Chapter 11
The Self-Proclaimed Otaku-Friendly Gal
Although we'd decided to pursue a "better future" with Takanashi-san,
A wall far too high for me—or rather, for us—was waiting ahead.
...A chill of terror ran down my spine, as though an icy blade had been pressed against it, and my instincts screamed at me to flee. Yet both my legs were shaking too badly to move properly.
I pried open the eyelids I'd closed for peace of mind, only to find a horrifying ritual whispering curses into the ears I'd plugged. It cast countless people into stormy seas, forcing them to transform themselves, and exposed the heretics who failed to change. Its name was───.
'Welcome Party'
The terrifying madhouse that had broken the hearts of countless working adults was drawing near...!
"Why are you so nervous?"
In front of Café 'Alf,' Takanashi-san tilted her head at me, wearing her military jacket.
I'd gone home once, then met up with her at the bus stop just now. Apparently, even in the face of this terrifying madhouse, she wasn't the least bit shaken.
"Well, it's just that being told we're about to have a party with a bunch of strangers..."
"Isn't it a party for getting to know each other?"
Takanashi-san. Please understand that being right can sometimes hurt people.
Unable to come up with a rebuttal, I gazed into the distance.
"Besides, even if you call it a party, I expect it to be something casual, not one attended by a gathering of high-ranking officials as rumor has it. I've never been to one either, but I don't think there's any need to be nervous."
Please stop. Please stop stacking logic on top of logic.
"And why are you keeping your distance from me?"
Takanashi-san walked briskly toward me as I stood about three meters away.
I tried to retreat by the same distance, but somehow endured it, since that would have been both rude and unnatural.
Standing directly in front of me, Takanashi-san's enormous breasts came up almost to my solar plexus. My heartbeat grew violent, and my cheeks grew hot.
I quietly looked away in the opposite direction.
"B-but, um, walking in side by side like this is embarrassing... you know."
Going into a café together with a member of the opposite sex.
That fact alone would fill a page of the youth I'd dreamed of. I didn't think my heart could take it.
Takanashi-san looked down at her own clothes with a puzzled expression.
"Was there something wrong with my clothes? I thought there was nothing suspicious about them as clothing from this era."
"N-no, there's nothing wrong with you, Takanashi-san...!"
In the first place, she was wearing perfectly ordinary clothes—T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers—with only the military jacket standing out. Even that wasn't particularly out of place.
It was just that an unparalleled beauty with a dynamite body made them extremely conspicuous. Even when getting on and off the bus, the driver and an elderly passenger had done double takes.
As such, I found her extremely difficult to approach.
"Then why?"
"Well... I suppose you could say I'm not very used to being around women."
"...If we're only walking together, does being used to it really matter?"
That's the logic of the strong...!
I screamed that inwardly, but if I'd had the communication skills to say it aloud, I wouldn't be suffering like this.
"For now, let's go inside. Standing in front of the shop for this long might be considered bad manners."
"...Yes."
I'd just been lectured on modern common sense by someone from the future. It was utterly pathetic of me.
Huh? Why are my eyes sweating...?
With the Don Dona song playing in my head, I followed Takanashi-san into the shop.
However, Inoue-san was nowhere to be seen inside. Instead, an unfamiliar person greeted us.
"Oh, hey, welcome. But sorry—we're booked out today."
A dark elf girl gave us an apologetic look and dipped her head slightly.
For some reason, she was dressed as a maid.
It was a classical maid uniform I'd only ever seen in dramas and anime, and her long black skirt fluttered as she moved.
It was a cosplay-like outfit, but it suited her extremely well, partly because the person wearing it was beautiful.
She had semilong silver hair and dark-brown skin. Long, horizontally pointed ears peeked out from beneath her hair, which was tied up on one side.
She looked about our age, perhaps a little younger. However, her figure had exceptionally pronounced curves. She couldn't match Takanashi-san, but, without getting specific, she was more than well-endowed.
She had large, round gray eyes, a straight nose, and stunning features, along with a somewhat goofy smile.
The maid-dressed girl tilted her head as she looked at our faces.
"Huh, wait—are you two the new people who've joined us?"
"Yes. We are adventurers who have joined the 'Alf' clan. I am Takanashi Miyu. This is Yahiro Kota-san."
Takanashi-san answered the maid's question flatly.
Hearing that, the girl clapped her hands together.
"Oh, I get it! You're the ones 'Grandma' was talking about!"
The maid smiled happily, pointed both index fingers at us, and winked.
"Heyyy! Welcome to the 'Alf' clan! As your senior, I'm gonna welcome you☆"
It was an extraordinarily frank greeting. My mouth twitched at her overwhelming energy.
I didn't know who this person was, but she was very likely one of the outgoing types. Once again, I was seized by the urge to flee immediately; she was fundamentally incompatible with me.
...Huh? 'Grandma'?
"I—er, I'm Inoue Riko! Call me Riko-chan! Riko-chan-senpai works too, y'know!"
Inoue. I see—she must be the Master's granddaughter. To avoid confusion, perhaps I should call the older Inoue-san 'Master' from now on.
Even so, I couldn't help wryly marveling at how much a person's apparent age could vary by Race. Well, I had already guessed that Master was elderly.
I gave Inoue Riko-san, who was making a sideways peace sign, a small bow.
"Oh, uh, yes... I'm Yahiro. Nice to meet you..."
"Your voice is so quiet, Yahirocchi! Wait... are you, like, super nervous? Is your heartbeat going totally nuts?"
"Y-yes. I... I guess so."
"Seriously? With such a textbook 'mesu-oniisan' face—you know, a feminine older-brother look—you can still be socially awkward?"
What did she just say????
I felt as though I'd just been given some outrageous assessment.
Perhaps Takanashi-san had the same question, because she rested a finger against her slender chin and slightly furrowed her brow.
"Excuse me, but what is a 'mesu-oniisan'? Does 'mesu' mean a biological female, or are you referring to the medical instrument...?"
"Wha—ah, no, that just slipped out. Don't worry about it—night pool! PON! PON! Sorry, Yahirocchi!"
Inoue Riko-san looked away in response to Takanashi-san's question.
...How should I put it? She was a distinctive person.
As we were having this exchange, Master came from the back of the shop.
"Hello, you two made it. Welcome. I'm glad to have you."
"Oh, uh, hello..."
"Yes. Thank you."
"Yay! I just welcomed them to the clan as their senior!"
"...Riko. You call yourself their senior, but you're only one day ahead of them."
"No, that's not it! This is exactly why amateurs don't get it."
"I'm not merely an amateur; I'm the clan master..."
"Being ahead by even one day makes you a senior! The difference of a single day is a Great Big Ben in all things!"
"Great...? The clock tower...?"
Inoue Riko-san pursed her lips at the bewildered-looking Master.
Come to think of it, being one day ahead meant she'd taken the joining test on Friday. That really was a negligible difference.
However, Takanashi-san nodded with an expression of understanding.
"That's right. Since you joined even one day earlier, you are a senior adventurer. I look forward to working with you, Riko-chan-senpai."
"O-oh...!?"
Inoue Riko-san recoiled in bewilderment as Takanashi-san sharply straightened her back.
"Um... are you kind of a military otaku, Miyu-cchi?"
"Otaku...? I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean."
"Ah, no. Never mind, never mind."
After hurriedly shaking her head from side to side, Inoue Riko-san turned her gaze toward me.
"A socially awkward guy. And the way he stammers, too... Hmm."
"Um...?"
I involuntarily flinched under her serious yet appraising gaze.
"Riko. Try not to be rude."
"Wait, Grandma. This is important."
"...I'd really like you to call me 'Master' while we're inside the shop..."
While Master looked dejected, Inoue Riko-san pulled a smartphone from her skirt pocket.
As the mini-character keychains rattled, she thrust the screen toward me.
There was something almost menacing about her expression.
"It's a simple questionnaire. Please feel free to answer."
What was that stock phrase that sounded like something I'd heard somewhere before?
"Uh, okay..."
"Question one: What is this?"
Her supple, beautiful fingers slid across the screen, and a familiar image appeared.
"Uh, Gundam...?"
It was a tricolor humanoid robot distinguished by its V-shaped antenna. There was no way I could mistake it.
For some reason, a thick black line had been drawn across its eyes, though.
"Question two: What is this?"
"Char's custom Zaku..."
Once again, a black line had been drawn across the eyes. Was it a wanted criminal?
When I answered, she continued swiping through the images.
"Question three: What is this?"
"The Gouf... right?"
"Question four: What is this?"
"Getter...?"
"Question five: What is this?"
"...Some kind of sentai hero's Red?"
"Question six: What is this?"
"Um, probably a Kamen Rider... V3?"
"Question seven: What is this?"
"Raditz from Dragon Ball..."
"And the final question. What is this...?"
"...I'm sorry. I don't know Precure at all."
"...I see."
She put the smartphone back in her pocket and nodded several times, going 'Mm-hmm,' then—
"Heyyy! You're an otaku, huh? What's up? Feeling good?"
"Huh?"
I couldn't hide my bewilderment as Inoue Riko-san raised one hand with astonishing energy. Beside me, Takanashi-san was blinking in confusion too.
The motion made her enormous breasts sway, but I tore my eyes away through sheer willpower and self-control, then turned to Master with a look that asked what was going on.
However.
"Um... I'm sorry about my granddaughter."
Our clan master covered her eyes with one hand and looked up at the heavens.
"It's all good, otaku-kun. Just imagine you've boarded the Titanic, and you'll be fine—night pool! Splash splash! Get totally hyped!"
With mysterious confidence, Inoue Riko-san gave me a thumbs-up.
"Because───I am the 'gal who's kind to otaku'...!"
...I have no idea what's going on.