tremble as they call me ‘Hinami is an angel….’, are so ridiculous.
Ah, I wonder what those idiots would think if they saw me masturbating.
Would they get incredibly aroused and masturbate like they do when looking at pictures of my undershorts?
Or would they tremble while denying reality, insisting that couldn't possibly be true?
…What if I had sex with a man who was incredibly well-built and had a dick as big as the ones in porn?
Could they still deny it?
Those idiots?
“Haha…, haa…, hehe….”
Beaming.
The smile I only put on at fan signings.
I make that face inside an empty shower stall while pressing hard on my clit again and again, making absolutely sure no moans escape.
Ahahaha….
Those idiots with no sense of reality must be worried sick, eyes blazing, about which pretty-boy bastard will touch this tiny, adorable little clit-chan.
Or the idiots who have a better grasp on reality than those guys but only pretend to be cool will desperately dismiss it, telling themselves that idols are people too and must have had sex anyway.
Ah, what a shame.
The reality-blind idiots were closer to the truth.
Of course….
It's only a problem because I haven't found a decent owner,
but I don't particularly plan to protect it with my life, you know?
“Nnngh…! …Haa…. I made too much noise….”
Even though Jia is asleep in the room beyond the hallway, making those nasal noises in someone else's house was dangerous.
I set aside the thrilling, forbidden pleasure that felt like it might burn my brain and adjust my pace.
Hehe….
Maybe because I'd spent a while masturbating in cosplay, doing it completely naked for once feels fresh.
Come to think of it, I've been masturbating way too intensely lately.
The last time I wore the school uniform I used to wear in Japan, it was especially intense.
I tied a cardigan around my waist, just like the picture Jia uploaded to her Instagram after shooting the MV.
The bitchy girls who dressed exactly like that when we were in middle school bullied me terribly.
They used to hang around with strange-looking men who had buck teeth and acne popping out everywhere.
They were idiots through and through.
Throwing away the most important thing a woman has on those short, shabby men.
I bought a dildo too, but I only suck on it; I never actually use it.
Because…,
I'm an idol, after all?
“Hehe, …Nngh, hnn….”
Even an angelic idol can hole up alone at home, close the door to a soundproof booth, and moan as loudly as she wants.
When I sucked on my clit with a WoXanizer, my hips lifted right off the floor and my neck ended up hurting.
Ah, that was seriously dangerous.
I was half-conscious; if some pervert had snuck in while I was sprawled out, I might have been raped, you know?
Of course…,
if he were ugly and had a small dick, I would've forced myself up and kicked him away.
Hee-hee.
“You idiots, seriously, ahahaha….”
Thinking about it that way, maybe that's why Dad got dumped too.
Honestly, as his daughter, I know my dad's a very kind man.
But objectively speaking, Dad is pretty ugly and short, right?
For a bad-tempered woman like my mother, of course a foreigner whose name she didn't even know would have appealed more than Dad.
Thanks to that, I was born with skin this pale, legs much longer than my torso,
and looks beautiful enough to shine even without makeup.
That was somehow found out, which wrecked the family and got me bullied, though.
If I'd been born from Dad and Mom living happily together, I'd have been an ordinary Japanese woman in the 140-centimeter range with buck teeth, just like Mom.
If all I had to put up with were those minor troubles, then maybe I ought to be grateful she cheated, since this overwhelming beauty has been steadily filling my bank account.
…No. Honestly, I'm not grateful.
If she was going to cheat, she should've married a tall man in the first place, that stupid bitch.
“Ahahaha…, seriously…. This is hopeless.”
Feeling the traces of Mom stamped into my genes, I keep thinking about the fans who dote on me like crazy.
…Ah, there really are a disgusting number of people who look exactly like Dad.
Of course, Dad's was agape love, while theirs is eros, so they're completely different.
I think I understand why I just can't grow fond of my fans.
If people who look exactly like Dad look at me sexually,
it's disgusting, right?
No, that won't do. No, no.
Even if I met a man who was only a good person, I'd obviously cheat on him.
The man suited to this tiny, cute, rotten-hearted Hinami would be…,
Extremely tall,
Just as rotten-tempered,
…with a huge dick too,
someone who could get a daughter taller and better built than me pregnant,
that's the kind of man I need.
“…Haa, nngh…! …Haaa…. Haa…. Haha….”
Unfortunately…,
among the fans I've met,
there hasn't been anyone like that.
…I'm sorry.
Pfft-hehehe….