Chapter 30
"...So Miss Shin-ah needs a fake boyfriend, too?"
"Yes. We're asking each other to pretend to be our partners. There are so many weird people around when you're working a late-night shift... It'd be nice if I could send them away peacefully, right?"
"...I see."
As she said that, she slightly raised her arm and flexed to show off her strength, and I understood well enough why.
No matter how frail she looked on the outside, her true identity was a magical girl. She possessed enough physical ability to knock down even a fairly capable athlete.
Still, it wouldn't look good for an employee to beat up a customer... So she probably meant that she'd rather make it look like she had a boyfriend and send them away peacefully.
"Well... That aside... My parents and relatives keep pressuring me, too, asking why I don't get a boyfriend when I look perfectly normal, and whether I have one but won't introduce him because he's some weird friend. They keep grilling me about whether I should at least introduce someone I know. Ugh..."
"...Aren't you still quite young?"
"I... am twenty, but... Since I started being a magical girl when I was pretty young, I often had to miss school or cram school... Hehe... And because of that, rumors inevitably started going around that I was a bit of a delinquent..."
"...Ah."
I understood.
It was one of the common problems magical girls faced.
Even so, if she was being dispatched often enough to interfere with her daily life, she could have talked to her mascot and arranged to be dispatched only during certain hours. The fact that she had still gone out like that meant...
Either Abyss Ones appeared in that area with truly unavoidable frequency, or the magical girl herself had chosen to keep working despite the cost.
There were in fact areas where Abyss Ones appeared unusually often... but in most magical girls' cases, it was the latter.
Because most of them were idiots who valued other people's lives more than their own.
"If you're a magical girl... I suppose that can happen."
"Ugh... My parents don't know I'm a magical girl, either... but somehow they found out... Actually, my bosses at previous part-time jobs and other employees have occasionally found out, too..."
'...At that rate, it sounds like quite a lot of people have found out.'
In Alice's case, getting caught would mean my life would truly be ruined, so I hid it with my life on the line. Ordinary magical girls weren't quite so desperate.
They hid it because they didn't want to make the people around them worry and because it was embarrassing, but... it wasn't a bad thing. In fact, they were helping other people. There was no real harm in being found out.
People compared it to having a diary from middle school, one crammed full of your painfully earnest teenage self, discovered by someone close to you. You'd want to hide it if possible, but having it discovered wouldn't ruin your life.
"Ahem, so. What do you think? You don't have to feel pressured. I just want to introduce you as my boyfriend if other people start bothering me, and it'd be nice for you to have pictures when Miss Aia comes back, too, right? We'd both be helping each other. A mutually beneficial arrangement."
"...That doesn't... sound bad."
For me, it wasn't a particularly bad proposal.
Unless she had some other ulterior motive... if that was truly all she wanted... it would be strange for me to introduce her as my girlfriend while she didn't introduce me as her boyfriend, wouldn't it?
She wasn't asking to take pictures of me and spread them around, or demanding that we take anything strange. If it was just a few ordinary, affectionate pictures that looked like they belonged to a normal couple, I had no reason to refuse.
"Let's do it. Where should we take them?"
"Really? With things like this, the sooner the better. Do you have plans today, Mr. Sejin? If not, let's go out together."
"...Huh?"
"Huh? Of course we have to go out to take couple pictures. Taking them at home would be a little strange. At the very least, we need a park in the background, or a movie theater, or one of those four-cut photo booths, so people will think we're really a couple, don't you think?"
"Is... that so?"
I really knew very little about how couples lived. I was completely cut off from social media, and I didn't watch much television, either.
Still, I'd picked up a thing or two by hearsay, but this was the first time I'd ever found myself in such a situation...
"Of course it is! So, you don't have any other plans?"
"I don't..."
"Then... let's say one hour from now! I'll get ready, so you get ready too, and we'll meet in front of the building! Oh, do you have any clothes, Mr. Sejin? You always go around in those gloomy hoodies, but you do have some other nice clothes, right?"
"............"
"...All right. Let's make our first destination a clothing store. I know a place nearby where ordinary people can get fairly pretty clothes cheaply, without worrying about the price. We'll do a little shopping there first, then go take pictures."
"W-Why are you getting so serious over taking a few pictures..."
"We have to take it seriously! With Miss Aia's passion, she'll definitely come looking for you again! And that look in her eyes. She was definitely head over heels for you, Mr. Sejin. When a woman gives someone that look, she won't stop after making one or two attempts. The fact that she gave you her business card and even left after saying such... suggestive things despite hearing that you had a girlfriend means she's genuinely interested in you."
...Wouldn't continuing to pursue someone be stalking?
"And... It's not just interest; she also seemed suspicious of our relationship. I think it's because we didn't talk much or have much physical contact, considering we were supposed to be a couple..."
"...I'm sorry."
"What?! No, why are you sorry, Mr. Sejin! I was acting, so I was willing to accept a certain amount of physical contact... but from your perspective, you hadn't gotten permission. I understand. Of course."
...It couldn't be helped. I'd spent a third of my life having nothing to do with women, let alone dating. There was no way I could suddenly act like a proper couple on the spot just because the situation had changed a little.
"This is my first date, too, but... I've seen and heard enough about them! I'll lead you properly. You just have to show up, Mr. Sejin! Then I'll see you in an hour! Oh, I'll take the dishes from what I ate and wash them at home."
"Ah, no... Leave them..."
Anyway, just like that, a fake date for us to act like lovers had been arranged with almost no warning.
* * *
"...What do you think, Tokkaengi?"
[I don't know how I'm supposed to respond to that.]
"Will it be all right if I go out like this?"
[Can't be helped, right? You hardly ever went outside in that form to begin with. You don't have any clothes or makeup or anything like that, so it can't be helped.]
We weren't actually a couple, and this was only an act, but it was still a date, for the moment.
As the saying went, if you wanted to deceive others, you had to deceive yourself first. If we were going to take pictures that would remain as proof, shouldn't we raise their quality as much as possible and make them look like a real couple so we wouldn't be found out later?
Even if we really were discovered, it would be easier to deal with what came afterward if I could claim that we had been genuine lovers at the time and had simply broken up soon afterward, rather than that it had all been an act to deceive someone.
I had prepared as much as I could.
There was nothing I could do about the clothes, but I'd chosen the cleanest ones I had, and since I lived alone as a man, I'd washed myself thoroughly several times so I wouldn't smell strange...
"...Don't I smell like cigarettes?"
[Probably not. If I can't smell it, ordinary people's noses shouldn't be able to, either.]
"...I think I'm already starting to have withdrawal symptoms."
[Endure it. What's the point of washing yourself until you feel like throwing up, only to smoke again?]
"You seem to be enjoying this?"
[After seeing the same scene every day for eight years, it's only natural to get excited when I get to see something new. Having the truth about 'Alice' discovered would be a major disaster, but this is merely the ordinary life of the human 'Han Sejin,' which has nothing to do with 'Alice.' To put it bluntly, even if you really did date that woman, it would have nothing to do with 'Alice'...]
"...Shut up."
[...Yes.]
Anyone else was one thing, but Tokkaengi had no right to interfere in my relationships with other people, especially my relationships with women.
"...This should be enough. I think I've done as much as I can."
[...Since you already have the basic looks... I think... it'll be fine...]
"Now stay hidden quietly."
[Yes...]
...I said that, but I was just as nervous.
Since I'd done most of my proper conversations with other people in my Alice form, this was awkward, and I was fundamentally distrustful and uncomfortable around people, so a girlfriend and a date would normally have been things from a completely different world...
Somehow, though, things had ended up like this.
'...This is also part of my effort to keep my secret.'
It wasn't because I'd suddenly become interested in women.
I still hated women, younger women, and magical girls most of all. And the person I was going on a date with right now fit all three of those categories.
But blocking someone who might threaten the secret of 'Alice' was far more urgent than avoiding things I disliked, so I had to endure this much.
At present, I couldn't think of a more efficient way to drive away Aia, who might come looking for me at any time.
'...But what if she keeps coming on to me even after hearing I have a girlfriend?'
Common sense and courtesy dictated that you give up if the person you were interested in already had a partner... but judging by what she'd said last time, she seemed to have plenty of lingering feelings.
No, I wasn't even sure whether she was sincere. She was such a strange woman.
She was the sort of woman who might hear me give her my number and then say, 'It was a joke. There's no way Aia could fall in love with a human, right?'
Of course, I had no intention of giving it to her anyway.
'It's fine. It's nothing.'
Not every woman in the world was strange.
That woman wasn't Alice, and Alice no longer existed in this world.
Even if she was a strange woman, I wasn't an ordinary human like I used to be, either.
So...
-Tremble...
[...Sejin?]
"...I'm fine."
-Creak!
I released the rattling chain and forced the door open with trembling hands, then stepped outside.
"Oh."
"Ah."
And just then, perhaps the neighbor next door had finished getting ready as well, because she was coming outside, and we ran into each other.
As one might expect for a date, she was dressed up quite nicely, too.
'Well, she is pretty.'
It wasn't as though my heart started pounding with excitement the moment I saw her, though.
Since I'd already spent my life without any interest in women, I could only say that she was pretty from an objective point of view.
After eight years of working as a magical girl, it was fair to say my aesthetic sense had been ruined.
Magical girls were basically all attractive enough to be celebrities, so most women I saw on the street looked like squid by comparison.
Still, if I had to put my impressions into words...
I could definitely say that she looked prettier when she made an effort.
...And if I had to add anything, her outfit emphasized her figure more than the clothes she usually wore.
When comparing women's appearances, I naturally had no choice but to use the woman I knew best as a reference, and the woman I knew best was Alice, whose figure was extremely lacking in certain areas.
That was probably why I could pretend without being caught, despite being a different gender myself.
"H-How do I look? I tried to dress up as much as I could..."
"...You look pretty."
"Really?!"
-Flinch
"Y-Yes..."
"That's a relief... I'd bought these clothes because I thought they were pretty, but they'd just been sitting in my closet because I'd never had a chance to wear them. Since this was an opportunity, I worked up the courage to put them on, and hearing that they're pretty is such a relief."
It definitely was the sort of outfit she wouldn't wear unless she was meeting a boyfriend.
Even I, who knew very little about the lives of couples, could immediately tell, "Ah, this is an outfit for a date," so she probably wouldn't go outside wearing something like that if nothing special was happening.
"You, too, Mr. Sejin... You're wearing something I've never seen you wear before. It looks good on you."
"...Yes."
"It would be nice if you dressed like that normally, too. Ah, anyway. We said we'd go buy you clothes first, right? Don't worry. My magical-girl career is at its peak these days, so I'm making pretty good money, too. Hehe. I wouldn't be surprised if I made about as much as an average office worker, you know?"
'...Now that I hear it, that's pretty impressive.'
As a magical girl, she worked a part-time job in her civilian identity, even if it was because her family made her, and she also appeared on programs in her magical-girl form.
The highest proportion of her income was probably the appearance fee from that Rookie Magical... what was it called again? Anyway, that program she was currently appearing on.
She might not make as much as Alice, but as a valuable assistant who could help with classes and heal anyone unfortunate enough to get hurt during them, Emerald wouldn't neglect her, given her personality.
'...In a way, this is money she earns thanks to Alice, too...'
Thinking of it that way made me feel a little less burdened.
She'd said it was a place ordinary people went, so the clothes probably wouldn't be expensive, either.
...Even so, relying on a woman seven years younger than me was a little hard on my pride... But I'd said it before, hadn't I? I hated younger women.
"Then... I'll accept your help."
"Yes! Let's enjoy ourselves today without worrying about money!"
"...Yes."
...But now that I thought about it, didn't this woman think I was unemployed?