Chapter 48
The computer is smiling brightly.
The small one-room apartment rose to its feet.
Time, peeled away, clamors.
The deep darkness greeted me politely.
Hello. Another day, unchanged as ever.
The sound of chains, having lost all justification, barged into the entryway.
Clink, clink.
Color spread across the world.
A torn frog danced, then twisted its head.
Laughter came from eyes black as ink.
The scissors hiding away grew excited.
The traffic light put on a hat.
A person flowing backward shone.
A dog with only its head left rolled along and hit the calendar.
A frivolous condemnation squeezes my neck.
Refreshing melancholy.
A virtuous deed studying hard asks how I am.
Father tears Mother's mouth open.
Red blood struggles to climb a mountain.
The sky falls.
“Saint□slf◬◜ㅋ釬∺.”
Sound took shape and greeted me.
My dazed mind slowly began to recognize its surroundings.
“Saint∰ᨆᑒjss-nim.”
My blurred retinas focused.
The outlines of the hazy shapes grew clear.
“Saintess.”
A voice, both anxious and gentle, reached my ears.
When I shifted my gaze, I saw a man with brown hair parted neatly to one side.
I knew who this man was.
Priest Ronin.
At a glance, he looked like a young man in his twenties, but he was actually in his early thirties.
“You've woken up. Why aren't you saying anything?”
“………?”
I looked around.
I was sitting there in a pathetic heap.
When I tried to move my arms or legs, I heard chains clinking.
Chains?
Like someone had poured a great deal of paint into water.
Or like turning on a computer.
My broken thoughts slowly returned to their normal course.
Ugh.
A dry heave stabbed at my chest.
I didn't hold back my revulsion.
“Ugh.”
I threw up right where I sat.
Vomit splattered across the floor.
My stomach burned because it was empty.
No, judging by those clumps of something like semen, maybe it wasn't entirely empty.
“Purify.”
A low, solemn voice.
The holy art of purification activated, cleanly erasing the vomit soaking my clothes and the floor.
It was the work of Priest Ronin.
“Are you feeling unwell?”
“I guess I ate too much cum because of some fucking assholes.”
Even as I raged, Ronin's expression remained calm.
His finger brushed across my lips.
“The Goddess will be angered if you mar such a lovely face.”
His words were calm, but his actions weren't.
Judging by how he was trembling, he was furious.
His words made me realize what I'd done.
Right, I'd burned my own face.
It was a sensation that made my skin crawl.
Not metaphorically. Literally.
I'd realized that pressing a burning piece of wood to my face wasn't something I could do with a clear head.
The smell of burning flesh made my nose twist.
A burning sensation, as if someone had poured strong acid over my face.
The feeling of my nerve cells melting and sticking together.
It wasn't the kind of pain I could possibly endure.
It was an explosive, shocking pain, like several wires shorting out and blowing up.
It still made me shudder, but I gave him a sharp smile.
Or at least, I tried to look sharp.
“You don't like that your toy got burned?”
“I'm upset, of course. Especially seeing how exhausted you are.”
Ronin's voice was tender.
Exhausted?
“Shut up! I didn't burn my face because I was tired. I did it so you bastards wouldn't get your way, you asshole!”
“Is that so? You ruined your face because you didn't want us to hold you?”
I laughed cynically.
“Ha, yeah! Not many idiots would want to hold a woman with a melted face, right?”
“Who knows? I wouldn't mind, as long as it's you, Saintess.”
Was he doing this on purpose, or was he serious?
Either way, he was a weirdo I couldn't keep up with.
“Keep your fucked-up fetishes to yourself, you piece of shit.”
Ptooey.
I spat in his face.
Fortunately, my spit landed on Priest Ronin's cheek.
He wiped away the spit mixed with phlegm using the back of his hand, then smiled faintly.
“You still have a long way to go.”
A long way?
You think I'm just going to sit here and be your cum receptacle?
Fuck off, you bastards.
I'd rather die.
“So, how does it feel to have your face back?”
“What?”
“Oh, did you not notice?”
He took out a small mirror.
A haggard girl stared back at me.
Right.
A girl.
My face wasn't horribly burned and disfigured beyond recognition as either male or female.
I trembled.
“H-how?”
“If we can regrow severed limbs without much trouble, why would burn scars be difficult?”
I hadn't thought it through.
I never did.
Careless and without a plan.
But come on, even for a fantasy world, that's too much.
How can you heal burns, too?
“To be honest, my heart nearly stopped when you hurt yourself, Saintess. Yes, I was quite angry. Why do you make my heart ache so?”
His precise, measured words sent a chill down my spine.
Because I knew he was genuinely angry.
“It seems it's time for punishment.”
Punishment.
Punishment.
That damned punishment.
I turned away and spat out a curse.
“Fuck, when have you ever rewarded me? You only ever punish me, then act like you've done something—hhng.”
Huh?
A thin moan slipped out.
My mouth closed on its own.
I couldn't understand why I'd made such a sound.
“Are you already curious about what punishment I'll give you?”
“Who said I was curious, you bas—hic, hic, ngh?”
I couldn't finish cursing.
My body grew hot, as if it had caught fire.
It felt like someone was forcibly pressing down on my arousal, again and again.
My crotch grew damp, and my stomach throbbed.
My head felt a little hazy, too.
A strange sensation.
The excitement was something I'd never felt as a man, and I felt like my head was breaking.
I was itchy.
It felt like ants were crawling over my body.
Itchy, itchy, itchy.
I want to scratch, I want to scratch.
I squeezed my legs together and tried to rub my crotch with my hand.
Clank, clank.
But my body wouldn't obey.
I was restrained, so my hand got caught before it could reach.
I want to scratch it.
I want to touch it.
Why can't I?
“W-what's this?! W-what is this, i-it feels so weird, h-heh. W-what did you do?!”
The words I managed to say were almost a sob.
It was ridiculous that I couldn't even speak properly.
That was a lie, actually.
I didn't even think it was ridiculous.
All I could feel was that my body was strange, and that it felt good.
It was itchy, and I wanted to scratch.
I wanted to put my fingers inside and touch myself.
“It's nothing much. I just used a little aphrodisiac. You're quite sensitive.”
“A-aphrodisiac?”
“They call it an incubus's pheromones, I think. I heard it's a potent poison that can ruin your brain if you have no resistance.”
A potent poison that could ruin my brain.
Was that why?
My thoughts began to blur agʔain.
I shook my head.
I was scared of being ruined.
I was scared of no longer being myself.
Was this what it felt like to become an idiot?
“Y-you, you did th-this, t-to m-me? N-now?”
“They say a woman's climax comes later than a man's.”
That was bullshit with absolutely nothing to do with the situation.
“W-what does th-that, e-even m-matter?”
“But I hear an incubus's pheromones can close that gap in an instant. Isn't that fascinating?”
Fascinating my ass.
That's why they call it an aphrodisiac, you moron.
“However…”
However?
“Apparently, the desire can only be satisfied through sex between a man and a woman. That's why it's called an incubus's pheromones.”
You sure bring in some truly fucked-up stuff.
Do you have some kind of dicktopia around here?
Even when I tried to curse him, my body was so heated I could barely make a sound.
Now only involuntary whimpers escaped my mouth.
My hips twitched and trembled.
“Haa, ahh, ugh, hhk, hng.”
It was itchy.
It tickled as if a feather were teasing my whole body.
My lower belly grew hot.
“Heh, hah, hng, ahh.”
Thick, viscous fluid trickled between my legs like morning dew.
It felt awful, all sticky.
Even when I tried to twist away, I couldn't move freely with my arms and legs restrained.
As I rubbed my thighs together, Priest Ronin smiled unpleasantly.
Ah.
To wake up and find myself in this state.
It couldn't be more fucked-up.
“Are you desperate?”
“Hah, hah……, ahh.”
Ronin's hand stroked the cleft between my thighs.
He'd dressed me in a robe but apparently left me without underwear; his fingers touched my pussy at once.
“Ngh, hng.”
I shuddered as if I'd been shot.
My body was far too sensitive.
My head felt like it was about to burst.
Squish, squish.
An embarrassing wet sound rang out.
You think I'll just let you do this?
I spasmed and kicked at Ronin's jaw.
He dodged it with ease.
It would've been strange if he hadn't dodged.
After all, I was shuddering with arousal.
The kick I managed in that state was nothing but a slow, clumsy flail.
“……Haa, hng.”
Thanks to my pointless resistance, my foot ended up on his shoulder.
The pose left my private parts fully exposed, making me feel ashamed.
“You held out your leg because you want me to fuck you. How eager.”
“F-fuck, who—?!”
“The way you're panting makes you seem like a bitch in heat. The very thing you hated being called, Saintess.”
“Hng, s-say, h-hic, whatever, y-you, want!”
His other hand gently fondled my left breast.
His fingers moved with practiced precision, meant to make me horny.
“Heh, ahh.”
Ridiculously, just the fact that he wasn't grabbing me roughly like the other bishops and priests was enough to make me feel good.
It was absurd.
Well, my body was soaked in aphrodisiac.
My sensitivity was incomparable to before.
The breast he toyed with tickled, then sent a jolt of pleasure through me.
My nipple stood stiffly, prominent beneath the robe.
Juice poured out of my pussy.
My cunt must have been opening and closing, desperate to be penetrated right then.
He skillfully pressed and teased each of my sensitive spots, setting them off one by one.
A heightened state, but not a full climax.
It felt good, but it was painful, too.
I felt like I was floating in the sky, but I couldn't feel complete pleasure.
Not enough.
This wasn't enough.
I was burning without being consumed.
I looked up at Ronin with desperate eyes.
If I asked this man, would he do it?
The moment I thought that, I went blank.
What?
If I asked him, he'd do it?
I'm crazy.
I'm crazy.
I've finally gone insane.
“Hng.”
Squish, squish.
Ronin continued to violate my body.
At this rate, I'd become an idiot.
I'd do nothing but pant and moan.
But I had no way to resist.
“Heh, d-don't touch me! I'm getting weird, I'm getting weird!”
The best I could do was say it aloud.
Don't do that. Stop.
That was all I could say.
As if he was going to stop just because I said so.
He stimulated both my breasts and crotch at the same time.
I felt like I was going insane.
It didn't feel like my body belonged to me.
I felt like I was about to come, but I couldn't.
Just as he'd said, it seemed I couldn't climax without a cock inside me.
My pupils went unfocused, and my hair stood on end.
Being on the verge of coming, again and again, without actually getting there was agonizing enough to kill me.
“Saintess, do you want me to hold you?”
Yes!
Yes!
I want you to ravage me inside.
I want you to violate me.
I want to moan like a slut as much as I want…….
Are you out of your fucking mind?
I bit my tongue.
I bit down hard enough to hurt, and tasted blood.
“F-fuck off, you, you, hng, bastard.”
Even as I trembled, I raised my middle finger.
You won't get your way!
You won't get what you want!
Perhaps he'd lost interest; he stopped caressing me.
My heated body felt the loss when his movements stopped so abruptly.
“……Huh?”
“Is that so? Then I'll withdraw.”
“W-what?”
“You said no. I stopped, just as you asked. Is there a problem?”
There was no problem.
There shouldn't have been.
But my body and mind wanted the pleasure he was giving me.
“Or did you perhaps want to be forced? How vulgar of you, Saintess.”
“N-no, hng.”
I bit my lip.
I turned my head away.
I didn't want him to see my slack expression.
“Perhaps that's what you're telling yourself. I'm resisting. Pleasure doesn't affect me. This isn't what I want. Do you want to hide behind those thoughts? Try being a little more honest about how good it feels.”
“Shut your mouth, you brain-damaged piece of shit!”
He stepped back.
Only my trembling breaths filled the room.
“Let me introduce you to the perfect one for a Saintess who's one thing on the outside and another on the inside. It's good with women.”
From Ronin's retreating hand, a writhing, crimson object fell to the floor.
I frowned and stared at it.
“A tentacle?”
It was a small tentacle covered in slime.
About the size of an adult man's palm.
At a glance, it could even look like a penis.
It slowly crawled toward me.
I squeezed my legs together and swallowed.
“I-it's coming over here, that thing?”
“I hope you have a pleasant time. I'll come back later.”
Creeeak.
Priest Ronin shut the door and left.
Leaving that thing behind.
“Y-you crazy bastard! D-don't go! You can't leave me with this! Hic!”
It came right up to me.
I tried to push it away with my legs, but it was stronger than I expected.
The tentacle crawled up my calf.
It was sticky and lukewarm, like boiled octopus.
“N-no.”
The tentacle moved toward the cleft between my thighs.
“……No, d-don't come in.”
It was a mindless creature. It wouldn't understand human speech.
The tentacle moved quickly.
My dampened entrance widened.
“Hng, ahh.”
It pushed its way inside.
My mouth gaped like a fish's, caught between pain and pleasure.
My belly churned.
It squelched.
“No, d-don't go in that far, d-don't.”
The tentacle squirmed inside my vagina.
My breathing grew ragged, and my face flushed.
I clenched my fingers and toes.
“Ah, ngh.”
I wanted to come.
But I couldn't.
This was strange.
My insides were so full.
Why?
The moans I'd been holding back burst out.
I even drooled, like a complete mess.
My consciousness began to fade again.
I wanted to go insane, but I couldn't even do that.
I cried out desperately.
I screamed.
“Make me come, m-make me, make me come!”
The closed Chamber of Repentance did not open for me. It would remain shut for the rest of the day.