Chapter 152
[Title: Bring More of This]
(GIF of an elf pounding on a desk)
No, bring it all!!
[Upvotes 2025] [Downvotes 150]
- There are all kinds of emoticons lol
ㄴ Fact) There are more elf emoticons than emoticons for any other race
ㄴ I-I honestly think they're cute...
ㄴ What are you talking about, Gallery user?
ㄴ Mint chocolate—love it or hate it, hurry up
- But didn't we not give these to the elves?
ㄴ Huh? Seriously, why is that there?
ㄴ Fact 2) The elves even drink holy water, saying it smells like alcohol
ㄴ Inkiyaaaak!
ㄴ Dark elf eeeaaagh!
“They sure are having fun.”
A week after normalizing the sewage monster.
The Gallery was clamoring for more disinfectant.
The Gallery's nature made it prone to going a little overboard, but seeing posts about eating it was still hilarious.
“That just means you’re all very interested in hygiene.”
Surely they weren't going to eat disinfectant when they weren't even monsters.
I was deep in Gallery browsing when a woman with long red hair that suited her approached from far away.
Her detached golden eyes were especially mysterious...
It was Yongyongi.
“The construction of the building is complete, though I do not know whether it will meet your approval.”
When the confident Yongyongi stepped aside, a quaint two-story house came into view.
It looked like an ordinary medieval inn—not eye-catching, but not shabby either.
“It’s perfect. Here’s the money I promised.”
“Hehe, thank you.”
Hiring Yongyongi, who had suddenly appeared, as the construction worker had been the best choice.
She had cleared away the rubble by herself with magic and finished raising the building in less than three days.
She seemed visibly delighted when she received the money from me.
“I didn’t know you did this sort of thing.”
“To tell the truth, this is the first money I have ever received.”
“Huh?”
“Until now, kind humans have provided me with food, clothing, and shelter.”
She seemed to be referring to the top floor of the Mage Tower built by the Supreme Storm Mage.
It clearly hadn’t been voluntary.
The top floor of the Mage Tower had even been a place prepared for my sake.
‘Now it’s just a gathering place for lost, wandering dragon kittens.’
“Now, what do you think of the inside?”
Yongyongi proudly showed me the café inside the building.
Naturally, I was satisfied with the interior as well.
Like any dragon who had spent long ages trying this and that out of boredom, she was quite skilled at architecture too.
‘Though it does look like a design from a few centuries ago.’
“I’m equally satisfied.”
“Hehe.”
If anything, that was better.
The café was only an excuse.
I planned to hire some employees and use it to run things with minimal effort.
It was just as I was inspecting the interior with Yongyongi, who liked my compliments to a strangely excessive degree.
-Ding
Just then, a bell rang and someone came in.
“Excuse me, are you open for business?”
A young woman in shabby clothes.
She had apparently lost her home temporarily after being caught up in the sewage slime’s rampage.
“Would you like a cup?”
“...Yes! Thank you.”
I had absolutely no intention of hiring her, but she was shivering in the cold, and I felt sorry for her, so I decided to make her a cup.
“Boss, that’s...”
“Drip coffee. There’s only one flavor.”
Multiple menu options? No such thing.
Coffee, and coffee alone.
I brewed the coffee and handed it to the woman as two pairs of eyes stared at it curiously.
“Thank you, truly...”
Since mine was the only intact shop in this ruined neighborhood, I suppose it was only natural.
Wrapped in a blanket, she sniffled and hugged the coffee tightly to her chest.
And just as she was about to take a sip, she suddenly looked somewhere and her mouth fell open.
“Wh-What?”
“Hmm?”
Following her gaze, I saw none other than a container of disinfectant sitting by the entrance.
The woman looked at me with trembling eyes.
“B-Boss, that...”
“Ah, yes. Use it if you need it.”
“Really? Thank you!”
She had suddenly found herself out on the street, so she probably hadn’t even dreamed of being able to wash herself.
With a much brighter expression, the woman hurried over to the hand sanitizer with her coffee in hand.
Then, smiling, she poured the sanitizer
into her coffee.
“?”
What was this? Was she picking a fight with me?
I stared at her in shock, and she soon broke into a radiant smile and repeatedly bowed to me.
“Thank you so much for sharing such expensive holy water...!”
“No, but what are you doing right now...”
“Huh? Ah! It’s just that I’m so hungry right now...”
The woman smiled shyly with her eyes, then cheerfully exclaimed:
“I thought drinking the holy water made by the Head Mod might fill my stomach somehow!”
“Fuck.”
“Gasp, a bad word.”
Faced with an answer beyond my imagination, I ended up cursing her right to her face.
*
It seemed strange that the disinfectant was selling so well.
They called it holy water, but I never thought they’d actually believe it was holy water.
“I only looked away for a moment because of the construction...”
The Gallery was like a cat.
When I went through the posts one by one to see what they had been using it for, things were even more absurd.
[Title: Ah lol, I Caught a Criminal]
I caught a robbery suspect last time, and this time I got a confession with holy water.
(GIF of a man protesting that he wasn’t a robber)
(GIF of a suspect screaming when holy water is applied to his face)
(GIF of the suspect confessing that he really was a robber and begging them to stop)
You made the Head Mod’s holy water scream?
LOL, found the culprit!
[Upvotes 5392] [Downvotes 12]
- You’re a goddamn genius!
- Wow, this bastard’s a genius?
- You should just become Emperor of the Empire, yeah.
- I think this is the Head Mod’s alt. He’s frustrated, so he’s teaching us how to use it.
ㄴ Wow, you’re right.
ㄴ Seriously, it is.
ㄴ Head Mod*) No, fuck.
[Title: Humans Really Are Bald lol]
(GIF of spraying disinfectant into the air and smelling it)
(GIF of dipping clothes into it like perfume and taking them out)
Smell the fragrance. It smells exactly like soju, right?
Obviously, it’s a fashion item he gave us to use when dressing formally for important occasions, right?
And obviously he gave it to us to sniff when we’re anxious as a nerve-calming agent and mix a little into alcohol to drink, too.
You idiots lol
[Upvotes 1922] [Downvotes 3021]
- I’m really pissed, but it does sound right.
ㄴ OP) LOL, you have to admit it, right?
ㄴ Sounds like something you’d get smacked for saying.
ㄴ (GIF of an elf clutching an elf’s ear)
- But why are you bald, you long-eared bastard?
ㄴ “Hair”-lacking lol
ㄴ Do you really want to die?
“No, wow...”
At this point, I was practically filled with admiration.
How had they survived this long?
This was basically the Idiot Gallery.
Or perhaps the Otherworld Destruction Gallery.
[Notice: Important Notice Regarding Disinfectant...jpg]
Posted by: Head Mod*
It’s me.
Do you want to die?
Write it properly.
(GIF of the instructions for use on the back of the disinfectant)
For fuck’s sake, it says never to drink it or take too much.
[Upvotes 9999+] [Downvotes 102]
- This is the first time I’ve seen the Head Mod swear this much lol
- He was clearly a wholesome young man who didn’t swear at all at first...
- The Head Mod is an idiot lol
ㄴ He wants to keep all the good stuff to himself!
ㄴ Agreed, agreed!
ㄴ Head Mod*) (GIF of an elf being grabbed by the ear and lifted up)
ㄴ Eeeeeek
Even posting an announcement myself didn’t work.
Instead, they even scolded me for not knowing any better.
“No, what am I supposed to do about this?”
Part of me wanted to just leave them to it.
But if I did, they really seemed liable to get sick—or worse, die—from drinking disinfectant.
“You stupid Gallery... I still love you...”
In the end, this too was my responsibility for choosing to become the Head Mod of a Gallery like this.
If anything, it might even be an advantage for me.
The more rational and calm the Gallery users were, the less fun the Gallery became.
The fun of the Gallery was directly proportional to its level of stupidity.
“Actually, I kind of like it...”
After calmly composing myself, I organized my thoughts.
“Should I just stop spraying disinfectant altogether?”
If I didn’t spray it, nobody would drink it.
But the disinfectant had a wide range of uses, so I couldn’t do that.
Besides, I couldn’t solve every incident like this by simply not using it.
I thought for a moment, then realized the solution.
“Ah.”
Strong warnings weren’t particularly effective.
Especially because the more emphatically you said “never,” the more the Gallery tended to do it.
[Would you like to edit the product listing?]
“This should do.”
I made a slight addition to the warning.
*
- Put the holy water up in the marketplace already
- My anus’s patience isn’t that deep, yeah.
- If the Head Mod is going to act like this, I have no choice but to plant a kiss on him, yeah;
- The Otherworld Head Mod Sexual Harassment Gallery
Around the time the strange equation that disinfectant equaled holy water was spreading.
I couldn’t correct it quickly enough.
Eventually, as unnecessary demand grew amid strange folk remedies circulating, I put the disinfectant up in the marketplace.
[A new item has been added to the marketplace!]
- At! Long! Last!
- Is the holy water here!!!
- I’m going to drink holy water and become a health guru.
The Gallery immediately went wild.
Just as people swarmed the marketplace and clicked to buy the holy water.
!Caution!
*This item is a cleaning agent intended for hygiene.
*The marketplace accepts no responsibility for harm caused by improper use.
A chilling warning in red letters was prominently displayed.
It didn’t say not to do it; it said they wouldn’t be responsible.
Naturally, cognitive dissonance set in at first.
- What do you mean it’s holy water but you can’t drink it...?
- Aren’t we supposed to drink it to purge impure energy?
- It even smells like alcohol, so why...?
Even though I had never personally called it holy water, the image had taken firm root among the public.
But I made no effort to correct or explain it.
“They’ll interpret it however they want anyway.”
Anything could be interpreted in any number of ways.
And before long, the Gallery users began interpreting it among themselves and drawing their own conclusions.
[Title: Why You Mustn’t Drink Holy Water]
Holy water removes impure feelings? o
But why would the Head Mod tell us not to drink it?
I thought about it for a long time myself...
(GIF of a priest pointing straight ahead)
Can you call yourselves perfectly good?
Can you swear that you’ve never committed a single sin in your life?
That’s what “don’t drink the holy water” means.
You’re not a completely pure person, and you never will be.
Therefore, drinking the holy water would cleanse “you”—the impure thing itself—away.
Even the guys who held high positions in the church were all rotten.
I can confidently say that nothing alive in this world besides the Head Mod could drink holy water and remain fine.
So unless you’re an existence on his level, don’t drink it, yeah.
And you still drink it? That’s natural selection, yeah.
[Upvotes 6499] [Downvotes 102]
- This was it.
- Wow, I really understood everything in one go.
- This is definitely it.
- What about babies?
ㄴ Our Gallery users don’t know about original sin?
“No, uh...”
I didn’t expect them to interpret it this way, though.
“Well, at least it turned out all right.”
In the meantime, I poured hot water over the finely ground beans on top of the drip filter.
A rich, soothing coffee aroma soon filled the café.
“Ah... This is cozy.”
“See? It’s easy.”
I was teaching Penny how to make coffee.
We needed employees to run the shop.
The Dryer couldn’t do it because his face was too recognizable, and Penny had eagerly volunteered.
“Yeah, I’ll work hard.”
I patted Penny’s head repeatedly and was about to wrap up the coffee lesson.
“Shall we open for a little while today as a trial?”
Naturally, I had no intention of devoting my time to running a café.
I was the Head Mod, who had to devote myself to the weighty duty of managing the Gallery.
I opened the door, planning to stay open for only about an hour.
-Ding
And right on cue, a customer came in.
“W-Welcome to the Coffee Minor Gallery.”
Penny dutifully greeted them just as she had practiced beforehand.
The café’s name was Coffee Minor Gallery.
It was just as I was smiling because Penny’s slight stammer was cute.
-Clang!
Suddenly, I heard something fall at the entrance.
When I turned my head at the noise, there was a customer with a familiar face standing at the entrance.
“Customer?”
A red-haired woman stared at me with shocked eyes.
Yongyong Must Be Dying was standing there as the first customer.