Chapter 4
I put the stir-fried jeyuk on a plate, dished out a bowl of rice, and sat down at the table.
I set up the camera again, too.
“Ta-da. Looks delicious, right?”
I held the plate toward the camera so the meat would be clearly visible.
The reactions came immediately.
-Ohhh my
-Jeyuk for dinner tonight.
-Look at that color.
Whew. This is it. These were exactly the reactions I wanted. I wanted to see the viewers' reactions after they ate, too, but that couldn't be helped.
-Is this an eating stream?
-Face reveal, let's go~
-Show us, show us
“That might be a little….”
A face reveal? That was a bit much right now. It was a shame, but what could I do?
When I said I'd do it someday, the viewers flooded the chat with “downfall.”
I gave them a few appropriate replies, then took a big spoonful of rice, put a piece of meat on top, and popped it into my mouth.
“Ah, hot!”
That whole moment went out into the world exactly as it was.
-Looooooooool
-Did it go in and come back out?
-Gasp
It was a disaster caused by being so hungry that I'd forgotten hot food was hot.
I was almost embarrassed at the thought of people watching me.
But then I remembered that they couldn't see my face. At times like this, you had to brazen it out.
“What do you mean, went in and came out? It got entrance-cut, guys—like you—was what I almost said. Anyway, I'll try eating again.”
Ignoring the hooks coming my way, I blew on it this time and ate the rice and meat.
“As expected, it's delicious. I told you, I make incredible jeyuk, didn't I?”
-Food porn
-It really does look delicious
-When the hell is my delivery getting here?! I'm dying over here!!
“It'd be nice if you could taste it, too. What a shame. If you come find where I am, I'll make you a meal.”
-??
-Where is it?
“Korea.”
-You're seriously making me crave it
Uh-oh. Why's that one turning black? Please don't.
After that, I ate while chatting with the viewers about this and that. The viewer count rose quite a bit, approaching twenty.
Then a question suddenly occurred to me.
“By the way, guys. Why do you watch my stream?”
-?
-Okay, take care.
-I'm off—don't announce it~
“Ah. Sorry, sorry. That wasn't what I meant. I mean, there wasn't a single viewer until yesterday, right?”
It wasn't like I'd promoted myself, either. How had these people found this place?
-Well, that's…
-There, we've told you.
-Lol
“No, no. I was just curious. Yesterday and today, I cooked and ate, but the viewer count stayed at one the whole time.”
No one had been watching, so what was this? Was it you, An?
[ㅇㅇ donated 1,000 won!]
Link
“What's this? Is it one of those things where if you click it, your bank account gets drained?”
Joking around, I clicked the link and went to the site.
There were several GIFs of me cooking yesterday.
No matter how I looked at it, this was definitely… I scrolled down to the comments, and sure enough, they were packed with compliments about my body.
“Huh…. I guess these people aren't Korean?”
-That's true.
-Yeah, I'm Azerbaijani too.
-Your Korean is pretty good.
I'd thought the chat seemed a little too lewd. So they were people from a spicy site to begin with.
For a while, I silently glared at the chat window.
-Abnormaliiiiity
-My cat got on the keyboard.
-Yeah, I didn't do it.
Good grief. Having been a man in my previous life, how could I not understand what was going through their minds? Oh, you sad creatures with two brains.
“Keep it reasonable. Just don't cross the line. And preferably, I'd rather not have fellow Koreans here.”
How many trolls had I dealt with in my life? Let's all behave ourselves.
-The line?
-At least the baby won't go hungry.
All right, I'd let that slide.
-You fucking suck at cooking.
Click.
-Looooooooooooooooool
-Lol, look at that speed
-Line check
They were insulting my cooking. Unforgivable.
“Use your judgment. Haven't you been in the military? If you're wondering whether something is okay, don't do it.”
-Yes, ma'am.
-Military?
-Brother Namgung, how do you know that?
-You must've heard it from your boyfriend.
-A man? Boo, my horns hurt.
-The simps have already started building nests.
These crazy people. I couldn't understand how the conversation kept going off in such bizarre directions.
“What boyfriend? You can find that just by searching the internet. And you, Prostate Happiness Button? What kind of username is that?”
Come here.
The chat filled with messages of “gasp.” What were they gasping about?
“Happiness? I only just met you today. Why are your horns hurting?”
They were already calling themselves vicious unicorn lovers. They were moving way too fast. It was horrifying.
Prostate Happiness Button: A man's ideal type is a woman he's seeing for the first time.
Hmm…. As frustrating as it was, that did seem true. Still, they were viewers who'd come to see me. What's good is good.
“Fine, let's say that's true. But what does this username mean? Prostate Happiness Button? Isn't the prostate inside the body? Is there even such a thing as a button? Wait. When I search it on the internet, it says it's a sitz bath. Do you have hemorrhoids?”
-Gasp
-That's…
-Lol, this is too much of a public execution.
-Looooooooooooooooool, fuck
Public execution? Why were they acting like that? I was really just asking because I was curious.
“Answer me. I'm genuinely curious. I don't have any other intention, I swear.”
-Oppa, tell us honestly.
-You know, but you're pretending not to, you know, but you're pretending not to.
-That's textbook girl-speak.
-What a vicious woman.
No. What were they talking about with “vicious” and “girl-speak”? I waited a moment, and Happiness sent a donation.
[Prostate Happiness Button donated 1,000 won!]
I'm sorry. Please stop.
I really was curious. But I had a feeling that asking any more would make viewers leave, so I decided to stop.
There was clearly something to it, though. I'd look it up later.
“Thank you for the 1,000 won.”
-Demon of collecting money ㄷㄷ
-She actually squeezed money out of him in the end.
What do you mean, demon of collecting money? You people turn everything I do into something else. This is unfair, I tell you.
Now that I'd finished eating, what was I supposed to do?
-???
-Why are you asking us?
-Eden, go?
-Oh, fuck, not you again, Eden dog.
-This room really is special.
Eden? What was that supposed to be? A game?
“Is it a game? Is it fun?”
-Nope.
-It fucking sucks.
-Hi, I'm called Free Eyes hehe. I have lots of ASCII hate memes and graphic copypasta, and I can make an account every few seconds!
-God-tier game Eden, please show it lots of love.
Judging by their reactions, it did seem like a difficult game.
“There isn't a computer here, so playing a game would be difficult. Should I end the stream, then?”
-Nooooooooooooooo
-Already leaving?
-My food just arrived, no no no no
“But this is a cooking stream. I cooked and even ate, so isn't that enough?”
These people sure wanted a lot. If you'd come to a restaurant, eaten, and paid the bill, you'd be expected to leave. What did they think they were doing, lying down in the dining room?
-This is internet broadcasting, not a restaurant.
-The owner is delicious, but the service fucking sucks.
-Can we ask you something we're curious about?
“Of course. Ask me anything about cooking.”
-Where did you learn to cook?
-Yeah, judging by your knife skills, you look like a professional.
“Where did I learn? Of course, I learned—”
Right. That had been in my previous life. I'd forgotten that in this life, I was an inexperienced, self-proclaimed cook.
-You learned?
-Overseas?
“I studied on my own by watching overseas YouTubers and reading books.”
-Ohh.
-So you were an expert after all.
-E... expert!?
(This viewer has been banned.)
-Lol, her body really is insane.
-Damn, someone just died right in front of our eyes.
-Earlier, you just started grilling the meat right away. Doesn't it smell gamey?
Oh, good question.
“When you go to a barbecue restaurant, you grill the meat right away, don't you? If the meat is fresh, there's no need to do anything special. Mine was fresh, so I just cooked it as is.”
-Ohh.
-What if it isn't fresh?
“If it's because you've kept it for a long time, stir-fry it over high heat with cooking wine, or, if you don't have any, a little vinegar.”
-I knew about cooking wine, but vinegar works too?
-Won't the meat smell sour?
“Haha. If you stir-fry it hard over high heat instead of cooking it over low heat, the sourness will burn off. If it still smells, then you cooked it wrong—or your philtrum smells like—was what I almost said.”
-???
-Oh, so that's your type?
-This bitch has been needling us so subtly since earlier.
This is fun. To think there was something this entertaining besides cooking. It was like a foul-mouthed grandma's gukbap joint. Of course, I'm the owner.
“Just kidding, just kidding. If you get offended, you're admitting it's about you, aren't you?”
Fortunately, the chat calmed down somewhat. As I watched, messages continued to come in, but there didn't seem to be anything particularly constructive.
“Well, it seems we've run out of questions, so I'll be going now. If nothing comes up, I'll go live again around the same time. Bye~”
-Uh-oh, don't go.
-???
I ignored the messages coming in and turned off the stream. When I checked the donations, the total was 5,000 won.
Around twenty people had watched, so I guess that worked out to about 250 won per customer.
“Business is a bust.”
Not that it really mattered. It had been more fun than I'd expected.
I finished washing the dishes with a quiet giggle, then went home.
***
“Oh, heavens. Why did you give birth to me and Mrs. Jo?!”
“I went through labor to give birth to you, and this is the nonsense you come out with?”
That's right. I'd slept in again. As punishment for oversleeping, I had to eat homemade food.
“Ma'am. This is curry, right?”
“Still talking nonsense. Want me to hit you?”
“No, no, no. Mom, were we really this poor? Why is the only thing in this curry carrots?!”
I was at the point of missing cafeteria curry. No, even army slop would be better than this.
“Eat it while I'm still asking nicely. I made it to get you to eat carrots. And it tastes fine.”
My younger sibling and Dad said it was delicious, and Mrs. Jo began eating.
Mother. Anyone would say it was delicious with a knife at their throat.
I couldn't bring myself to say it aloud. Looking at the curry in front of me, I wondered if my sins in my previous life had been truly grave. Otherwise, how could this kind of outrageous persecution make sense?
“Aren't you eating?”
Despite her gentle voice, her face looked as though an evil spirit had possessed it. I had to eat.
“So, how's the shop?”
“The shop? It's fine.”
“Have you found what you want to do?”
While eating, I looked at Mom's face and saw the worry written all over it.
I couldn't blame her. Considering my track record, I naturally nodded.
“I picked up a new hobby recently, and it's pretty fun.”
“Really? That's a relief.”
“Yeah.”
The quiet meal came to an end.
“I'll do the dishes. Go in and rest.”
“Really? Thanks. I'll head in first, Mom.”
As I washed the dishes, I thought about what I had to do today.
I'd already eaten lunch, and I had no particular plans, so there was no need to rush to the shop. I figured I only needed to buy the ingredients I'd need before the evening stream later.
‘Hmm… the broadcast.’
Honestly, it had been even more fun than I'd expected.
I'd only thought about having someone watch my cooking and react to it.
I probably needed a computer if I was going to do this properly, right?
It had only been two days, but doing it on my phone had already caused all sorts of inconveniences.
At that thought, I looked at my big, precious computer.
‘If I take that….’
With oil splattering every time I cooked, grease in the air, and all the smells, my precious baby would be utterly ruined after just a month.
I shook my head.
Let's buy a laptop.