Chapter 14
Featured) The Current State of the Three Worst Monster Meats..jpg
(A goblin soup meme)
(An orc barbecue meme)
(A troll meat-chunk soup meme)
Three genuinely god-awful, trash-tier, disgusting, vomit-inducing foods so bad I feel sorry even comparing them to dog food. Yep.
I've hunted monsters all over, so this is probably a familiar meal for you hunter types.
But.
(A meme showing various MSG products, such as Mitu and Dasida)
Things changed after this guy appeared.
Monster food is something you only touch after starving and starving until the absolute last resort, but now this insane ingredient makes you eat it even when perfectly good food is still available.
Just tossing it into water boiled with meat gives it a convincing depth of flavor. It's legendary.
Three-line summary
1. Head Mod put out something called MSG
2. Monster food became fucking delicious
3. Head Mod, fuck, I love you. Come here for a kiss.
Upvotes 534 Downvotes 31
- No way, it's that delicious? Isn't this a bit much?
- Viral marketing ㄷㄷ
ㄴ Those who can't taste anything, shut up and lurk.
ㄴ For real; even a little bit makes food fucking delicious.
ㄴ For real, it becomes even more delicious than chicken.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ ? Fuck, no, that's not true.
Featured) So, should we all upvote if we like Head Mod?
Head Mod ← If he's fucking lovable, upvote lol
I want to drag him over and plant a kiss on his cheek for real lol
Upvotes 999+ Downvotes 1
- Lol, upvote~
- LOL, what's with the downvotes identifying themselves?
- He solves our hunger and catches trolls too. What can't Head Mod do?
- Head Mod☆) This is sexual harassment. Stop.
ㄴ LOL, Head Mod oppa is kinda cute?
ㄴ Lol, ah, seriously, I might just drag him over.
ㄴ Author) Why stop? Who told you to keep doing only commendable things? Why are you acting so fucking lovable and then telling me to stop? Fuck, get over here and get in position.
ㄴ No, this is genuinely dangerous.
ㄴ This bastard was serious the whole time?
“The location-tracking prevention is working properly, right?”
The gallery was going completely insane.
As someone who had been camped out in the gallery longer than anyone and had even become Head Mod, I was surprisingly not much of a swearer.
It even felt like I was attempting profanity restraint Lv999.
Why had these guys been threatening to kiss me ever since I started treating them well?
“Well, if it gets truly dangerous, I have plenty of options.”
[Shop/Weapons]
-Pistol
-Submachine gun
-Shotgun
-Rifle
.
.
The shop was god, and I was invincible.
For example, the KK2 rifle, the tears of Korean men in my previous life, cost only 650 mana dumplings.
As a former soldier with the highest combat ability and an expert marksman, everyone would be a one-shot kill before me.
“As long as it doesn't malfunction.”
Since it had a 50% chance of malfunctioning, a 50% chance would determine whether I won or lost.
Of course, I didn't need to resort to such a last resort.
The horn WholesomeDemure had given me was still diligently hiding my location.
“By the way, is monster meat really that disgusting?”
I had seen monsters like orcs and trolls in memes circulating around the gallery.
I'd only seen posts saying people occasionally ate them to survive, never any reviews of how they tasted.
So, out of curiosity, I once asked FullHPElf, a member of the meat lovers' club.
FullHPElf: Head Mod, don't eat monster meat...
......
Head Mod☆: Why
FullHPElf: If I say don't eat it, don't eat it, you fucking bastard.
Head Mod☆: What
I could roughly guess from that intense reaction.
“Still, MSG isn't omnipotent. They'll stop at some reasonable point.”
But I didn't think much of the gallery burning so fiercely.
What was the gallery for, anyway?
Wasn't it a place where the topic changed dozens of times a day, on all sorts of subjects?
By tomorrow, this fad would obviously die down, and the gallery would be plastered with all kinds of stupid posts.
[Ending the Sacred Sword's Light function.]
I turned off the light and went to sleep.
But there was one thing I didn't know.
Just how powerful MSG was to the people of the Otherworld, who would eat curry that tasted like shit if it meant surviving...
*
Title: Rate My Monster Meal ㅅㅌㅊ?
(A wild orc meat soup meme)
(A meme of villagers swarming around in a frenzy and sprinkling MSG)
I caught a forest troll that usually lived in a cave in the mountain behind the village and turned it into barbecue lol
That bastard had no flavor, was fucking huge, and was hard to hunt, so it had always been a pain in the ass.
But after the villagers tasted MSG, they all rushed over and beat it to death as if they'd planned it together.
The nearby goblins were left utterly bewildered.
Watching them stand there stupidly before panicking and running away was fucking hilarious lol
They were kind of cute, too lol
(A meme of chasing after the goblins and killing them)
But the next meal is grilled goblin.
ㄴ That's fucking terrifying;
ㄴ Why do all the people have the exact same expression? They look like some kind of cult;;
ㄴ Seeing them worship MSG, it might actually be a cult.
ㄴ So is Head Mod the cult leader?
ㄴ LOL, “village gallery users,” my ass lol
ㄴ Wow, that's the first time I've seen a monster run away too.
ㄴ ㄴㄴ It does happen sometimes. Not because they're afraid, but as a strategic retreat by a few monsters capable of thinking...
ㄴ That one is just running in blind panic.
ㄴ I'd run too if an orc had beaten me black-and-blue and was sprinkling MSG all over my body;
Title: Can You Eat Zombies?
Our neighborhood has become heavily undeadified, so no matter how hard I look, there are nothing but zombies.
Ah, there are zomblins if you go farther away, but their skin is just as rotten.
Would these become tasty if I sprinkled MSG on them too?
- You guys, don't eat zombies.
ㄴ Author) Why?
ㄴ You fucking bastard.
ㄴ You damn bastard.
ㄴ Aren't you missing something?
ㄴ LOL, he just started cursing immediately lol
“What the hell.”
The next day, the gallery was even more chaotic.
The Featured posts were still diverse, but the discussions now focused exclusively on lewd pictures and monster-cuisine recipes—and there were plenty of both.
It started with goblins and orcs, then moved on to trolls and even the undead.
- Skeletons are deathly delicious!
- They're great for boiling into something like bone broth.
ㄴ What do you do if there's still flesh attached?
ㄴ Then you can go to the afterlife gallery, yep.
ㄴ What?
The mana was what moved undead creatures with nothing but bones.
And people were boiling them whole and eating them.
There was even the bizarre phenomenon of zombies fleeing when people tried to hunt them.
Featured) Why Dwarves ← These Bastards Are Idiots...jpg
(A scene from the campaign to retake the Kilgrot Kingdom)
They had all these delicious things around, yet they were whining about having no food and asking for supplies.
How was that any different from saying you were hungry while standing in front of a conveyor-belt sushi restaurant or a buffet?
- Oh, right, fuck.
ㄴ They had such a macho image, but it turns out they're just idiots.
ㄴ As expected, the Dwarf Emperor is a stupid, dumbass, idiot sea cucumber.
ㄴ The Dwarf Emperor dieting even in the middle of an extreme crisis is pretty impressive, now that I think about it.
- Taldru) Didn't they not have MSG back then?
ㄴ Idiot.
ㄴ Stupid sea cucumber.
ㄴ Elf bestie.
ㄴ Taldru) Elf bestie, come up here.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Taldru) I'll smash your head in.
ㄴ Yikes;;;;;;
But as always, whenever a festival atmosphere broke out, there was one race that wanted to pour cold water on it.
Featured) You Pathetic Other Races Are So Inferior
Where did the healthy, vegetable-based diet and dining etiquette go?
Watching all of you wolf down monster meat and whatever else, you look no different from goblins.
We don't eat slimes or monsters living nearby like you do.
The fact that we have to breathe the same air in a place like this is deeply insulting!
The gallery really ought to be managed by elves.
(A human knight giving a thumbs-up)
Upvotes 174 Downvotes 999+
- An elf-hater pretending to be a beastman pretending to be human;
- Ah, those damn elves, it's you again!!!
- The Elf Emperor is still the disco dancer who crashes funerals.
- FullHPElf★) Just to be clear, I have never agreed with or supported this opinion in the slightest.
ㄴ LOL, cutting ties that fast?
ㄴ As expected, FullHPElf's judgment is king lol
- These fake upvotes are ridiculous.
- You holed up and starved after the Great War, so what dining etiquette are you talking about?
- Did the monsters follow that etiquette when they ate you?!
- Please roast me a little more.
ㄴ ??
ㄴ Could this really be the ultimate elf counter...
“The reactions are intense.”
The saying that if something goes wrong, blaming the elves is usually the right answer really was true.
The elves had manipulated the upvotes to get their post Featured, but the gallery was sharp when it came to manipulated Featured posts.
One elf's Featured post was immediately dogpiled by countless races, ending with them taking it down in disgrace...
But the post had clearly caused repercussions.
- But didn't they just say slime?
- Did slimes live near the elf forest?
- Huh, slime?
- Sounds tasty?
Despite being monsters, slimes had a distinctive, tangy flavor from their poison, without any fishiness or bitterness.
The gallery users who remembered that taste, along with hunters who enjoyed monster cuisine, turned their eyes toward Elad.
- All right, let's go~
- Get ready, elves~
This became the first catalyst for every race to flood into Elad, where the other races had never approached before.
*
[Admin Chatroom]
VampireTillDeath: Orange badge! Orange badge?
Head Mod☆: Yeah, why are you calling me?
VampireTillDeath: (A cup and bowls filled with sticky monster blood, alongside chunks of meat)
(A selfie of VampireTillDeath holding an orc with both arms and taking a huge bite)
MSG, this is truly outstanding!
The sticky, fishy blood has become beautiful.
This is nothing short of a riot!!
Head Mod☆: Yikes; I'm glad you like it, I guess.
VampireTillDeath: I want to praise you!
I... remember now!
Orange badge! I feel like kissing your cheek!
Come here, get ready for a kiss!
Head Mod☆: Eeeek
Leaving VampireTillDeath's sudden death threat behind, I looked over the gallery, which had become even more of a madhouse.
- Grinning Wyvern Meat Taste Review
- Grilled Monster Snails ← Surprisingly fucking delicious bastards...
- I'll tell you about my marketplace and daily monster-food routine...jpg
The gallery was even more fired up about monster cuisine.
Simple recipes involving cutting up meat and boiling it had diversified tremendously.
Countless monster-cuisine chefs were researching what ratios made the ingredients taste good when mixed together.
The craze reached its peak, and some people even set out on the path of hunting monsters themselves.
-KABOOM!
-SKREEE!
“No way, it came this far?”
The noise outside the storeroom was proof of that.
The crazed voices of hunters could be heard here and there, along with hordes of monsters attacking them.
I briefly considered going outside, but decided to stay holed up in the storeroom.
Anyway, the reason the gallery was burning especially loudly compared to usual was simple.
Featured) I Ate a Meal with an Elf lol
(A meme of a knight sharing slime cold salad and noodles with a blonde elf in Elad Forest)
(A meme of an elf drooling over monster cuisine)
I came to Elad to hunt slimes because I was interested in them, and an elf approached me.
Then, at some point, they settled in and started eating the food I made for them.
They've been eating it so eagerly that it's already been three hours lol
As expected, no matter how much those elf bastards called monster cuisine vulgar and all that, this was their true nature lol
(A meme of an elf closing both eyes in happiness)
Lol, get ready.
I'll turn you into someone who can't live without monster cuisine.
Upvotes 999+ Downvotes 174
- You bastard!!!!!
ㄴ LOL, the elf is cute.
ㄴ Ah lol, you can't hide your true nature.
The elf had learned to love monster cuisine right then and there.