Chapter 48
It feels as though everything that happened just moments ago was a lie.
I thought I’d taken care to say something that was hard to say... but was it something obvious to Hyunwoo?
He’d only looked a little flustered, then confidently fired back that he liked me too.
He seemed so practiced that I wondered if my words had sounded insincere.
Well, the omurice turned out pretty, so I don’t think it matters much.
"Hyunwoo."
"Yeah. What is it?"
"Do people normally learn how to arrange things like this when they learn to cook?"
The egg was set in a neat circle on a white plate, so perfectly balanced that I asked to satisfy my curiosity.
"...No?"
In short, he hadn’t learned anything in particular.
"Not really. Where I learned, I just focused on making things that looked impressive, and I got used to it."
"Then are you going to become a chef someday, Hyunwoo?"
"I guess? It won’t be easy, though. If that doesn’t work out, maybe I’ll open a small place."
Self-employment. The path so many people take, only to get crushed by the big franchises and end up out on the street...
Since I’d heard plenty about it, I couldn’t exactly look at it positively.
"It’ll go well. Your food is delicious, Hyunwoo!"
Still, if it was Hyunwoo, I felt like he could make it work.
I put all the hope I could into those words, smiled brightly, and returned them to Hyunwoo.
It’s strange. I’d become someone who could say such baseless things so easily.
It was enough to make me wonder if the child smiling right now was really me.
Someone who could feel more than friendship for Hyunwoo, smile at him without holding back, and throw her arms around him.
If I define the person I was before becoming like this, then am I still me now?
Can I still call myself Kim Minseo?
A faint sense of déjà vu rose in my heart and faded, but my life now felt as if a wonderfully refreshing breeze were blowing through it, so I let the feeling pass without thinking.
Maybe my mind really had gotten simpler, because rather than think about something so complicated, I wanted to eat the delicious omurice in front of me.
"...But we’re going to share the same spoon anyway, aren’t we? Is there any need to prepare a separate plate for my portion...?"
"Still... I feel a little bad making you eat straight from the frying pan."
"It’s not like we’re serving it to anyone else. What’s the big deal? Washing dishes is a pain, right?"
Before Hyunwoo could stop me, I poured the omurice from the carefully arranged plate into his frying pan.
I should save wherever I can. Yeah.
Maybe it was Hyunwoo’s particular compulsion: presentation was part of cooking, and anything served to someone else had to be perfect...
But I wasn’t some stranger. I was practically family, so I didn’t care about that.
Besides, we were already sharing a spoon, so why worry about it?
...Though the biggest reason was that I’d gotten bad at using utensils.
"Still... doesn’t it look way less appetizing like this?"
Hyunwoo was still making silly remarks, apparently not understanding what I meant.
"I already know it’s delicious. It’s your cooking, Hyunwoo."
"...I hope I get to see you cook someday, Minseo."
"With this body...?"
"Miso soup would be nice. Every morning..."
"...?"
"I mean, I love you."
I was sincerely complimenting Hyunwoo, not joking around...
In the end, Hyunwoo gave me that usual sly smile and stroked my head.
...I feel like I’m getting weaker and weaker when it comes to head pats... This body...
Is Hyunwoo just really good at it...?
"Heehee..."
But I felt good, so I didn’t mind.
I’d already thrown away the pride I’d had in my old self when I called him for help over the phone.
"Minseo. I’m going to ask you something light, okay? Can you answer? First, say ah."
"Ah."
Hyunwoo suddenly grew quite serious, but kept smiling to hide it.
For a moment, I had a bad feeling and wondered if I’d done something wrong...
But he said it was just a light question, so he wouldn’t get mad, right?
"Why did you suddenly collapse today? I was really worried, you know?"
"Kehk... Cough... Water...!"
An uppercut landed on me just as I absentmindedly accepted the first bite Hyunwoo fed me.
You said it was going to be a light question...!
It felt like I’d eaten ten sweet potatoes without a drop of water.
...A bed of nails. Was I sitting on Hyunwoo’s lap, or on a bed of nails?
"Here. Water."
"...Pwaah!"
If Hyunwoo had been just a little later with the water, I would’ve suffocated to death.
Anyway, I really was getting scolded after all...
Of course... I’d broken my promise not to go out.
"I-It was just that Hyuna said we should go outside... Right, Hyuna?"
I wasn’t going to be the only one to die...!
To lessen my guilt even a little, I reluctantly used the ‘if I go down, you’re coming with me’ tactic.
When it came to Hyuna, I didn’t feel even a little guilty.
But...
"Hyuna...?"
No answer came.
Wh-where did she go?
"Hyuna went home a little while ago. She said something urgent came up."
"...Really?"
"Anyway, you collapsed while trying to go outside?"
ㅡ Poke. Poke.
The spoon poked my cheek again.
Was he planning to feed me a bite every time he asked a question?
This is cruel, even for Hyunwoo... Is he really that mad...?
"Hyunwoo... I’m sorry..."
"Eat this and answer."
"Okay..."
In the end, feeling dejected, I had to endure the torture Hyunwoo was putting me through.
I can’t breathe...! The mood is so heavy... I can’t swallow my food!
"...Gulp. I’m sorry... I won’t go out again..."
I forced the rice down my throat, then lowered my head and apologized to Hyunwoo.
Hyunwoo was terrifying, grinning as he put me through this torture as if it were business as usual...
"Why are you apologizing? I’m just asking why you collapsed."
"......"
It seemed he was well and truly furious.
This didn’t seem like the kind of thing an apology could fix...
"I saw the bloodstain left from when I scraped my foot last time while I was going down the stairs... and suddenly everything around me turned red."
"...Were you scared?"
"Yeah..."
ㅡ Squeeze.
Hyunwoo set down his spoon, moved his arms, and hugged me tight.
What...? Wasn’t this supposed to be a scolding?
Of course, his embrace was warm and nice...
But why did his kindness, for no apparent reason, feel so frightening right now...?
"I’ll clean all of that up tomorrow."
"...Wouldn’t it be better to leave it there, so I won’t go out?"
"Forcibly stopping you would be a shitty thing to do."
"......"
"I want to respect you, Minseo. I want you to stay by my side of your own free will. Otherwise, I would’ve put you in shackles or something."
Now that I heard him say it, he had a point.
So in the end, even while saying things that made me sound like a pet, Hyunwoo had been treating me with respect as a person.
...What do I do? I think I’m getting happier than I should...
I don’t look weird smiling, do I...?
ㅡ Smack.
"Huh?"
Then I felt a warm touch on my cheek.
I instinctively turned toward Hyunwoo, and the person who’d kissed me gave me a faint smile.
I felt it again: he’s ridiculously handsome for no reason...
"I don’t want you to feel too anxious. I’ll protect you as much as I can. From now on, too."
"...Yeah."
It was hard to reject him in this mood, so I just nodded.
What was this feeling? It wasn’t my heart, exactly... but the area around it was getting hot and ticklish.
"By the way, didn’t you dislike Hyuna? Why were you trying to go out with her?"
The suffocating mood from earlier softened in an instant.
Now it wasn’t so hard to speak.
Had he been considerate because I was so scared?
He really was too nice...
"I was bored and cooped up..."
"......"
"Honestly, it was hard waiting in a house with nothing to do... Hehe... I’m shameless, aren’t I? Sorry... Even though I’ve already been imposing on you so much."
At my words, Hyunwoo’s face stiffened again, just as expected.
This time, the shock seemed so great he couldn’t even control his expression.
Now that I was just laying out the objective facts, I really was nothing but a burden to Hyunwoo...
Did I say I liked him for no reason today?
"Phew..."
Hyunwoo let out a small sigh.
I could feel his body trembling and his arms tightening around me.
It made sense. I’d already promised twice, then broken my word unilaterally...
"Hey, Kim Minseo... are you stupid?"
In the end, Hyunwoo couldn’t hold it in any longer and spoke up first.
Ah. I was really going to get chewed out.
I could tell instinctively. Even if it hadn’t lasted long, this was how my boss’s reprimands used to start.
I had no complaints. Hyunwoo was the boss, and I was the subordinate.
That fact hadn’t changed.
"I’m sorry..."
I had nothing to say.
Even if I had ten mouths, what could I possibly say at a moment like this?
No matter how I dressed up my apology, it would just sound like a joke, so I apologized honestly.
Simply and plainly. Trying to keep the emotional toll to a minimum.
But what I heard from Hyunwoo was...
"You should’ve told me that...! Ha... I’d been wondering if you were bored, or if things were hard for you even on ordinary days..."
"Huh... What?"
"It’s fine. I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention. I’ll buy you some things to do tomorrow."
Rather than criticize me, Hyunwoo blamed himself, repeatedly saying he was relieved.
I wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but had things worked out...?
"Minseo, you said it. That you liked me."
"Yeah... I did, didn’t I..."
"If you like me, then I love you, okay? So please tell me about that kind of thing... Don’t make me worry."
"Okay..."
I guess saying he loved me was Hyunwoo’s way of telling me he cared about me just as much, in his own way?
The fact that he’d used such an intense... easily misunderstood metaphor to warn me meant I’d made him worry a lot.
"I’m sorry... I’ll tell you right away from now on."
I thought I’d become honest enough, but maybe I still hadn’t gotten rid of all my old bad habits?
The habit of watching other people’s reactions and not saying what I wanted...
I needed to get rid of that, at least when I was with Hyunwoo.
"Don’t say you’re sorry. Say you love me from now on instead."
"...Huh?"
"It’s better if you’re smiling."
I still didn’t really understand Hyunwoo’s feelings, but...