Chapter 8
Now then, I've had a wonderful vacation, and I'm back in the basement...
What is this?
“A gift box?”
A gift box sitting on the break room table?
It's wrapped pretty carefully, too. Who sent it?
Did someone come by while I was gone?
Wait a minute!
Wasn't I the only one who could come to the break room?
It'd be a problem if anyone could just waltz in here.
Please respect my private space.
Ding!
====
[A Tower Notification!]
-A gift from the Tower to its new basement administrator!
====
“What? It was a gift from the Tower? Thank you! Thanks! Arigato!”
A gift from the Tower? That's definitely welcome.
I'm probably the only one who's ever gotten a gift directly from the Tower.
“Ooh...?”
A jumpsuit?
====
[Administrator's Work Uniform]
You can go anywhere in the Tower!
Travel through doors~
====
So if I wear this, I can go anywhere in the Tower.
Is that true?
Then can I go to deeper basement levels or even the upper floors?
“Great! Let's go try it right now!”
That means I can even go to unexplored areas humanity hasn't been allowed to enter yet.
Before that, let's log into Babel Tower Gallery and check the current state of the Tower's conquest...
====
Title: This Is the Power of America
Posted by: NewYorkFuckingMan
Behold the scenery on Floor 60, you lowly peasants.
And tremble in shock and awe!
You damn losers still playing around down below.
This is the power of the strongest country on Earth, America. Get it?
====
As you can tell from this arrogant, conceited American's post,
the United States has climbed the highest in the Tower, and only reached Floor 60 a month ago.
In other words, everything above that is uncharted territory.
They say Floor 60 itself is one enormous world.
Meaning nobody knows what things are like above it.
“But I wonder how many floors the top floor has.”
Everyone seems to think it's 100.
Is the Tower of Trials really only 100 floors tall?
Is there nothing above Floor 100?
Ding!
====
[Your goal!]
-Experience the Tower's top floor.
[Rewards!]
-7 bottles of almond water
-Access to the Constellation Community
※Warning. Your mind may collapse.
====
“...Huh?”
It wants me to experience the top floor?
No, how many floors is the top floor, anyway?
And what's with the reward?
The Constellation Community?
I mean, seven bottles of almond water means I can make Popo work for seven years, so I want to do it...
But that warning is terrifying!
My mind will collapse!
‘Wait, no. I have the antipsychotic filter!’
Right, I've got an insanely good antipsychotic filter!
Then there's nothing to be afraid of.
So, fearlessly thinking about the top floor, I opened the break room door...
[The antipsychotic filter activates.]
[Antipsy■chotic filter ■ctivates.]
[Antipsychotic ■ilter activates■■.]
[Antipsychotic fil■er activates.]
[Antipsy■chotic filter activat■■.]
[■ntipsychotic filter ■ctivates.]
[Antipsychotic ■■ activates.]
[■■■ filter ■■tivate■.]
[ERROR]
Bang!
“Hah... hah... Wh-what was that just now...?”
Shit. What the hell did I just see?
If I'd closed the door even a little later, my ego would've been devoured.
My mind got all tangled up, and when I recognized memories and perspectives that weren't mine, I felt like throwing up. I feel so sick.
All right, let's agree not to go above Floor 100 from now on...
“I really thought I was going to die.”
(I really thought I was going to die.)
?????
“Aah, fuck! I thought my language patch had gotten scrambled...!”
Why the hell did Japanese suddenly come out of my mouth?!
That seriously scared me.
My brain got all jumbled together like a nice meal, and Latin and Hebrew I'd never even learned almost started spilling out... No, I think I can still speak them.
I think I've just mastered every language on Earth.
Did I get some kind of new ability?
At this point, let's check my st?atus!★ window....
----
[Your st?atus!★ window]
[You are Ji Cheonwoo]
[Occupation? : Basement Administrator!]
[Level? : -3]
[Ability? : Administrator privileges! A million languages!]
[Singularity : Human (88% human)]
----
“Ooh! It really did add something to my abilities!”
A million languages, no less.
I guess that's why I can probably speak every language there is.
But doesn't my human percentage seem to have gone down?
Am I imagining it...
Ding!
[Check the Tower's top floor]
[A reward will be granted.]
Seven bottles of almond water!
I can enslave Popo-noona for seven years!
And the Constellation Community access thing whose purpose I don't understand?
What is that?
“....Ah.”
A new window appeared before my eyes.
It was some sort of community, very similar to Babel Tower Gallery.
But if there was one difference...
====
[Climbers desperately crawling upward are adorable (12)]
[Looking for Constellations to go wreck the basement (33)]
[Still pissed when I think about having my grimoires repossessed (43)]
[The Apostle I was raising died... So sad...ㅠㅠ (11)]
[My little brat turned into a total loser, wanna abandon him lol (28)]
====
So all the users on the Constellation Gallery were Constellations!
They were beings who helped and rewarded the climbers who followed them—in other words, their Apostles (climbers who follow Constellations).
Shit. Even Constellations use online forums now?
Well, Constellations must have accomplished everything there was to accomplish.
With nothing else to do, are they just raising human juniors and posting on the forum?
“Let's see. Wow... People are the same everywhere...”
It was a surprisingly human forum.
After browsing for a few hours to see what Constellations got up to, I found a post I couldn't just scroll past...
====
[Looking for Constellations to go wreck the basement (33)]
====
What the hell! The Constellations are itching to get me, too!
What's this? Am I some kind of superstar inside and outside the Tower?
And what is this plan to invade the Tower basement?
These guys are doing WWE, right?
Not UFC, right?
====
Title: Still Laughing?
Posted by: Frozen Heart
No, the Apostle I was raising got killed after his grimoire was stolen.
How the hell does that make any sense?
Why did the Basement Administrator suddenly show up?
And from what my kids are saying, apparently they're from Earth?
Why don't we all just storm the basement and wreck them?
====
“Whaaat!?”
This is real UFC!
They're genuinely out for blood!
W-what should I do now?
Should I hide in the break room?
Ding!
====
[Your goal!]
Reinforce Basement Floor 1 and stop the Constellations' minions.
[Rewards]
-Almond water vending machine
-Quest issuance license
※Warning. Hire at least two unemployed NEET entities as bodyguards.
====
“Oooh...?”
An almond water vending machine?
And a quest issuance license?
The warning says to hire unemployed NEET entities as bodyguards.
So I'm supposed to gather unemployed NEET entities on Basement Floor 1 and play defense?
“So, about that. Could you maybe go to Floor 1...?”
“Ah... Administrator, I'm terribly sorry, but... I can't leave Floor -2. What should I do...?”
“Aww...”
I asked the office worker, but got an apologetic answer...
As expected, entities already formally appointed by the Tower can't be sent to another floor on assignment.
Yeah, when you think about it, the office worker and the librarian are like floor masters.
Existing NPCs are no good.
I really need to find an entity who's actually unemployed and can move between floors.
Like Popo-noona, an entity who was fired from the basement and kicked out...
So in the end, do I have to find candidates for bodyguards outside the Tower?
Wait, how many days of leave do I have left?
Just two days! I have to find two of them in 48 hours!?
No, wait. I already have Ms. Popo, so I only need to find one more!
“Right. If Ms. Popo's with me... maybe it's possible...?”
If I fail, I'll lose the basement!
Let's use my leave quickly before the Constellations send down their minions.
******
What is a Constellation?
Those who have discarded their mortal bodies and ascended!
In exchange for being bound to the Tower, they receive commensurate rewards and treatment, like some kind of immortal.
That's what a Constellation is.
In truth, becoming a Constellation is fun at first, but it gets incredibly boring with time.
With the fear of death gone and no limit to their lifespans, they fall into boredom for an endless stretch of time.
It was true what they said about becoming a Constellation being torture.
In the end, tired of the tedium and boredom, the Constellations sought entertainment by helping or tormenting those climbing the Tower.
In short, interacting with Tower climbers was one of the few sources of dopamine for Constellations!
“But! How dare a mere human steal my entertainment!? My child is dead! I'm the one who's angry, Basement Administrator!”
The Constellation, Frozen Heart.
A Constellation with 15 Apostles.
She poured out her anger as she looked at the body of her beloved Apostle, who had died so pointlessly.
It was like a gamer whose account had been unfairly deleted!
“I will never forgive you.”
She wasn't the only one who was angry.
Several Constellations simultaneously sent quests to the Apostles they'd been raising!
====
[Constellation Quest Notification]
-Conquer the basement.
-Recover the stolen grimoires.
-Use any means necessary.
[Rewards]
-10 Affinity with your Patron
-Basement access
-2 Legendary Treasure Chests
====
The notification that multiple Constellations had simultaneously issued quests to conquer the basement provoked an explosive response from the many rankers and Hunters who were already dissatisfied with the basement.
Meanwhile, Basement Administrator Cheonwoo, unaware of any of this...
“Oh my! Miss, that work uniform looks so cool!”
“Hehe. Thank you. By the way, Ms. Popo.”
“Yes! I'm listening, miss!”
“Do you know any entities? Ones who are unemployed NEETs...”
“An entity I know?”
“Yes. I urgently need to hire one more entity right now.”
“Oh my! I can think of one, but... they're a pretty eccentric friend...”
“That's okay! I've got lots of almond water!”
Ji Cheonwoo discreetly showed off the almond water filling her bag.
For entities who had been fired and kicked out of the basement, almond water was nothing less than the water of life itself.
No matter how eccentric they were, there was no way they could refuse.
“Eeeek!? M-Miss... no, Master..! Wh-what is all this? One bottle, two, three... Oh my!”
“What do you think?”
“Let's go right now!”
Ji Cheonwoo took Popo's hand and they set off through the dark alleys in search of an entity.
Soon, someone appeared before them....
“Am I... pretty?”
It was an entity wearing a red mask.