Chapter 3
"......"
The space around me was covered in nothing but white.
I realized I was lying in a bed, alone and trapped in this large room.
As I struggled to sit up, I finally noticed how uncomfortable my neck felt.
It was wrapped in so much bandage that even moving felt stiff and painful.
I slowly looked down, and the blanket slid away. It didn't take long to notice that my clothes had changed into a white hospital gown, too.
'I'm alive... after all.'
As the pain in my neck gradually stabbed at me, it began to sink in that I hadn't died.
I couldn't decide whether I should be sad or glad that I'd failed.
Even though, in the end, I'd sent out an SOS for the absurd reason that tteokbokki looked delicious, I'd tried to hang myself in the first place because I wanted to die.
Even though my life was set to be nothing but rock bottom, with nothing good waiting for me, I'd stubbornly struggled, inconvenienced someone, and gotten help, shamefully prolonging my life.
A selfish person who deserved to be called a parasite.
That's why I'd said goodbye to the world, but this trash-like nature of mine had desperately latched onto someone kind and managed to survive.
'I'll probably keep causing trouble for so many people as I go on living...'
Just thinking about it felt like shards of glass were being driven into my heart again.
Countless fragments pierced my body, tormenting me as if they were tearing me to shreds.
The glass they'd come from was a mirror.
I realized the mirror reflecting my outward appearance on the outside and my inner self on the inside had shattered, its pieces lodged in me.
- Rrrr...
And that meant...
"Uh... are you okay? Is your body all right?"
The boundary between my inner and outer self had crumbled, meaning the other person could see inside me, too. My ugly, filthy, broken inner self.
Maybe he'd heard me rustling and realized I was awake. The curtain slowly opened, and someone awkwardly voiced his concern.
He seemed unfamiliar with what to do, at a loss, but the kindness within him shone through plainly.
I saw Hyunwoo.
'I see. Hyunwoo heard my voice and came running, so I survived.'
Thanks to that, I was able to piece together what had happened.
Thinking that he'd somehow decided to save a girl whose identity he didn't even know amid that horrific, hellish scene, I suddenly started to feel like he wasn't the Hyunwoo I knew.
"Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks, Hyunwoo."
Still, the fact remained that he'd helped me, and I was alive, so I sincerely thanked him for his kindness.
After all, more than a year had already flown by.
Maybe the ironclad rule he'd always stuck to—that he wouldn't lay a hand on another woman—had finally been broken.
"You saved my life... Thank you for listening when I asked you to save me."
I couldn't think of any appropriate gesture, so I simply bowed my head deeply and thanked him once more.
After all, not only had I suddenly ruined Hyunwoo's appetite while he was eating, I'd made him worry, too...
And he'd even helped move my body here when I couldn't move.
All I had was this small, weak body, which couldn't help anyone at all, and the meager 3 million won I'd saved up.
My neck was already so deeply cut that, if I needed surgery to stitch it up, I wouldn't have a single coin left to offer him as thanks. I was too ashamed to raise my head.
'Maybe I should've just died...'
'...??'
Just as I was sinking into pessimistic thoughts again, I felt something slip under my chin and gently lift my head.
Puzzled, I looked straight ahead and easily saw that Hyunwoo was lifting my chin with his finger.
"......"
"......"
He stared at my face for several seconds without saying a word, then seemed to come to his senses and started moving again.
"Your neck. Try not to move it around, and keep it straight. They say you'll get better faster if you stay still."
"Ah... yeah."
He slowly let go of my chin, and Hyunwoo's face, which had come so close to mine, moved away again.
'What was that...? A health check?'
Honestly, I didn't understand what he was doing, but the kindness in his words and his warm, reassuring smile slowly melted my frozen heart.
The sharp shards of glass lodged in me had melted away, seeping in as warmth, like a piece of ice melting and disappearing.
Thanks to that, my body, which had been curled up just moments ago, began to relax.
"By the way, who are you? Since you came from Minseo's place, I figure you must have some connection to them..."
As expected, Hyunwoo had no idea who I was, so he started by asking about my identity.
Even then, he asked slowly and cautiously, as if trying to be considerate of the unfamiliar child in front of him. For some reason, I found it a little funny.
The same fearless, no-holds-barred Hyunwoo... His timid behavior made me wonder if he was really the same person.
Still, I could clearly feel how much he was looking after me, and a smile came to my lips on its own.
'I don't know if you'll believe me.'
"Um... would you believe me if I said I'm Minseo? I woke up and found I'd turned into a girl. Hahaha..."
I explained the truth to Hyunwoo with an awkward smile. As expected, he looked like he couldn't believe me.
'Of course... there's no way anyone would believe a ridiculous story like this.'
It was the kind of nonsense people had dismissed as a joke even on an online community full of people.
How many people would believe something so unrealistic?
"...You. What did you call me back in middle school?"
Just as I was about to give up hope, Hyunwoo asked me something to confirm my identity.
My heart, which had been slowly letting go of hope, wouldn't allow me to give it up completely.
"Bitch?"
When I said the teasing nickname he'd used because I was weak, feeble, and quiet, Hyunwoo's eyes widened slightly.
He kept groaning and making pained sounds, as if he were thinking hard about something.
The gulf between the 130-centimeter-tall girl in front of him and his friend of eight years was probably tormenting him, making him unwilling to accept the truth.
Thinking I might keep Hyunwoo stuck here all day if I let things go on like this, I decided to speak first.
"I'm sorry. It's been so long since I contacted you, and all I've done is cause trouble. I'm okay now. I'll take care of getting the wound stitched up myself."
I meant to stop there, but the words kept circling in my mouth, and I ended up saying the one thing weighing most heavily on my heart.
"...I'm sorry. Really. I'll find a way to pay you back, even if I have to give up on the surgery."
After imposing on him this much, I couldn't bring myself to be any more shameless.
No matter how I thought about it, not giving anything back to the person who'd saved my life felt like an enormous imposition.
Without thinking, I made a promise about a future I didn't have.
'Right. I'm really going to die tomorrow anyway, so there's no point getting treatment. I'd be better off paying Hyunwoo back even a little before I go.'
If I'd failed to hang myself because the knot wasn't strong enough, I could always jump into a river instead.
I could even jump out of this hospital room's window right now.
Since I could die whenever I wanted, I wanted to repay Hyunwoo for everything I'd put him through.
"They said I don't need stitches."
"Yeah. Even so... Huh? What did you say...?"
"Apparently the wound isn't as deep as you'd think. I heal quickly, so if they just give me some simple treatment and let me rest, I'll be better in a few days."
Hyunwoo's unexpected words caught me off guard for a moment.
Just like that, the lead in the conversation slipped away from me and into Hyunwoo's hands.
"So? Why'd you suddenly try to kill yourself? Don't try to deny it. Anyone could see you looked like you were about to die."
As expected, I couldn't brush off the question about my suicide. He pinpointed what he wanted to know and asked me directly.
'It's not the most pleasant thing to talk about.'
Still, there was no way I could ignore a question from the person who'd saved my life, so I started answering properly.
Even back when we were in school, he hadn't shown much interest in how I talked about death all the time.
Maybe he'd lose interest surprisingly easily and leave me to kill myself.
"Well... I mean, I ended up like this, right? I don't have a resident registration number, so I can't get a job... I can't do physical labor, and I don't want to live pathetically by selling my body to some stranger."
Even though I was just telling him the truth, my voice gradually grew quieter.
'I'm scared...'
Hyunwoo was glaring at me, his face growing more and more tense.
On top of that, because I'd gotten so small, his face looked several times larger, filling my view and frightening me.
'...I kind of feel like I need to pee, too.'
"So, you had no money and no prospects, and decided to kill yourself before poverty killed you?"
Nod, nod.
My voice wouldn't come out properly anymore, so I answered by vigorously nodding my head.
"By the way, Minseo. How much money do you have?"
"......Three million won."
"Send all of it to my account."
Then, without even a hint of hesitation, he told me to transfer my money into his account with a single sentence.
It didn't exactly feel good, but I was going to die tomorrow anyway.
'It's not so terrible to leave my entire fortune to the person who saved my life.'
"And when you're discharged, come live at my place starting tomorrow. You probably don't have any stuff anyway, so just come as you are."
'Huh...?'
His sudden, absurd offer left me staring at him in confusion.
"You said your problems were having no home, no money, and no food. I'll provide all that, so live at my place. What, you don't want to?"
"It's not that... but why would you go that far...?"
"...Well. Normally, I'm the type who doesn't stop people if they want to die."
Hyunwoo fell silent for a moment, closed his eyes, then opened them again.
"Because you're cute."
And so, for the sole reason that I was 'cute,' I ended up living with Hyunwoo.