Chapter 34
In the Gallery buzzing with chatter about the food sold by the Shop, a post containing a word no one had ever seen before suddenly went up.
Title : Guys... guys!!! It's a restroom!!! A restroom!!!!!
A restroom appeared!!!
ㅇ?
ㄴ ?
ㄴ A restroom?
A restroom! I'm saying a restroom appeared!!!!
ㄴ Hmm...
ㄴ Me!! I washed up there...! And even used the toilet!!! It's embarrassing, but!!!
ㄴ It's a real restroom!!!!
ㄴ ...
A restroom.
It was an incredibly common word, but also the name of a place that had vanished.
The other users' reactions to the poster's claim that they had even used the bathroom and washed themselves there were all remarkably similar.
Hmm.
ㄴ A restroom? There are commercial restrooms all over the place, so what's the big deal;;
ㄴ That's true, lololol
ㄴ Restroom (technically exists)
ㄴ For real...
ㄴ It does exist, lol
ㄴ But how long has it been since anyone cleaned those?
ㄴ And you actually used it?
ㄴ This bastard must've built another tower in the toilet and left, lol
ㄴ Agh!! Fuck, that's text-gore!!!
ㄴ For real, that's fucking disgusting;;
What a stomach, seriously.
ㄴ Why do you think we make use of back alleys?
ㄴ That's the GOAT place to take a dump.
So the users' reactions to this post remained cold.
The restrooms left throughout the ruins were a kind of symbol that faintly reminded people of the infrastructure they had enjoyed before the apocalypse.
But by now, they were nothing more than disgusting facilities worse than the streets, filled with mountains of feces and bloodstains of unknown age and reeking with foul odors—a source of infection risk.
Just collect plenty of rainwater.
ㄴ Hope it isn't contaminated rain this time. Use that to wash yourself.
ㄴ For real, lol
No, guys! I mean a real restroom! A restroom!!!
ㄴ Yeah, yeah.
ㄴ Let's just hope you didn't get infected using that restroom.
Just as the users' mockery continued.
One user who could no longer stand it began uploading a proof post.
Title : ...I didn't know I'd have to go this far, but here's proof of the restroom...
(A roughly taken photo of a glowing restroom cube in the middle of the ruins. JPG)
Fuck, you still don't believe me? You still don't believe me!!!!
It has air conditioning!!!! It's a restroom with a diffuser scent and toilet paper!!!!!
And it's separated into men's and women's restrooms!!!
The very restrooms we used before the apocalypse actually exist!!!!!! You idiots!!!!
??
ㄴ ??!
ㄴ What the fuck
ㄴ What is this
And on top of that... the toilet is warm...
ㄴ A toi... There really is a toilet??
ㄴ The toilet has a heater... My butt is warm ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
ㄴ Huh??
ㄴ The water flushes away with a whoosh...
ㄴ What??!
With this one post, the mood among the users began to change dramatically.
Wait, is this actually real?
ㄴ What's with the proof???
ㄴ What the hell!!!
ㄴ No, fuck, it just looks like a cube...
ㄴ That's a restroom??
Wait, there is toilet paper??
ㄴ How is there toilet paper?
ㄴ The toilet actually works?
ㄴ Fuck, tell us in detail!!
ㄴ Tell us everything!!!!
The System built it for us!!!!
ㄴ The System???
ㄴ How??
ㄴ No, how the fuck does the System build a restroom? ㅅㅂㅅㅂ
ㄴ I don't know! I don't know!!
It said it was the Starplex Women's Restroom!
ㄴ You can use it for ten minutes for 10 mana stones!!!
ㄴ I just washed up and drank water and everything!!!
ㄴ You can drink the water too?
I can't believe how long it's been since I actually washed myself...
ㄴ Thank you... Thank you, System.
ㄴ No, wait!!
ㄴ What does this mean??!
I genuinely can't remember the last time I was able to use the bathroom without feeling this humiliated as a woman...
ㄴ Thank you, thank you ㅠㅠㅠ
ㄴ System, I really thank you ㅠㅠㅠ
Wait, then... the System...
ㄴ It... it really installed a restroom for us...?
ㄴ In the real world too...?
ㄴ [The sound of crying when an update happens] Moo... moo...?
ㄴ [The sound of a dog crying when an update happens] Whine...?
And so, at the moment another hot topic began surging through the Capital Area Survivors Gallery.
*
*
*
“...”
Head Mod Baek Eunwol was quietly snickering with hollow eyes as they stared at the System window floating in the air.
[Administrator (JUDDAK) Main Quest 72: Collect 10,000 mana stones]
[Current progress: 9,900 / 10,000]
[Reward: Unlocks authority to appoint a deputy administrator]
“Just 100 more...!”
Then they could appoint a deputy administrator. They could legally divide up the workload.
“Just a little more... If I endure a little longer, I can finally rest too...!”
The hopeful Head Mod, heart brimming with anticipation, habitually opened the Gallery window.
The moment they refreshed it, the titles of the posts pouring in like spam caught their eye.
It's a restroom, a restroom!!! [3334]
Legendary System patch!!! [3322]
....
“A re... stroom...?”
The Head Mod muttered blankly.
*****
Ding-ling-! Ding-ling-! Ding-ling-!
[The usage fee for Restroom 1 (Women's Restroom) has been paid.]
[Revenue: +10 mana stones]
[Revenue: +10 mana stones]
[The usage fee for Restroom 1 (Men's Restroom) has been paid.]
[Revenue: +10 mana stones]
[Revenue: +10 mana stones]
...
“Kyaa...”
I smiled contentedly as I watched the mana-stone revenue windows update at a mad pace, like popcorn popping.
The reason I chose restrooms for the first two tiles I copied was simple.
“At least you do have food….”
It wasn't that everyone had nothing to eat; they just couldn't eat anything decent, and somehow they were managing to hang on while eating.
That was only natural.
Even before I appeared, they had somehow managed to survive while eating low-quality food.
So the problem I decided to solve while earning mana stones was much more fundamental than hunger.
“Hygiene... Infection... This is a serious problem.”
I might have been an ignorant, high-school-graduate NEET, but of course I understood how important it was to wash and stay clean.
“Of course, I can't personally experience that need.”
I'd been living comfortably here, but they weren't.
Even when I conducted a simple needs survey, people had poured out complaints about infections and skin diseases.
“And you need to do your business in a restroom.”
I deeply sympathized with that. I hadn't been able to use a restroom either until I unlocked one... You know what I mean, right?
Anyway, that was why I decided to copy restrooms for them.
Title : Fuuuuuck, it's a real restroom!!!!!!!!
It's real, the restroom near Jeongja Station is real!!!!
I just used it and came back, lololol
The water flushes!!! I pressed the button and it swirled around before rushing down with a whoosh, fuck!!!!
This costs 10 mana stones? This? Fuck, I'll be a customer for life!!!!
Wait, why is this real?
ㄴ There's really a restroom??
ㄴ There... there's really a lavender scent...?
ㅇㅇ The diffuser is fucking incredible.
ㄴ The lavender beat the stench of blood ingrained in my body, lol
ㄴ Are you insane, lololol
You can use it even if you're not a member!!!
ㄴ <<< This is the truly legendary patch, lololol
ㄴ You can use it even without being a member!!!
ㄴ That's possible?!
Title : The toilet... The toilet held me warmly...
My butt is warm...
I was just so moved that I hugged the warm toilet and cried...
When the ten minutes were up and I had to leave, I didn't want to...
I'll go collect more scrap paper... I'm just going to live here...
This bastard has finally lost it, lol
ㄴ A monster born from the apocalypse, lol
ㄴ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
But honestly, I can see why.
ㄴ I just locked the door, sat down, and burst into tears too ㅠㅠ
Title : Is it real that hot water comes pouring out of the sink? ㅠㅠ
(A roughly filmed photo of someone going “Aahh, aahh” while taking a bubble bath. JPG)
I thought I was going crazy from my skin disease, but I washed with foaming soap...
10 mana stones? I could give you 50...
[Troll NEET] Holy shit
ㄴ Please use it, please use it, please use it, please use it
ㄴ Please use it a lot and post proof
Wait, soap!?! There is soap??
ㄴ ㅇㅇ There really is soap.
ㄴ I'm running there right now, fuck, get out of my way, I'm washing first.
ㄴ Get in line, you shameless bastard ㅡㅡ There are ten people in front of me right now.
Can you drink the water from the sink??
ㄴ I tried it, and it seems fine.
ㄴ Wait, you can drink the water too?????
ㄴ ㅇㅇ It's real tap water;;
Wait, it was possible to patch reality...?!
ㄴ The System installed a building for us...?
ㄴ A convenience patch like this...?
ㄴ The System can make mana stones come out when you kill zombies, too.
ㄴ You're saying it can't build one building?
ㄴ Holy shit
ㄴ Facts, lol
Fortunately, the customers' response was not merely positive—it was explosive.
Of course, being able to wash and use the toilet was obviously wonderful.
But the best part was simple.
That's right.
The fact that paying mana stones let you drink water for ten minutes.
There's a bidet too!
ㄴ A bi?det
ㄴ A bidet???
ㄴ There really is a bidet???
ㄴ Wait, the thing that sprays water?!!
ㅇㅇ I used it like a water fountain;;
ㄴ I put my mouth right up to it and drank water like a fucking animal ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
ㄴ 333
No, you bastard, that's a little much;;
ㄴ But when it's spraying water at you, how can you not use it;;
ㄴ Agreed.
ㄴ Absolutely agreed.
“Uh…. But this is a little….”
Right. If you're happy, then I approve.
Title : Here's a killer tip for washing in the restroom in just ten minutes ㅇㅇㅇ
(A roughly filmed instructional video. MP4)
First, the sink <<< this thing is fucking overrated ㅇㅇ I keep seeing people wash themselves in it.
Anyone who insists on being polite and washing like a civilized person is still not enough of a Stalker yet ㅇㅇㅇ
First, squeeze a shitload of foaming soap into the toilet ㅇㅇ
Then you've got yourself a huge basin of soapy water, right?
Scoop up the soapy water and wash yourself thoroughly ㅇㅇ Then turn on the bidet and rinse with clean water.
When the soapy water gets dirty, flush it right away, refill it, and repeat the method above ㅇㅇ
That way, you can finish washing in eight minutes, spend two minutes drinking a shitload of water, and leave ㅇㅇ
Ooh, thanks for the great guide...
ㄴ Upvote for the guide...
This is actually a fucking amazing tip;;
ㄴ Fuck, why did you tell them!!!
ㄴ For real, what a bastard who only thinks about other people;;
ㄴ What an altruistic bastard;;
Wait, you can't take anything from inside out with you;
ㄴ I tried filling a container with water too, but it disappears when you leave.
ㄴ I tried tearing off a bunch of toilet paper to take with me ㅠㅠㅠ
ㄴ Fuck, you can't even take the diffuser inside ㅠ
At least there are five stalls each for men and women inside.
ㄴ Everyone's got their heads buried inside, washing themselves, lololol
No, fuck, how can you wash with toilet water?
ㄴ Are you fucking disrespecting the porcelain throne?
Since ancient times, the cleanest thing has been the toilet.
ㄴ Toilet <<<< this bastard is fucking clean.
ㄴ At least it's cleaner than you ㅇㅇ
ㄴ Ah! Toilet! Cleaner than a ragpicker!!!
ㄴ Fact: all of it.
Unfortunately, it seems you can't take anything from inside outside.
“That's something I can't do anything about....”
The System says that's not allowed. Sorry, guys.
While everyone was using the restrooms in creative ways, I checked my mana stones.
[Restroom 1 (2 tiles) current accumulated revenue: 1,530 mana stones]
“Wait, you've already earned this much?”
Besides, the mana stones were coming in at an extraordinary rate. I no longer had to wait three days to earn mana stones.
“So this is why they call them building owners....”
Though I'm not a true building owner. I'm still paying rent too.
“Show me the rent!”
[Daily maintenance fee breakdown]
Basic tile maintenance fee: 1,200 mana stones
External copied tile (2 tiles) environmental and option maintenance fee: 2,000 mana stones
[Total estimated daily maintenance fee: 3,200 mana stones]
“3,200 mana stones?”
Hmm. What? That's totally manageable.
Forget the Speedrun who used to tremble over 100 mana stones.
“Heh... I have plenty of room at this rate.”
Of course, it was a little wasteful, but I could easily make up this much with the mana stones earned from the Shop and the restrooms.
“Could I install a few more?”
I didn't think one restroom would solve the hygiene problem.
[Tile Copy (Construction Fee): 10,000]
[Offline maintenance fee: Additional maintenance fee required according to the purpose of the copied tiles]
It would cost more with every upgrade, but for now, 10,000 mana stones was totally doable.
[Building Master Main Quest 4: Copy 10 more tiles. Current: 2/10]
[Reward: ????]
The quest just happened to be telling me to copy more tiles too.
“This is great!!”
The first restroom I installed, Restroom No. 1, was in a village near Jeongja Station where Stalkers had gathered.
Before copying it, I had subtly asked the Gallery users where to install it.
I figured that being roughly between the Yellow and Orange Zones would make it convenient for people from both sides to use.
And there was no need to worry about having installed it in the wrong place.
[* Copied tiles can be retrieved and redeployed at any time according to the Awakened's will.]
I could retrieve or redeploy the copied tiles whenever I wanted.
“It's not like I'm floating an entire building or anything....”
Besides, the passive effects of my tile ownership were shared too, so I could throw people out if they caused trouble.
“Of course, I don't think that'll be a problem for now.”
For now, everyone seemed to be following the rules and using the restrooms peacefully.
“Then where should I put the other one?”
I activated Blueprint Copy.
A 3D map appeared before my eyes, showing the detailed locations and terrain features of each area.
A map drawn using location data from users connected to the Capital Area Survivors Gallery.
For now, it only showed the mobile population within the area reached by the Gallery network, but even that alone made it an absurdly powerful function.
“This is fucking overpowered....”
For now, I decided to focus on installing restrooms while the stock was being refilled.
In particular, hundreds of dots were clustering and glittering like a swarm of ants around Jeongja Station, where I had just installed the tile.
“It would be better to install Restroom No. 2 somewhere where it's actually needed more.”
I designated the location for the next restroom installation.
****
Just as Speedrun was installing a restroom somewhere else.
At the same time.
The headquarters of the Ironclad Guild, the armed guild responsible for security in the Yellow Zone refugee camp.
“The System installed a restroom at Jeongja Station??! That's right on the border between our territory and the Orange Zone!!”
After checking the Gallery's proof post, the Ironclad Guild Master drew a weapon, eyes flashing.
“Guild Master! We're fucked if we lose this!”
“The Orange Zone bastards have definitely heard the news too. If the Myth or Ares bastards come down and take the restroom....”
“I know, you idiot!”
The Guild Master barked.
The Yellow Zone had the advantage of being much more stable than the Orange Zone.
That was partly thanks to the Head Mod taking the lead and working hard, but the low threat level of the zombies that appeared there was an even greater factor.
However, that also meant the guild's military strength was inferior to that of the guilds in the Orange Zone.
People who awakened in the Orange Zone were generally chosen and recruited by guilds in that zone.
“We can't let those Orange Zone bastards take the restroom. If we just sit here, we'll never even get to see a restroom again.”
“That's right... We'll probably spend the rest of our lives paying them admission fees.”
At their shout, a murderous glint appeared in the executives' eyes as well.
“What do we have to lose? We'll protect the Yellow Zone's restroom access! Mobilize the entire combat unit right now!”
“Should we occupy the restroom itself?”
The Guild Master fell into thought for a moment at those words.
The System had personally given them a convenience patch and installed a building.
If even the usage-fee payments were handled solely through the System, they probably couldn't interfere with the building itself.
But what if they exploited a loophole in the System?
“We'll seize control of everything around the restroom.”
“!!!”
“Control it!!!”
“Control it!!”
****
At the same time, Ares, the large guild responsible for the Orange Zone along with the Myth Guild.
“Jeongja Station....”
After hearing that a restroom had been installed at Jeongja Station, Guild Master Baek Kang-san's eyes flashed.
“Should we make the first move?”
“We're closer, distance-wise.”
Baek Kang-san pondered for a moment at the Vice Guild Master's words, then opened his mouth.
“Prepare yourselves.”
And so, two enormous guilds from the Orange and Yellow Zones began moving at the same time.