A Training Camp in All but Name

A Training Camp in All but Name

"Phew..."

After explaining things to Riko-senpai and finishing the curry for dinner, I finally felt at ease.

The somen and steamed pork we'd had for lunch were delicious, but the curry had been several steps above them.

The large, chunky vegetables fell apart easily when I pressed my spoon against them. The fluffy potatoes and sweet carrots were wonderful. The roasted pumpkin and eggplant, added according to individual preference, were great too.

Among those healthy ingredients, the pork made its presence felt strongly. Apparently, she'd used pork meant for cutlets rather than the flatter kind.

Its firm texture and the oil spreading across my tongue tasted as though they were giving my body, which had worked hard all day, a thunderous round of applause.

There was no need to discuss the classic combination of white rice and curry roux. The red fukujinzuke provided a visual accent too. Naturally, it added to the texture as well.

I'd thought we might have leftovers for breakfast tomorrow, but in front of five young adventurers, an entire pot of curry was devoured in one night.

The curry flavor lingering in my mouth wasn't bad, but the freshness of the salad served alongside it reset my palate perfectly. Now, the dessert's moderately sweet fruit yogurt was the flavor that remained.

"Heh... Even after doing the dishes, everyone still looks so satisfied. Meanwhile, I can't stop trembling at my own talent...!"

There was nothing I could do but admire Riko-senpai's smug expression today.

Aside from being a self-proclaimed gyaru, this woman really had no flaws whatsoever...

She was an excellent adventurer, studied IT, and cooked like a professional. On top of that, she was beautiful and had a great figure.

...Wait. Could this person actually be a pretty perfect superhuman?

"I really am the gyaru who treats every otaku boy and otaku girl kindly...! I'm the savior gyaru!"

Honestly, if only she didn't do this.

As Riko-senpai basked in pleasure while striking a strangely intimidating pose, Tatsumin... no, Ryugu-san, spoke to her apologetically.

"I'm sorry, okay? We ended up having you make dinner for us too..."

"It's all good! Besides, curry actually tastes better when you make a lot of it, so it's a win-win. The cost of the ingredients was on you... Well, Kana-chi brought them, anyway!"

"Thank, you..."

Even as her eyebrows drew into an inverted V, Ryugu-san gave a bashful smile.

She wasn't wearing the mascot suit or that outfit resembling someone from a school lunch center. She was dressed in a T-shirt and shorts. Her pale arms and legs were exposed without reservation, and they were quite dazzling.

"Well, everyone smells pretty strongly of curry, so it might be a little early, but let's hit the bath. The bath."

"Ehh. I want to lounge around a little longer..."

"No, Rosso. Let's get in the bath early and..."

Riko-senpai gave a thumbs-up to Rosso-san, who was completely limp on the sofa.

"Tonight's party night, baby...!"

"Wha... What!?"

Those two had really gotten close.

"If that's settled, then there is no reason to hesitate. To the spring that washes away original sin!"

"The bath here is huge! Four people can get in at once!"

"...Wait. I wasn't told about that."

Rosso-san froze stiff.

But Riko-senpai grabbed her firmly by the shoulder.

"Let's deepen our bonds as women, Rosso☆"

"No, it's just a little embarrassing. Even if we're the same sex, that's a bit much..."

"Yeah... It is embarrassing..."

Rosso-san turned her flushed face away while Ryugu-san pressed her index fingers together. Seeing the two of them act so bashful made my heart skip a little.

However, having a man remain in the middle of a conversation between girls like this would only make things awkward for everyone. I decided to return to my room as quickly as possible.

With that in mind, I stood up from my chair.

"Come on, it's fine! It's not like anything will be lost! Right, Miyu-chi?"

"That's true. Going in all at once would be more efficient. Besides, I've heard the phrase 'naked bonding.' It seems beneficial for strengthening the bonds within the unit."

"All right, that's two against two! An even split! Bow before democracy, Rosso and Kana-chi!"

"No, if it's even, there's no reason for us to bow to anything!?"

"That's true. So, let's have Kota-san decide."

"Huh?"

Since I'd thought I had nothing to do with this, I was a little surprised when the conversation suddenly turned toward me.

I really wished they wouldn't drag me into discussions like this. It might make me start thinking about it too much. As if entering the bath after Miyu-san and the others wasn't already going to be nerve-racking enough.

"Hmm. I suppose it can't be helped. So, Otaku-kun────"

"Would you rather bathe as 'five' people, or separately? Which do you think is better, Kota-san?"

"What?"

"Okay, let's put a hold on that, Miyu-chi."

"?"

Five people? ...Five!?

The people here were Miyu-san, Riko-senpai, Rosso-san, Ryugu-san, and me. Five in total.

...Hnnnngh!?

"Was there something strange about that?"

"Everything about it is strange!? Have you lost your mind, Miyu-chi!?"

"That's right, Miyu! Surely that would be indecent!?"

"Bathing together with men and women is, um, strange...!"

"Why? There used to be a culture of mixed bathing in this country. More importantly, Kota-san is also a member of the unit. Isolating him and creating a crack in our bonds would be inadvisable."

"Wait, Miyu-san, wait. Bathing separately by gender isn't called isolating someone, okay? It's just separating people, okay?"

I thrust my right hand forward and shook my head as hard as I could.

Good grief. I'd thought that Miyu-san had finally come to fully understand common sense in Japan, but... apparently that wasn't true at all!

Damn it, even the emotional education provided by tokusatsu and An●nman had its limits!

"Does Kota-san not want to bathe with us?"

Miyu-san tilted her head in puzzlement. Beneath her beautiful face, her enormous breasts made their presence felt tremendously through her T-shirt.

I really want to bathe with you...!

The honest words rose to my throat, but I mobilized every muscle in my face to force a sociable smile and swallowed them back down.

"Miyu-san, the culture of mixed bathing is old-fashioned now. It isn't suited to the modern era."

"Is that so? I heard that close-knit families do it."

"For starters, we're not family. We're comrades, at most."

"I heard in a work I borrowed from Riko-senpai that comrades in a unit are the same as family."

"Don't lie!"

"But it's true...?"

"Riko-senpai. Please be quiet for a moment."

"My bad."

Don't just latch onto that on reflex, you fake gyaru. And that joke is ancient.

I was using every last bit of my reason to persuade them here. Read the room.

At present, an army of three hundred rational soldiers was fighting valiantly against an instinctive army numbering over ten thousand inside my head. I couldn't let their sacrifice be in vain...!

Yes, I was a little delirious! I didn't even really understand what I was saying anymore!

"So, Miyu-san, don't worry about me, okay?"

"Understood. ...But why exactly is mixed bathing forbidden?"

"I'm sure Rosso-san can explain that to you."

"Wha!?"

"Understood."

"Whaaa!?"

The rest is up to you, Rosso-san... You're the oldest person here, so please, I'm begging you...

"So, what'll it be, Rosso! Kana-chi! Will the girls bathe alone, or will we make it mixed bathing!? Those are the only two choices!"

Ah, she slipped a different set of choices in while we were distracted.

Well, it had nothing to do with me. For now, I had to focus on maintaining my facial expression. I absolutely couldn't let my true feelings slip out... My social life was on the line...!

"Ah, no, well. It's not that I don't want to bathe with the young oni, exactly. It's just that, um, my heart needs to get ready..."

"I-I understand. The four of us...! The four of us will go in together...!"

Perhaps because of that killer pass, Rosso-san was red all the way to her ears. Supporting her from behind, Ryugu-san nodded in agreement with Riko-senpai's proposal.

"All right! That's what we're doing, then. Sorry, Otaku-kun! We're going to take a bath!"

"Sure."

"Don't peek, okay!? I'm not saying that as a suggestion!"

"Sure."

"...Speaking of tennis!"

"Sure."

"Are you interested in cross-dressing!?"

"No, so hurry up and go, you idiot."

"Tch, he's still conscious. We have no choice but to retreat. Adieu!"

The idiot—or rather, self-proclaimed gyaru—left the living room with an unnecessarily elegant wink. Miyu-san, Rosso-san, who was still confused, and Ryugu-san, who was pushing her along, followed after her.

Thirty seconds after the door to the hallway slammed shut, I headed to the room assigned to me.

I could hear the women next door preparing their clothes before bathing, but it was irrelevant.

I took my earphones from my bag, connected them to my phone, and sat cross-legged on the tatami.

...Well, when I thought about it calmly.

Even if beautiful girls I knew were bathing at the same inn, it had absolutely nothing to do with me, right? There was no reason for me to be so agitated, was there?

With the cause of the war receding, my army of three hundred rational soldiers routed the instinctive army of over ten thousand. Peace returned to my brain.

I decided to grind a normal mobile game while waiting for them to finish their bath.

＊　　　　＊　　　　＊

I had been too naive...!

"Chiki-chiki! The all-night game tournament is about to begin! Wooo!"

The five of us gathered in the living room again.

After nervously making it through the bath, distracted by the lingering scents in the bathroom and the bathtub itself, we finished bathing.

Having been summoned here by Riko-senpai, I once again had to mobilize every muscle in my face.

Because, yes. Just like me, they were all 'fresh from the bath'!

Their hair was still damp. Their cheeks were flushed. The unfamiliar atmosphere made my heart pound hard.

Miyu-san wore baggy navy pajamas with short sleeves and shorts. Her flushed skin looked alluring. Most notably, her chest rose prominently, creating a magnificent curtain of breasts, while her beautiful navel peeked in and out of sight.

Riko-senpai wore a pink negligee with something resembling a sailor collar. The fabric was thick, and its hem covered her to the middle of her thighs, but her unusual outfit still made my heart skip. A ribbon loosely tied around her waist created a rather impressive tent of breasts.

Rosso-san's sleepwear looked like a red dress at first glance. A black ribbon tie hung loosely at her collar, giving her an oddly mature air. Regardless of her usual behavior, I was reminded once again that she too was a beautiful woman in her prime. And, of course, the string around her waist created another breast tent...!

Ryugu-san was wearing mascot pajamas, just as I'd expected in a way. They were blue, with only the front of the torso colored white, and she had pulled up a hood with soft-looking fangs. Even that childish outfit couldn't hide her mature figure. Her breasts were making quite a statement...!

Me? I'm just wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants. Why is everyone else wearing such fashionable pajamas? Is that just what girls do?

Outside of television, the only sleepwear I'd ever seen on a member of the opposite sex was my mother's. Recently, she'd been wearing something awfully thin...

I decided not to think about it any further. My overheated head suddenly went cold, but in exchange, I felt as though my mental state had been brutally damaged.

"Heh... Nighttime is my domain. Don't think you can defeat me easily!"

"Gao! I don't really know what's going on, but I'll accept any challenge thrown at me, gao!"

Ah, Ryugu-san was 'Tatsumin' even in mascot pajamas.

"I can't agree to staying up all night. You should get proper sleep except during missions."

"Come on. It was just a figure of speech. We really aren't staying up all night, Miyu-chi."

"Then I will participate as well."

"...Miyu-chan is surprisingly strange, gao?"

"Indeed. Well, there are many things going on at that age. Let us watch over her warmly."

"That's right, gao. Even if she's a little odd, we're comrades, gao!"

You guys are saying that? Some people would have every right to kill you for saying something like that, you know?

"So, what are we doing, Riko-senpai?"

"Hey, hey. That's your opening line? That's not how it's done, Otaku-kun. First, you should comment on how we look in our pajamas!"

"They're pointlessly fashionable. Pointlessly."

"You just made an enemy of every woman in the world, you hear me!?"

"...I'm sorry."

"Huh? Oh, uh, don't take it so seriously?"

Riko-senpai looked just as bewildered as I did at my completely serious apology.

Good, I'd avoided it. If she kept insisting that I give my impressions, I had no idea where my honest feelings might slip out.

Shine, my power of self-preservation!

"Ahem! What are we doing? Why, a game tournament, of course! That's what a gyaru would do!"

"What makes that gyaru-like?"

"Wasn't this supposed to be a pillow fight?"

"Of course we'll do that too!"

"Then I have no objections."

...Miyu-san had secretly been looking forward to the pillow fight, hadn't she?

"What game should we play? I've prepared all sorts of them!"

I wondered when she'd prepared everything. On the television in the living room, a game screen linked to a console appeared.

"Oh. The classic 'Matsuo Race,' 'Matsuo Brothers Brawl,' and even 'Air Ox Cart.'"

Mario● Kart? S●sh Brothers? Air Ri●r? Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm bad at English.

"Since we have the chance, I vote for 'Matsuo Brothers Brawl'!"

"Heh. One game would be far too tame! All of them! We shall play them all!"

"That sounds good, gao! Then we'll play one match of each, gao!"

"Well... I suppose that won't make it too late."

I glanced at the clock on the wall. We'd taken our baths early, so there seemed to be plenty of time.

We had a dungeon scheduled for tomorrow morning too, so we couldn't stay up too late.

"...This is a good opportunity."

"Miyu-san?"

Miyu-san squeezed her eyes shut once, then opened them wide with fierce determination.

Ah, I had a bad feeling about this.

"I would like to challenge Kota-san to a rematch right here and now!"

"I'd rather not. I just want to play normally."

"Well said, Miyu-chi... I'll lend you a hand in that challenge!"

"I'm not doing it. Are you listening, you fake gyaru?"

"Heh... Very well. I accept your resolve!"

"Stop tossing the ball back and forth without me. I'm not doing it, okay? I absolutely will not accept that challenge!"

"I don't know the circumstances, gao... But judging from the atmosphere and Riko-chan adjusting the game console, it seems everyone plans to beat up Kota-kun. That doesn't seem particularly praiseworthy, gao..."

"That's exactly right. Tell them, Tatsumin-san."

That aside, with Tatsumin-san wearing mascot pajamas, her real face was perfectly visible.

Her long bangs were the same as ever, but unlike at mealtime, her broad grin was full of excitement. They say a beautiful woman looks good no matter what she does, and she really did suit every expression.

"But... When I look into Miyu-chan's eyes, I swallow every word! I, Tatsumin, am on the side of every girl who dreams!"

"You too, mascot suit?"

"I'm not a mascot suit, gao. I'm Tatsumin, gao. I'll punch you, gao."

"Shut up, idiot. I mean it, you idiot!"

"Now... Are you ready!?"

"Of course!"

"Gao!"

"Everyone... Please lend me your strength!"

"Oh, come on..."

There was no stopping this momentum anymore. I accepted the game console thrust at me and sighed.

"Now... Begin, with honor!"

Where was the 'with honor' part...?

After that, I completely trounced them. You really shouldn't underestimate my Demon Eye of Foresight. Also, Tatsumin-san was simply weak. Why had a beginner gone along with that momentum...?

And I wasn't invited to the pillow fight. Of course, men shouldn't enter a girls' bedroom. That was only natural.

As I lay on my futon, I could hear their raucous voices through the wall.

'Hyaaaah! Eat this, Pillow Machine Gun!'

'Fuhahaha! Too slow! Far too slow! Such an attack can't possibly defeat me—muguh!?'

'Now's your chance, Rosso-san. On the battlefield, you must always—!'

'Gao gao! Letting your guard down is dangerous, Miyu-chan, gao!'

...Yeah.

That fake gyaru was basically responsible for everything. Wars didn't end, taxes went up, and postboxes were red, all because of her.

I swore that I would make Riko-senpai pay later by forcing her to perform the loach-scooping dance. I made that vow while soaking my pillow with tears.