Chapter 122
Life is always a matter of where to stay.
Whether it means a physical dwelling or a psychological nest.
For humans, the concept of home was perhaps second in importance only to people.
We bought a nearby mansion and settled in adequately.
Until then, I had been taking short naps in the bottom sewers, but now that I had someone to take care of, I couldn't continue such a life.
Fortunately, thanks to various things extracted from the monarch, there was no shortage of funds.
The first home I ever had.
We stayed there.
Actually.
The girl resisted, saying she wouldn't go, but once she was in my hands, she had no choice but to be dragged along.
Was her fear of the outside still severe?
Even while walking on the street, I could see her complexion turning pale white.
She had experienced rampages several times, and at the end of those, there were even cases where someone died or got hurt, so it wasn't strange for the young girl to fear herself.
Won't her existence hurt others?
Fear learned from such obsession made her develop aversion to others.
It was the same for me too.
"Miss Neria."
The girl wouldn't open her heart at all.
There was no answer even when I called her name, and she would run to a corner when I tried to approach.
It felt like seeing a cat with its guard up.
A deeply wounded cat, that is.
"......"
At first, it was difficult to even hear her voice.
Because she didn't open her mouth at all.
It seemed she wasn't ready to accept a new life yet.
I gave the girl warm bedding, quality food, soft clothes, etc., but she seemed uncomfortable with unfamiliar kindness.
She would sleep on the floor every time, saying the fluffy bed was uncomfortable.
The peace that suddenly came was only anxious.
Her physical condition was also serious.
Traces of violence remained vividly in every corner, and among them were even parts that were severely festering and rotting.
Moreover, perhaps because of her body containing starlight, she had frequent high fevers.
Almost every night.
"Haa, haa...!"
The girl was sweating coldly with rough breathing.
When someone cried painfully at dawn, I had to stay up all night beside the monster with a raging fever.
I stayed by her side.
I knew it was difficult.
The curse she had lived with since childhood, a life ruined by unwanted power, nightmares of suppressed abuse and brainwashing.
The wounds accumulated living through past times couldn't heal at once.
I approached slowly with patience.
For the girl who was still crying, by forgiving her wandering sins.
I just remained.
"I'm here beside you."
"It hurts... s-stop, I'm sorry, please forgive me..."
"No one has blamed you for any sin."
"Stay away, e-everyone will die because of me... it hurts, I want to stop."
"No one will die anymore. You're just having a nightmare. Follow me and take a deep breath calmly."
"Ugh, haa..."
"You're doing well."
Taming is.
Like the process of getting used to each other.
Rather than hastily narrowing the distance, watching from afar, just showing kindness enough to convey goodwill, and gradually increasing the frequency of eye contact.
So that the other person can accept the unfamiliar stranger who came to their world.
"Miss Neria."
"......"
"If you're too wary, I get hurt too. Anyway, you were hungry, right? I brought dinner."
Though it's a concept much forgotten, the value of relationships is originally like that.
A process of increasing density based on time.
People explain that time's density isn't always proportional to volume, but even such people can't deny the absolute value contained in volume.
A relationship built up slowly and steadily brings two people closer, though slowly but surely.
Before we knew it, a thread of connection was tied between us.
"Well~ It's time for treatment again today!"
I did my best.
I treated wounds carefully, didn't hesitate to use power to fill flesh, or erase thickly applied scars.
Thanks to that, by the time a week passed, no more scars could be found on the girl's body.
I remember the silver hair looking at herself with surprised eyes.
I smiled as if praising her, announcing the treatment was over.
It didn't stop there.
"Is there any food you want to eat? I'm trying to cook, though I'm unskilled."
I even prepared meals myself.
Though the girl never lowered her guard, she wavered before warm food all the same.
It was worth cooking as she emptied her bowl cleanly every time.
Besides that, I made her bed, nursed her when she had a fever, and brought her blankets when she was trembling in a corner.
The snake and monster accumulated time like that.
"Time really flies."
Time passed like an arrow.
It had already been over a month since we stayed in the mansion together.
The calendar of last month seemed to have passed particularly quickly.
As such.
There was a change in the relationship between the two.
The girl still had a cold atmosphere, but she no longer put up thorns or intentionally ignored words like before.
Now it was possible to have light conversations.
It was an achievement made by consistency.
"Huhu."
A morning no different from usual.
As I was serving a meal with still unskilled hands, suddenly the girl sitting at the table threw a question.
It was the first time she asked something since taming began.
I paused the bowl I was putting down.
"Why... are you doing this much for me?"
Pupils showing no vitality.
A helpless gaze blankly looked up at this side.
The warm kindness placed before her eyes every day... was the girl curious about those times?
The monster was asking about devotion.
"I've thought about it, but I don't know. Well, there's nothing I can do for you."
"Hmm."
If asked for a reason.
Well.
I don't know well either.
I knew I was going through needless trouble.
I also felt I was being excessively devoted.
I just.
"Brother!"
Couldn't pass by when I saw a hurting child.
Because the only regret I left in my past life kept eating away at one side of my heart.
I should have treated her better then.
I should have stayed with her even a little.
I should have made her not lonely.
Perhaps I was projecting abstractly engraved monologues onto reality.
I answered with a smile that didn't matter either way.
"Because you're precious."
An awkwardly uttered excuse.
But the girl didn't seem to mind.
She just nodded her head a few times and started eating the stew placed in front of her.
I slowly stroked her silver hair with an outstretched hand.
For the first time, the girl didn't avoid it.
It was a morning that passed with soft hair touching my fingertips.
***
The girl was curious.
About the warmth that suddenly came to her life.
'It's strange.'
The world was always cold.
Without a trace of warmth.
She held a curse named blessing from birth, and because of that, she came to bear unwanted sin and tears on her back.
For her, the world was like wandering with nowhere to stay.
It was a natural proposition.
Because her existence only hurt others.
Nevertheless, the girl wanted to live.
'It's cold.'
People feared her.
They called her a monster.
They threw stones telling her to get lost.
'It hurts.'
The old man who showed interest.
The old man who called himself monarch only thought of using the girl.
He imprisoned her in a prison where violence and brainwashing were repeated, with strange devices hanging all over.
From then on, the girl gave up on life.
Because she sensed this cursed fate would never end.
'I'm lonely.'
The world was winter.
After winter came winter, at the end of that was winter again, and at the last was winter once more.
Winter, winter, winter, and winter.
The four seasons where cold and pain never ended swallowed her world as a cruel blizzard.
Like that, the girl had to die completely for 8 years.
She thought no flowers would bloom in her world.
But
"I've finally met you."
"I've come to take you."
One day.
An unknown warmth found the girl's world.
"Shall we go? Miss Neria."
A name given arbitrarily.
The boy who suddenly appeared took her out from the iron bars where she was hiding.
She refused to go outside because she didn't want to hurt other people, but regardless, that touch led her forcefully.
It was a world she was stepping on for the first time.
The boy was warm.
He treated her festering wounds perfectly, prepared meals himself every day, and stayed by her side when she suffered from high fever at dawn.
Following the passing time, the girl's sharp wariness gradually softened.
At the same time, she came to have doubts.
Because it was the first goodwill she received in life.
It was close to curiosity about the unknown.
"Why... are you doing this much for me?"
So she asked.
When everyone in the world hated her, or only thought of using or controlling her.
When she thought life was a path full of only wounds.
Why do you alone give that warmth?
The girl had to know.
"There's nothing I can do for you."
A voice muttering quietly.
The answer that returned.
It cleanly missed the expectations that had filled her mind.
The boy answered with a warm smile.
"Because you're precious."
Precious.
It was a word difficult to understand the meaning of.
A question not resolved at all.
But the girl didn't open her mouth anymore.
Because if she parted her lips even a little, it felt like this hazy moment would pop like a balloon.
The monster just picked up her spoon.
"Huhu."
Afterwards.
A touch gently stroking her head.
The skin and body heat of another person touching for the first time in her life conveyed an unfamiliar sensation.
But
Because it was warm nevertheless.
She didn't feel like avoiding the hand placed on her crown.
The girl quietly received the clumsy stroking.
'...It's warm.'
For a moment.
It felt like escaping winter.
***
However,
The world where stars fell was still cold to the girl.
Because she couldn't even wish for a moment of happiness.
"So you were here. Miss Neria."
"You..."
With blood and snow fluttering in the background.
The golden-haired snake and silver-haired monster were facing each other.
Red tears flowed down the girl's cheeks.
Her delicate lips moved.
"I have one last request. If it's you, I think I won't regret it."
That too was winter.
"Kill me..."
In the continuing sadness.
The girl prayed for a wish about the last season.