Chapter 16
Why am I sleeping with Hyunwoo...?
I couldn't understand.
I vaguely remembered collapsing and Hyunwoo catching me, but...
After that, all I remembered was sleeping soundly.
Of course, I'd slept over at Hyunwoo's place a few times.
Especially near the end of the semester, we used to hang out so often that we'd sleep over at each other's houses and stay up all night.
But I swear, I'd never done anything as gay as sleeping in the same bed and clinging to each other like this.
'Both he and I are ordinary guys who like women.'
Though I still hadn't seen Hyunwoo show interest in anyone.
Hadn't he said himself that he didn't have any unusual tastes; he just hadn't met a woman who caught his eye?
He had the looks and the specs to charm any woman if he put his mind to it, yet he was so humble it was almost irritating.
Some of us didn't have the ability or the financial means to date, even if we wanted to.
Hyunwoo was so uninterested in anyone else that messing with me had become part of his daily routine.
'Why would someone like Hyunwoo be in the same bed as me...'
For a moment, an unpleasant thought crossed my mind.
What if Hyunwoo was actually a sexual deviant who was into girls with bodies this small?
What if he really had the same mindset as the people who'd reacted to the comment I'd posted on a forum before I died?
It was such a ridiculous, absurd thought that I shook my head hard from side to side, trying to calm myself.
If that were really the case, I wouldn't have had anything to do with Hyunwoo.
Even though there were quite a few elementary and middle schools near his house, I'd never once seen him so much as glance at the kids there.
I was sure that wasn't the reason.
'Besides, I'm a guy.'
Even if he were holding back, he wouldn't look at a male friend his own age that way.
That left only one likely explanation.
What I'd done in my sleep the night before was probably the reason things had turned out this way.
As I slowly retraced my memories, all kinds of emotions came rushing back, vague but overwhelming.
I didn't remember the details, but I knew I'd been trembling with fear before suddenly feeling warm and safe.
'Don't tell me I was trembling so hard Hyunwoo could see it?'
As I recalled the warm sensation on my head, like someone stroking me, and the sweet happiness wrapping around my whole body, I wondered if physical contact alone could have made me feel that way.
If that was what happened, then it wouldn't be unreasonable to think Hyunwoo had seen me trembling, worried over me for a long time, and then tried this and that to calm me down.
Hyunwoo had even said I reminded him of a cute pet.
If he'd hugged and stroked me to calm me down, like soothing a child, that would make sense.
'It's true that someone's warmth helps you calm down.'
I just hadn't expected that person to be a male friend my own age.
Back when I was left all alone, a teacher had hugged me once, so I knew the warmth of another person well.
'Normally, the fact that I'm already sleeping while cuddled up with Hyunwoo would be a deal-breaker...'
But this time, I didn't want to sully Hyunwoo's resolve to overcome his instinctive revulsion and climb into bed with me, even though he'd hesitated, all for my sake.
So this didn't count.
It was an unavoidable situation, and neither of us had slept in the same bed with any ulterior motives, so it was fine to call the whole thing off.
"......"
Hyunwoo was still sleeping soundly right in front of me, his unpleasantly handsome face close enough to touch.
His features were well-defined, and his skin was remarkably clear.
At any rate, I realized I had to wake Hyunwoo first if I wanted to escape his embrace and regain my freedom of movement.
Besides, something felt strange.
'...Come to think of it, I don't think I went to the bathroom yesterday...'
I felt a twinge in my lower abdomen, and my knees started to weaken.
A strange sensation, at once warm and chilly, spread through my whole body, making me tremble slightly.
Put bluntly, I felt like I was going crazy.
It felt dozens of times more distressing and ticklish than it had in my old body.
My entire body felt as if it had cramped up, and I couldn't move at all.
"...! Hey... Lee Hyunwoo...! Wake up!"
Since being more conscious of it made it harder to hold back, I managed to move my arm and pinched his cheek hard to wake him up.
I put my hand on Hyunwoo's cheek and squeezed my fingers as hard as I could...! Hard.
Huh?
'Why does it feel like I can't put any strength into it...?'
It felt far too strange to describe as simply being weak.
The joints of my fingers and my palm felt ticklish, and my whole hand was trembling.
And yet, I couldn't even feel like I was gripping Hyunwoo's cheek hard, which made the situation even more maddening.
Whether I needed the bathroom that badly or this body was just hopelessly weak, at this rate Hyunwoo wouldn't wake up even if I pinched him all day.
"...!"
In an instant, all the strength drained from my body, and I almost lost control of what I'd been holding in.
The thought that I'd nearly caused a major disaster made me even more frantic, and I clenched my lips tight.
'No. If we're talking about whether anything's leaked already, a little has...'
A strange cycle repeated: the urge to pee pressed hard against my lower abdomen, then eased as my muscles relaxed, only to tighten again, leaving me slightly relieved.
Just like yesterday, tiny amounts were leaking out—barely enough to notice, but enough to keep me from losing my mind. Frustrated, I clenched my fist and tried pounding Hyunwoo in the face.
Tap-tap-tap-tap!
A war was raging inside me, my stomach feeling as if it were splitting and my organs twisting, while my fist made a strangely cute sound—not even a heavy or dull thud.
I resented this frail body so much for not even being able to deal a single point of damage.
"......Hng."
After biting down so hard on my lips, tears trickled from my eyes from the pain.
Of course, it wasn't as fatal as getting hit in the groin back when I was a man, but there was another kind of wickedness in how it tormented me continuously.
It felt as if an angel and a devil were at odds inside my heart. Listening to their respective opinions, I could almost imagine them saying something like this.
'Just pee a little at a time in secret and let it dry. Hyunwoo probably won't wake up anyway, so do you really have to hold it?'
An opinion that was truly devilish.
'Even so, you can't do something bad in secret. Just let it all out and apologize.'
The angel's insane suggestion that followed left me feeling faint.
By then, my body and mind had reached their limits, and I was tacitly admitting I had no choice but to steel myself.
I couldn't think of any way to wake Hyunwoo with the strength I had right now.
'...Huh?'
Just then, I felt something getting in the way of my leg.
Since I was being held in Hyunwoo's arms, the difference in our heights meant my foot was between his legs.
I knew that if I moved my foot just a little, it would touch Hyunwoo's most vulnerable spot.
Even though it was a terrible place a man should never be touched, I couldn't afford to be picky right now.
'Sorry... Hyunwoo! But I can't pee here...!'
I offered him a heartfelt apology in my mind, then committed a horrible crime I didn't even want to imagine.
I thrashed around, barely managing to strike Hyunwoo's most vulnerable spot with my foot. His hold loosened, and I was free.
"Gyaaaah!"
Contrary to my expectations that it wouldn't hurt much since my body was so weak, Hyunwoo curled up and cried out in pain.
"I-I'm sorry!"
A deep wave of self-loathing and phantom pain surged through my chest.
Seeing Hyunwoo's reaction, I felt the pain in my own long-gone body flare up in sympathy.
They say every man's nerves are wirelessly connected down there, letting him share the same level of pain just by seeing someone else get hit.
'I think I understand what that means now...'
Realizing that whoever came up with that saying couldn't have been more right, I left Hyunwoo at death's door and scampered off, slamming the bathroom door shut!
I lifted the toilet seat, held my clothes in place with my chin, spread my legs, and started to pee...
Pssssss.
"Ah..."
I'd used the bathroom according to my usual habits, forgetting that my body had changed into a woman's, so my aim was completely off.
My body, expecting a laser beam, turned out to be a shotgun, and since I couldn't adjust the angle, I watched the pellets patter onto the floor.
"......"
In the end, all I'd wanted was to use the bathroom, but now I had to shower, too.
I resented the sticky floor and the strange, unpleasant sensation on my thighs.
If I'd known this would happen, I wouldn't have rushed over in such a hurry, even at the cost of Hyunwoo's precious...
"Haaah...! Hah...! Cough... hack... ugh..."
To block out Hyunwoo's pained sounds coming from far away, I desperately covered my ears and turned on the shower.
'Hmm... The water's cold.'