Chapter 121
“I found the counter...”
That's Spam's upgrade.
The trick was to release Spam in the marketplace only when they behaved.
I'd managed to easily handle even the most difficult worship trolls with Spam.
- How the hell are we supposed to resist this?
ㄴ Seriously, if you can resist this, the first thing to question is whether you're human.
ㄴ Try saying, “Fuck you, Rift.”
Eventually, even the hero crumbled before Spam.
[Notice: Compilation of Answers About Spam]
Author: Head Mod*
It's me.
Inquiries flooded in after I posted Spam, so here's a reply, yeah.
Q. Are you going to release Spam regularly?
ㄴㄴ I'll release it if you behave.
Q. Release Spam more often.
Memes worshipping me are fine.
But if you get serious about it, I'll ban everyone, and Spam will disappear from the marketplace too, yeah.
As long as you don't do that, I'll consider it.
Q. This is tyranny, you son of a bitch.
(Meme of a mustached man with the Head Mod logo composited onto him)
Anyway, worship memes are allowed again.
But I am clearly a human being.
Since I'm not an omniscient, omnipotent god, I obviously can't be an object of worship.
[Upvotes 9999+] [Downvotes 2]
- What the fuck are you talking about with “flooded”? You wanna die?
- Give us a one-line summary.
ㄴ You son of a bitch.
ㄴ Stop taking it too far.
- Head Mod: I'm not a god (while shaking the world with a single gesture)
ㄴ Why do you keep doing things worthy of worship when you say not to worship you? (Genuinely asking)
ㄴ Gasp
ㄴ You must never wonder about that.
- Then is it okay as long as we don't mention you directly?
ㄴ Head Mod*) Want to die?
ㄴ Don't be so harsh...
ㄴ I have nowhere to turn... My parents are dead, and I don't have any brothers or sisters.
ㄴ Seriously, all I have left is Head Mod...
“Hmm...”
I don't mind memes, but I hate being worshipped.
But seeing that last comment left me feeling strange.
Everyone in the gallery is cheerful, but all too often, reality isn't so kind.
After thinking it over, I asked a sub-mod who seemed to have received some worship before, and a reply came back.
DragonDragonWillDie: Mortals are frailer than you think.
Head Mod*: What are you talking about?
DragonDragonWillDie: Mortals' lives are as precarious as candle flames.
DragonDragonWillDie: They can even go blind simply by falling,
DragonDragonWillDie: and a brief brush with a blade can poison and kill them.
DragonDragonWillDie: That's why mortals always seek something strong and overwhelming to rely on.
DragonDragonWillDie: Especially a merciful being like you, right? :)
People don't die easily.
But they can be hurt easily.
A mere few seconds can inflict permanent damage on body and mind, leaving someone to suffer.
That's why, DragonDragonWillDie said, people desperately seek gods and something to rely on.
- Please don't abandon us!
- If you're gone, we're screwed...
- (Elf grabbing someone's collar emote)
Just then, gallerybros anxious over my notice were leaving comments in the gallery.
After a brief hesitation, I left a comment.
ㄴ Head Mod*) Okay, just make sure it isn't directed at anyone in particular.
ㄴ Head Mod*) Nothing excessive. e.g. “In the name of God...” No.
ㄴ ...!!!
ㄴ sax!!!
ㄴ (Elf trembling her ears emote)
So I announced the best compromise I could find, but was even that the right thing to do?
Soon, every sign and book in the cathedral referring to me disappeared.
And so did the old cathedral culture, passed down from previous generations, of selling gods and emphasizing doctrine.
[Nameless God]
The nameless god.
Instead, alongside a subtle title, a new faith was born that became, however slightly, a refuge for the people
in their hearts.
*
- 3 delicious ways to eat Spam
- Try grinding Spam before eating it.
- Final Spam Research Lab.jpg
- It's the real GOAT if you put it on fishman meat.
The cathedral plot finally came to an end, and the gallery entered a brief period of peace.
In particular, the power of the newly released Spam was comparable to canned tuna,
and after all sorts of recipes and research, people began finding ways to make it even tastier.
“The bounty settlement is finished this time too, right?”
The magical beast bounty, which had an AK47 as its reward, was still going strong.
I was curious because the gallerybro who'd taken first place still hadn't posted anything...
[Title: Please tell me I made the rankings...?]
(Meme of a chef's refrigerator in a kitchen)
It dropped, so of course I had to post it lol
Yep~ this is the current Tier 0 ultimate refrigerator.
To the few gallerybros who own refrigerators?
Fuck off, don't get cocky.
The Chef Collection Refrigerator is a god, and I'm invincible.
[Upvotes 102] [Downvotes 1551]
- Fuck, I'm jealous.
- (Elf emote raising her middle finger with a look of disgust)
- Wow... seriously, what would that feel like?
- Die.
Interest picked up again when the user who'd won the second-place refrigerator started humble-bragging.
That was exactly the part I was aiming for, too.
“Publicity? What's that?”
Gallerybros who won rewards would post bragging messages, which publicized the magical beast bounty.
The resulting fees steadily piled up for me, so wasn't this the true meaning of auto-hunting?
There weren't any problems caused by this, either.
After all, people skilled enough to make the rankings wouldn't cause trouble for no reason.
No, more precisely, I thought they wouldn't.
Full-HP Elf: Head Mod, Head Mod!
Head Mod*: ?
Full-HP Elf: Did you see the featured post? It's a disaster!
“Huh?”
At Full-HP Elf's frantic-looking message, I opened the featured post.
And there I saw a post with a bizarre title.
[Featured Post: Don't worry, I'm an armed robber]
(Meme of someone holding the queen hostage)
(Meme of a throne room in chaos)
I will...
purify this rotten world!
[Upvotes 102] [Downvotes 3202]
- You lunatic.
- Don't you feel sorry for our cute Queen-Queen?
- Boo, you piece of trash.
“What the hell is this?”
The AK47 awarded to first place.
A man holding it had captured Kellierton's Queen Evelyn and was taking her hostage.
*
“You lunatic, let Her Majesty go!”
Inside the chaotic throne room.
Crisis came without warning to Evelyn as she munched on canned tuna.
“Don't come any closer. I'll shoot!”
“Grrk...”
A man had broken into the throne room, hurled her can of tuna aside, and threatened her.
Of course, that should have been impossible.
Even though it was a newly founded nation, the throne room where the queen sat had airtight security.
To put it bluntly, the throne room could withstand even a surprise fireball.
“Grrk, of all times...”
“Is Head Mod watching?”
The problem was that the man was holding Head Mod's great magic—a gun.
Even a dragon couldn't stop a gun.
The knights couldn't easily approach Head Mod's weapon, which was practically an absolute armament.
They didn't know much, but the moment that man so much as twitched a finger, everyone would become Swiss cheese.
“W-why are you doing this...?”
Evelyn wore an expression of utter injustice.
Becoming queen had already made her busy enough.
She had barely finished her duties and started enjoying a little happiness when he broke in and knocked her can of tuna aside.
Knocking aside her can of tuna, of all things.
It was important enough to mention twice.
“Shut up!”
“Eek!”
Then the black muzzle pressed against Evelyn's cheek.
The man's expression was already far from normal.
His eyes were filled with madness, and he was breathing harshly from excitement.
There was something deeply suspicious about those bloodshot eyes, no matter how you looked at them.
“I lost my entire family to people in power.”
The man muttered while staring half into empty space.
Evelyn felt even more wronged.
“I didn't do anything.”
But her voice didn't reach the man.
“Emperor Adrian is just a child, and the pope is dead.”
A sweet voice had been whispering in the man's ear for a long time.
[Kill all those in power.]
[Avenge your family.]
It was a deep voice burrowing into his brain.
Already half-broken, he was incapable of resisting that absolute voice.
An ordinary man like him had been granted enough power to take first place in the bounty rankings.
“Head Mod! Show yourself! The voice is whispering for me to kill you!”
The man shouted up at the sky, at Head Mod, who he believed was watching this scene from somewhere.
“If you don't come out, Head Mod, I'll kill this canned-tuna queen!”
It was truly a hair-trigger moment.
- Isn't this seriously dangerous?
- But how is the kingdom's security this damn lax? lol
ㄴ It's a gun, you idiot.
ㄴ Try defending against it. I'll bring a gun and threaten you, yeah.
The gallery was getting serious about the situation too.
Then a message appeared before everyone's eyes.
Head Mod*: It doesn't have any bullets, though?
“Ah.”
The first-place reward was an AK47.
But no one had said anything about putting bullets in it.
The man's expression quickly froze as he belatedly realized the truth.
*
I'd put a gun in the first-place reward.
But I hadn't put any bullets in it.
“Isn't that obvious?”
Even in the modern world, where the dangers of firearms were well known, gun accidents happened all the time.
I intended to provide only a small number of bullets when he contacted me in real time during the week.
Because he might cause trouble.
Of course, I hadn't expected him to storm the royal palace.
“He looks a little strange.”
His eyes were red.
The fact that he kept muttering made it seem like he wasn't in his right mind, either.
We'd have to catch him first to find out.
But the man slipped out of the throne room with bizarrely quick movements.
[Title: Current Status of the #1 Bounty Ranker...jpg]
(Meme of him walking through the streets)
(Meme of knights fiercely chasing him)
Threatening the poor Tuna-Tuna Queen
But he's running because he has no mana conduit or bullets lol
[Upvotes 102] [Downvotes 2]
- Is this for real?
- Wow, but he's fucking fast lol
ㄴ Seriously, no wonder he got first place.
ㄴ But something seems off about him.
The man's speed was fast, as befitted someone in first place.
But eventually, inside Kellierton.
Since the gun was useless, it didn't take long for the encirclement to close in.
“Don't come any closer!”
Eventually, the man grabbed a passing woman as a hostage and stopped the knights from advancing.
- What a fucking coward.
- Let's settle it one-on-120 like a real man!
ㄴ You son of a bitch, that's fucking cowardly lol
ㄴ But that's the right move for a criminal.
The man pressed a dagger to the woman's neck, bringing it just close enough to graze her, as if to show he wasn't joking.
Most of the gallery's reaction was negative, naturally, but mine was a little different.
“Something's wrong.”
A female gallerybro had suddenly become a hostage.
She could easily have screamed or panicked, yet she was unnaturally calm.
In fact, even with a dagger pointed at her neck, there wasn't a trace of fear on her face.
“Um...”
The woman slowly removed her hood.
Beneath it were blond hair, amber eyes, and flawless, milky skin without a speck of dirt.
But for some reason, she didn't look normal.
The woman was breathing heavily, her face flushed with strange excitement.
“By any chance, do you know why there's a sweet scent around here?”
Her appearance was different, but I realized it instinctively.
“Dryer?”
She was Dryer, the well-liked gallery user.