Chapter 35
Meanwhile, the Capital Area Survivors Gallery was overflowing with unreserved praise for the restroom.
Title : Hey, but it looks like the contamination disappears automatically here...
The person before me went in absolutely filthy and came back out after washing, right?
So I was worried the floor would be covered in muddy water and blood,
but the moment I entered, all the moisture on the floor dried up, and the bloodstains just evaporated into thin air ㄷㄷ
? Stop lying.
ㄴ Say something that makes sense lol
ㄴ Is that even possible?
I'm telling you it's true, fuck?? I saw it clearly with my own two eyes!!
ㄴ This is absolutely true
ㄴ Even the dirty foam in the sink disappeared, and the trash can was empty
ㄴ Holy shit... for real?
ㄴ I just experienced it too;; The filth splashed on the toilet slowly disappeared
Wow... what on earth is the principle behind this??
ㄴ Who cares, fuck, this is fucking amazing ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
ㄴ No matter how filthy you leave it, the next person can use it at near-sterile-room levels
ㄴ Fuck!!! Thank you, System!!!
ㄴ Thank you so much!
“The Building Master is truly a legendary Awakened...”
I feel so sorry for thinking he was just a one-trick pony who clicked the Shop button. Building Master.
I think I've finally found my true nature.
Even I have to admit, the automatic contamination removal is really good.
But this is fucking insane
ㄴ When a user leaves and then enters again
ㄴ the supplies that were used up get restocked;;
ㄴ For real???
ㄴ Yeah, I just used up all the soap and went back in
ㄴ The soap and toilet paper were fully restocked ㅇㅇ
You can't take anything from inside out with you,
ㄴ so you have to get as much use out of it as possible within ten minutes and leave
ㄴ For real, use it as much as you can
ㄴ I drank so much water I'm throwing up ㅠ
ㄴ Idiot
ㄴ Your mom
That was why I was waiting for the next proof post to go up.
“When is it going up!!”
At the same time, a new proof post appeared.
Title : [Unlucky Gallery Doctor] The System's grace has descended here too!!!
This is the First Relief Center in the Orange Zone!!!
A restroom has been installed precisely here!!!!
Now we can wash...! We can wash these patients!!
I have no idea what principle lets this cube-shaped restroom contain a complete water and sewage system, but...
For us, it's nothing short of a blessing...
Moreover... it seems the contaminants are dealt with automatically...
We won't be able to perform surgeries that require equipment,
but we should be able to perform simple surgeries on our patients here...
The usage fee is practically free at this rate too...
All we can do... is offer our thanks to the System...
Huh?
ㄴ They installed one at the First Relief Center too?
ㄴ Holy shit!!!
ㄴ That's the place that was already treating people for practically free...!
Wait, you're going to perform surgery in a toilet...!?
ㄴ [Unlucky Gallery Doctor] The kids are the right size, at least...!
ㄴ But lol, the wording is fucking weird lol
ㄴ Toilet surgery lol
ㄴ But it's technically true lol It's a place that dries completely in one second even if blood splashes everywhere lol
ㄴ A ten-mana-stone operating room for ten minutes, what a fucking bargain ㄷㄷ
Imagine it. Someone's taking a dump on one side while someone in the next stall is shouting, Scalpel! lol
ㄴ Patient : (opening his eyes) Doctor... My butt is so warm...
ㄴ You insane bastardㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴ Eㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
System <<< this bastard really knows how to make the right call;;
ㄴ For real, it placed them in exactly the right spots?
ㄴ L i g h t S y s t e m
ㄴ You really were watching over everything... Overwhelming gratitude ㅠㅠㅠ
Doctor Sensei definitely deserves to use that ㅇㅇ
ㄴ For real, he always fixes everyone up even while whining that there are no medicines
ㄴ That place really deserved one. The System's sense is top-tier
ㄴ Doctor, operate comfortably;;
“Oh, that's a relief.”
Fortunately, the reaction to the location of the second tile was also extremely positive.
“A sterile room... I never realized a tile could be used like that.”
I had installed it simply because I figured a hospital was probably the place that used the most water.
That doctor wasn't merely healing people.
Since he said he could actually perform surgeries, he could use it that way too.
“There's a medical center upstairs. It might be fine to claim it and install one there.”
I'd have to own the tile to find out whether there was an operating room there, but it would obviously be much better than a restroom.
Title : [Absolute Ace] A restroom just appeared at the frontline defense position in Pangyo, fuck ㅠㅠㅠ
I just finished my shift at the defense line and came down to the barracks, and there was a cube-shaped thing sitting right in the middle of the position...
All of us seniors are washing our faces with foaming soap and crying our eyes out..
Present arms to the System!!!! ^^7
Wow lol They built one inside the frontline position too
ㄴ The System really treats soldiers right lol
This System bastard has to have served in the military at minimumㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴ Look at it even accounting for tactical value
ㄴ For real, the System knows exactly what it's doingㅋㅋ
“It hasn't served in the military, though.”
Anyway, the third copied tile was perfect as well.
The Pangyo defense line, the fiercest frontline.
For those fighting there tooth and nail, hygiene and safety were also directly tied to morale.
[Absolute Ace] But this place seems absolutely safe
ㄴ [Absolute Ace] One mutant bastard that broke through the defense line earlier slammed into the restroom wall, but it bounced off as if it had hit an invisible wall
Huh? There's a barrier too...?
ㄴ What's that supposed to be?
ㄴ A ten-mana-stone bunker for ten minutes...?
A ten-minute life-extension ticket, fucking top-tier;;
ㄴ Extension ticket, my ass;;
ㄴ Run to the restroom when you're in trouble?
ㄴ I mean, when you're in a hurry, you do have to go to the restroom ㅇㅇ
ㄴ That's not technically wrong...
“You've finally caught on.”
That was another reason I had deliberately installed a tile at the Pangyo defense line.
“Unauthorized entities will be ejected.”
There were no zombies among the entities I had authorized. Apparently, even this setting was shared.
It meant that if an uncontrollable monster wave broke out like last time and the defense line was pushed back, or they were in immediate danger of dying, they should run without looking back.
Of course, I couldn't set the usage time or fee myself, but...
As long as they paid 10 mana stones, it could serve as a refuge where their lives were guaranteed for at least ten minutes, no matter what kind of shit was happening outside.
Then they could at least do some slashing inside.
Wait. Slashing inside?
“Then should I try something on Jomssaem too...?”
- Grrrk-!
Yeah, no, that wouldn't work.
Actually, I'd thought about opening the Camping Section, attaching a kitchen knife to a tent pole, and trying to stab Jomssaem.
I'd also wondered whether I should throw something at Jomssaem.
“Would that... even work?”
It would probably be best to stay on friendly terms with Jomssaem.
“Then shall we do a little interim accounting?”
I cleared my throat, brought up a System window in the air, and checked the status of the tiles I had copied so far.
[Current External Tile Operation Status]
Restroom 1 Cumulative Revenue : 4,250 mana stones
Restroom 2 Cumulative Revenue : 1,120 mana stones
Restroom 3 Cumulative Revenue : 890 mana stones
[Current Total Cumulative Revenue : 6,260 mana stones]
[Detailed Daily Settlement Charges]
Basic shop-tile maintenance fee : 1,200 mana stones
External copied tiles (3 locations) environmental and option maintenance fee : 6,000 mana stones
[Total Estimated Daily Maintenance Fee : 7,200 mana stones]
“Damn.”
The maintenance fee had jumped to 7,200 mana stones, but it didn't hurt at all.
The defense line and relief center had only just been installed, yet they were already earning that much, while Restroom No. 1 near Jeongja Station, the first one I had installed, had earned over 4,000 mana stones all by itself within a few hours of opening.
“At this rate, I've already covered almost all of today's maintenance fee, and everything left is pure profit.”
Now I understood why building owners were so obsessed with location.
“I have two spaces left... Where should I install the last one?”
I brought up the 3D map again.
Just as I was looking for the next prime market among the streams of people scattered throughout the Capital Area,
“Huh?”
Near Jeongja Station, where I had laid the first tile.
An alarming number of dots were massing densely around the peaceful Restroom No. 1.
“What the hell!”
I frowned and zoomed in on the map.
“Weren't they using it properly, waiting in line?”
Wondering if it had become so popular that the line had grown long, I checked the Gallery.
Title : It's the Jeongja Station restroom, but a bunch of Ironclad bastards suddenly stormed in;;
I was just standing in line waiting for my turn, right?
But suddenly, dozens of armed Ironclad members from the Yellow Zone came rushing in;;
Then they threatened everyone in line with their weapons, drove us all away, and surrounded the restroom, you fucking bastards ㅠㅠ
They said they were taking control now, and Orange Zone people weren't allowed in.
They said even Yellow Zone residents had to pay them an additional 50 mana stones on top of the 10-mana-stone admission fee to get inside;;
Why are they controlling something the System gave us!!!
???
ㄴ Huh?
ㄴ Aren't those bastards fucking insane?
ㄴ Fifty mana stones? Their consciences are fucking dead;;
ㄴ What authority do they have to control that place...?
You fucking bastards!!!!! I came all the way from the Orange Zone risking my life!!!!
ㄴ I'm in a hurry!!! I'm about to shit myself!!!!!!
I'm serious!!!!!
ㄴㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Orange Zone rejectedㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴ Poor bastardㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Title : [Ironclad Guild] Why we're controlling the Jeongja Station restroom
As you all know, is it really news that we're gradually losing ground to the Orange Zone bastards?
But after seeing that restroom, we found that it provided absolute safety and unlimited clean water for ten minutes
If we let the Orange Zone bastards use that freely, they'll widen the gap between us even further
So our Ironclad Guild is taking the lead and strategically controlling it to protect the Yellow Zone
Effective immediately, Orange Zone bastards are prohibited from entering
And Yellow Zone residents must pay a 50-mana-stone passage fee
We'll use all of this for the Yellow Zone defense fund, so stop whining and cooperate ㅇㅇㅇ
What a load of shit. Those gangsters actually have an excuseㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴ Defense fund, my assㅋㅋㅋ It's going straight into your pockets, right?
ㄴ What a fucking convenient excuse;;
Please move aside, you bastards...
ㄴ I'm seriously in a hurry...
ㄴ I'm gradually losing my strength...
ㄴ Fuck, do you really have to show us an even more horrifying sight...?
I need to wash!!
ㄴ Move aside!!
ㄴ Why are they monopolizing a building the System gave us!!!!
ㄴ If you're that pissed off, bring your own armed squad and try breaking throughㅋㅋㅋ
[God of War] Goodㅋㅋ
ㄴ [God of War] I'm coming now, wait for meㅋㅋ
ㄴ Wait... Ares is actually going too?
ㄴ If they go, we're really fucked!!!
Fuck... Is there really going to be a war between the Orange and Yellow Zones...?
ㄴ Why are they fighting over a restroom!!
ㄴ Can't they just share it peacefully!!!
[Head Mod] Wait, they're fighting?
ㄴ These bastards are apparently fighting right now;;
ㄴ [Head Mod] Fuck, I was gathering mana stones, but I'm going now
ㄴ Poor Head Mod ㅠㅠㅠ
ㄴ I became an apocalypse civil servant ㅠ
ㄴ Civil-servant life...
I realized how things were unfolding.
“Wait... They were fighting over a restroom?”
I could more or less understand the situation.
Since the gap between the Yellow and Orange Zones looked like it was going to widen further, the Yellow Zone had made the first move.
They had decided they couldn't occupy the building itself, so they had built a defensive line around it and begun controlling access.
Unable to stand by and watch, the Orange Zone guild was rushing over as well.
Of course, my position was a little different.
“I'm the one paying the rent, so why are you fighting?”
I was paying the System's hard-earned maintenance fees and running a business too, so why were they suddenly trying to charge a spot fee with no regard for business ethics?
Besides, driving customers away and collecting passage fees meant cutting the number of customers who could use my shop in half and ruining my turnover.
“That won't do.”
I couldn't stand by while they interfered with my livelihood.
****
“Everyone move aside! From now on, the Ironclad Guild is controlling this place!”
Dozens of armed members rushed in, kicking up clouds of dust as they surrounded the restroom.
The survivors who had been waiting in line only a few minutes earlier were forcibly pushed away and began murmuring.
“But we were going to pay the required mana stones and use it legitimately...!”
“Sorry, but this is for the Yellow Zone's defense! Step back unless you're willing to pay an additional 50-mana-stone passage fee!”
As the frightened survivors backed away, the Ironclad Guild Master stepped to the front of the formation, breathing heavily.
‘Thank goodness. If those bastards had gotten here first, we'd have been truly finished.’
He rubbed his chest and let out a sigh of relief.
“Whew... Good. At least we got here first...”
“What exactly do you think you've taken?”
From the opposite side, some distance away, the armed forces of Ares, the Orange Zone's massive guild, appeared, radiating killing intent.
At the head of the group, Ares Guild Master Baek Kang-san kept his distance, scoffed, and shouted.
“You Yellow Zone hicks think you can monopolize the restroom? Get lost while I'm still asking nicely!”
“Shut up! We got here first!”
The Ironclad Guild and Ares.
The two massive guilds glared at each other across the plaza.
Just as the guild members on both sides slowly drew their weapons and faced off tensely, seemingly about to clash at any moment.
“Take control of that restroom first!”
“Don't let them take it! Charge!!”
At that moment, without either side waiting for the other, the Ironclad Guild Master and Baek Kang-san of Ares charged toward the restroom.
Pow-!!
“Guh?!”
“Kehheek!!”
As if struck by a massive truck, the two Guild Masters' bodies were lifted into the air and hurled several meters away.
A System message appeared before the eyes of the two men as they rolled across the ground.
[Unauthorized entities cannot enter]
“Huh...?”
“W-What is this...?”
Just as the two Guild Masters stood there dumbfounded,
Fsssssh-!
The enormous cube situated between the two factions suddenly crackled with static. Then, in an instant, it vanished into thin air.
“...?”
“Huh...?”
Baek Kang-san and the Ironclad Guild Master, who had been glaring at each other as if they wanted to kill one another, froze.
Because all that remained where the restroom had stood was an empty patch of dirt.
How could this be possible? It had made an entire building disappear.
“I-It disappeared...? The restroom...?”
“S-System...?”
At that moment, the two Guild Masters stood far apart, staring blankly into the air in ridiculous poses.
“You guys... This is your fault...”
Someone's trembling voice rang out across the plaza, which had fallen silent.
The Stalkers who had been trembling under the guilds' power until just moments ago.
Their eyes had become bloodshot,
“Because you two started a dick-measuring contest!! The enraged System took the restroom away!!!!”
“Why are you going against the System's philosophy!!!”
“Let's beat those bastards to a pulp and apologize to the System today!!”
“Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!”
In an instant, the Yellow and Orange Zones achieved grand unification.
Having lost all reason, the enraged crowd began surging madly toward the two guilds, who stood frozen in confusion.