Chapter 3
While I was idling away time at the shop.
“Pfft.”
I suddenly laughed when I thought of yesterday.
When I got home, Dad's eyes had lost their focus.
I wondered if something had happened, but when I looked toward the kitchen, the pot that had held kimchi jjim at lunch had been washed spotless.
Father. You created this monster. Accept it…!
Anyway.
“I should eat lunch soon. What should I have?”
Deciding what to eat is always a problem.
Usually, if you live with your parents, you don't have to worry about this, right?
Why am I worrying about this just like when I lived alone in my previous life? Gaaaaah.
I realized there was no need to think about the menu.
Since no one would be coming to the shop for a while, I hadn't stocked the fridge.
After going around in circles, today's menu was jeyuk again.
Yesterday was dry-style, so I thought I'd make gochujang jeyuk this time.
“Hmmmm. What should I do about the broadcast?”
I remembered the broadcast I'd ambitiously attempted, only to fail spectacularly.
Ngh. Is humanity not ready for this yet?!
Enough joking around.
So I looked into it this way and that, and there was no market more saturated than this one.
These days, to survive in internet broadcasting, you had to make frequent appearances on a famous streamer's broadcast, become a VTuber, or at least promote yourself.
Anyway, it took an enormous amount of effort.
I thought about it carefully. Did I really have to go that far?
I thought about why I'd wanted to broadcast in the first place.
All I needed was a tiny bit of attention and some reactions. Hundreds or thousands of people watching me?
That would be more horrifying than having no one watch me.
“I guess this is like a hipster restaurant opened in a dead commercial district with zero promotion.”
Such a restaurant's fate would be having to close up shop, but that wasn't the case for me.
This shop belonged to me, too, and the dividends I received were more than enough to live alone.
If things really didn't work out, I could accept a few customers by reservation.
That was the conclusion I reached amid endless self-justification and infinite positivity.
“It's only been one day. It'll work out somehow~ Let's just eat.”
Before eating, I set up my phone first.
Since there probably wouldn't be any viewers anyway, I didn't bother waiting around.
Once the anticipation disappeared, I felt more at ease.
“Jeyuk jeyuk jeyu-kkobokkeum~ Jian likes jeyuk, likes it likes it.”
Humming, I took the meat and vegetables I'd portioned out of the fridge.
And then I saw the orange something beside them.
Me… me?
It seemed like the carrot was speaking to me pathetically.
“Mr. Carrot. You can't come with us.”
I coldly closed the fridge door.
I don't hate carrots that much, but I don't particularly like them either. I'd put them in if I had to, but otherwise, why bother?
I included them yesterday since it was my first broadcast and all.
Anyway.
First, the sauce. Actually, the key to gochujang jeyuk is surprisingly simple.
Gochujang.
If the gochujang is tasty, you don't really need any special seasoning.
Just stir-fry the meat and vegetables, add gochujang, and stir-fry them together; no one will call it bad.
So let's buy real gochujang made with grain syrup, rice flour, and Korean red pepper powder, rather than some red pepper sauce.
I put a spoonful of gochujang in a small bowl and added a little sugar and soy sauce.
I mixed it thoroughly until the sugar dissolved.
“Become delicious.”
I tasted a little dab on the back of my hand, and…
“Umai!”
With the sauce ready, it was time to prepare the vegetables.
“Lightly cooked green onion is gourmet, you know.”
I sliced one stalk of green onion diagonally on the cutting board.
Soon after, I julienned the onion thinly enough to retain a crisp texture.
Tak-tak-tak
The knife striking the cutting board made a delicious sound.
I took out a few cloves of whole garlic and sliced them into thin pieces.
I loosened the meat one slice at a time into a bowl, then added the prepared vegetables as well.
Then I dumped in all the sauce.
Squish squish
I mixed it with my hands so the sauce would coat everything evenly without clumping, then waited a little.
I was hungry and considered stir-frying it right away, but decided to wait a bit so I could enjoy the best possible flavor.
“Since the meat is thin, thirty minutes should do.”
I set the timer and put the bowl of meat in the fridge.
Then, wondering if I might have gained a viewer, I checked my phone, only to find…
As expected, a number beginning with 1.
“Of course.”
I knew it. I hadn't expected anything at all.
It's when you get your hopes up that you get betrayed!
Somewhere in my mind, a meme I'd seen online seemed to surface, but I ignored it.
“Huh? I didn't type anything in chat. Did some water splash on it?”
Even after looking again, the chat was definitely there. Startled, I checked my phone.
“Eleven viewers…?”
-Me
-Rak
-Fuck, I can finally see you
-Bbaaaaaaaaaang
Oh. What is going on?
To think I'd gained ten viewers in just one day.
My expectations had been pleasantly betrayed like this.
I was incredibly flustered.
“Um… hello?”
-Nope
-Noonaaaaaaaa
-Oh, her voice
-Approved
-What kind of punishment is making us wait over ten minutes?
The chat started flying by.
Wow. Is this all really actual people?
Fortunately, it didn't feel unpleasant.
Maybe because it wasn't face-to-face.
Just as I was thinking this was enough to keep the stream going smoothly…
-Say something, you bitch
-Is this how this stream works?
“Haha. Sorry. I was watching because it was fascinating.”
But wait.
How long had these people been here?
“Um. When did you guys get here?”
-Dunno?
-Since you were going ‘jeyu-kkobokkeum~~’
-Looooooooool
-Jian likes jeyuk~
-You're very girly
Did I say that?
“I did? No, I didn't. I think you heard wrong… eek!”
A sudden jingling sound made me shriek involuntarily like Gonau.
To think I'd let out such a girlish shriek. My face instantly grew hot.
‘Right. I was a woman.’
I calmed my flushed face and deliberately ignored the chat window, where “euh-heuh” was being repeated.
Then I looked around for the source of the sound and realized it was a donation alert. I must have had the volume turned all the way up.
I nearly miscarried.
-?????
-Did you miscarry?
“What miscarriage? That wasn't that kind of ‘baby’ to begin with.”
-?????
-Fact: It's the ‘ae’ in ‘my guts are burning.’
-For real, though;;
I adjusted the volume and checked the donation that had just come in.
“Oh. My first donation. Thank you for the 1,000 won.”
[ㅇㅇ donated 1,000 won!]
(A video of her saying “jeyu-kkobokkeum”)
I turned it off in one second.
“Guys. Nothing happened, right?”
-Wouldn't you like to know
-Jeyu-kkobokkeum jeyu-kkobokkeum jeyu-kkobokkeum jeyu-kkobokkeum
-Euh-heuh euh-heuh, feminine scent
Click click
“Guys. Nothing happened, right?”
-Kyaaaagh, it's murder
-Mmph mmph mmph
-Your Honor, I'm blind, so I can't see anything
“Pfft.”
The viewers reacted fiercely to every single thing I did. I couldn't help laughing.
Maybe this was better than I thought?
-So what are you doing now? 200th time asking
“As you can see, I was making jeyuk-bokkeum for dinner.”
-Kya, you know good food
-Hey, stir-fry some jeyuk and bring it over
Just then, the timer went off.
Thirty minutes had already passed. Time flew by as I chatted with the viewers.
I took the meat out of the fridge and held it up toward the camera.
“Ta-da. Looks delicious, right? This is gochujang jeyuk for dinner.”
-Isn't jeyuk normally made with gochujang?
-Soy sauce jeyuk exists too, you know
-Soy sauce jeyuk, you dumbass. Call that pork bulgogi.
-??? What a tasteless idiot
A full-blown food-name war erupted in the chat in an instant.
Oh. It's heating up nicely. I wonder who'll win.
-Why is this bitch just watching?
-Streamer, hurry up and give your ruling
-What is this dereliction of duty?
The target immediately shifted to me. Honestly, was this even something worth starting a food-name war over? The answer was obvious.
“Is jeyuk really jeyuk if it isn't red? Isn't it just pork bulgogi?”
-Kyaaaaaaa
-I acknowledge your refined palate
-ㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗㅗ
Hmm… Honestly, isn't that just a fact?
When you see meat stir-fried in a soy-sauce-based marinade, you call it bulgogi. Does anyone actually call it ‘soy sauce jeyuk’?
If there is, beware. It's something imitating a person… Wait, is that taking it too far?
“Now, now. Calm down, and shall we start stir-frying some jeyuk?”
Just as I was about to cook the meat.
-Isn't that jumulleok?
-Isn't that the same thing?
-They're different
-How are they different?
-Different, anyway
-Fuck you
Oh. Round two had begun. I considered watching, but my stomach had reached its limit, so I started directing traffic.
“Everyone, calm down. The standards differ from person to person, but since this is my room, let me explain my standards.”
-Okay
-Yeah
-Hmm, anyone who doesn't know soy sauce jeyuk is kind of…
Argh. You soy-sauce villain. Just stay quiet.
“To put it simply, I distinguish them like this: jumulleok is grilled, jeyuk is stir-fried, and duruchigi is simmered.”
-Ah, so that's the idea
-??
-??? What's the difference?
Hmm. If I explained in detail, it would probably take a while. I glanced to the side, and the meat was looking at me. No more!
“Isn't it enough for it to taste good?”
-Agreed
-For real lol
“Since you all agree, let's finally stir-fry some jeyuk!”
Turn the heat to high. Since the meat is thin, six or seven minutes should be enough.
I put the marinated meat into the heated pan. Heat and moisture met, and a crackling sound immediately rose.
“Can you hear that? My mouth is already watering.”
-Damn, I'm fucking hungry.
-Won't it burn if you cook it like that?
-For real, gochujang sticks like crazy
“Good question. Gochujang contains a lot of sugar, so yes, it burns easily. That's why the important thing here is the thickness of the meat.”
I picked up a piece of meat that had been cooking briefly and held it toward the camera.
“As you can see, the meat is thin, right? At this thickness, the meat will be fully cooked before the sauce burns, so it's fine as long as you stir-fry it quickly.”
-What if it's thick?
“Then you can add a little water at a time. Just don't add so much that you make a broth; add it little by little, like drizzling oil, and stir-fry it. That way, it won't burn, and it'll still be delicious.”
-Oh, great tip
“Of course, if the meat is thick, you can partially cook it first, then pour in the sauce and grill it. But personally, I don't prefer that, because the sauce doesn't penetrate the meat as well as it does when you marinate it.”
I answered while working the wok.
“That's why I prefer thin meat to thick.”
-Ah, I see. Confirming your preference
-Streamer’s official statement) She prefers it thin <No fabrication
-Looooooooool
“You guys. Those are dangerous words.”
-We're talking about meat, though?
-Hmm… I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about
Ridiculous. Let's just finish working the wok.
-But there's a real fucking useful tip, not that kind
-?
A really useful tip? What could it be? What else is there?
I remembered the sage saying that when three people gather, there must be something to learn.
“What is it?”
-Mooooom!!!!!!!!!
-Looooooooooooooooool
-Loooooooooooooooooool, fuck
-Mom's sobbing her eyes out in her room lol
-Mother, how did you end up living like this?
Um… I can't even.