The Clock Tower's Second Hand

"Hey, Goddess-sama. You're beautiful as ever today."

'That smug attitude of yours is unpleasant, so I'll multiply the gravity around you by ten. Since crawling on the ground would expose your ulterior motives, you'll have to sit formally on your knees instead.'

"Is this the weight of love?"

'As a reward for your persistence, I'll give you gold bars. I'll keep placing them on your lap, one at a time, without limit.'

"If possible, I'd rather you sit on me personally. You can increase the gravity all you like."

'No. I don't want you thinking I'm clingy.'

"What a shame... Oh, is it about time for my next reincarnation? The suggestion box, the suggestion box..."

'You can move around just fine under ten times the gravity, huh?'

"Well, I didn't reincarnate as dirt for nothing."

'That was the only thing it was good for.'

"I could move my consciousness around, but am I the only one who'd prefer to reincarnate as something that can move around freely this time?"

'I think anyone who became dirt would feel the same way.'

"Let's see... I was a flat stretch of land, so this time I'd like to be sleek and tall. Though I doubt that's likely."

'Compared to being dirt, most things are more likely.'

"Ta-da! From the pen name Inurōga Kurotsuchi: 'The Clock Tower's Second Hand.'"

'You'll be active, sleek, and tall. Congratulations.'

"Oh, thank you very much."

'As expected, you don't understand sarcasm. But this is another reincarnation destination you can't move from.'

"If I'd been a wristwatch or an alarm clock, I might've been able to travel."

'There's no need to limit yourself to clocks. Since you're going to do this anyway, let's decide on your options.'

"The dirt outside that remote dungeon was bored to death. This time, I want to be a clock tower in a setting where heroes and Demon Kings are active."

'The fact that boredom and tedium are your natural enemies means you're barely human anymore.'

"I've spent more time as something other than a human than as one."

'It's astonishing that your personality hasn't changed despite that.'

"An acquaintance from my human days taught me never to forget my roots."

'That's a nice sentiment, but do try to grow as a person.'

"I've gotten better at singing."

'You practiced a lot when you were dirt. Have you finished setting your options?'

"Yep, all set."

'――Maybe I should check them from time to time. What cheat-level options did you choose?'

"I set 'When I point to twelve, Ragnarok occurs.'"

'I'm removing that.'

"No!"

'You plan to cause Ragnarok every minute? What else?'

"I still have 'Stop time.'"

'And only you can move during it?'

"Yes. It suits a clock, and it sounds powerful, doesn't it?"

'I'm removing that.'

"No!"

'That would just make the clock run wrong. It would only cause trouble.'

"You're telling me to survive as the second hand of a clock tower without any cheat Skills?"

'A clock with either of those functions would be a target for elimination. Especially the second one, which would make it a defective product.'

"The rest of the options are all pretty lame, though."

'Do your best. Though I don't know if you'll be able to.'

◇

'Hm, is it already this late? ...Looking at the clock reminds me of him. It feels like so much time has passed. I wonder if he's doing well.'

"I'm back."

'Give me back my melancholy.'

"Were you lonely without me? I'm honored."

'Since you've experienced being a clock, I'll install you in the desert as a sundial now.'

"Living as a clock in a human body would be a little rough."

'Don't downplay it as just a little. Anyway, let's hear your report.'

"I became the second hand of the biggest clock tower in the kingdom that served as the hero's base. There were so many people around!"

'Compared to the dungeon in the remotest corner of the world, I suppose there were.'

"I wasn't too happy about all the couples meeting up right beneath me, though."

'It's the biggest clock tower, after all. It makes a perfect meeting spot.'

"So Big Bro Hour Hand, Big Bro Minute Hand, and I worked together to throw off the time and confuse everyone about when to meet."

'Oh dear. There were two more terrible otherworldly reincarnators.'

"It's the age when someone would suggest becoming the second hand of a clock tower. It wouldn't be surprising if someone else had thought of becoming the minute or hour hand."

'We had the Demon King's Castle Door (Left), too.'

"Big Bro Hour Hand and Big Bro Minute Hand were both good hands."

'There aren't good or bad hands.'

"Big Bro Hour Hand was popular with the spirits who possessed the clockwork automata a few times a day, and he always praised them for their hard work."

'What a good hand. Just imagining it warms my heart a little.'

"Big Bro Minute Hand was a bit of a cynic and was always clicking his tongue."

'What a bad hand. Though isn't that just the sound a clock hand makes as it moves?'

"But his whole body was made of jewels, so he was always shining."

'What a good hand. Were the brothers made of different materials?'

"Big Bro Minute Hand was made of jewels, and Big Bro Hour Hand was made of World Tree wood."

'Good choices to match their personalities. Though it would've been better if they matched.'

"And I, the second hand, was made of dark matter."

'That's what you get for neglecting to check the fine details of your options.'

"It was hard work coming up with a character."

'Was it the type whose right hand throbs?'

"I was a dark-lord-type second hand."

'Don't tell me you became the Demon King of that world.'

"No worries there. A human had fallen into despair over life and become the Demon King, just as they should."

'I see. That's a relief. Or should I say it is?'

"First, as for what our days were like, they were more or less the same."

'I imagine every day was identical down to the second.'

"No, the hands had prepared events to keep things exciting each day."

'I have a bad feeling about this, but go on.'

"First, Big Bro Hour Hand trained the spirits who possessed the automata and added all sorts of new performances to the clockwork theater."

'That's wonderful. It must've been incredibly popular.'

"Next, Big Bro Minute Hand picked a different person to pick a fight with every time."

'That's one rotten hand.'

"But many of the people Big Bro Minute Hand lectured went on to become figures of great historical importance."

'I'm a little conflicted, but let's call it a good thing.'

"And finally, with my option 'When I point to twelve, a random spell activates,' I kept the people entertained every day."

'You really did it. Did you shower them with magic 1,440 times a day?'

"Most of the time, it was healing magic that cured the wounds and fatigue of people nearby."

'I'd like to call you a good hand, but I didn't miss that you said "most of the time."'

"Every now and then, attack magic rained down."

'Of course you did something awful.'

"The attack spells hit couples."

'It was random, but your aim was accurate.'

"Once I got used to it, I'd get this hunch like, 'Oh, an attack spell's coming next.'"

'It isn't surprising you'd know, given you used magic 1,440 times a day.'

"I was probably the most proficient with magic in the world."

'I'm glad you weren't firing off magic every second.'

"Yelling out the name of a spell every second would get tiring."

'You yelled them out every minute?'

"Only for attack spells, though. It was about once an hour."

'I'm amazed anyone would choose to meet at a clock tower that shouted out an attack spell every hour.'

"It was popular because it was thrilling."

'What a hardy population.'

"But one day, the King's parade was hit by a Thunderclap of Judgment."

'The King was judged by a mere second hand?'

"The King must've gone mad, because he ordered them to destroy the clock tower."

'I'd say the people had been the mad ones until now.'

"But the clock tower was a place of comfort for everyone. The citizens protested, saying it was unreasonable."

'I think they had a point.'

"The hero was among them."

'He was there, too?'

"He was the man in the couple I'd always hit with pinpoint magic."

'So you had a history with the hero. Just what you'd expect from a dark-lord-type second hand.'

"Since the hero had spoken up, the King gave up on destroying the clock tower."

'The hero saved you.'

"But the King insisted, 'Investigate the secret behind the clock tower that keeps firing magic, and fix the problem.'"

'That's reasonable.'

"Then the hero used his considerable intelligence to uncover our existence."

'If you were shouting a spell name every hour, he could've figured it out without being smart.'

"Then Big Bro Hour Hand was removed."

'It's a shame the hero's intelligence fell short.'

"They suspected Big Bro Hour Hand because attack magic was fired once every hour."

'I see. It may have been random, but it was always an attack spell every 3,600 seconds.'

"The deciding factor was that my voice when I shouted the spell sounded like Big Bro Hour Hand's."

'Were you imitating his voice?'

"My experience from my previous life came in handy."

'So you didn't just sing—you trained for that, too. But if you'd stopped firing magic, wouldn't the suspicion on the hour hand have cleared up right away?'

"No, I was so shocked that Big Bro Hour Hand had been removed that I couldn't bring myself to cast magic."

'A convenient state of shock. You did a fine job pinning the blame on him.'

"And so, for a little while, peace came to the kingdom."

'The one who disturbed that peace said it.'

"But when I finally cast a spell again, the King's parade was hit by a Storm of Tyranny."

'Are you sure you weren't aiming at him?'

"Unbelievably, they decided to destroy the clock tower again."

'Of course they did.'

"But the clock tower was a place of comfort for everyone. The citizens protested, saying it was merciless."

'I think they'd shown you plenty of mercy.'

"The Demon King was among them."

'That was one person who absolutely shouldn't have been there.'

"He'd originally been a citizen of this kingdom, but after suffering one misfortune after another, he'd fallen into despair and become the Demon King."

'Right. The Demon King absolutely shouldn't have been there.'

"The clock tower was a place filled with memories of his past."

'If you're putting it that way, I'll make an exception.'

"It was a place full of memories with his former lover. The people left behind couldn't bear to lose it."

'That should be a touching story, but because of you, it somehow falls flat.'

"By the way, he became the Demon King because his girlfriend dumped him and he despaired of life."

'That makes the Demon King seem even more pathetic.'

"He'd been waiting to meet her when he was struck by the Thunderclap of Judgment and hospitalized. She dumped him because he stood her up for their date."

'So you were the one who created the Demon King.'

"He's a pretty small-minded Demon King, isn't he?"

'After all that, the fact that he's trying to protect the clock tower makes him seem pretty big-hearted.'

"Since the Demon King had spoken up, the King gave up on destroying the clock tower."

'This time the Demon King saved you.'

"But the King insisted again, 'Investigate the secret behind the clock tower that keeps firing magic, and fix the problem.'"

'That's reasonable.'

"Then the Demon King used his considerable intelligence to uncover our existence."

'The hero had already figured it out, so it must've been easy.'

"Then Big Bro Minute Hand was removed."

'It's a shame the Demon King's intelligence fell short, too.'

"I was made of dark matter, after all."

'Come to think of it, dark matter is a substance that can't be observed optically.'

※Dark matter: Look it up on Wiki. I don't really understand it.

"Besides, the Demon King was blinded by the jewels and wanted to use them to fund his army."

'That seems self-serving. So you were shocked at losing another brother and pinned the blame on him again by losing your voice?'

"No, I'd hurt my throat from shouting after such a long break."

'You weren't shocked at all?'

"A week later, my throat had healed, so I happily cast a spell—and it hit the King's parade..."

'Does that King have parades way too often?'

"The Blazing Inferno of Mercy hit him."

'You're the merciless one here.'

"You might think I'm lying, but they decided to destroy the clock tower again."

'Of course they did.'

"But the clock tower was a place of comfort for everyone. The citizens protested, saying they were heartless."

'I think they'd shown you plenty of heart.'

"Tanaka-san was among them."

'Who?'

"Tanaka-san, an ordinary person who sometimes passed by the clock tower."

'Seriously, who is that? He has nothing to do with this.'

"Every now and then, I hit him with an attack spell."

'You managed to involve him, too. And after that, he still wanted to defend the clock tower?'

"He likes pain."

'Well, there you go.'

"Since Tanaka-san had spoken up, the King gave up on destroying the clock tower."

'Isn't that King far too easily swayed?'

"But the King insisted again, 'Investigate the secret behind the clock tower that keeps firing magic, and fix the problem.'"

'That's reasonable.'

"Then Tanaka-san used his considerable intelligence to uncover my existence."

'Was he really that smart?'

"He exposed me, the second hand made of dark matter, as the source of everything."

'Was Tanaka-san more capable than the hero and the Demon King?'

"But Tanaka-san had become addicted to my magic, so he let me off the hook."

'Too bad. But wouldn't that mean it would come out that you'd started firing spells again and the problem hadn't been solved?'

"The shock of Tanaka-san being creeped out by me left me unable to cast magic for a while."

'You were pretty mentally fragile in that world.'

"While all this was going on, the Demon King invaded."

'So he succeeded in selling off the minute hand and expanding his military.'

"The Demon King's army was powerful. They broke through the city's defenses, and chaos erupted in the streets."

'The serious plot took long enough to show up.'

"I thought, 'What a bastard, attacking the kingdom that had taken such good care of me!' So I attacked the Demon King's army, which had set up camp in front of the clock tower."

'You're the bastard here. And I'm disappointed by the Demon King's lack of learning.'

"Until then, I'd held back to avoid killing anyone, but at last I began using my magic in earnest."

'You call the Thunderclap of Judgment, Storm of Tyranny, and Blazing Inferno of Mercy nonlethal?'

"After spending a long time honing my magic, I unleashed my full power on the Demon King's army one spell after another, and finally cast a Healing Meteor Shower on the Demon King, too."

'I'd like to know what part of meteors raining down on someone is supposed to be healing.'

"They were shaped like cute animals."

'I'll just barely allow it.'

"And so, despite the tragedy of the hero's death, the Demon King was driven back and peace returned to the world."

'You casually slipped in that the hero died.'

"He was crushed beneath meteors shaped like cute little dolphins."

'I expected as much.'

"That's about it. In the end, the clock tower was destroyed, and that was the end of my life."

'So it really was destroyed.'

"A Healing Meteor Shower hit the King during his parade."

'You never learn, do you?'

"Tanaka-san, who should've helped me, died during the battle with the Demon King's army and seems to have reincarnated in another world."

'We'll need to keep an eye on that troublemaker.'

"I was fairly satisfied, but I still felt like something was missing without any heroines. And even putting that aside, it was painful to lose my brothers."

'Whose fault do you think that was?'

"Oh, right. I brought you a souvenir this time."

'Last time it was dirt, so I didn't give it a second thought. What is it this time?'

"The corpse of Big Bro Minute Hand."

'What a good hand. I'll put him on display.'