Chapter 24
[Item for sale: Weapon Enhancement]
ㄴ What's this?
ㄴ Isn't this just saying they'll refine them?
ㄴ Well, it looks fun, so I guess I should give it a try~?
ㄴ Can you enhance the switch I was beaten with as a child, too?
ㄴ Author) Apparently. Anything works as long as it has a function as a weapon.
The dwarves had brought out an interesting item for sale.
It was, in a way, selling their own skills.
You handed over your weapon first, paid the fee, and they would enhance it.
Title: Information Regarding Weapon Enhancement
Enhancement is a new dwarven technique.
It's not merely sharpening and repairing a weapon; you can think of it as raising the weapon's grade altogether.
For weapon enhancement, the current maximum is seven times for weapons that have never been enhanced.
In simple terms, that meant enhancement went up to +7.
But there was one problem: the price.
Author) It starts at 300 Mana Dumplings.
It was a little—no, a lot—expensive.
Three hundred Mana Dumplings was enough money to flex a little in the Marketplace.
That was a whopping 300,000 won by Earth's standards.
- Ah, but the price is a little...
- If it rusts, it actually gets bonus poison damage, so that's good, yeah...
- A sword is for using as a sword, and when it rusts, you use it as a club, that's how it is, man!
Author) First customer gets a free enhancement.
ㄴ Me!
ㄴ Me me me me!
ㄴ Sir, I've long believed that dwarven craftsmanship was the finest in the world, and based on that, I...
But free was a different story, lol.
- The dwarves starved a lot during the Great War, too.
- It can't be helped.
- Otherwise, they wouldn't have come forward to sell weapons, yeah.
They had decided to compromise a little with reality.
After drawing the gallery users' attention, they accepted one user's weapon.
- This is the iron sword I've used ever since I became a knight.
ㄴ I had it put away because I didn't have time to get it repaired after the war. Can you enhance something like this, too?
ㄴ Author) Of course. There is no such thing as impossible.
And about ten minutes later.
Author) It's done. Take it.
[The trade has been completed.]
[Rusty Iron Sword → Successfully enhanced to Iron Sword +1!]
Buyer) Ooh?
The result was returned to the gallery user who had entrusted them with his weapon.
*
Title: Review of Dwarf Weapon Enhancement
I fucking love that I won the event.
I figured there was nothing to lose by entrusting it to them, but what the hell is this?
(A picture of the rusty iron sword)
(A picture of the iron sword with a razor-sharp edge after enhancement)
At first, I thought I'd sent them a different weapon.
But the moment I saw my name clumsily carved into the scabbard, I realized, oh, this really was the iron sword I knew.
But it wasn't just the appearance. The actual review after using it was fucking incredible.
(A gif of a goblin turning into a dead goblin)
What the fuck is this?
Did all those tough goblin bastards eat the Chop-Chop Fruit or something? They go down so damn easily;
I even immediately tried fighting orcs, something I'd debated attempting my whole life.
(A gif of an orc being split cleanly in two)
Orcs? Fuck off and don't get cocky.
This is seriously the first refinement like this I've ever seen.
Don't get fleeced by your local blacksmith for no reason. Entrust your enhancement to a dwarf, seriously.
Entrust it to them twice. No, three times.
.
.
Even thinking about it again, I'm fucking grateful.
I'm so grateful it's actually making me angry;
I want to hug the dwarves and Head Mod tight. I fucking love you, seriously.
Dwarves hurt because of their beards, so just kiss Head Mod instead lolololol.
- Head Mod☆) No no no no;
ㄴ Dwarf Weapon Master) No no no;
ㄴ They both fucking hate it, lol.
ㄴ Line up. We were here first, meow.
- Wow, no, the weapon has completely changed.
- I'd believe it even if you said you'd put in a new weapon;;
- Falling out with the dwarves would hurt quite a bit.
- Heh heh, dwarf-made weapons look crappy at a glance anyway, so why waste money on them? Lol
ㄴ For real, lol. Head Mod's lost his touch~ Instead of opening stuff like this, reduce the Marketplace cooldown.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Hmm, their chat seems kind of strange.
ㄴ Try saying “World Tree bastard.”
ㄴ .
ㄴ Can't? Then try “Ellad bastard,” too.
ㄴ ...bastard
ㄴ Lol, you can't, can you, elf simps? You're just sulking because you can't buy weapons like that since the dwarves won't sell them to you, right? Lol
ㄴ You human-dwarf bastards, what did we ever do to deserve this? You won't sell us weapons or armor, you never help us even when things are difficult, and during the Great War you ignored our circumstances and attacked us anyway. Then, after losing, you blame the elves again.
ㄴ Wow, that hit the mark.
ㄴ The elf simps have been utterly annihilated, lolololololololol.
“That's right. They can't buy dwarf weapons, can they?”
The elves had excellent combat instincts.
They were flexible, and the decisions they made in each moment were nearly optimal.
But their gear sucked.
They had no refinement techniques whatsoever.
And did the dwarves sell weapons to them? No, they didn't even do that.
“One of the races that attacked the elves during the Great War was the dwarves. That says it all.”
The elves were the only race that had accumulated more karma than humans during the Great War.
Even after the gallery became active, was their inability to benefit from things like this simply karma?
- Head Mod, brother, let me handle your weapon.
- No, entrust it to me. I'll turn it into something spectacular!
- I'm a third-generation weaponsmith. Naturally, it would be right to entrust it to me.
In contrast, I received countless enhancement requests.
Perhaps it was because the dwarves had been, and still were, the only major source of liquor.
“Isn't that also why they nearly lost the Kingdom of Kilgrot? Because they were busy making alcohol?”
The dwarves' kingdom had been invaded by magical beasts during the Great War.
Even then, they refused to give up on their breweries until the bitter end and kept them running. That says it all.
I had only distributed some alcohol, but it seemed the recipients saw it differently.
- Head Mod☆: It's fine. I don't use weapons anyway.
But regardless of that, I had no interest in weapon enhancement.
I had no use for weapons to begin with, and no intention of using them.
So I refused, but the calculating dwarves absolutely refused to let it go.
If you received something, you had to repay it.
No one tolerated anyone breaking that rule.
Not even me, the person involved, was an exception.
- Head Mod, who are you to interfere with my repayment?
- How dare you? Hand over your weapon at once.
- Do you take me for a fool?
- Can you handle my excrement?
ㄴ Fuck, why would Head Mod have to handle that?
“No, I don't need it since I use a gun anyway.”
If I didn't give them something, they looked ready to turn the gallery upside down.
I searched the storage room for anything I could give them, and only realized it belatedly.
“Oh, right. I do have a weapon.”
Vwoom.
The lamp I'd forgotten because I only used it for lighting—no.
It was the old holy sword, Adrian's legendary sword.
“This should do, right?”
I was just about to pick up the holy sword to send it to them.
Creak.
“What?”
It won't move.
It felt absurdly heavy, as though it were bracing itself against my strength.
“Nngh...”
I strained until my face turned red, but the holy sword didn't budge, as if my efforts were laughable.
Vwoom—puhahaha.
“Why does this feel so damn unpleasant? Can this thing talk?”
Once I realized it was absolutely impossible to move it by force, I decided to try another method.
“Scared?”
Vwoom.
The holy sword became light again.
I sent the holy sword to the dwarf and heard the dwarf boast confidently.
- I'll make this sword shine far brighter!
And exactly one hour later.
- (A picture of the dwarven forge's destroyed enhancement tools)
- (A picture of the holy sword standing proudly at the center of it all)
- Take... it back...
- Head Mod☆: Uh;
Every tool in the dwarven forge used for weapon enhancement had been completely destroyed.
Vwoom.
The holy sword returned proudly without a single scratch.
I had unintentionally become responsible for completely wrecking someone else's shop.
When I looked sourly at the holy sword as it resumed its duty of lighting the storage room, I somehow felt that it was brimming with confidence.
*
“All right, cheers!”
““Cheers!””
Clink. A party was being held at the forge in the Dwarf Kingdom.
They had made an enormous profit.
“Whew! This is the life!”
“I never thought I'd handle this much money in my lifetime...”
“Is Head Mod a god?”
The dwarves' refinement skills were the finest in the world!
But their poor accessibility to the Dwarf Kingdom and their personalities had kept them from making much profit.
To make matters worse, after the Great War completely cut off the overland routes, there had been no profit to speak of.
But that was no longer the case.
The gallery had taken care of all the connections for them.
“And he only takes a five-percent fee!”
“He even provided us with all kinds of liquor...”
More precisely, it was thanks to Head Mod, who managed the gallery.
He was the best partner and benefactor they could have, working with them on everything from liquor to business.
Head Mod had put down extremely deep roots in the lives of the dwarves.
“Shouldn't we give Head Mod some important position in Kilgrot?”
“I think the important post of chief liquor officer would be suitable.”
“How about elevating Head Mod to one of the Dwarves' Three Great Saints?”
Once the alcohol started flowing, there was nothing they wouldn't say.
All sorts of inner thoughts they would normally be too embarrassed to voice came spilling out.
“I'd be fine even if Head Mod really were the beautiful half-elf girl archmage from the rumors!”
Though their face would probably be pretty ugly!
And, of all things, a half-elf!
Still, weren't their achievements truly great?
“Hahahaha!”
For the moment, none of that mattered.
The dwarves held a large party for the first time in ages, putting their arms around one another's shoulders and enjoying a drinking party.
It was then that an unfamiliar enhancement request came in.
“A new enhancement request has arrived!”
“Oh, the weapon looks pretty good.”
“Even so, it's just a shabby human-made weapon.”
But the reason the dwarves took such an interest was its value.
The client had offered a whopping one million Mana Dumplings as the commission fee!
That was enough money to buy nearly every alcoholic drink listed on Head Mod's Marketplace!
“Who will do it?”
“I will.”
Normally, such an enormous sum would have made them suspicious of the client's identity, but with alcohol in their system, things were different.
One of the dwarves boldly stepped forward, accepted the weapon, and immediately fired up the forge.
“Hahaha, this is nothing!”
The dwarf laughed heartily and began hammering.
Crash! Clang!!!
With a single blow, the sword they had been entrusted with shattered into pieces.
“...”
“Hmm...”
“Uh.”
The atmosphere instantly turned ice-cold.
But only for a moment. The dwarf tossed aside the hammer, laughed, and began drinking beer.
“Well, that's unfortunate!”
“That's how it turned out, hahaha!”
Hadn't they explicitly stated it?
Caution* The weapon may be destroyed.
The dwarves, thinking nothing of it, returned the shattered weapon to the client.
“Y-your Grace, we have a major problem!”
“What is it? What happened to make you so frantic?”
“The sword, the ducal family's heirloom! It came back shattered!”
“W-what!!!”
The client who had entrusted them with the weapon was none other than Duke Isaac of the Adrian Empire.
The duke rose from his seat with his face flushed bright red.
What sword had he entrusted to them?
It was the family heirloom once wielded by the first duke.
That great sword had been shattered like pieces of a mirror?
“Y-your Grace?”
Duke Isaac merely trembled in silence. Only after a long while did he whisper.
“...War.”
“Pardon? What kind of...”
“War! I shall declare war on the dwarves!!!”
“N-no, you can't! Please calm down!”
A war with the dwarves? There was no bigger headache than that.
The man hurriedly restrained him and said,
“It must be a misunderstanding! I-I'll ask the gallery for an explanation!”
Thinking there had to be some misunderstanding, the duke's subordinate hurriedly posted a message.
Otherwise, the duke really looked ready to start a war.
Title: I Have a Question for the Dwarves
(A picture of the shattered ducal family's heirloom)
Why did you return it in this state after I entrusted it to you?
You'd better tell me straight.
‘Please, please, please, please, say you made a mistake...’
The man asked why while sweating coldly.
ㄴ Lol, did someone hold a knife to your throat?
ㄴ Hahahaha, indeed. Hahahaha.
“War. It is war, indeed.”
In the end, things blew up.