Chapter 12
“S-Sob….”
“C-Come on, calm down, Siyeon. There, there—”
“S-S-stop… *sniff*….”
The moment I saw Mom, the sobs burst out of me and showed no sign of stopping.
It felt like I’d crossed a line I could never uncross, and the fact that the ‘male Siyeon’ I’d vaguely felt was still there was truly, truly over suddenly hit me all at once.
It was as if the blood coming from between my legs was telling me that from now on, I had to keep living as ‘Kim Siyeon, the girl.’
Now that the thought, ‘What if I turn back to normal, even now?’ had vanished completely, all I could do was cling to Mom and sob miserably.
It made me sad that I couldn’t do anything, even as my stomach throbbed with pain and hot liquid gushed out from between my legs.
“Mom, Mom….”
“There, there, Siyeon. Mom’s right here. Come on, calm down, okay?”
“Mom, I-I hurt… It hurts so much….”
Even though I kept thinking I shouldn’t make Mom worry as I watched her grow more and more flustered, I just kept crying and calling for her.
==========
“Have you calmed down?”
“…Yes.”
After a long while, once I’d cried as much as I could, Mom gave me some hot chocolate. I kept sniffling as I savored its warmth.
…Blood was still coming from between my legs, but I’d put on a pad to contain it for now.
I didn’t know how to put one on and was fumbling around, so Mom had put it on for me herself. I couldn’t help feeling grateful and sorry at the same time.
‘I-I checked the time just now, and it was five in the morning….’
Had she gotten up this early because of me? The guilt was so overwhelming that I felt like crying again.
“I-I’m sorry for waking you up….”
“Hm? No, it’s okay! I’m actually glad you leaned on me, Siyeon. It’s good to be mature, but there are things only kids can do while they’re young.”
As she said that and hugged me tightly, the tears that had just been threatening to come out started welling up again.
“Mom’s always here, so call me whenever you need me, okay?”
“S-Sob… Mom….”
“…H-Huh? Is that something to cry over? S-Siyeon, come on, stop crying!”
We always hugged each other tightly whenever Mom came home, but I’d never realized a hug could be this moving.
My stomach still throbbed, and I was still feeling down, but with Mom here, it seemed like I’d get through this without any major problems.
“…By the way, when is our Siyeon going to start dating Seojin?”
“W-What?!”
…Until Mom suddenly brought up Han Seojin.
I was so startled by the sudden change of topic—and especially by her asking when I’d start dating Han Seojin—that I accidentally bit my tongue.
I grimaced for a moment because I’d bitten my tongue, then quickly turned to Mom and stared at her as if demanding to know what on earth she’d heard.
“Well, I thought you two were dating last time, but it turned out you weren’t.”
“W-Why would I date that idiot?!”
“Hm? Well, of course—”
You like Seojin, don’t you?
Mom said it so confidently that I was at a loss for words, and my head grew so hot I forgot how miserable I’d felt about my period just moments ago.
“N-No, I don’t!”
What did she mean, I liked that idiot…?!
No matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t imagine dating that moron.
Even if we did date, I was sure I’d get so frustrated with him that I’d burst. Yeah, I was sure of it.
And in the first place, I didn’t even see him as a romantic partner.
Bluntly speaking, even if he started dating another girl—
‘…….’
…Let’s not think about that.
The moment I imagined another girl standing beside Han Seojin instead of me, my chest ached and my mood soured.
Honestly, I’d be more at ease if that idiot and I both stayed single for the rest of our lives.
I thought that as I argued back at Mom, but it was frustrating how she just looked at me with an expression that said, ‘That’s what you think~.’
I tried to gulp down my hot chocolate to shake off the frustration, but it was too hot, so I gave up and went back to sleep with Mom instead.
==========
‘Ugh, I feel awful….’
Normally, Mom would tell me not to go to school if I wasn’t feeling well, and she did today, too.
But since it was graduation day, I couldn’t skip it, so I had no choice but to go to school feeling miserable.
Mom had given me a crash course on how to put on a pad, and I had two spare ones in my bag, but I was going home soon anyway. I wondered if I really needed to bring that many.
“Siyeon! Over here!”
“I know, idiot.”
I was in a slightly bad mood and snapped at him, but I didn’t like how he just grinned cheerfully as if nothing was wrong.
…It felt unfair that he was so excited all by himself while I was hurting this much.
Well, now that everything was over, I wondered what good it would do to think that way.
Still, I couldn’t help feeling that it was unfair.
Even though it was graduation day, Han Seojin’s parents were on a business trip, and Mom couldn’t get out of work, so it was just Seojin and me there.
…Mom had given me 50,000 won for us to get lunch together, but considering how much that idiot ate, I wasn’t sure it would be enough.
“Want to take a picture?”
“…No.”
I flatly refused Han Seojin when he asked to take a picture, then grimaced as I lightly rubbed my stomach, which was starting to hurt again.
Obviously, I wouldn’t look pretty in a picture in this state.
It was a special occasion, so if I was going to take a picture, I wanted to look pretty. I didn’t feel like taking one in a situation like this.
“…Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Even though I’m begging you like this?”
“…Y-Yeah.”
“Even though I’m asking you to please take just one picture with me?”
“…….”
Seriously, I said no.
As the idiot kept begging me to take a picture with him, it got harder and harder to refuse.
I-I really won’t look pretty in it.
Especially since, even though I was in a bad mood, Han Seojin was incredibly handsome. If I so much as frowned, the contrast between us would be obvious.
“Is your stomach hurting?”
“…You figured that out just now, idiot?”
With me in a bad mood the whole time and rubbing my stomach, Seojin seemed to have roughly figured out what was going on.
Since other people were watching, I was grateful he didn’t say something like ‘that time of the month’ or ‘my period’ and just said my stomach hurt.
…Seriously, he’s an idiot, but it’s nice that he’s perceptive at times like this.
I was a little disappointed to see his usual smile turn serious, but I was thinking that was pretty nice in its own way, when—
“There—”
“?!”
The idiot suddenly put his hand on my stomach, making me startle and jerk back.
Then he began moving his hand, gently rubbing my stomach. It felt kind of strange…
And thinking about how other people might be watching made me incredibly embarrassed.
“W-What… What are you doing, i-idiot…?”
“Hm? I’m helping you get better faster.”
I asked in a slightly trembling voice why he was doing that, and Han Seojin answered as if it were obvious.
…That’s what I mean! Why are you rubbing it yourself to make it better?!
“You know how people say things like ‘healing hands’? I’m helping you get better faster so you’ll take a picture with me!”
“You… You’re such a, such a moron….”
Seriously, does he have no sense of embarrassment?
He holds my hand, strokes my head, and hugs me—though I was the one who did that…
Anyway, it was ridiculous how confidently he did things I couldn’t even imagine, but somehow it felt strangely nice.
It means we’re close enough to do this sort of thing without hesitation, right?
“…Heh, hehe.”
Thinking about it made me feel so much better that I finally smiled for the first time today, after frowning the whole time. Strangely, my stomach seemed to stop hurting, too.
…That didn’t mean I wasn’t embarrassed, but this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, so I could at least pretend I didn’t mind.
….
W-Wait a second. You can’t move your hand that far down…!
“S-Stop! I’ll take a picture with you, so g-get your hand off me!”
“Hm? Oh, okay.”
I stopped his hand just as it was about to reach somewhere really dangerous, and finally agreed to take a picture with him.
Seriously, if he’d done it on purpose, that’d be one thing, but that idiot had been looking at my face, not my stomach, so I couldn’t even say anything…
Han Seojin went to find someone to take our picture. I watched him absentmindedly by myself, then quietly put my hand back on my stomach.
…His hand felt nice.
Maybe because his hand was big and warm, or maybe because even if his reasons were self-serving, he’d done it for me.
The unpleasant feeling was much weaker than before, and the pain seemed to have gone away, too.
…It’s amazing that his ‘healing hands’ actually made it stop hurting.
‘Is it because he’s the protagonist…?’
Unlike back then, when he was just a little kid, he was starting to look like a dependable man. My heart fluttered strangely as jealousy welled up in me because I’d wanted to become like that, too.
…What’s the point of being jealous now? I’m completely a woman.
“Could you take a picture of me with the girl over there?”
“Sure.”
“Yeah! Siyeon, let’s take a picture!”
“…Okay.”
At some point, Han Seojin had come back to my side and taken my hand with the same warm hand that had just rubbed my stomach.
…Well, he’s going to be with me anyway, so there’s no need to be jealous or anything.
After all, this idiot listens really well to everything I tell him.
“Did you eat the chocolate?”
“Yeah.”
“The letter?”
“I read it all!”
“Good job, idiot.”
Thinking that, this time I linked arms with him instead of just holding hands, sticking closer to him as if to reward him, and took the picture.
…Though once I actually did it, I got incredibly embarrassed and regretted it a lot afterward.
Because that was what I wanted to do.