Chapter 17
[Title : Cookie Review] [Author : ㅇㅇ]
(frog smoking meme)
Yeah, I'm here.
Actually, there's no such thing, bro.
Because…
(frog coming at you with a knife meme)
Fuuuuuuucking bastards took all of mine.
Comments
ㅇㅇ : LMAOOOO
ㅇㅇ : Why are they your cookies?
ㅇㅇ : They were fucking delicious lol
[Title : Cookie Review]
[Author : Small-Streamer Expert]
(cookie photo)
I took this picture right after receiving them today.
There were 3 cookies, just like in the picture, and they even had handwritten storage instructions.
I was a little disappointed when she said there'd only be 3 on stream, but I was surprised when the box felt heavier than I expected.
(photo comparing it to a hand)
As you can see, they're fuuuuucking huge.
The flavor was seriously fucking delicious, though my vocabulary sucks too much to describe it properly.
I brewed some coffee and ate them together, and it was fucking great.
I don't think I'll be able to eat cookies from ordinary places anymore.
In conclusion, they were fucking delicious. I don't really have anything else to say.
If she does something like this again, I'm definitely participatingㅇㅇ
Three-Line Summary
1. Fucking delicious
2. No one here missed out, right?
3. LOL
Comments
ㅇㅇ : Hand one over.
ㅇㅇ : Why only you? Why only you? Why only you?
ㄴ : Wow, fuck, that looks insanely good.
ㄴ : Best cookies I've ever eaten in my life.
ㅇㅇ : I wonder how they'd compare to famous American cookies.
ㄴ : What do you mean, how, you asshole? The overhyping is fucking ridiculous.
[Title : Don't Bait ㄴ]
[Author : ㅇㅇ]
Why are you sucking up so hard to a bitch with no experience and nothing to her name?
Her usual cooking is at the level of a jobless shut-in cooking at home, too.
And just look at how she doesn't show her face—you can already tell she's got a bucket for a face.
Tsk, tsk, at the idiots who simp for a bitch like that.
And I'm not curious about the cookies either, so get lost back to your own gallery.
Also, putting chocolate in flour would make it delicious even if some stray mutt did it.
Comments
ㅇㅇ : Seriously, why is this guy so mad? I genuinely don't know.
ㅇㅇ : If that username is fucking obvious, upvote.
ㄴ : All good.
ㄴ : Orphan upvote.
ㅇㅇ : Seriously, why are you sucking up so hard? I don't even know if she can cook well;;
[Title : But isn't that illegal?]
[Author : ㅇㅇ]
I don't know the details, but I think it violates the Food Sanitation Act even if you're not selling them for money.
Comments
ㅇㅇ : Yeah, that's why I reported it.
ㄴ : Are you a clueless shut-in? She already said she's operating a properly licensed shop.
ㄴ : Your mom.
***
After continuously refreshing the review board on my computer, I suddenly noticed that my right hand still felt stiff.
Maybe it was because I hadn't held a pen in so long; even after several days, my grip still felt tingly.
I could hold cooking utensils all day without a problem, but it happened every time I held a pen.
‘Is that why I never studied?’
It can't be helped.
After finishing my usual self-justification, I remembered what had caused this whole situation.
They say if you're stupid, your body suffers. I should've explained the storage method on stream.
It was only after ending the stream that I realized I hadn't said anything about it.
I considered turning the stream back on to tell them, but since I was doing it anyway, I decided to do it properly, wrote the instructions out by hand, and attached them to the packages.
But these bastards must have received all their packages by now. When are they going to post their reviews?
I'd even made a review board in the café for their convenience, but the screen was still spotless, as though it were proudly showing off how new it was.
Damn bastards. Give me back my cookies.
As I aimlessly spent time refreshing the board that never updated, my phone rang.
“Who is it? I don't think I was expecting any calls today.”
When I picked up the phone lying face-down, the Soup Bandit's name was displayed on the screen.
“What's up with this person?”
It was the first time she'd contacted me since coming over to eat last time.
Since she was a busy person, I assumed that was why. I had been busy in my own way too, so it felt like it had been even longer.
Not that I had any excuse to contact her first, either.
When I answered, I heard her lively voice.
“Long time no see. How've you been?”
“Yeah, sis. I'm the same as always. Anyway, what's up? Were you planning to come over for a meal tomorrow?”
“No, not that. Do you have any plans this weekend?”
Plans? Let's see. On the weekend, I'd eat, play, stream… It was my usual routine.
“No. Besides streaming, I don't really have anything scheduled right now.”
“Really? Then would you like to do a collab?”
A collab? Me? That? Why?
Do I really need to do that?
And Sis Haeun was a cam streamer. What reason did I have to do it when I hadn't even shown my face?
Especially after that little thing we got involved in last time had caused such a shitshow.
Just as I was about to refuse, she spoke again.
“Did I ever tell you that I've watched your YouTube?”
“I don't think you ever said that, but you did watch it, right?”
And you're watching it right now, too. It's more entertaining than I expected. I guess this is what the big leagues taste like.
“Yeah. Anyway, I'm thinking of doing something like a cooking competition with some streamer friends who appeared in my videos.”
A competition, huh. Hmm. What would I gain from entering one?
Just as I was about to think it over, her voice came through the phone again.
“It's not going to be anything that grand. There are a few people like me who are interested in food. We get together now and then to hang out and do this and that, and this time I thought we'd try cooking.”
She added that it had also reminded her of a cooking variety show that used to be popular.
Ah. So it was only called a competition; it was really just collab content between close colleagues.
“Yeah. There'll be about three or four of us, and we're just going to rent a cooking facility for a few hours.”
Her explanation brought a question to mind.
Why ask me to a place like that? Were we really that close?
“Haha. Are you wondering why I'd ask you to a place like that?”
I flinched inwardly. Could this woman read minds too?
“Well, to get straight to the point, I tried your cooking last time and thought you seemed skilled. No, it was just fucking amazing.”
She continued after a small sigh.
“But I, like the others, only know how to eat; I'm not confident about cooking. So I was wondering if there was anyone I knew who streamed and cooked well, and then I thought of you.”
Hah. Praise for my cooking always feels good, no matter how many times I hear it.
Just as I was about to answer, she hesitated and spoke again.
“I feel like I'm tooting my own horn by saying this, but… I'm kind of a big-name streamer, right? Wouldn't having you appear help your stream?”
I nodded at that.
She wasn't wrong. It would probably help in many ways. Still, I didn't want to decide too hastily.
I asked her to give me a moment to think and began calculating in my head.
What would I gain by joining them?
First, new viewers.
A collab with a major streamer was certainly worth hoping for.
But I didn't have that much streaming ambition, and the more viewers I had, the harder they would be to manage.
So, pass.
Next was name recognition.
I wasn't making a living by selling my face, so this was a pass too.
And if recognition had mattered to me, I would've simply shown my face and streamed.
It's a little embarrassing to say this myself, but I think I have enough to offer as it is.
The desire for recognition.
This one was somewhat tempting.
But after thinking about it a little more, I was already reasonably satisfied with the viewers in my own room, even if it wasn't perfect.
So this one didn't interest me much either.
Then what were the downsides?
Just appearing there would have countless cameras trained on me.
I might make an inadvertent slip of the tongue or some other mistake on a major stream and suffer a second wave of attacks, for example.
Or there was the possibility of my identity being exposed, though that wasn't impossible even now.
When I calculated everything out, all I would gain was having my desire for recognition filled a little more.
But did I really need to go that far?
If it ever became truly unbearable, I could distribute food like I had with these cookies, or, as a last resort, invite them under the pretext of a viewer-participation stream and cook for them.
The important thing was that there was no urgency right now.
I organized my thoughts and answered her.
“No, it's okay. I know it's a good opportunity, and I'm grateful that you thought of me, but I'm not really interested right now. I'm sorry, especially since you offered me such a good opportunity.”
“Huh? No, it's fine. Even I thought it was kind of out of the blue..”
“Yes, sis. Thank you.”
I told her again not to worry about it and that I'd come over for a meal again sometime soon, then ended the call.
“Next time she comes, I should put a little more effort into her meal.”
After deciding how I'd make it up to her for turning her down, I was about to check the café again, but decided I'd talk about it on stream later and dove onto my bed.
While lying there and looking at my phone, I suddenly remembered our poor friend Haranggae.
Curious whether Haranggae was still going around writing insults about me, I accessed the community where he was always lurking, only to find…
“Oh, for fuck's sake. These damn bastards, seriously.”
Posts titled ‘Cookie Proof’ were appearing here and there from the very first page.
I'd even made a board for writing reviews, so why had they all written them here instead?
I grumbled as I read the reviews, but most of them were saying the cookies were delicious.
The corners of my mouth slowly rose.
This feels good. Looks like turning down the collab was the right call after all. This is still enough for me.
Forgetting my original purpose, I searched for review posts and found one with an unusually large number of comments.
“Was this place always this active?”
As far as I knew, true to its name, the Small-Time Streamer Gallery should have been tiny itself.
I clicked the post out of curiosity and immediately realized why.
“Huh. This bastard.”
It was clearly a throwaway username, but the content made it obvious who had written it, as if I'd activated the Byakugan.
It was full of abuse aimed at my appearance and cooking, along with insults directed at my viewers.
The comments were nothing but exchanges of vicious insults with people who seemed to be my viewers.
“You can insult my viewers, sure. My appearance too. But you're insulting my cooking? Without even trying it?”
The reasonable thought that he hadn't had an opportunity to eat it was pushed aside, and the fact that my cooking had been insulted limited my thinking like a racehorse's blinders.
I immediately closed the community window, opened my recent call list, and placed a call.
After waiting for a moment as it rang, I soon heard Sis Haeun's voice.
“Yeah. What is it?”
“Sis. You said it was this week, right? Is there still room?”
Can't cook? I'll make you take a loss.