Tatsumin Land

Tatsumin Land

The next morning.

Since the voices from the next room stopped before midnight, I was able to sleep soundly.

Just before they quieted down, I thought I heard someone say, 'Punishment for children who don't go to sleep, gao~,' followed by two voices like squashed frogs, but that must have been my imagination.

"Sorry for making you cook breakfast too."

"No biggie! Besides, Otaku-kun helped out too."

"No, I really only helped."

Today's breakfast consisted of rice, miso soup, tamagoyaki, natto, dried horse mackerel, and spinach dressed with bonito flakes.

As I stirred mustard into my natto, Miyu-san looked at me twice from beside me. She must not have been familiar with natto.

"Miyu-chi, if you don't like natto, you can leave it. It's the packaged kind, so it'll keep."

"No. I heard on television that it's very healthy. I'll have some...!"

With the serious expression she'd worn during the spiritual disaster, Miyu-san opened the pack of natto. It wasn't a bomb-disposal operation.

Rosso-san, sitting opposite Miyu-san, silently moved her natto pack a little farther away. Apparently, she didn't like natto.

I'm the sort who can eat it and enjoy it, so I don't really understand how she feels. Still, fermented food can be a matter of personal taste.

"Hmm... The tamagoyaki is salty?"

Rosso-san murmured in confusion.

I tilted my head, unable to understand what she meant.

"Isn't tamagoyaki normally savory...?"

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

Riko-senpai gave a wry smile at the two of us, who were both wearing question marks.

"Ah, apparently it varies quite a bit by household. Whether you put salt or sugar in your tamagoyaki."

"Seriously? Sweet tamagoyaki isn't just something they put in convenience-store bento...?"

"At my house, we use salt in the tamagoyaki for breakfast. But if we're making a boxed lunch, we use sugar."

"Some households do that, huh? Still... the salty kind isn't bad. It's actually pretty good."

"Right?"

After putting natto over my rice, I tried some tamagoyaki too.

It had the same somewhat salty seasoning, but unlike the kind at my house, it seemed to have a strong dashi flavor. It surprised me a little, but it was delicious.

And so, we finished breakfast. Incidentally, after her first bite, Miyu-san accepted the natto without a problem, saying, 'This is delicious.'

After brushing our teeth and so on, Rosso-san and Miyu-san returned to the living room after folding the towels. I'd finished putting away the dishes too, so I joined them.

The only laundry was the towels. We planned to wash the clothes we'd worn yesterday after we got home. Because, you know, we were staying together as a man and several women...

There was no mishap where I accidentally saw the women's underwear hanging out to dry. I took my seat, 90 percent relieved and 10 percent disappointed.

"All right. So, we'll hit the dungeon this morning too. Then we'll eat lunch here and head home by bus and train."

"Understood."

"Got it."

"Indeed. Later, Tatsumin-dono and I shall go to the paper mill."

...Will Rosso-san really be okay as our negotiator?

I was a little worried about the chuunibyou wearing a different gothic lolita outfit from yesterday. For that matter, where had she even kept it...?

But Master had vouched for her, so she would surely get serious when it mattered. I'd also heard she was good with numbers.

At the very least, she'd be far better suited to go than a minor like me or Riko-senpai, right?

'I have no objections either, gao. Ah, but there's somewhere I'd like you to stop by briefly on the way home, gao.'

"I'm okay with that. What about everyone else?"

We nodded at Tatsumin-san's proposal as she stood there in her mascot suit.

It was probably about the 'reason' she'd mentioned last night. There was no reason to refuse.

The others agreed as well, and we each began preparing.

It was my first time going to a dungeon two days in a row, but it was a good experience too. With reliable senior Tatsumin-san along, I decided to go and learn from her.

＊　　　　＊　　　　　＊

And so, we went into a dungeon again on the second morning, but... to be blunt, there's nothing to tell.

Since we were probably still tired from the first day, the last dungeon held relatively weak monsters... or rather, it was a culling of Crazy Boars.

They were simply large boars that charged straight at us. That might have been different when I was a non-Ability user or a beginner, but now it was impossible to call it anything but routine work.

Either Tatsumin-san caught them head-on and crushed their bones, or Miyu-san stopped them by throwing Pola, and I cut them down. We just repeated that calmly until it was over.

After two hours of exploration, we returned to the 'Blockade' and then went back to the inn.

"We're back—... Huh?"

Just as I put my hand on the entrance door, I caught the faint smell of something burning.

When I focused my awareness, it seemed to be coming from the garden, not inside the building.

"Hey, Otaku-kun! Miyu-chi! Tatsumin! Over here, over here!"

At Riko-senpai's voice, I headed toward the garden without even taking off my pack.

"All right! The grill's already heating up!"

"Fuhahahaha! The hour of celebration has arrived! With the flames of hell, I shall roast the pitiful sacrifices!"

"Oh...!"

I couldn't help exclaiming in admiration.

In the garden, Riko-senpai and Rosso-san had set up what looked like a barbecue grill and grate on a sturdy table. There was also a bucket filled with water on the ground.

Wow. I think this may have been my first time seeing one in person.

"Hell...? Sacrifices...?"

"Miyu-san, the sacrifices are pork and beef. Don't worry about it."

"I see. Come to think of it, there is a culture that says killing living things and eating meat sends you to hell after death..."

"Let's hope Lord Enma has updated that part too."

'Besides, even the monks around here eat meat, gao.'

"Hey, hey! Time is money, brother and sister! Put your luggage down and go wash your hands! PON PON!"

"Know that nothing in this world is infinite; it is precisely because things are finite that they 'exist'! Now, make haste and finish your preparations!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"...Riko-senpai and Rosso-san seem even more excited than usual."

"It can't be helped. Why? Because it's a barbecue...!"

"Uh-huh..."

I headed inside the inn with the bewildered Miyu-san.

She probably still didn't understand. Our overnight stay had been for all sorts of reasons—the dungeon culling, negotiations with the paper mill, and so on—but... it had effectively become a training camp.

With a barbecue as the final meal, of course our excitement would go through the roof. Anyone who didn't get excited about this wouldn't be a modern Japanese person!

Well, if this were with strangers—or my classmates—I was confident I'd turn into a piece of furniture in the corner. I'd probably quietly eat vegetables while praying for it to end as soon as possible.

Anyway, we put down our luggage, washed our hands and gargled, then returned to the garden. Tatsumin-san had taken off her mascot suit and was wearing a T-shirt.

We brought out another table and set out plastic bottles of juice, cups, plates, and chopsticks. Then we carried a large platter of meat from the kitchen.

The sound of meat sizzling echoed through the garden. It looked more like yakiniku than a barbecue.

"All right, Tatsumin—no, Kana-chi. Give us the toast!"

"M-me? I...?"

"Indeed. Now, take up your cup."

Prompted by Riko-senpai and Rosso-san, Tatsumin-san picked up a cup of juice.

"Um, er... Th-this time, thank you very much for, well, helping cull our dungeon..."

"Too stiff, Kana-chi!"

"Ugh... I-I mean! Cheers!"

"Cheers! Woohoo!"

"Cheers!"

I tipped my cup and drank the orange juice. It was June, so the temperature was quite high, and there was a fire nearby, making it even hotter. Perhaps because of that, it tasted better than usual.

"Now, eat up as soon as it's cooked!"

Laughing gleefully, Riko-senpai used tongs to place meat on everyone's plates.

"Oh, thanks."

"No problem! After all, I'm a gyaru who's kind to otaku!"

...Not everyone here was an otaku, though.

That seemed to stray from what Riko-senpai herself had said before: "I'm not going to be a gyaru who's kind to everyone; I'm going to be a gyaru who's kind to otaku!"

Well, whatever, I thought, when Riko-senpai suddenly turned toward me with a great deal of energy.

"You were thinking, 'She's a saintly gyaru who's kind to every living thing! Riko-senpai is seriously worthy of respect!' weren't you?"

"I wasn't thinking that much, and you're not a gyaru."

"Shut up! Your thinking is naive. So naive. Sweeter than mint chocolate!"

"What's with the sudden toothpaste talk, Riko?"

"I'm grilling you later."

!?

Rosso-san froze at the sudden death threat, but Riko-senpai continued with a smug look on her face.

"When you think about it... this group only has Otaku-kun and Otaku-chan. So that means it's okay for me to be kind."

"I'm not sure that's how it works."

"I feel as though I've just been told something completely unrelated to kindness."

"Rosso-san."

"M-Miyu. You think so too, right?"

"I question whether it is appropriate to label a food that some people surely enjoy as not food based on one's personal values."

"Exactly... sound reasoning...!"

Poor Rosso-san. Miyu-san's sound logic utterly defeated her.

Riko-senpai pointed her thumb at the twenty-something chuunibyou being comforted by Ryugu-san.

"The girl whose mindset is so warped that killing her right there would be an act of mercy is, needless to say, Otaku-chan."

"It goes that far...? Was my assessment of mint chocolate really that bad...?"

"And Kana-chi, who's comforting her, is a Tatsumin otaku."

"Um... Tatsumin is a way of life to me... so I'm not an otaku..."

So it went as far as a way of life.

"Otaku-kun is just Otaku-kun."

"No, like I said, I'm not an otaku. I don't know that much about subculture."

"And Miyu-chi is an otaku too. This is basically my harem... though being kind to otaku doesn't mean there's any romance involved!"

"Isn't that, in a way, the least kind thing of all?"

"Am I also a member of the species known as otaku?"

I gently turned my face away from the puzzled Miyu-san.

No. I mean, considering how obsessed she was with the mobile game from the parallel world, and how she kept trying to make me cosplay... how else could I describe her but as an 'Another Yabiro Kota otaku'...?

I tried to swallow the words before they escaped, along with the meat I'd been served. Otherwise, it would get cold.

"Thanks for the food... Huh?"

That's what I thought as I put it in my mouth, but I noticed the meat was a little tough.

Compared with supermarket pork, it had quite a bit more chew. Rather than being stringy, it was 'firm.'

"This meat is kind of... the sort that makes you think, 'Man, I'm really eating meat.'"

"Isn't that only natural?"

"Well, yeah, but... It's wild, I guess? Or, you know, genuinely meaty."

I didn't know how to explain it. As I struggled, Riko-senpai gave me a thumbs-up.

"Well said, Otaku-kun. Today's meat is... wild boar!"

"Oh, really?"

I looked again at the meat on my plate. The fat reflected the sunlight, and it looked no different from ordinary pork.

It didn't have any particularly unusual smell, either.

"I've heard boar meat has a strong smell, but this doesn't have any of that, does it?"

"That was probably because it was handled well, and because this particular one had been raiding fields. It had been eating good stuff."

Riko-senpai nodded beneath her ample chest.

Her gaze turned toward Ryugu-san.

"By the way, Kana-chi was the one who brought it down."

"Wow... So Ryugu-san is a hunter too?"

"I... don't use guns... very much..."

As she said that, Ryugu-san bashfully clenched her small, white hand.

Looking at her fist, I remembered the Crazy Boar culling. After catching its charge with her shield, she'd used that slender arm to... crush the monster's head.

Yeah. Not something to think about during a meal.

"I see... Still, this meat is delicious. This is my first time eating game, but I assumed it would..."

"There can be good and bad ones, you know? The processing after it was brought down, how skillfully it was butchered... and there are differences between individual animals too..."

I savored the meat while listening to Ryugu-san's explanation. We grilled and ate vegetables like onions and carrots too, but the meat was still the main attraction.

Even though it was tough, it wasn't enough to bother a trained Ability user. I liked tender meat too, but I was starting to enjoy this kind of toothsome texture as well.

Also, the fact that it was 'wild boar meat caught by a hunter' really appealed to the masculine part of me. It's just... cool, you know?

After we finished eating and cleaned up.

"All right... It's a shame to leave, but let's get ready to go home!"

"Yes."

We began preparing to head home.

That said, we hadn't brought a huge amount of luggage. I put on my backpack, checked that I hadn't forgotten anything, and left the room.

As we waited in the entryway, the women's car and Yamaoka-san's car arrived at the same time.

"Sorry to trouble you. Thank you."

I bowed to Yamaoka-san as they loaded our luggage and smiled warmly at us.

Our car set off, rattling over the road, which was dented in places.

"Man, that was fun."

"Indeed... I think I understand party people's feelings a little now..."

"Me too..."

Rosso-san and I nodded together again and again.

It would be no exaggeration to say we'd joined the ranks of party people—or rather, the truly fulfilled.

So this... was the view from the winning side...

"We're not exactly party people, though, are we?"

"Be quiet, Riko..."

"Please let us bask in it. I'm begging you."

"O-oh..."

'Young folks have it tough, gao-nee.'

We were party people. No matter what anyone said, we were party people... we were living the fulfilling life...!

I had no one at school I could call a friend, and the only person who might barely qualify was Komari-san, who I suspected was monitoring me for Public Security... but still!

Besides, regardless of what they were like on the inside, I'd spent two days and one night with beautiful women. There was no arguing that this made me one of the truly fulfilled...!

"What happened to Kota-san and Rosso-san?"

"Oh, uh, we're just saying how much fun yesterday and today were. Probably."

"I see. Then let's come here again."

'I would appreciate that, gao. Thank you, gao.'

"But before that, we have to carry out last night's punishment game."

'Punishment game? Oh, the cosplay if you lost, gao-nee.'

Tatsumin-san twisted her body. ...Or was she twisting? It was hard to tell in the mascot suit.

'Tatsumin is on the side of little children, gao, so I can only wear wholesome outfits. I want you to understand that.'

"Don't worry. The only thing I'll request is the loach-scooping dance."

'Do you have a hobby of making maidens pull funny faces, gao...?'

"No. Not at all."

"Heh... I'll definitely avoid it again this time...!"

Riko-senpai was making some mysterious resolution as she gazed out the window.

Not this time. You alone aren't getting away...!

I made the same resolution. However, I turned my eyes away with all my might from Miyu-san, who was staring intently at me.

"You won't escape... I promise..."

I can't hear her. I can't hear anything...

Ignoring the cold sweat running down my back, I looked outside to change the subject. Then I saw a large building up ahead.

'We're almost there, gao.'

Tatsumin-san spoke in her usual listless voice.

'That's the reason I work so hard here.'

Her mascot-covered hand pointed ahead.

'Tatsumin Land, gao.'

There was an amusement park that had fallen into disrepair.

A Ferris wheel that no longer moved, and a roller coaster with nothing but its tracks. The car headed toward the place, where there wasn't a single sign of human presence.

I thought I heard a crow cawing in the distance.