Chapter 23
Spiritus was the final stage of alcohol fit for consumption.
Of course, it wasn't meant to be drunk straight; it was more accurate to think of it as an ingredient.
‘Even in my previous life, most people only drank a few sips as a challenge.’
No one drinks this because they actually want to.
Right, no one does.
Featured Post) I Am Head Mod
I am a drinker.
I am one who loves liquor.
Head Mod is my brother, but he's just like me.
‘I’ am ‘Head Mod.’
Upvotes323 Downvotes102
- Gaaak, this post smells like alcohol
- Did you drink that Spiritus thing or whatever?
- Head Mod is me too
ㄴ Author) You are me, and I am you.
ㄴ Head Mod is a dwarf
ㄴ What kind of conversation is this?
ㄴ Old men, get a grip;
ㄴ They all lost their minds together
Featured Post) How to Drink Spiritus
Author) Dwarf Gourmet
Drink Spiritus straight from the bottle.
And then drink it.
As you do, there will be a point when your insides gradually start feeling hotter.
If you don't feel it, drink the next bottle too.
When you feel it, stop and neutralize your insides with infused liquor.
To finish, eat a piece of fruit and go to sleep, and you can guarantee yourself the best sleep ever!
Upvotes352 Downvotes150
- Ooh! What a superb method!
ㄴ Is the author a dwarf sage?
ㄴ This is truly revolutionary! What an incredible taste!!
ㄴ My insomnia vanished like magic. There is no better sleeping pill in this world!
- Cemetery speedrun, damn;
ㄴ Fuck, this seems like the fastest way to die in the world
- Fuck, why are you using infused liquor as a hangover cure?
ㄴ Isn't infused liquor about 30% alcohol too?
ㄴ Do these bastards have four livers or something?
ㄴ Do you need detoxification when drinking water?
ㄴ ?
ㄴ ??
ㄴ Unclench those claws before you get angry
ㄴ !
ㄴ !!
- Ah, fuck!!!!!
ㄴ Put “Dwarves Only” in the title!!!!!
ㄴ Idiot LOL
ㄴ I can tell why without even asking LOL
ㄴ They actually followed this LOL
ㄴ Is this actually true?
Dwarves were different.
Dwarves were a race crazed for alcohol.
- Spiritus, this is my soul
- This sensation of my insides burning is pure ecstasy
- Chugging a glass and lying down in bed—that is my natural sleeping pill
As 건전조신 said, 96% ABV Spiritus became the dwarves' sleeping pill.
Title: ㅇ u ㅇ
Author: 건전조신
Actually, I was very hungry.
Alcohol alone couldn't serve as a staple food.
So I was wondering if I should upload memes like in the old days...
(A Spiritus chugging meme)
Spiritus, the pinnacle of desire!
This could truly become the ultimate staple food!
> u <
I love you, Head Mod!
- Head Mod☆) You tricked me!!!
- Head Mod☆) You said you were grateful! You said you loved me!
ㄴ 건전조신) ^^;
And incidentally, it became the dryer's staple food too.
Anyway, dwarves hadn't originally been this obsessed with alcohol content.
Rather, they valued the taste and color of liquor, and were literally repulsed if all it had going for it was a high ABV.
“You can tell just by digging up posts from a few years ago.”
Before the gallery had the modifier “Destruction” attached to its name.
Six years ago) Alcohol isn't alcohol just because its ABV is high.
(A meme of liquor bottles with different ABVs piled like a mountain in a storage room)
Humans think that if the ABV is high, it's automatically good, with their shallow knowledge.
That's not how it should be.
It's the taste and aroma of liquor that matter.
Pride in alcohol is meaningless.
- For once, a dwarf is saying something sensible?
- For real, I don't understand people who blindly like something just because its ABV is high;
ㄴ Agreed, at 30% it's disinfectant, not liquor;
ㄴ Author) Can't you even drink 30 percent?
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Author) You lightweight
ㄴ ??
But the Great War changed the dwarves.
Their intense longing for alcohol remained like a kind of deprivation.
Their bodies ended up finding greater satisfaction the higher the ABV.
The problem was the other races who tried it out of curiosity.
Title: Gaaaaah!!!
(A meme of someone lightly touching their tongue to Spiritus)
(A meme of someone suffering internal injuries, collapsed and rolling on the floor)
You said absolutely not to drink it!
You said other races absolutely shouldn't buy it and drink it!!!
- LOL, lightweight
ㄴ Author) Get lost, alcohol poser;
ㄴ I tried it, and nothing happened.
ㄴ Author) ?? How did you do that?
ㄴ LOL, I can't taste anything at all on my tongue? The only thing is that I can't see very well ahead of me? LOL
ㄴ Author) Ah, so your sense of taste was broken, huh
ㄴ It doesn't seem like only your sense of taste is broken
Title: Eugh, hack, heeuk, elheuk
Author: Full-HP Elf★
(A meme of someone covered in tears and snot)
(A “Not human” elf meme)
This isn't li-liquor.
Th-this isn't dew...
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it huuurts
- LOL, I'll ruin your taste buds~
ㄴ LOL, after pretending you were good at drinking
ㄴ For real LOL, got caught red-handed, huh?
ㄴ But isn't that seriously not liquor?
ㄴ Who drinks that as liquor?
- Hmm... kinda...
ㄴ ?
Victim posts poured in, looking as though we were watching the scene of an incident.
It was common for people to pass out while writing review posts; some posts were downright insane, with users drinking it like water after destroying their sense of taste.
But eventually, the people who adapted fastest to change found an answer.
Title: LOL, oh, so there was a proper way to use it
Author: Adrian the Torturer
(A meme of someone being forced to drink Spiritus)
(A meme of a traitor confessing through tears)
This is how you're supposed to use it, right? Yeah.
- Gaaah
ㄴ No blood or tears, huh
ㄴ Wow, I feel like I'm gonna fucking throw up just looking at it
- Eeeeeelf!!!
ㄴ Those brutal humans are scary!!
ㄴ Do you people have even a little mercy?
- Dwaaaagh!!!
ㄴ Are dwarves scared of torture too?
ㄴ That precious Spiritus!!!
ㄴ You stupid, pathetic humans!!! Pour it into my mouth right now!!!!!
ㄴ ???
Title: Spiritus Is a Truly Famous Weapon
(A meme of someone setting Spiritus on fire and throwing it)
(A meme of magical beasts suffering from Spiritus's smell and not even coming near inhabited areas)
Seems like a hard counter to magical beasts.
I sprinkled it around my fields, and not only wild animals but magical beasts too are terrified and won't come near LOL
But it does have a downside.
- Oh
- So this was the answer
- It has nothing but advantages, so what the hell is the downside?
ㄴ Human!!!!! How dare you waste the water of souls!!!!!
ㄴ Ah, so this is the downside LOL
ㄴ Downside: It makes an enemy of the dwarves
ㄴ Already got as far as their souls? LOL
ㄴ Ah LOL, it's Spirit-us LOL
“Well, as long as everyone is finding a use for it in their own way.”
While the gallery went insane, I also browsed the recommended posts pouring in nonstop.
- So, did Head Mod drink this?
ㄴ Of course you tried it, didn't you? You're selling it, after all.
ㄴ Head Mod☆: Why would I drink this? lol
ㄴ ?
ㄴ This bastard?
Every now and then, I left replies to questions like that while stuffing the accumulating Mana Dumplings into my mouth.
Mana Dumplings, gallery browsing, Mana Dumplings, gallery browsing.
As I continued that repetitive routine, the phrase I'd been waiting for naturally appeared before my eyes.
[The gallery has leveled up!]
[A new feature has been added to Head Mod's Marketplace!]
It was a level-up.
*
The first level-up had been really easy.
The problem was what came next.
“When the hell am I going to level up?”
Even after consuming dozens of times that amount to reach the next level, nothing happened.
Just as I was starting to get tired of it, the message appeared.
[Would you like to view Head Mod's Marketplace's new feature?]
What was the point of asking?
“Of course I fucking do!”
[The selling function has been upgraded.]
[Free Exchange—barter trades can now be made without Head Mod's involvement.]
“Oh?”
The new feature was a trading function.
At first, the function had been limited because I had to be involved in one side or the other of every trade, but now it had become unrestricted.
And that wasn't all.
[A 5% fee must be paid for each trade]
[All fees become Head Mod's profit]
All the fees—every last one—would belong to me.
In short, I could now achieve growth at a whole different level from before.
This feature had also completely blocked every possible way I might suffer even the slightest loss.
“Honestly, handling all those barter trades alone was getting difficult.”
The barter trades that absolutely required my presence had long since surpassed 99,999+ requests.
In practice, I only checked in occasionally to see what items were available, so this worked out well.
[Would you like to activate the new feature?]
At that obvious question, I immediately pressed the Yes button.
Surely, a notification announcing the opening of the new feature, accompanied by a great deal of excitement...!
[Head Mod's Marketplace has been upgraded.]
[Free trading is now available.]
[Marketplace remodeling... 7 days 00 hours 00 minutes remaining]
...did not appear.
- Head Mod, I heard access to the Marketplace was suddenly blocked?
- What kind of bolt from the blue is this!!!!!
- I-I can't breathe, wheeze wheeze
- ㅠ ㅅ ㅠ Head Mod oppa?
- Head Mod, you're not abandoning us, right? Right?
- Tell us it's a joke, please!!!!!
- It's the end. The end of the gallery has come!!!
Instead, the gallery began to stir at this sudden bolt from the blue.
*
- Proof that Head Mod abandoned us...jpg
- This all happened because 건전조신 didn't upload a meme
- Head Mod: This filthy gallery... I'm giving up moderating it
- Selling 534 cans of tuna for 534 Mana Dumplings
- Buying five 500ml bottles of bottled water
The gallery became a lawless wasteland.
Posts full of all kinds of agitation and fabrication appeared, along with posts trembling in fear, convinced I'd abandoned the gallery.
Posts selling marketplace items at more than 55 times their original price began appearing as well.
Before the gallery grew even more chaotic, I posted a mediation thread.
Title: It's Me
Author: Head Mod☆
(A meme of a trainer calming monsters)
Okay, calm down, calm down.
This wasn't intentional.
The gallery's functions leveled up, and apparently the Marketplace is being remodeled to apply the upgrade.
It's only a week from this moment, so don't worry.
Upvotes999+ Downvotes999+
- How the fuck are we supposed to last a week, you lunatic!!!!
ㄴ Calm down? Calm down? Calm... calm, calm?
ㄴ His brain's already broken LOL
- I should've bought some in advance; I just have no luck
ㄴ (A frog meme with a noose around its neck)
ㄴ (A cat meme shouting, “This is good~”)
ㄴ Yeah~ I bought 100 packs of Buldak ramen ages ago~
ㄴ Yeah~ I'm fucking jealous, you son of a bitch~
ㄴ Yeah~ Fuck, I'm so jealous~
- But how are we supposed to believe you?
ㄴ For all we know, you stopped it on purpose to test us
ㄴ For real, prove it
ㄴ Head Mod☆: Why should I?
ㄴ ???
ㄴ Head Mod☆: It's my function, so it's my choice
ㄴ Head Mod☆: Or do you want me to shut down the whole gallery for real?
ㄴ We're sorryWe're sorryWe're sorryWe're sorry
ㄴ Please, not the chickenPlease, not the chickenPlease, not the chicken
ㄴ Head Mod-kkiyat-hoo~! Head~ Mod~ kkiyat~hoo~! Head Mod-kkiyat-hoo-rulei~!
“I thought it would happen with a little flourish like before.”
I didn't know it would be suspended for this long either.
It didn't matter to me since I could still use the shop, of course, but the gallery was pure chaos.
And this atmosphere only grew worse with each passing day.
Title: Just Wait One Day and the Marketplace Will Be Back!
(A meme of a ceramic pot with its head already smashed)
Because from now on, every time the wait goes over 24 hours,
I'll smack my head so damn hard that I'll turn everything inside it into a jumbled-up mess!
If you don't remember waiting,
doesn't that mean you didn't wait?
So if I erase my memory before a day passes until the Marketplace comes back,
won't the Marketplace come back in one day???
The Marketplace will come back after waiting just one night!
Just thinking about it is so exci... exci... eugh, ughkhek...
- What the hell is wrong with this guy
ㄴ His head's already smashed in, though?
ㄴ Guess he kept hitting the broken part
ㄴ (A meme of a head smashed to pieces)
ㄴ In-hahahahaha
A week that seemed like it would never end.
But time passed all the same.
On the day the gallery users had smashed their heads seven times, the awaited Marketplace opened.
The dwarf smiths were the first to claim a listing.
[Item for sale: Weapon Enhancement]
I am a dwarf weaponsmith.
Entrust your weapon to me, and I'll help enhance it as much as you want!
Caution* The weapon may be destroyed
But no one knew.
That this would make the gallery even more chaotic than before.