Chapter 120
[Notice: I really wasn't going to do this, but I'm revealing my gender...]
Author: Head Mod*
It's me, everyone.
I know the memes in the gallery well,
and I especially know that the Head Mod worship meme is trending.
But you've gone too far.
You put up statues of me and pray to them, and sincerely worship me, but you wouldn't listen when I told you to stop.
(Meme of elf lips filling the entire screen)
Then I guess you deserve a Reward?
For the time being, worship, the 'Damn, I saw Head Mod' template, god.jpg, and goat are all prohibited.
If you violate this,
I'll take it as a challenge to Head Mod and impose a punishment.
[Upvotes 8123] [Downvotes 3121]
- Are you fucking kidding me? That's part of my daily routine.
- sax
- Ah, fuck, give us a warning before posting elf memes.
ㄴ S-sincerely, I do think it's a little pretty...
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Gallerybro, gallerybro, what are you talking about?
- Hmm... Anyone volunteering for the advance party?
- Seriously, is there no martyr?
- Damn it, it's a Head Mod notice... I have to worship!!!!!
ㄴ [Suspended from activity for 24 hours by the system]
ㄴ Gasp
ㄴ Fuck, banned from the gallery for 24 hours? Is Head Mod a demon?
ㄴ I'll remember this!
ㄴ x
It was prime time for the trolls to respawn.
I decided to clean up the gallery.
“But these trolls are on a whole different level.”
The problem was that they weren't ordinary trolls.
They weren't trolls who drew shock images, tactical nukes like naked orc pictures, or comics about stone golem seduction.
They were worship trolls.
And not even the WWE-style worship they did as a joke—sincere fanatics had appeared.
They were the trickiest kind of trolls.
“You can't reason with them.”
What were ordinary trolls like?
They couldn't be reasoned with either, of course.
[Title: Eeeh... I'm rabbitfolk, but my libido is too strong, and I'm worried ㅠㅠ]
(Meme of muscular male orcs competing in a test of strength)
Beware your curiosity.
For your curiosity will ultimately lead you to death.
I shall spare you once.
[Upvotes 0] [Downvotes 102]
- Aaargh, aaaaaargh!!!!!
- Ah!!! Fuck!!!
- “I pulled out all your eyeballs and spared you,” my ass lol
- I always wonder, why do these bastards do this when they take psychic damage too???
ㄴ “Because it's fun.”
ㄴ Because watching your reactions is worth even more.
ㄴ Author) (Meme of an excited orc lunging forward)
ㄴ Ah, fuck lol
But physical force worked.
Trolls were like terrorists who waited for the quietest time of activity to launch their attacks.
They targeted times when moderation was lax because they were afraid of getting banned in the first place.
Give them the greater pain of a gallery suspension, and the problem was solved easily.
-Head Mod*) lol, this is fun
ㄴ Head Mod*) Divine punishment “100 times”
ㄴ Author) ??? No, seriously, when the hell do you sleep?
ㄴ [This IP has been blocked.]
ㄴ [Block duration – 100 hours]
ㄴ Holy shit
ㄴ Head Mod is everywhere.
Naked orc pics? Compared to Grandma's Seduction Tactical Nuke, it was like watching a cute puppy meme.
Having been tempered by gallery activity in my past life, trolls were no match for me.
The real opponents were these worship trolls.
[Title: Accept it]
Author: Darian
Why are you sad?
It is a trial bestowed upon us by God.
Weep for joy.
God is watching you.
[Upvotes 502] [Downvotes 12]
- Ahh, I finally understand the meaning.
- Aaaah, Head Mod, please take everything I have!!!
ㄴ [Suspended from activity for 24 hours by the system]
ㄴ Gasp, we've been noticed by God.
ㄴ Brother, I'm so jealous!!! Please notice me too!!!
“No, this is fucking insane.”
That was why worship trolls were truly frightening.
Whatever I did, all the resulting benefits were thanks to me.
Conversely, all the losses and drawbacks were their own fault.
If I beat them senseless, it was because they had dared to make me personally step in and beat them.
If I threw them a can of tuna, they interpreted it as the grace of their merciful Head Mod.
-Head Mod*) (Meme: Ahh, Head Mod is so scary)
ㄴ (Meme: Praise Him!)
ㄴ Ahh, Head Mod!!!
ㄴ Aaaah, Head Mod noticed me!!!
So the usual method of training trolls didn't work.
That's where the limitations of the stick became apparent.
“Hmm, then what should I do?”
This was when it was time to bring out the carrot from the carrot-and-stick strategy I'd thought of earlier.
I took my eyes off the gallery and looked at the marketplace window.
[Spam 340g] - 3p
Do you hate Spam?
You're a spy, aren't you?
As it happened, I had the perfect carrot.
*
- Ah, fuck, those cathedral bastards lol
- I know they're devout, but why are we being punished too?
- Release the tuna cans!!!!
- I feel like I'm going insane
It had been 12 hours since I hit the marketplace with a ban as the stick.
A full day had not yet passed, but the gallerybros, conditioned by the gallery, began to scream.
It wasn't just dozens of people; tens of millions of people around the world were clamoring.
By this point, any group would have started to waver.
“This is a trial.”
“Ahh...”
“Do not waver.”
At the center of the prayer room, where sunlight poured down.
When the hero standing with his back to the beautiful-girl Head Mod statue spoke, all the worshipers bowed their heads deeply.
They were all fervent believers in Head Mod.
Each of them owed Head Mod their lives for their own reasons.
They had personally experienced Head Mod's efficacy and powers, and believed in Head Mod to the depths of their souls.
“Hero, but even Head Mod told us not to do this...”
Cathedral knight Colin spoke cautiously, but Darian's expression was unyielding.
From his expression, Colin sensed that they would never back down.
‘Head Mod did show us some pretty incredible things...’
Colin wasn't a fanatic, but he understood why they were acting this way.
He had created food out of thin air,
reattached severed limbs,
and used incomprehensible magic to turn rifts into gyeongdan copiers.
‘Maybe it's stranger not to believe.’
He was starting to wonder if he was the abnormal one.
He was just thinking that this stalemate would continue for a while.
- Holy shit, marketplace items are up!!!
- What? There's just one sitting there.
- Did he upload it by mistake?
ㄴ Mistake or not, buy it all up first!
The gallery suddenly began to stir.
It was just as Colin hurriedly clicked the post, wondering what was happening.
[Featured Post: Yep~ I successfully bought it~]
(Meme of a piece of Spam held in someone's hand)
Seems to be food, at least.
It's similar to a can of tuna, but the material is different.
Of course, I've never seen the material before, so I don't really have a way to describe it.
(Meme of a lump of Spam)
But what is this?
Something that looks slippery came out.
I tried a bite, and, um... it's tasty, but strange.
It doesn't quite measure up to canned tuna, though?
[Upvotes 5921] [Downvotes 502]
- You bastard, your fingers are fucking fast.
- Are you eating it all by yourself? Share some.
- (Meme: Elf pounding the ground and crying)
- I tried it too, and it's kind of middling, yeah.
“Hmm? A new food.”
But most people judged it merely so-so compared to tuna.
Of course, compared to the food here, it was heavenly, so selling out was only natural.
‘Did Head Mod bestow this upon us so we wouldn't starve?’
Thinking that, Colin clicked on another post.
And the next post received a dramatic reaction.
[Title: Woof woof!!! Grrr,...woof woof woof woof!!!!!]
Author: A Dog That Barks When It's Tasty
(Meme of Spam browned nicely over a fire)
(Meme of Spam placed on top of rice)
Woof woof woof! Woof, whimper, sob, aah...
- LOL, what the fuck is this now?
- He's bawling his eyes out while eating it lol
- But didn't he say it only tasted so-so?
ㄴ Seriously, it just tastes like dog food, doesn't it?
ㄴ Author) You fucking bastard
ㄴ Gasp
ㄴ It must be so delicious it made him speak human.
ㄴ Is it better grilled over a fire?
What was the gallery?
It was a place where people researched how to make the foods Head Mod put out taste even better.
Considering that even a thousand-won store-bought bun was premium food to them,
Spam grilled over a fire was truly the taste of heaven.
- Holy shit, I just lost half my life.
- Wow, no, wow... wow lol
- I can only laugh lol This is fucking hilarious lol
ㄴ Seriously, the flavor is just fun lol
ㄴ Ah... I'm happy... I really feel alive hehe
ㄴ Ah, fuck, I couldn't buy it.
ㄴ (Elf sneering meme)
Spam grilled over a fire.
Spam dipped in ketchup they'd stocked up in advance.
Spam wrapped in golden-brown white rice.
The gallerybros who realized those special properties soon went wild, frantically sharing recipes.
[Title: PleasegiveusmorePleasegiveusmore]
(Selfie meme of someone eating Spam and sobbing)
It's so delicious, waaahㅠㅠㅠ
Ahh, why didn't I know about this sooner?
(Meme looking up from below)
Head Mod-nimㅠㅠㅠ Please release moreㅠㅠ!
- Gasp
- Head Mod*) Hehehe
ㄴ lololol
ㄴ No way, fuck, another 1,000 units just went up in the marketplace.
ㄴ Author) Thank you!!! ><
ㄴ So fucking honest lol
“No, is it really that delicious?”
Colin's eyes wavered nonstop.
He was a gallerybro before he was a cathedral knight, after all.
He knew all too well how delicious the foods from the marketplace were.
He immediately pressed the purchase button, but...
[Cathedral IPs cannot make purchases.]
“What!!!”
Head Mod had blocked it.
“This is a trial! Do not waver!”
Darian shouted at the agitated worshipers.
But everyone felt it.
How much Darian's eyes were wavering.
How violently his lips and hands trembled as he imagined Spam.
“Grrrgh...!”
“Hero?”
The hero who hadn't even blinked while standing in the fire was nearly losing his mind over marketplace food.
Canned tuna—how delicious had it been?
It was a flavor that made the veins throughout his body cry out.
It had been a gracious taste that saved his soul and made him feel alive.
- Wow, fuck, it's even better than tuna???
- No, seriously, they're neck and neck;
- Wow, fuck, it's so fucking delicious lol!!!!
-Thud
In the end, Darian fell to his knees and trembled.
“Head Mod, why would you put me through such a trial...!”
It was just as he began breathing heavily and struggling.
Then a notification arrived for Colin.
Head Mod*: You want to eat Spam, right?
Colin: !
Head Mod*: Then feed the hero a piece of Spam.
Head Mod*: Then I'll give you 10 pieces of Spam lol
Colin's eyes widened as far as they could.
Ten pieces of Spam!
If he divided each can into three portions, ten cans would provide a full ten days of meals.
“B-but...”
How could he betray them?
Then Head Mod gave him a fitting justification at the perfect moment.
Head Mod*: Huh? This is a ‘divine mandate.’
Head Mod*: Hurry up and do it.
“A-a divine mandate...”
Colin knew better than anyone.
that Head Mod hated being treated as a god,
and that this was nothing more than him giving Colin an excuse.
But he was still human, in the end.
“...Hero.”
He placed a hand on Darian's suffering shoulder.
It was at that moment that Darian painfully turned his head.
“I'm sorry. Blame me!”
“Sir Colin! Mmph!”
He quickly shoved a well-grilled piece of Spam into the hero's mouth.
*
[The monthly bounty has ended!]
[Your ranking is first place! Good work.]
[The first-place reward, ‘AK47 (7-day duration),’ has been awarded.]
The reward was placed in the hands of a man who had worked as a bounty hunter.
Head Mod's great magic was awe-inspiring just from its appearance.
“AK47...”
He had won the first-place reward, granting him the use of that power for an entire week.
He smiled, overcome with emotion, for a while, then immediately loaded the bolt,
-Click!
“At last, I can make it happen...”
He walked toward Kellierton with an ominous smile.