Chapter 124
It was a common story.
A girl who had lived her whole life in darkness saw light for the first time, but she became scared of the unfamiliar coziness and ran away.
It was a paradox of misfortune.
While shedding tears saying she didn't want to be unhappy, in the end she returned to the most familiar unhappiness.
Because that sadness was the only thing that had become home in her wandering life.
In the end, a life staying in life.
The girl before my eyes was the same.
"So you were here. Miss Neria."
"You...?"
Silver hair fluttering in the harsh wind.
Starlight rippled around.
Cheeks with blood and tears dripping, and a large wound on the right face.
Transparent pupils were blankly looking this way.
"I wasn't too late."
I spoke as if answering that gaze.
I had realized the girl had disappeared and chased after her, but at least I was able to stop her before it reached the worst.
From the palm that hurriedly covered the dagger, the sound of flesh burning leaked.
The temperature of iron fully contained starlight.
Nevertheless, I met her eyes without showing any sign of pain.
"How worried I was."
The girl made a complex expression at the glib reproach.
Her lips that had been silent for a moment soon muttered with a hoarse voice.
"...You chased after me in the end. Even through this terrible blizzard."
"Because I promised to take responsibility."
"That's right..."
You're that kind of person.
The girl smiled with a strange atmosphere as if enlightened.
Her calm voice rather revealed resignation.
"That's why I left you."
Because you're too good a person.
The warmth and kindness you casually threw, your devotion that tried to become home beyond misfortune, was too much and burdensome for a mere bottom-dwelling monster.
Because I felt this cursed fate would hurt even you.
I decided to leave your side with my own steps.
"This is my choice."
"Miss Neria."
"Still, the time I spent with you was enjoyable. To the extent that I unknowingly felt more thirst... But now it's over."
The futile dream shattered into pieces.
A smile still remained on her lips.
The girl seemed to have made some decision while wandering in the blizzard.
The faint warmth declared its last towards this side.
"Hey. I have one last request."
There was particularly no vitality visible in her silver pupils.
She was a flower just about to break.
"Kill me."
It was a prayer for suicide.
Her expression showing even a trace of relief was crumbling ephemerally.
The starlight spread around gradually became clearer.
"I'm tired now."
The girl didn't want to become a monster.
She didn't want to hurt other people, and she didn't want to tremble in loneliness and darkness forever.
In the end, the choice she made was once again an escape into unhappiness.
Towards the most familiar home.
"So I don't become a monster, before that happens... kill me with your hands."
"......"
"If it's you, I think I won't regret it."
I couldn't return any answer.
Tears flowing along the wound.
It felt like I was being pressed down by that atmosphere.
Perhaps taking the silence for a while as acceptance, the girl slowly moved the dagger she was holding together.
The still hot blade soon aimed at her delicate neck.
She didn't put strength into it.
As if.
Asking this side to stab.
It was truly vicious.
"My body will soon rampage. I tried to suppress it as much as possible, but now I feel my reason is gradually fading."
Whoosh-!
Was that word a signal flare?
Her condition worsened in earnest.
The light surrounding the area all emitted at once, and began spewing out power originating from the star one by one.
Even the weather faded in the scenery gradually covered by high temperatures.
As if emphasizing, her eyes closed intently.
"If you don't kill me... this whole area will be swept away by starlight."
Warning words.
It meant if she wasn't killed here, more people would die.
As if proving that content, the light's resistance intensified.
The flash struck with thousands of thorns piercing into the skin.
The pain of flesh burning in real time was not pleasant.
I lowered my head.
"Please."
A wish ringing in my ear.
While chewing on the texture felt from the language, I recalled myself.
It was the time I had spent with the girl so far.
"Why... are you doing this much for me?"
I quietly recalled that question.
Though I glossed it over with an ambiguous answer at the time, this time I had to conclude an answer to that question.
Though I was gradually becoming covered in blood, I continued contemplating.
As if looking back on myself.
'Why... is it?'
Why did I devote myself so much?
The other person was just an extra at best.
Moreover, she was a seed of disaster that would completely burn 10% of the continent in the future.
What was the reason for bestowing peace to such a monster?
'Well.'
Perhaps.
Because the sensation of taking care of others was too long ago.
Because that faint body heat was particularly tender.
Though she was a girl with no resemblance to my sister at all, every time I dealt with her, the mourning I had left behind in my memories came to mind.
In one withering flower lived a heart I couldn't bring myself to burn.
I smiled faintly.
'I...'
Perhaps I overlapped that child in you.
Or myself.
We who were thoroughly abandoned by the world, despaired at unintended misfortune, yet struggled to live, but to the merciless irrationality too harsh to endure with immaturity, lost love emptily, had nowhere to rely on, and finally even the words that made us up shattered into pieces, so in that winter when only I could be left behind, there were children trembling in the cold like you now.
So I couldn't pass by you, a monster.
I couldn't kill you despite being a seed of disaster.
Because I thought even every scar remaining in that existence resembled us.
I wished for us from that time to be completely happy.
'A personal greed.'
The devotion I gave was based on such selfishness.
Because I kept minding myself reflected beyond the mirror, it was hypocritical mercy carried out putting myself ahead of others.
I didn't think that was shameful.
I just wanted to be an indulgence in supporting your pain.
I hoped you wouldn't hate yourself reflected in the mirror.
I hoped you wouldn't resign from your life resembling me, and would breathe that delicate breath.
Though it's somewhat selfish.
Even like that, I.
"Miss Neria."
Wanted you to live.
"I told you I'd be alright."
I let go of the hand holding the dagger.
The silver blade falling to the floor.
At the same time, without giving her time to react, I spread both arms and embraced her delicate body.
The violent starlight rampaged with momentum to swallow this side.
Nevertheless, I didn't let go.
'Just as I tamed you... you also tamed me.'
The responsibility of taming is not borne by only one side.
Since we formed a relationship together.
We should make efforts without putting superiority on that.
Therefore, I did not allow your escape.
Just as I took responsibility for you from unhappiness, you also had a duty to take responsibility for me from loneliness.
I slowly let lies seep in while holding onto that faint breath.
It was the fulfillment of responsibility.
"You don't have to be in pain anymore."
Cut, stabbed, burned.
Responsibility is painful.
Nevertheless, if there was a reason for not turning my back on this pitiful girl.
Just.
"Let's go home together."
To you who are in pain.
With the heart of wanting to give comfort.
***
"Please."
The girl was waiting for death.
The end of life finally reached.
There was no regret for the choice she made herself.
Because this was the best for everyone.
Surely there would be no story where even monsters become happy, no matter what fate was searched.
Her tightly closed eyelids blocked her tear-blurred vision.
'It's all over.'
It was a painful time.
But
It seemed she could close her eyes comfortably at least for the last.
Because there was someone tying that knot.
"I've come to take you."
The boy who taught her warmth for the first time in her life.
This was more than enough of an ending.
The heat lingering near her neck proved the dagger's existence.
When that sharpness completely pierced this breath, rest would come even to this lowly life.
Tears flowed down.
'Still... I'm a little scared after all.'
Her shoulders stiffening involuntarily.
She calmed her heart.
Even amid all kinds of emotions mixing, the star added light.
Fear, freedom, resentment, calm, liberation... While recalling all those words, as she was waiting for the following end.
Something pounced on the girl's body.
Wham-!
"I told you I'd be alright."
A lukewarm body heat.
Her reflexively opened eyes reflected the figure of the boy embracing her.
He was holding the burning starlight.
"Let's go home together."
At the continuing voice, the girl came to her senses.
The scenery being dyed by starlight in real time.
The monster hurriedly tried to detach the body stuck to her.
At this rate, both would surely be incinerated.
"What are you doing! Get away right now...!"
I asked for death.
I didn't ask for double suicide.
The reason I left was because I wanted him not to get hurt, so what meaning is there in burning so meaninglessly?
The girl pushed away that cozy embrace with all her might.
But it was useless.
"You'll be caught up too! Do you want to die together?!"
"Shh."
However,
Despite her desperate cry, the boy just smiled.
Though it must surely hurt, his expression was calm.
Darkness rippled in his lightly flicking finger.
Tak-!
"Please concentrate."
Shadows stealthily wrapping around.
The pitch black draping like curtains gradually covered the brilliant starlight.
The rampaging power regained a calm flow.
A sense of incongruity felt at this point.
"...Ah."
The girl stopped struggling and stood in place.
It felt different from usual treatment.
The violence gradually subsided.
It wasn't just a feeling of being suppressed, but was rapidly refining that vast power.
The boy was in the middle of interpreting the starlight in real time.
Sruruuk...
The deployed formula quickly seeped into the starlight and neutralized it.
The boy muttered with a tiring voice.
"Fortunately... I found it. A method to seal that starlight."
Though it took 3 months, I'm glad it wasn't too late.
The light gradually subsided then completely went out.
The rampaging flow also returned.
No... saying it simply returned wasn't enough.
It disappeared.
The power she had lived with her whole life was no longer felt.
It had been arbitrarily sealed.
"Im-impossible... How, h-how...?"
The girl showed a confused reaction.
Though it was truly an unbelievable situation, the snake just smiled mischievously as usual.
The embrace still pressed against each other was warm.
"Because I'm staying by your side."
Words promised a few days ago.
A promise to protect.
The boy whispered in her ear.
It was the moment of unraveling the curse so far.
"From now on, you won't have any loneliness, pain, or unhappiness."
"......"
"I'll make it so."
A voice wholly swearing his life.
Like a lie.
And like a miracle.
The boy came.
"So... won't you return?"
To embrace the lonely monster.
"To our home."
"...Ugh."
Words she had so wanted to hear.
Anyone would do.
Even with such a cursed fate, one word of permission saying it was okay to stay in this world.
One word gifting a home to her lonely self.
"Ugh..."
The girl couldn't stop the pouring tears.
Tears scattering hotly drop by drop.
The meaning of those tears was no longer resignation or despair.
Only joy dyed pure white was overflowing.
"Why was I born?"
After seeing light in the world.
The winter of life that had continued for nearly 20 years. It was the first spring that came to such a season.
Even the blizzard that seemed eternal stopped.
Transparent dew fell drip drip.
The girl embraced the boy's body in return.
"It's warm... hic, it's w-warm..."
Warmth.
Body heat.
Coziness.
How much had she longed for those words?
How much had she thirsted?
As if resolving a long thirst, the girl buried her face in the broad embrace.
Her childlike crying voice completely filled the empty snow field.
"Ugh, huu..."
"You've worked hard all this time."
Only a fallen name was visible on the ground.
A single negation containing the past.
Beside such a dagger, suddenly a single flower had bloomed.
It seemed to announce that the long winter had ended too.
What winter left for them was.
Spring.
A single flower that bloomed with that beginning.
Even withered hearts sprouted buds again, and all that pain blossomed like flower petals.
We.
Can live the seasons to come.
Promising pure white hope.
Like that.
Towards the future.