Chapter 19
After Han Seojin’s sudden attack left me unable to think straight, I finally managed to pull myself together and ask what I’d been wondering about.
“…Why, why didn’t you text me for a whole week?”
The most important thing was why Han Seojin had gone silent for a whole week.
A week was an awfully long time to endure—at least, it was for me.
Of course, I could’ve messaged him first, but I had my reasons.
“Huh? That?”
Han Seojin answered immediately when I asked.
…He went on at quite some length, but Han Seojin said the reason he hadn’t contacted me was ‘to give me some time to myself.’
The day after what happened, he’d almost messaged me without thinking. But since he’d let me sort out my feelings on my own, he thought contacting me again before even a day had passed would be no different from before.
He didn’t think a day or two would be enough for me to get over it, either, so he decided to give me a whole week and hoped I’d feel better by then.
“…Phew.”
“Looking back now, it was a little strange, but at the time I thought it was the right thing to do.”
After hearing him out, I couldn’t help letting out a sigh of relief.
He hadn’t stopped contacting me because he’d started to hate me.
‘Thank goodness….’
While I kept staring blankly at my phone, which hadn’t received a single message in a week, I’d worried so much that he might not contact me again—not just for now, but ever. Thankfully, that wasn’t what he meant.
The hugs and sharing food had already eased a lot of the anxiety I’d built up, but hearing the reason straight from Han Seojin completely put my mind at ease.
-Squeeze.
“Ow….”
“Y-You idiot…!”
The second thing I felt was anger toward Han Seojin.
It felt unfair that I’d had to suffer for a whole week because this idiot had gotten the wrong idea and done something so pointless.
…Of course, I’d given him reason to misunderstand me, but I never thought he’d go a whole week without contacting me.
“Idiot, idiot, idiot…!”
Seriously, the biggest idiot in the world…!
I wasn’t such a heartless person that I’d hate the first friend I’d ever made. If anything, I liked him—
‘…Not romantically! I like him as a friend!’
Thinking that I liked him felt strange, so I corrected what I meant in my head, then went right back to stretching Han Seojin’s cheeks.
…So soft.
His cheeks were so soft and springy, and so addictive to pinch, that I kept kneading and pinching them this way and that. Then I came to my senses, realized I’d been at it much longer than usual, and hurriedly let go.
“I-I just didn’t like those kinds of girls hanging around you, that’s all….”
“Those girls? Oh, that person?”
“Yeah….”
After I barely managed to squeeze out the embarrassing reason I’d acted that way, Han Seojin nodded as if he understood, then—
“The only women I need around me are my mom and you, Siyeon.”
“…W-What?!”
Han Seojin had casually blurted out something else, and I felt my face grow scorching hot as I covered it with my hands.
…L-Liar.
‘Can a dating-sim male lead really say something like that…?’
Thinking about all the girls who’d get involved with Han Seojin—one after another, and excluding me—I couldn’t help feeling that what he’d said had almost zero credibility.
He was only saying that because we’d just started middle school. Once we reached high school, where the dating sim originally began, he’d forget all about it and go around meeting tons of girls.
He was obviously just saying it to make me feel better.
Yeah, yeah, he was just saying it to make me feel better.
“…Heh, hihi.”
So it couldn’t be helped that I let out a stupid little laugh and grew happier the more I turned his words over in my mind.
‘I’m the only one besides his parents…?’
I’d never imagined it could make me so happy to feel that I was the only one for my first and only friend, just as he was the only one for me.
Especially since there were so many people around Han Seojin I didn’t know. I’d thought there would be plenty of girls I couldn’t keep away from him, but he was telling me there weren’t any.
“Heh, hehe, hehehe….”
I shouldn’t be like this. I’d look like an easy girl.
No matter how many times I told myself that, the corners of my mouth refused to come down.
“Idiot, liar, hee, don’t lie to me….”
“I’m not lying.”
“I said don’t, you idiot…!”
Wanting to hear more of the same, I kept calling him a liar. I only stopped denying everything after I’d gotten to hear things like “You’re my only female friend, Siyeon” and “You’re the one I like best, Siyeon,” and the embarrassment finally outweighed the happiness.
My only friend… Hehe.
==========
Anyway, after that, I set one condition for Han Seojin.
He had to talk to me at least once every day.
I knew this was the result of both my own overthinking and Han Seojin’s, but he was the one who’d left me alone for a whole week, so I made the demand without hesitation—and he readily agreed.
I’d said it expecting him to refuse, since I thought I really wouldn’t be able to handle it if this happened again. So when Han Seojin agreed, I couldn’t help celebrating inwardly.
…Now I’d never be left on my own like that again.
I’d also resolved to message him first every now and then, so at the thought of texting him again, I struggled to calm my thumping heart.
“…Seojin.”
“Yeah?”
“You, you won’t leave me, right…? W-We’ll be together forever?”
“Of course.”
I wasn’t planning on becoming Han Seojin’s girlfriend yet, but if he got a girlfriend, she might think it was strange that I texted and talked with him at least once a day and push me away. So, even if it was only in words, I made him promise that we’d ‘stay together forever.’
…It was a selfish thought, but I wanted to stay with Han Seojin for ten years, twenty years, right up until the moment before I died.
But actually living together forever—m-marriage and things like that—was a frightening unknown. Beyond the fact that I didn’t like relationships with men, I’d never experienced anything like that and knew nothing about it.
‘W-Would he like it if he knew I felt this way…?’
What I meant was, ‘Let’s stay single together forever!’ If Han Seojin knew I was thinking that, I couldn’t imagine he’d like it.
If someone said that to me, I’d wonder what on earth was wrong with them. Would Han Seojin be any different?
…An idiot like Han Seojin would probably just say he was fine with it, but that wouldn’t make my conscience feel any better.
‘…I-I have to hide this no matter what.’
I decided I’d never tell him about this, even if it killed me.
Not that I even knew whether I’d ever get the chance to.
I knew this was an ugly thought, born from wanting to stay with Han Seojin even if it meant being selfish about it.
“Then, shall we go?”
“…Y-Yeah.”
Were we going somewhere else again?
There were so many people around that I was uncomfortable and desperately wanted to go home, but I wanted to spend more time with Han Seojin even more than I wanted to go home.
I took Han Seojin’s hand and trotted after him as he led the way, thinking of how to calm my thumping heart again.
==========
“…A picnic mat?”
“Yeah!”
Before I knew it, we’d made it to the Han River. Surrounded by an incredible number of people, I started looking around when Han Seojin said he was going somewhere for a bit. I’d almost told him not to go, but managed to stop myself. Then I stared blankly at him as he returned carrying a huge picnic mat.
I wondered if we’d come all this way just so the two of us could sit together on a picnic mat after so long—which was a little anticlimactic, but still, the thought of being alone together on one again made my heart flutter in a strange way—
‘…H-Huh.’
I don’t know, either.
Why, why was I like this today?
Everything I did with Han Seojin felt so wonderful.
“Want chicken?”
“…Yeah.”
“Soy sauce?”
“Y-Yeah….”
Thanks to Han Seojin knowing exactly what kind of chicken I liked, I kept saying yeah and subtly shifting closer to him, little by little, so no one would notice.
…I didn’t really know why I wanted to get closer, either. I just wanted to be close to him right now.
Time passed, the chicken arrived, and then more time went by. By now, it was completely dark.
‘…M-Mom must be waiting.’
I hadn’t expected us to spend so much time together like this. I was quietly enjoying it, but I also worried because I couldn’t tell Mom I’d be getting home this late.
“I already told your mom.”
“R-Really…?”
Reassured by Han Seojin saying he’d already told her, I leaned my head against his shoulder.
…I was terribly embarrassed after doing it, but I wanted to lean against him comfortably.
“Do you know why we’ve been here this whole time?”
“N-No….”
“Someone was paying for a fireworks show here out of their own pocket tonight. The moment I saw it was happening today, I knew I had to tell you.”
As he said that, there was a fwoosh, and lights began to appear in the dark sky.
“Happy birthday, Kim Siyeon.”
“…Huh?”
As gorgeous fireworks burst across the sky, Han Seojin wished me a happy birthday.
…Today was my birthday.
“…D-Do you think this is going to make me fall for you, you idiot?”
Only then did I remember that today was the birthday I’d completely forgotten about. I said that even after doing something like this, I’d never fall for him, then buried my face against Han Seojin’s chest.
“…Thank you.”
I thanked him in the tiniest, ant-sized voice.
The beautiful fireworks were just like how I felt right now.