Chapter 119
Burning at the stake. The worst punishment.
The pain of burning was the most severe pain any living creature could feel.
It wasn't a matter of mental fortitude.
The moment a living creature was burned, it couldn't help but know.
-Ah, fuck, this hurts like hell.
Just how painful it was.
And Darian jumped into the flames of his own accord.
“W-What kind of lunatic is this!”
“Aaaah...”
Beyond the flames, the members of the bishop's faction who had been trying to buy time panicked in terror.
Some screamed as though they were looking at a demon.
Others trembled violently in fear.
- Isn't a hero supposed to have some kind of fire resistance?
ㄴ Yeah, I think so too.
ㄴ Otherwise, who would jump into fire like that? lol
ㄴ Took you long enough to notice.
The gallery assumed he had something up his sleeve.
After all, he was technically a hero.
There had to be something.
Head Mod*: You fucking lunatic.
But there was no such thing.
The lunatic had dived into the fire with his bare body.
- Holy shit, he's burning nicely.
- Guess there really isn't anything lol;
- Aaaagh, his skin is boiling in real time, fuck;
- Wow... wow, no, that must hurt like hell...
- But why isn't he screaming?
The gallery soon fell into confusion after realizing that the hero had nothing.
But even as time passed.
Even as his flesh cooked, Darian didn't blink, let alone scream.
He made his way through the flames toward the members of the bishop's faction at a steady pace.
“It doesn't hurt.”
Darian said.
“I will prove my faith.”
At that bizarre sight, I ended up muttering blankly.
“No, it fucking hurts.”
Darian was human.
If he burned, he would die.
How was what he was doing any different from saying to me, “Am I going to die? Am I really going to die?”
“But he is a gallerybro.”
I couldn't just stand by and watch a life fade away.
I quickly searched through the system, and soon remembered one of the notifications that had appeared when I designated him.
[Select the current ‘gallery owner's’ ability.]
“Right, this popped up.”
The wording that had appeared when I designated the gallery owner.
It was a notification that seemed to be telling me to choose a skill tree from a game.
When I entered it, a list of abilities that could be awakened appeared one after another.
[Here is the list of abilities ‘Darian’ can awaken.]
1. Faith
Awaken your faith through belief in Head Mod.
All attacks become holy attacks, and you become immune to holy attacks.
2. Gallery Hero
Receive a little more ability sharing.
Physical abilities are greatly enhanced.
“Hmm, that's ambiguous.”
These were the first two that caught my eye.
Number 1 did catch my eye, but Darian was currently walking across fire.
It didn't seem like it would help much.
But number 2 was ambiguous too.
It didn't clearly state how much his physical abilities would be enhanced.
3. Will (Not recommended!)
If you have the will, there is nothing you cannot do.
“Will?”
There happened to be one more ability.
The problem was that it came with the hardest-to-understand description.
I thought figuring out the speaker's intent was something you only did in Korean reading-comprehension questions.
“Hmm.”
Fortunately, I was a liberal arts major.
Judging from the short, cryptic explanation, it seemed like it might be the most broken ability of all.
If you have the will, there is nothing you cannot do.
Didn't that mean that with a strong enough will, walking through fire and healing wounds were both possible?
“Of course, I have no idea how strong that will has to be...”
Seeing as he had jumped into the fire and was walking through it, this ability seemed like a perfect fit.
The thing that bothered me, however, was the “not recommended” warning.
[Warning, awakening this ability may result in side effects.]
[Are you sure you want to select this ability?]
I hesitated for a moment at the intimidating wording.
But since I had already made up my mind, I pressed number 3.
“Well, I guess I'll find out if I select it.”
Without knowing why it had told me not to choose it.
*
[The gallery owner's ability will be awakened by Head Mod.]
[Ability – Will]
If you have the will, there is nothing you cannot do.
“Hmm.”
Darian, who had been walking through the flames, checked the system notification and grinned.
“Are you telling me to prove my faith?”
At first, I thought it was an ability with no effect at all.
But soon, he felt an indescribable sense of fullness surge throughout his entire body.
“!”
The muscles that had burned and stopped functioning began to grow back.
It was as though time were being reversed.
Every one of his cells regenerated the instant it was burned by the flames.
[If you have the will, there is nothing you cannot do.]
“Aah!”
Overcome with emotion, Darian shed tears of joy and completely crossed the flames.
“...”
“Fucking hell...”
The expressions of the heretics gathered beyond the flames froze in shock.
They looked as though they were witnessing something that shouldn't exist in this world, and they no longer even had the courage to confront him.
The spears they had been aiming were lowered, while the mages fled to the corner and crouched there.
Darian strolled through their midst as though it were his own home, diligently searching for someone.
“Bishop!”
“!”
And at the far end, he found the last of the bishops trying to escape through a side passage.
“Aaaagh, fuck, stay away! You monster!”
Every living being was born with a predetermined nature.
Some, like dragons, were great from the moment they were born.
Others, frail like humans, had to struggle with their whole bodies just to survive.
No matter how hard a human struggled, they could never become a dragon.
But Darian had surpassed that through his faith in Head Mod.
“Ugh...!”
The soldiers guarding the bishop split to either side, trembling.
The bishop, left pitifully alone, pulled a cross from his waist and held it out in front of Darian.
“Begone, you devil!”
How could someone who had jumped into the flames and smiled brightly be called a hero?
At that moment, a clean hand without a single scorch mark grabbed the cross.
“!”
After taking the cross from the startled bishop, Darian placed something in his hand.
“...A can of tuna?”
Just as the bishop muttered blankly.
-Slash!
The bishop's head was swiftly severed.
As everyone fell silent, Darian reclaimed the can of tuna, held it high, and shouted.
“Worship the new god!”
“!”
“The tuna can is His body, and cola is His blood. The cathedral shall be reborn!”
The reformation of the cathedral.
No, it was the moment the Church of Head Mod was born.
*
The cathedral was brought back to normal.
The previous powers had died, and its deep-rooted corruption had been purged by physical means.
The remaining members' corruption was thoroughly investigated, and the beheading event showed no sign of stopping.
- Kya-kya-kya, Adrian's normalization in action.
- Serves those pus-filled scumbags right lololol
- As expected, the Dragon Emperor handles things cleanly.
In Adrian, taking kickbacks was legal.
In a place where people even said such things, Darian's existence itself was an ecosystem-disrupting species.
[Title: Update on the Cleric Who Tried to Offer a Kickback...jpg]
(Meme of a door flying away, broken in half)
(Meme of a cleric begging for his life in horror)
I offered him a kickback of one million gyeongdan
But he got furious and asked if I was insulting him instead.
His genuinely confused expression at seeing someone refuse a bribe for the first time was fucking hilarious lol
[Upvotes 7411] [Downvotes 12]
- Wow, getting to watch this live lol
- Pay an admission fee before watching, you.
- Wow, Adrian's counter lol
- No, but with that much money, you'd think he'd be tempted.
ㄴ For real, what does he live on?
ㄴ (Tuna can meme)
ㄴ (Praise Him while holding a tuna can! Hero emote)
ㄴ lol, all kinds of emotes are appearing.
“Well, up to this point, it's good...”
Until this point, he had the perfect image of a hero by anyone's standards.
Refusing kickbacks, purging corruption, and possessing overwhelming strength.
Even when he announced that he would completely reorganize the cathedral, everything was still wonderful.
[Title: Cathedral Reorganization Notice]
Author: Darian
Hello, everyone in the gallery.
I'm posting this as an important notice regarding the cathedral.
(Meme of an otherworldly god statue in the center of a prayer room)
(Meme of Darian smashing it to pieces)
(Meme of a beautiful Head Mod statue being placed in its stead)
The only god of this world is Head Mod.
Do not believe in strange gods.
Therefore, the cathedral will be renamed the Church of Head Mod.
That was fine until he went beyond merely reorganizing the cathedral and spouted nonsense about creating the Church of Head Mod to worship me.
-Head Mod*: You fucking lunatic.
ㄴ lol, that's definitely a Head Mod summoning ritual.
ㄴ This bastard does things worthy of worship every time, so why does he tell us not to worship him?
ㄴ Shh, you must never say that.
The cathedral had been corrupt for a long time.
A corrupt religious organization was nothing but a pustule.
Cutting it out was good, but this was no different from a new tumor growing on top of the pus.
“Who would like this?”
It was obviously a cult from the outset.
No one, whether they supported the old cathedral or the gallery, could possibly defend this.
-Orange faction) Finally!!!!!!
ㄴ We believe in Orange!!!!!!!
ㄴ I was wondering when this crazy bastard would show up lololol
ㄴ A textbook example of holding out until victory lol
- Church of Head Mod, fuck lol
- Seems pretty decent?
I support it.
- Seriously, if I had to donate to the cathedral, I'd go there and donate while looking at the beautiful Head Mod statue, yeah.
“Huh.”
There were more people than I expected.
[Title: Reasons the Church of Head Mod Really Isn't That Bad]
1. First of all, they don't exploit believers.
2. The highest-ranking person is a hero,
This bastard simply hates every dirty deed, including bribery.
3. Donations are voluntary, and the use of donations is disclosed transparently.
So most of the donations go toward producing beautiful Head Mod statues, and the quality is insane.
(Statue of a beautiful Head Mod smiling and giving out a can of tuna)
Fuck, Head Mod noona, I'm dying.
[Upvotes 9999+] [Downvotes 0]
- That's right, yeah.
- It's literally just point 3 doing all the work, so stop pretending to be logical lol.
ㄴ Author) lol, got caught.
-Head Mod*) Fuck.
ㄴ lol, is she here herself?
ㄴ She seems to curse more and more as time goes on.
ㄴ Beautiful-girl profanity? Even better.
Head Mod worship had gone beyond being a meme and had begun happening in real life.
“This can't go on.”
But I wasn't happy about it.
More than anything, I preferred the gallery's Head Mod to some cult god.
-Head Mod*) Guys, enough already.
ㄴ (Stop! Elf emote)
ㄴ You think that'll work?
ㄴ Yeah, no chance. Just accept the worship lol
ㄴ I've already donated 100 gyeongdan.
But gallerybros weren't the kind of people who listened just because I told them to.
The fact that their de facto leader, Darian, jumped into the flames said it all.
“I didn't want to do this either...”
It was good that the cathedral issue had been resolved, but it seemed necessary to cool down the atmosphere before it went too far.
The so-called carrot-and-stick strategy.
[‘Head Mod's Marketplace’ will be temporarily closed.]
-Head Mod*) [Stop]
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Kyaaaaargh
ㄴ Kehk, kehehk...
ㄴ (Elf being strangled emote)
There had been a lot more trolls in the gallery lately.
“Then I suppose I should give out a Reward?”
First, it was time to bring down the stick.