Chapter 149
[Title: Elf...jpg]
(Bamboo Shoot GIF)
lol
[Upvotes 1] [Downvotes 1]
- (Goblin-human comparison GIF)
ㄴ Posted by) (GIF of someone pulling an elf's ear)
ㄴ (Crown Prince Frederick GIF)
ㄴ (GIF of an elf getting hit by the World Tree)
ㄴ You really want to die? :)
ㄴ Posted by) lol, I could probably wipe you guys.
ㄴ What are you guys doing?
One downside of the Gallery: anonymity.
Actions that would have been done cautiously offline were freely unleashed on the Gallery.
They'd suddenly throw out provocations and abuse, then drop tactical nukes into the late-night Gallery.
Naturally, talk of an IRL fight followed as smoothly as water flowing, but it was never actually carried out.
“It's too far away.”
The places where the different races lived were extremely far apart.
Even the nearest elf and human would have to walk for days and nights to reach each other.
Besides, if you went all that way and the other side didn't show, that was that.
It simply couldn't happen in reality.
“That's why I opened it for you.”
[Level Up! 11→12]
[Real-Life Fight Gallery Unlocked!]
Real-life fight venue provided
Injuries will be treated when the fight ends
At the Head Mod's discretion, the fight may be stopped midway.
*5,000p required per use.
It was a system that created objects out of thin air and sent them to me.
Things like this weren't surprising anymore.
The problem was the price.
“Whoa, that's expensive.”
A whopping 5,000 points.
Converted into rice cakes, it was equivalent to several months' wages for an ordinary person.
“But how exactly does this open?”
Still, I was curious.
An injury-free IRL fight.
Not only would no gallery user die or get hurt, it would provide perfect dopamine, wouldn't it?
Before using the system, I returned to the post to get consent from both sides.
- Posted by) lol, I could beat an elf with one hand ^^
ㄴ Wanna fight me for real?
ㄴ Wanna f-fight meee?
ㄴ Heeaaagh!
“They're still fighting.”
The two monsters, unable to let go of their pride, had been fighting in the post's comments for hours.
Thanks to that, quite a few gallery users had gathered to watch the argument.
- Head Mod*) Are you really going to fight?
ㄴ Posted by) Isn't that obvious? lol
ㄴ Absolutely!!! I'm gonna fight!!!
ㄴ lol, even the Head Mod came to watch
- Head Mod*) Then I'll provide you with a place where you can fight and be treated without injuries.
ㄴ Posted by) ?
ㄴ Is that really possible?
“I didn't really believe it myself.”
A PvP venue would open as soon as they accepted?
Even the gallery users who had been watching the argument were skeptical.
- lol, you believe this?
- If that were possible, you'd have opened it ages ago.
- But the Head Mod is a great mage, so maybe he really can?
Half thought it could happen, while the other half thought it looked fun.
ㄴ Posted by) lol, no way
ㄴ Posted by) No, realistically, there's no way this can happen.
“But it's true.”
I might lie elsewhere, but I don't lie on the Gallery.
The poster seemed to think I was faking it and said, still looking unconvinced.
ㄴ Posted by) Okay, if it's real, I'm going out.
ㄴ Posted by) I'll go out there and give that elf a hard knuckle ^^
ㄴ That's rich coming from you. I'm really going to get you!
ㄴ Posted by) “I won't let you off” x, “I won't leave you alone” o
ㄴ Aaaagh!!!
Both fighters happened to agree.
[Would you like to open the field using 5,000p?]
“It was a waste of points, but whatever.”
I hadn't unlocked the Real-Life Fight Gallery for nothing, abandoning ??? in the process.
Besides, there were more than enough ways to make up the cost through betting and popcorn sales.
I could make back what I'd spent opening the field.
[PvP has begun!]
[Please show it lots of interest.]
- ? Wait, this is actually working?
- Something new just appeared above the Featured Posts.
- Wow, I'm actually seeing a human versus an elf with my own eyes lol
ㄴ Go all in on the human!!!
Thus, amid fervent interest, the PvP began.
“Ooh?”
At the same time, a new tab opened above the Gallery, and when I clicked it, a field had really opened.
Two people stood in a place like a huge vacant lot.
They looked flustered as they faced each other.
“Didn't think it would really work, did you?”
But on closer inspection, that wasn't it.
Rather than being startled by the teleportation, they seemed to be shocked at the sight of each other.
It was when I zoomed in to check their faces.
- ?
- Huh?
- No, what the fuck is this?
What appeared enlarged on the screen were a human and an elf...
No, two pointy-eared people.
“What?”
An elf and an elf were standing in the field.
One of them was even a familiar elf.
“Full-HP Elf...?”
The identity of the troll who had gone around provoking elves while pretending to be human was the submod, Full-HP Elf.
*
“I don't like this.”
Inside the Kingdom of Eladrien.
Full-HP Elf, Eliana, let out a heavy sigh.
The World Tree had left Elad.
No, more precisely, the World Tree had abandoned the elves.
There was no need to think about why.
“Drinking... all sorts of superstitions...”
The elves had spent hundreds of years acting like trolls when they should have been doing everything possible to please the World Tree that gave them mana.
Painting the tree and leaving pests called fairies to run rampant.
Was that all?
If the World Tree had left, they should have come to their senses.
But instead of reforming, the elves had only started relying on the Head Mod.
“There’s no hope...”
There was no hope. Not as a metaphor—literally.
Eliana desperately wanted reform.
While countless races and nations had been reformed under the Head Mod's leadership, only the elves remained stuck in place.
Her first priority was to reduce the elves' dependence on alcohol.
- Why elves need to quit drinking...jpg [1]
- We really need to come to our senses now!!! [5]
- The Chilling Future of Elves...jpg [3]
But even when she tried to shape public opinion on the Gallery,
and even when she tried to start a prohibition campaign among the elves in real life, it had no effect whatsoever.
ㄴ Elves don't listen
ㄴ Instead of that, Eliana, have a drink too~
ㄴ Waaah, this baby elf doesn't know about that ><
By now, all of Elad was filled with the smell of alcohol.
“Grrrr...”
In the end, Eliana fell to the dark side.
[Title: Ah lol, I can't take it anymore]
(GIF of someone pulling an elf's ear)
(GIF of Chamisul being dumped on the ground)
lol, all of you can die.
[Upvotes 5] [Downvotes 102]
- Heeaaagh
- What are you doing!!!
- (Elf emote raising its middle finger)
She had used her administrator privileges to create an alt account.
The elves hadn't come to their senses even with proper, polite words.
Even when she tried to reform Elad in her capacity as a knight commander, the elders weren't in their right minds to begin with.
“Elad is already doomed.”
Eliana's true feelings had slipped out.
If it couldn't be fixed, then let's give up.
Thus, the one elf who was awake eventually became a troll.
And this is more fun than I expected.
- Why are you mixing mint chocolate into the Chamisul? Aaaagh!
- Please... please stop...!
- If you're going to throw it on the ground, just give it to me, please!
“Heh heh, hihihik.”
Seeing the elves suffer gave her a strange sense of satisfaction and even relieved her stress.
“So this is why everyone trolls, huh...!”
In the end, Full-HP Elf became addicted to trolling that a submod should never engage in.
She even ended up dividing the elves against one another unintentionally.
- Head Mod*) Then will you fight if I provide a place where you can be treated without injuries?
“...A field?”
That was why she laughed at the Head Mod's words, too.
“I can just not go.”
Pretending she would fight in real life, then not showing up at the venue.
Her hands and feet were already trembling at the thought of the elf who had come all that way looking utterly dejected.
- Okay, I'll go out there and really beat an elf ^^
“Heeheehee...!”
And that was why she left that message.
Even if the Head Mod was a great mage,
creating a PvP field where no one could be harmed?
That was simply impossible.
Full-HP Elf, who had accepted so confidently, then...
[You have accepted the PvP.]
[You will be transferred to the field. 3...2...1...]
“Huh?”
She really did appear in the PvP field moments later.
The opponent she faced was her direct subordinate and deputy knight commander.
“...Knight Commander Eliana?”
“Melang?”
It was Melang.
*
Human versus elf.
The entire Gallery's attention focused on a battle whose very name made one's heart swell with grandeur.
- I'm betting my entire fortune on the human victory.
- An elf will win while lying down and drinking dew ^^
- An elf without the World Tree = a goblin
[Human victory: 72%]
[Elf victory: 28%]
[Caramel Popcorn] - 1p
[Puffed Rice, 170g, 1 bag] - 2p
A betting pool opened on the Gallery, and popcorn was put up for sale in the Market.
“Huh?”
But the one who actually appeared was the submod, Full-HP Elf.
- ?
- Why are there only two pointy-eared freaks?
- ...Lady Eliana?
Fortunately, only a few gallery users knew that Eliana was Full-HP Elf.
Head Mod*: No, seriously?
Head Mod*: You were the troll???
The submod was the troll?
I sent a chat in confusion, and Full-HP Elf on the screen blankly raised her head and stared at the screen.
Full-HP Elf: Why is this actually working...?
Her expression, somehow looking wronged, already seemed half resigned.
The exemplary knight commander of elf society was secretly an elf troll all along.
But the PvP had already started, and the two elves stared blankly at each other.
“No, why are you here, Commander?”
Deputy Knight Commander Melang couldn't accept reality.
“This isn't supposed to happen!”
“...”
“We're not supposed to fight each other like this!”
What a model, upstanding elf she had always been.
Eliana might even have been someone she admired.
And yet Eliana, her direct superior, was the culprit who had mixed mint chocolate into Chamisul!
“I can't accept this!”
As her neck veins stood out in betrayal, a fist came flying at high speed.
“Then die.”
“Heeaaagh.”
Struck squarely in the forehead, Melang crumpled to the ground.
The winner was Full-HP Elf.
“Phew... It's okay for now. No one knows my nickname...”
Eliana's real-life image had been utterly ruined.
But her virtual persona, Full-HP Elf, was fine.
It was just as Full-HP Elf began muttering something in front of the fallen elf.
[Result: Full-HP Elf wins!]
[The PvP is ending.]
“Ah.”
The screen went dark along with Full-HP Elf's nickname, which rang out loudly across the entire Gallery.
- ???
- Lady Eliana... the submod...?
- (Emote: What the hell kind of phenomenon is this?)
Naturally, the chat window began to scroll upward like a flood.
I took my eyes off the Gallery and thought for a moment.
“So, to sum it up...”
The mega-troll who had been sowing division on the Gallery turned out to be the submod, Full-HP Elf.
And as the Head Mod, did I just beat up my submod after spending 5,000 points?
“Um.”
This had gotten too big to simply laugh off.
The Gallery's reaction was obvious, but just in case, I turned the screen back on.
- How is the elf troll an elf? lol
- All the elves are walking around dazed with cracked heads right now lol.jpg
- Full-HP Elf ← the only elf who was awake
- Lady Eliana? Lady Eliana? Lady Eliana?
- Current situation in front of Eladrien's castle gate...jpg
- Lady Melang's current expression...jpg
“Ah.”
Humans were laughing gleefully.
The elves, meanwhile, had risen up and were demanding an explanation from Full-HP Elf.
*
While the Gallery was exploding over the latest drama,
unlike the elves causing a commotion, Kellierton was peaceful.
Whether or not something happened to the elves was none of the humans' concern.
“Heh heh, this is fun...”
The man eating a Market convenience-store hamburger in the square rose from his seat.
The plastic bag, leftover sauce, and empty Coke can, too.
Normally, he would have taken them to one of the rifts scattered around town to throw them away, but the man headed to a nearby disposal site.
-Gurgle
There was a sewage slime waste-disposal facility installed under the Head Mod's direction.
“Is the Head Mod a god?”
With a flick, he tossed the trash into a nearby sewer, solving the problem.
The sewage and garbage collected from all over Kellierton had been dealt with this way.
-Gurgle!
Modern garbage, which took decades or even centuries to decompose naturally...
The sewage monster's bulk had grown exponentially compared to when it first appeared.
“Hmm...”
Of course, the people of Kellierton weren't unaware.
For a sewage monster that grew by eating sewage, indestructible trash was practically a delicacy.
“Well, they'll take care of it up top, right?”
No problem had broken out yet.
Then it probably wasn't a problem, right?
Taking it lightly, the man turned his back.
-Rumble
And before long, severe vibrations began to rumble from beneath Kellierton.