I Cry When I See the Aurora

“Director, I heard you wanted to see me.”

“Oh, Teacher Siwoo. Come on in.”

“How have things been at work lately?”

“About the same as always. Nothing special.”

“Well…… unfortunately, it seems there is something special going on. Is there anything you’d like to tell me? If not, take a look at this first.”

“……A complaint? A summons? What is all this?”

******************

Cold.

Fucking cold.

“Brrr, hey, how long do we have to stay out here like th-this?”

“I know…… They said tonight was definitely the best chance.”

Why had the Yuria from back then wanted to see the aurora? Now I was the one suffering for it.

I’d almost rather face a monster attack.

At least then I could relax while Derek cut them all down.

The night sky had been cloudy the whole time we’d been staying here, so they said it would be hard to see the aurora unless the sky cleared tonight.

But there was no set time for the aurora to appear.

Which meant we had to wait indefinitely until it showed up.

Most people would leave someone on watch and go to sleep, then come out when they heard the aurora had appeared. It’s cold, after all.

But I don’t know how this bastard’s body is put together; his definition of cold is completely different from an ordinary person’s.

So he has no idea how long an ordinary person like me can stand this kind of cold.

And he’d dragged me so far out here that it felt awkward to go back inside to escape the cold.

All I could do was huddle as close to the fire as I could without getting burned.

Brrr…… Lumiere, you voyeuristic lizard, make the aurora appear……

Just as my teeth were chattering so hard that I was starting to wonder where I’d get dental work if I chipped one, Derek, who’d been sitting beside me, suddenly sprang up and ran off.

“Eek! Help! I was just passing through…… Young Master?”

“I was wondering who it was. It’s Kate. What are you doing here?”

She was one of the mages in the Knights I’d run into a few times on the way here.

Did someone drag you here too, like me?

“I heard tonight would be good for seeing the aurora. As you know, I’m a light mage, so the mana enriched by the aurora is well worth braving this cold to study.”

“Is that so? I came out to see the aurora, too. Would you like to join us?”

“You, Young Master, came out to see the aurora……? You were never this sentimental before…… Aha.”

The mage met my eyes as I sat beside the fire.

I tried to make the most pitiful face I could to signal that I needed saving, and the mage frowned deeply and whispered to Derek.

“No, Young Master. Are you serious right now?”

“What do you mean?”

“You came out here on a date alone with Lady Yuria to watch the aurora, and you’re asking another woman to join you? You just lost all your points with that. Can’t you see Lady Yuria’s expression?”

I can hear you, you old hag.

Who’s doing what with whom?

He’s the one who dragged me to this freezing place on a whim to show me the aurora, and he’s the one who woke me up and brought me all the way out here in this cold.

If your romantic instincts are bad enough to mistake this for a date, you’ll die an old maid.

Derek glanced my way, then whispered about something with the damn old hag for a while.

Soon, the old hag winked at me and vanished like the wind.

I paid no mind to Derek sitting down beside me and stared only at the campfire, crackling as it burned.

“Yuria, are you angry?”

“About what?”

“Never mind. I’m sorry.”

“What for, you idiot?”

I’m just pissed off that I’ve been roped into some date with you, you bastard.

Especially since lately I’ve had something to worry about in that department.

At least it wasn’t the kind of gossip saying I seduced Derek and we screwed around together every day, so I just let it slide.

It’s not like this is the first time I’ve heard things like that.

I know all too well how much gossip can wreck a person, so it always leaves a nasty taste in my mouth whenever I hear those kinds of stories secondhand.

But I also know how much worse things can get if you go around frantically trying to shut the gossip down, so I just swallow it.

Ha, this is some serious PTSD.

And right on cue, something perfect for triggering it appeared before my eyes.

“Yuria, look over there. The aurora!”

“……It is.”

Back when life as Lee Siwoo had been at its hardest and most exhausting, I spent every last bit of money I had on a trip to Iceland.

I just wanted to see the aurora once before I died. I still don’t know why.

I couldn’t hold back the resentment that welled up as I watched it there, and I cried.

The aurora that appeared before my eyes when everything was at its worst was incredibly beautiful.

It was a similar kind of aurora to the one back then, but now my life was incomparably more peaceful—aside from the weight on my shoulders and the emptiness between my legs.

It was a good life, except for the worries about romance and marriage that still lingered in one corner of my mind.

The one thing that was better back then…… was that I watched the aurora while soaking in one of Iceland’s famous hot springs, so I didn’t feel cold at all?

Suddenly, a cloth touched my face.

When I turned my head, Derek was wiping my face with his handkerchief.

“Did your emotions get the better of you? Why are you crying?”

……I was crying.

I suppose it was impossible not to cry when I thought back on those days.

Still, for some reason, I felt embarrassed in front of him.

The contrast between me acting like a tough guy every day and tearing up at the sight of the aurora was pretty stark.

I took the handkerchief from Derek.

I slowly wiped away the tears streaming down my face.

“……Why are you doing this now?”

“Just stay like this until you calm down.”

At some point, Derek had pulled me close and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, making me lean against him.

Did I look that unstable?

Normally, I would’ve reached out and thrown a throat-punch at him right away.

But now, I quietly rested my head on his shoulder.

First things first, I needed to shake off this shitty remnant of my past.

***************

A route that started in the northeast, reached the northernmost point, then made a wide loop through the southern foothills of the mountain range into the northwest.

We’d just left the northernmost domain, so we were now halfway through the journey.

And, as had been the case for hundreds of years, the Knights still hadn’t found anything unusual related to the monsters stirring in the mountains.

While the march was paused for lunch, the Knights, temporarily gathered after sweeping the northeastern domains, exterminating monsters, and investigating the area, held a brief meeting.

“……That was everything. That’s all.”

“That’s really nothing. That’s it?”

“Hey, did you hear that we killed more Snow Orcs than your Eighth Squad? And you say that’s it?”

“You’re bragging over just two more? If you think about it, we covered a wider domain, so shouldn’t we compare the number per area?”

As usual, the Knights’ meeting was proceeding in a freewheeling atmosphere.

Amid it all, Kate watched her lord, who usually stepped in around this point to mediate the meeting and calm everyone down.

He was clearly distracted by something else.

Kate thought it was obvious why her lord, normally cold and aloof despite showing a fairly human side when dealing with the Knights, was sitting there so absentmindedly.

Kate decided to take this opportunity to tease that innocent young master.

Her lord had never even had a proper romance because he was devoted to his childhood friend. And, unsurprisingly, the previous night he’d failed to read a woman’s heart and nearly ruined their date. Kate had nagged him about it and gotten snapped at, which still felt terribly unfair.

This sort of fun gossip was what kept them going through the boring regular winter patrol.

“Sigh, Young Master. Even if last night’s date was quite romantic and lovely, you should stop reminiscing for now and get the meeting underway.”

So Kate casually tossed a flask containing an explosive substance into the tent serving as their makeshift meeting room.

And, for an instant, silence fell inside the tent.

“What did you just say, Kate?”

“Oh~ Did none of you hear? Well, last night, the Young Master had a wonderfully romantic date, watching the aurora by a campfire outdoors. Isn’t that why he’s so unlike himself and completely spacing out?”

“……Really?”

“Yeah, I saw it myself.”

After the aurora appeared, Kate had gone back to where the two of them were.

From a distance, she saw Yuria leaning slightly against Derek, her head resting gently on his shoulder as they watched the aurora.

Honestly, that was all Kate had seen, but she deliberately left that part out.

That way, the couple she’d been working so hard to promote would gain even more momentum among the Knights.

Of course, Derek wasn’t about to just sit there and let it happen.

“Enough with the useless talk. Let’s get back to the meeting.”

“Oh, come on, Young Master. You’re only saying that because you’re embarrassed again.”

“Quiet, all of you. Kate, stop making up stories and exaggerating them.”

Naturally, Kate didn’t back down either.

“No, Young Master. What do you mean, made-up? When? Last night. Where? By the campfire. With whom? Alone with that person. What? Talking and embracing. How? While watching the aurora. Why? Because you have feelings for each other! I laid it all out according to the five Ws and one H. Is any of that incorrect?”

“……The last part certainly isn’t true.”

“Oh? If you don’t have feelings for each other, then this is unrequited love. Oh, what a tragic story…… Ah, all right. We can have the meeting, okay?”

Derek lightly quelled the rebellion by gripping the sword at his hip, while Kate grumbled to herself.

Meanwhile, the other knights exchanged glances and formed an invisible wager over how far their lord had gotten with her the previous night.

The entrance to the tent serving as their makeshift meeting room opened slightly, and someone poked their head inside.

And that person was, of all people, the one Derek most wished weren’t here, and the one the rest of the Knights couldn’t help but welcome with sparkling eyes.

“Um, sorry to interrupt your meeting.”

Yuria poked only her head into the tent and spoke cautiously.

“The knight in charge of provisions said it’s mealtime and asked me to come get all of you.”

Derek’s eyes met Yuria’s as she looked around the tent.

Yuria gave him a faint smile, then promptly disappeared outside the tent.

Derek casually ignored the looks demanding an explanation, stood up, and hurried out after Yuria.

Of course, it was to go eat, just as Yuria had said.

At least, that was what Derek decided to believe.