I Only Do This Because It's You

“Lee Siwoo?”

“Yes! I'm applicant number 22763, Lee Siwoo!”

“Don't be so nervous. Now, you're the only male applicant in the afternoon interview group. As you know, it's rare for a man to enter this department. Could you tell us why you applied?”

“Yes! I grew up in an orphanage without a family. I was the oldest by quite a few years, so I spent a long time looking after the younger kids. I think I'm used to caring for children. Looking after them also made me interested in caring for children who, like them, are in difficult circumstances.”

“I saw that you left the family section of your personal statement blank. I'm sorry. When you were at the orphanage, how did you look after the younger children?”

*********************

Given Derek's status—one of the highest in the Empire, if you looked at rank alone—the field meals we ate along the road during the whole tour were surprisingly delicious.

I never had to join the military for a very particular reason, so I don't know if field rations are usually this bad, but surely this place is still a lot better than that miserable K-military.

I don't know if it was because the quartermaster was incredibly skilled or because the Grand Ducal House had money to burn, but they were grilling chunks of meat on the spot, crisp on the outside and tender inside, seasoned with something that reminded me of turmeric, and calling it combat rations.

“You think all combat rations are like this? Of course not. When I go on a march with the unit, I usually just chew on bits of jerky.”

“What, then? Did you just decide to splurge this time?”

I said, tearing off a piece of meat and placing it in Derek's mess tin.

It was lunchtime, and we were eating out in a vast, empty field.

For some reason, nobody seemed to want to go near Derek today, so we ended up eating off by ourselves.

Actually, I wanted to eat alone today, too.

Thinking back on how I'd cried yesterday, I was a little embarrassed.

But the knights kept subtly avoiding Derek for some reason, and I felt sorry for him, so I decided to brazen it out and eat with him.

What on earth did you do in one day to become so hated, Derek, while I was being worked to the bone as a human Excel spreadsheet machine?

Meanwhile, Derek put the meat I'd carefully torn into small pieces back into my mess tin.

“Yuria, you don't have to do this. I told you, while we're on this tour, you're here as a young lady of House Lloyd, not as my maid. That way, you'll be treated much better while you work.”

“Hey, this is all your fault, you idiot. I've been serving you for four years—no, since the year changed, this is technically my fifth year. It's become a habit.”

“Really? I don't remember you ever feeding me like this, though.”

“Just go with it. Don't nitpick. It's all part of the same general category of waiting on you.”

Still, Derek didn't take any of the meat I'd torn up for him.

Instead, he tore off a piece of his own and set it on my mess tin.

They'd given us enough for one meal that, if I ate sparingly, could easily last me six meals over two days. And he wanted me to eat more? What was this, a forced-feeding session?

“What's this now?”

“It's for you to eat. I brought all this food along just to feed you.”

“What, me? Why?”

“I told you. You're not my maid right now, but the precious young lady of a count's family. We can't bring someone like that along and give her food fit for people sitting down on the side of the road.”

No wonder the quality was way too good for combat rations.

Still, why was he going this far for me?

“Thanks. You really didn't have to go this far...”

“We've got to take care of all sorts of things to keep our Lady Yuria well-fed.”

“That's all well and good, but let's drop that shitty 'Lady' title, okay?”

I complained, but still tore off another piece of meat and put it in Derek's mess tin.

This is why I can keep being friends with him.

Only after the meat had passed back and forth between our mess tins several times did we finish eating.

Even though we'd taken our time, the knights were still in the middle of their meal.

What on earth had they been doing to take this long?

Had they been watching something fun while the high-ranking nobles weren't around?

So, to help digest our food, we decided to take a short walk.

Naturally, Derek came with me.

Thanks to someone insisting that I needed an escort in case monsters attacked, the two of us strolled slowly around nearby.

“It's nice that it's not as cold today. I hate being cooped up in the carriage. Walking around makes me feel less stiff.”

“Why don't you step outside the carriage for a bit? You can sit beside the driver or even ride on top.”

“I'd rather feel stiff than cold. Still, I hate getting all stiff. Ngh, ahh.”

I interlaced my fingers and stretched my arms straight up toward the sky.

My shoulders felt great.

Having big breasts was nice when I first became Yuria, but carrying them around every minute of every day makes my shoulders feel like they're going to fucking die.

Not that my shoulders were in great shape to begin with.

The saying that having big breasts isn't always a good thing is something only women can understand.

You can tell they don't exactly serve any positive purpose just by looking at this bastard, who sneaked a glance at my bouncing breasts while pretending not to.

“Hey, you bastard, what are you looking at?”

“...Sorry.”

Even for a close friend, they have the huge side effect of catching his eye. Totally worthless.

Even after living as a woman for four full years, I'm not exactly proud of my bust size.

The only thing they're good for is that, now and then, fondling them alone in my room gets me worked up. But I hardly ever do it because the crushing post-nut clarity afterward hits like a truck.

“Ha. Hey, I know damn well how appealing my breasts are, but know your limits. What would you get out of looking at another guy's, anyway?”

“Yuria, I'm sorry my eyes wandered without me realizing it. But you know those two sentences you just said don't exactly go together, right?”

“...I know, damn it.”

I know. I know damn well.

That's why I'm even more pissed off. I don't have anything to say back.

Actually, if you think about it, Derek's impressive for at least accepting my stubborn claim that I'm a man.

No matter how much I insist I'm a man, my own body is an undeniable argument against it.

Even Derek had his eyes drawn to them for a moment, and that's saying something.

Silence fell between us for a moment.

Did I really need to point it out?

I'm a man, too, so I know that if they're this big and well-proportioned, it's only natural for his eyes to wander.

Besides, he's a never-dated virgin.

I know because we've been together every moment except when he's holding a sword.

He says if the heir to the Grand Duchy were a womanizer, the prosperity of the Grand Ducal House, built up over generations, would crumble or something.

So other than me, he's never even properly held a woman's hand.

For Derek, no matter how I looked at it, my breasts were pretty lethal.

Well, fine. He can look. I'll let it slide this once.

Since things had gone quiet, I ran a hand across Derek's chest to break the ice.

“What are you doing, Yuria?”

“Me? Just checking something.”

“Checking?”

“Look at this. What have you been doing out there while I was poring over the account books? The leather's all worn out.”

Wearing adamantium armor in the snowy wilderness made the reflected light glare so badly that Derek always wore a large leather coat over his armor in winter.

And that leather coat was torn and worn in several places, and looked to be in pretty bad shape.

Even if they were treating me as a count's daughter right now, my main role was still being a maid. Who else was going to take care of this?

More than anything, I'd made it by hand and given it to him as a birthday present two birthdays ago.

“Good grief. When we get home, I'll patch it with scraps of leather and give it a major repair. You want to work your personal maid this hard, huh?”

I gave the huge hole in his chest a sharp slap.

Derek put on an aggrieved expression and said,

“Wow, you got mad at me for looking at your chest for one second, but now you're slapping and touching mine however you like.”

“No, what the fuck are you feeling so aggrieved about, you lunatic?”

If he has a problem with it, he can try having a woman's body himself.

Then give that body to me.

Honestly, letting that never-dated virgin get a feel for breasts as an act of male friendship? If I steeled myself, I could do it.

For no one else, though—only Derek.

If it's Derek, whom I've successfully gaslit into thinking I'm a man despite this body, wouldn't he still treat me the same even after touching my breasts?

I mean, even at the open-air hot spring, when I was truly defenseless, he never once turned around to look at me. That should be proof enough.

Still, I'd need to brace myself.

I'd never, ever let him try it for just any old price.

...Maybe I'll just test the waters.

Maybe the Administrator, who's probably watching from somewhere, will get excited and show up to talk about souls again.

As the price for information, my breasts... Hmm...

“I-I mean... if you want, you can touch them too.”

“...What?”

“Three, two, one, time's up. No more chances. That's it, done.”

Now that I'd actually said it, I didn't have the courage to follow through.

Take it back, take it back. I don't think I can do it yet, okay?

But after hearing me, Derek wore an angry expression he'd never once shown me before.

“Yuria, cut it out. Don't say things like that, not even as a joke. Especially once we get to the capital. Even if you insist you're a man, do you think nobody will take that as an invitation and make a move on you?”

“No, why are you getting mad...? Hey, I don't make jokes like that to just anyone. I only do this because it's you.”

That's not fair.

I shouldn't have tested him.