Chapter 150
“Come out and explain being an elf troll!”
“Does it make sense for an elf to turn against elves?”
“The Knight Commander must come out and perform a naked dogeza right now!”
“?”
In front of Eladrien Castle.
The elves had gathered in a noisy crowd to protest.
That Knight Commander Eliana had been a submod.
As if hiding that weren’t enough, she had also pretended to be human while trolling the elves.
[Title: The Current State of Eladrien...jpg]
Posted by: ElvesArePrettyCuteAndEverything
(GIF of an elf pounding furiously on a door)
(GIF of an elf covering its face with both hands and wailing)
(GIF of an elf lying on the ground and flailing)
There’s no way Lady Eliana...
The Queen’s own Knight Commander was an elf troll...
Come out and explain yourself right now!
[Upvotes 7434] [Downvotes 102]
- LMAO, it’s a complete mess
- How is the Knight Commander a submod LMAO
- I’m as angry as three bottles of soju!!!
- 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
- But isn’t she the one who was involved in that controversy last time?
ㄴ Jumping on the bandwagon while it’s hot lol
The elves had, naturally, gone completely berserk.
They pounded furiously on the door, demanding an explanation.
And before long, the door slowly opened, and a calm, blonde elf came out.
It was the submod, Full-HP Elf.
“Ah! She came out!”
“Fuck, grab her!”
Full-HP Elf had committed crimes against the elves that could never be forgiven.
Her crimes included kicking bottles of soju.
Dumping unopened soju into the sewers.
Mixing mint chocolate into soju and drinking it, among other things.
The elves shouted furiously for someone to catch Full-HP Elf.
“S-Should we grab her?”
Yes, they only shouted.
Full-HP Elf was the weakest among the submods...
But by elven standards, she was the only elf favored by the World Tree,
and a formidable warrior who even held the position of Knight Commander.
As a member of the Meat Lovers’ Club, she had plenty of protein in her diet and impressive strength as well.
“Y-You grab her.”
“I don’t want to. You grab her...”
They shouted for someone to catch her, but who would dare threaten Full-HP Elf?
Besides, she hadn’t really broken any laws.
More importantly, Full-HP Elf’s mood was different now.
The normally calm and docile elf was nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was only a blonde elf who had given up on everything and was ready to go down fighting.
“E-Explain yourself!”
A green-haired elf mixed into the crowd shouted.
“What. Is it.”
Full-HP Elf’s head snapped around, and her eyes flashed like a ghost’s.
“Eeeek.”
“Eeeek.”
Elves were perfect bullies—weak to the strong and strong to the weak.
That was a defining elven trait: they knew exactly who was above and below them.
“I was forcibly made a submod, and I already had so much work to do...”
When Full-HP Elf started walking, the crowd split apart like a wave.
She grabbed the trembling green-haired elf’s ear with her bare hand.
“Eek! Ah, it hurts!”
The elf trembled with tears in its eyes, but Full-HP Elf had no intention of going easy on her.
“I tried reasoning with you nicely every time, but you never listened... Even after the World Tree left, all you did was guzzle alcohol...”
How many reforms had she wanted to see?
How hard had she worked?
But after a single bout of trolling, the elves had swarmed together to take her down.
Having gone dark, Full-HP Elf sent me a chat.
Full-HP Elf: I’ve realized it.
Full-HP Elf: This is how elves are supposed to do things.
Reason with elves properly?
Build a better society by majority vote?
There is no such thing.
This is right for elves.
Full-HP Elf had realized that.
“Th-This isn’t right!”
Another elf nearby shouted, remembering the Full-HP Elf who had always been so idealistic.
This made no sense.
Elves weren’t supposed to treat each other like this!
“Then die.”
But Full-HP Elf had no intention of listening.
“Eeeek!”
She had even grabbed the ear of the elf who had been shouting.
Watching the situation, I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“No, is this really okay?”
I had been worried that Full-HP Elf would be overwhelmed by the crowd and suffer for it, but the situation had gone in exactly the opposite direction.
But was being this coercive really the answer?
“No, maybe it works because they’re elves...”
The end of coercion was always ruin, but...
Thinking about it again, it seemed like it might work because they were elves.
“How is the Gallery reacting?”
The problem was what the Gallery users watching this thought.
Full-HP Elf was a submod before she was an elf.
If they were unknown beings outside the bounds of society, like Yongyongi or Die-Smoking, it would be fine.
But if someone belonging to society, like Full-HP Elf, was a submod, it could become a problem.
Someone could bluntly say, “This is only possible because the Head Mod is covering for her!”
“The stage has been set perfectly for trolls to run wild.”
So I checked the Gallery.
- Well, an elf was being an elf. So what?
- Post a spicy tuna can, you mod bastard
- What happens inside Eladrien is none of my concern
ㄴ Don’t say such lewd things
ㄴ ?
“What?”
Nobody was interested.
No, rather than being uninterested, everyone was focused on another problem right now.
A new featured post caught my eye.
[Featured Post: Shit-Tasting Curry vs. Curry-Tasting Shit]
(GIF of a peaceful street in Kellierton)
(GIF of the screen suddenly shaking as if there were an earthquake)
(GIF of an enormous shit fountain exploding)
Fuck, I was making curry
[Upvotes 2012] [Downvotes 4903]
- Ah
- No, fuck
- Wait, no, sir
- Eeeeeaaagh!
- No, is this actually real? Why is the ground shaking in real time?
“Huh?”
A shit fountain had exploded underground in Kellierton.
Before I could process what was happening, the bunker began shaking violently.
-Boom!
With a deafening roar, a massive shockwave engulfed the bunker.
*
The Kellierton sewers had exploded.
The sewage monster, left unattended because nobody cared, had grown stronger by eating the overflowing garbage.
What shot into the sky with tremendous force was a fountain of sewage.
No, a bomb.
No, it was an explosion on the scale of a massive blast.
“Ah, fuck, my house.”
My house had been blown away.
[Title: Kellierton Summed Up in One Image...jpg]
(GIF of a medieval public toilet)
[Upvotes 2039] [Downvotes 5943]
- Fuck, take the post down
- I went grocery shopping and came back to find my house had turned into a toilet
- Wasn’t it just some sewage bursting? Why the huge fuss?
ㄴ You fucking bastard
ㄴ Do you want to die? I really might kill you
ㄴ You fucking piece of shit
ㄴ LMAO, their reactions are on point
Looking down at the capital of Kellierton from the Mage Tower, I realized the situation was truly disastrous.
Everything from the west side of the square to the streets around it had been swept away.
Then the rampage of the sewage monster that shot upward caused some people to disappear along with their entire houses.
“Ah, fuck, my house.”
That was me.
The bunker was fine.
But the shop whose owner I didn’t know, built on top of the bunker, had vanished completely and cleanly.
The building that had been erected as a suitable disguise was gone, leaving only a barren wasteland.
- But what is the Head Mod doing instead of looking at this?
- Head Mod, take responsibility for my house!!!
- You told us to build it! You told us to build it!
And as always when an incident broke out, the trolls began to thrive.
People who had really lost their homes, or trolls pretending to be Kellierton residents, began demanding answers from me.
I looked over the posts with hollow eyes, then opened the one that had received the most attention.
[Title: But Isn’t This the Head Mod’s Fault?]
(GIF of a sewage monster larger than a two-story house)
(GIF of knights and soldiers struggling to fight it)
It was built under the Head Mod’s direction, but wasn’t it neglected because there was no maintenance?
Wouldn’t it have been fine if you’d paid attention even once?
[Upvotes 392] [Downvotes 5320]
- Wow, what a shameless bastard LMAO
- Is the Head Mod the king of Kellierton? Why should he care?
- They think kindness is a right because it kept being given
- 1 point
It was obviously a low-grade bait post.
I usually ignored posts like that and moved on.
- Head Mod*) Ah
But I didn’t have that luxury now.
ㄴ Posted by) What’s “ah” supposed to mean? If you built it, you have to take responsibility lol. Am I wrong?
ㄴ Head Mod*) 3
ㄴ Posted by) 3? You’re trying to make another weird joke in a serious mood lol
“Ah, fuck, my house.”
I couldn’t leave the building above me broken like this.
The royal family might discover the bunker’s identity while repairing the streets.
If that happened, it would be no different from losing the geographical advantage I had kept hidden all this time.
An annoying problem had come up.
ㄴ Posted by) You mod bastard, you’ve never been serious in your life, have you?
ㄴ Posted by) Try arguing against me.
ㄴ Head Mod*) 2
ㄴ Head Mod*) 1
ㄴ (This user has been permanently banned.)
ㄴ Holy shit
ㄴ Huh?
ㄴ Head Mod*) What do you mean, “huh”? You wrote an inflammatory post too, didn’t you?
ㄴ Head Mod*) You’re next.
ㄴ Head Mod*) 3
ㄴ Head Mod*) 2
ㄴ I’m sorry. I wrote that post because I wanted to receive attention at least once. I swear to heaven that I absolutely never intended to offend or anger the Head Mod.
“There are no negotiations with terrorists.”
I was seeing red.
My life was divided into offline and online.
The ratio was around 0.1 : 9.9.
“Balance must be maintained.”
This ratio could not be allowed to deviate.
But when a problem arose offline—in the real world—it naturally affected the online world as well.
Just thinking about dealing with the land above the bunker and my house might cost me ten pages of featured posts...
No? It might cost me more than ten hours of Gallery time in total.
That meant losing Gallery time.
“Ngh, hhhk. Haaaah.”
Imagining that future made it hard to breathe.
Trolls? Fine. Things happen.
Tactical nukes? Tactical nukes were the Gallery’s identity. Of course I could let those slide.
“But you can’t stop me from using the Gallery.”
Hyperventilation set in, and my anger naturally shifted toward Kellierton for leaving this mess unattended.
- The Head Mod seems weird right now.
- I’d be pissed too. We helped them, and now look at this LMAO
- Everyone get down!!!
[Notice: Assemble at Kellierton]
Posted by: Head Mod*
(GIF of the sewage monster moving east)
Within 1 hour
1. Propose a solution for catching that thing
2. Propose solutions for resolving and preventing future damage
3. Explain why it was left unattended
If even one item is not submitted, the Kellierton IP shop is shutting down permanently.
* Beloved user Tuna Can Queen is exempt
[Upvotes 9999+] [Downvotes 0]
- Holy shit
- Please spare us
- But last time, he did tell us to manage it properly after installing it
- No, who’s in charge of sewer maintenance?
- Why is Tuna Can Queen exempt?
ㄴ Head Mod*) Because she’s cute.
ㄴ Ah, okay
ㄴ Can’t deny that cute is cute
ㄴ Tuna Can Queen) ㅇuㅇ
“Even if the world ends, the bunker will be fine.”
But I couldn’t accept the Gallery being disrupted because the bunker’s location had been exposed.
The sewage monster had happened to move somewhere else, too.
But rather than checking only through pictures, I needed to see with my own eyes what had happened above.
“That way, I can figure out how to deal with it or what to do.”
I took the famous sword that had been serving as a ventilation fan and slowly climbed the stairs.
What I saw was nothing but the ruins of a half-destroyed building.
“Ah.”
As the sewage slime surged upward, the broken debris had flown all the way here.
I stood dazed in the center of the ruins, then opened the Gallery and took a picture.
-Click!
“I have to make the featured posts.”
Even if my house collapsed, I had to make the featured posts.
Besides, plenty of Gallery users had lost their homes.
Featured posts were all about timing.
A featured post under the Head Mod’s account was tasty, but getting one listed under an utterly irrelevant alt was the most delicious of all.
[Title: Once I Came to My Senses, My House Was Gone]
Posted by: SecretOfALiberalArtsGhost
(Photo of a half-destroyed building)
lol
[Would you like to post this?]
“Let’s get to the featured posts and calm down first.”
I was just about to press the post button when it happened.
“A mortal remains in such a dangerous place.”
An unfamiliar voice came from behind me.
It had a cringeworthy manner of speech and a distinctive timbre that didn’t fit it.
“Is this your home?”
As far as I knew, there were only a few people who spoke in that tone and manner.
When I turned around, I saw gold.
Golden eyes were staring intently at me from extremely close by.
“Wait, hmm?”
Yongyongi was staring intently at me.