I Pinched You to Make It Hurt, Idiot.

Sixth grade. Middle school was just around the corner.

It was usually considered the second growth spurt, an age when some kids were already starting to get deeper voices.

…In my case, I was a year or two behind the others, so my voice didn't break until around my first year of high school, but some people hit it early.

Unlike back when I was a boy and hit puberty late, after I was possessed as Kim Siyeon, my chest had already started swelling.

‘Do breasts normally get this big at thirteen…?’

They weren't huge, exactly, but they were bigger than I'd expected.

Looking at my chest, now so big that I couldn't even bring my elbows together, I turned away with a dissatisfied look.

I knew in my head that I'd become a girl, but seeing things like this made it feel like I really had become one, and it unsettled me.

Even though I thought I'd fully come to terms with my situation, whenever something actually happened, it felt like a reminder that “the male Siyeon” was truly gone.

Of course, that wasn't the only thing making me feel unsettled right now.

“Seojin, want some?”

“Huh? Oh, thanks!”

“…….”

Because of one idiot beside me who was being handed chocolates left and right on Valentine's Day.

The girls kept coming over one after another to give him chocolates, and every time I saw him accept them with a bright smile, I felt worse.

“…Ow!”

“I pinched you so it would hurt, idiot.”

I pinched the back of his hand in mild protest, and only then did Han Seojin look at me instead of the girl.

The girl in front of us frowned, but seeing her expression actually made me feel more at ease.

‘As if you could just take this idiot away from me.’

I'd never even dated anyone in elementary school, so I wasn't about to let this idiot start dating before me.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

“If we're late, we'll just eat later, idiot. Let's hurry to the cafeteria.”

“Obviously, if we're late, we'll eat later—ow, ow! Th-thanks for the chocolate!”

“Y-yeah….”

After I went so far as to take his hand and lead him away, just to make sure she got the message, I couldn't help smiling with satisfaction when the girl was left looking dazed.

Anyone but that one idiot could see her intentions, and I didn't like it.

…And.

‘Wh-when should I give it to him…?’

I still hadn't gotten to give him my chocolate, and I didn't like those girls giving him theirs before I did.

I couldn't stop the girls in front of him from giving him chocolates while I was in the bathroom, but now that I'd seen it, I had to stop them.

This was a matter of pride.

I fidgeted with the chocolate in my pocket, then worried it might melt and took it out while making sure the idiot didn't see.

‘…Thank goodness, it hasn't melted.’

Unlike the other girls, who just bought chocolate and gave it to him, I'd melted it myself, bought molds, and let it set.

The amount of effort I'd put in was on a whole different level from theirs.

…Well, truthfully, I had no one to give it to except Han Seojin, and I had so much free time that I made it while trying to kill time.

Anyway, I still hadn't given him the chocolate I'd put so much effort into, or the letter I'd worked hard to write…!

‘B-by the way, do people usually just give chocolate on Valentine's Day?’

The anime I'd watched definitely had them give letters, too…?

I didn't even have to look far—when I got chocolate for the last time, it came with a letter, so why did these girls have the nerve to go after him without bringing anything else?

“Hm? What's that behind you?”

“Eek?!”

“…Huh.”

As I kept fiddling with the chocolate, lost in thought, Han Seojin suddenly asked right in my ear what I had behind me, and I nearly fell over in surprise…!

I glanced behind me and confirmed the chocolate and letter were safe, then let out a sigh of relief and was about to say something when—

“Huh? Chocolate? Who are you giving it to?”

“-?!!”

Han Seojin suddenly came right up behind me and saw the chocolate and letter…!

“Ah, uh, ah…?”

“Huh? There's a letter, too? Who did you write it to…?”

“I-I don't know, idiot!”

He even asked who I'd written it to, as if he were trying to kill me with embarrassment. Unable to take it anymore, I threw the chocolate and letter at that idiot, then trembled and headed to the cafeteria by myself.

I-I did it…!

==========

“…Did I tease her too much?”

Watching Kim Siyeon, who usually went with him, head off alone looking angry, Han Seojin wondered if he'd gone too far this time—but since she usually let this much slide, he looked at her in confusion.

‘Well, she didn't seem actually angry.’

When she was really angry, Kim Siyeon didn't act like that. She'd go completely expressionless and call him in a low voice: “Han Seojin.”

Remembering the chill that had run down his spine that one time, Han Seojin rubbed the back of his neck, trying to shake off the feeling, then picked up the chocolate and letter Kim Siyeon had just thrown.

He glanced at the letter addressed “[To Han Seojin.]” and the pile of chocolates in various shapes, including hearts and stars, and chuckled.

She always called him an idiot and brushed him off, but she made her chocolate stand out from the rest so much that anyone could tell it was from her. It was more than enough to make Han Seojin smile.

‘The chocolate… she'd get mad if I ate it, right?’

Remembering how Kim Siyeon always scolded him whenever he tried to eat chocolate before a meal, saying, “You should only eat chocolate after your meal!” he carefully tucked the chocolate into his pocket and gently opened the envelope.

He got letters every year on Valentine's Day or Pepero Day, but he couldn't help getting excited whenever he opened one.

[To Han Seojin.]

[I really, really hope you don't read this, and I really don't want to write it, either, so if you don't like it, you can just not read it. If you want to stop reading, you can stop.]

Seeing that familiar opening line, he remembered the time he'd actually stopped halfway through reading one and how downcast she'd been for days afterward, so he kept reading.

[You're fourteen now. We saw each other over Lunar New Year, and we're probably still together right now as you read this, but it's always been fun and nice having you as a friend. We're about to start middle school, and if we keep playing around like we do now, you won't be able to keep your grades up.]

Her letters were always written in a completely haphazard way.

Since the subject of the letter jumped around so much, it had been hard to get used to at first, but he'd adapted completely by now, to the point that a letter that stuck to one topic felt unfamiliar.

[…Well, if things really seem dangerous, I'll help you. So don't worry, idiot. Always be careful. You're already stupid enough, so don't go getting hurt on top of that. I put extra effort into the chocolate I gave you this time, so don't gobble it all down at once.]

He flinched.

Though they were just words on a page, the letter's contents made him tremble a little, as if she'd just run her hand over his head.

…Of course, she had watched him gobble up all the chocolate right in front of her just last Valentine's Day, so she was probably worried he'd do it again.

[Thanks for always being close to me, idiot. I always lo<-don't read this]

‘…I can't take it anymore. I'll just eat one right now.’

In the end, after seeing so many adorable sides of her, he couldn't resist the chocolate. He secretly opened the envelope and took out a heart-shaped piece to eat.

A familiar taste—the plain, mass-produced chocolate she liked so much.

He thought it tasted sweeter than usual today.

==========

“Ugh….”

I feel awful.

Maybe it was because of what happened yesterday, but I'd had a nightmare, and even after groaning and opening my eyes, I couldn't quite make myself sit up.

The pain, like I'd been hit in the stomach several times, and the heat between my legs let me wake up feeling awful first thing in the morning.

‘What on earth is this…?’

I'd been living as a woman for nine years, but nothing like this had ever happened to me before. With no clue what was going on, I forced myself up and looked down toward my legs.

There was some kind of damp liquid on the bed, and I worried I'd wet myself, but I also wondered if it was strange for wetting the bed to hurt this much.

Even though it was morning, the curtains were drawn and I couldn't see properly, so I turned on the light to get a better look. And then—

There was blood, trailing from the bed to where I was.

“A-ah…?”

For a moment, my mind stopped working. Then, after somehow managing to think it through, I finally understood what was happening to me.

‘M-my period…?’

My period.

Of course, I'd thought that I'd get my period someday, but I never expected it to happen so suddenly. I wasn't even properly prepared, and it was hard to accept what was happening right now.

“Siyeon…? What on earth—”

“M-Mom—sob….”

“S-Siyeon?!”

In the end, the moment I saw Mom, I burst into tears from sheer misery.