Chapter 25
There were three types of people in the gallery.
Trolls, lurkers, and morons.
Title: You Filthy Ground-Dwelling Bastards
Author: Duke Isaac
How dare they post the warning in such tiny letters.
Their intentions were highly suspect.
On top of that, they dared to drink while coming to have their weapons enhanced, which was tantamount to mocking me.
Title: My Apologies. I Shall Offer an Apology
Author: Dwarf Blacksmith
Anyone who came in expecting a genuine apology, smash that upvote lol
(A meme of the shattered heirloom sword)
(A meme of dwarves partying while drinking)
Not sorry lol
First, two morons set the stage.
Then the lurkers and bystanders naturally swarm in, and upvotes start pouring in.
Featured Post) Declaring War on the Dwarves
Featured Post) We Don't Shy Away from a Fight
Then, finally, the trolls appear.
- The Reason Dwarves Are Stupid Morons...jpg
- Dwarves) Humans Are No Different from Monkeys
- EU—The Reason We Absolutely Have to Go to War
- Humans ← These Bastards Are Always the Problem lol
They subtly needle the other side while pretending to be dwarves or humans, steadily escalating the scale of the fight.
By then, the whole thing had grown beyond control in just a few hours.
- Ah, what is this? I drew the lewd pic that was requested
ㄴ Post it
ㄴ Ah lol, we have to fight after seeing this
ㄴ Can't resist a lewd pic of the beautiful Head Mod
ㄴ There's no such thing as too early for a pic drop, so just post it and get your upvotes lol
ㄴ (An elf teary-eyed thumbs-up emoticon)
Of course, the flame war occasionally paused when lewd pictures and beastfolk selfies popped up in the meantime.
“At this rate, this is never going to end.”
The gallery was on the verge of turning into a complete mess.
Posts about the fight began appearing in every category—General, Free Discussion, Featured Posts, Questions and Help, and all the rest.
But I didn't particularly intend to stop them.
Instead, I created a new category along with a notice.
Title: grow
Author: Head Mod☆
Hi.
I've created a new category.
If you're going to fight, go to the Fight/IRL Fight category ㄱㄱㄱ
- This is ridiculous lol
- You should be stopping them, you fucking bastard lololol
- Head Mod is egging them on instead of mediating lol
- But shouldn't someone seriously stop this?
ㄴ Get out.
ㄴ Seriously, why stop them?
ㄴ In a world destroyed, they're volunteering to give us endorphins lol
ㄴ ?
ㄴ You dopamine-addled idiot
- But what's this “grow” thing?
ㄴ Looks like some ancient script lol
ㄴ I'm a historian, and the guy above is right
ㄴ But why “grow”?
ㄴ As expected, the idiot moron is orange.
ㄴ Orange's foreign-language skills are truly dogshit
ㄴ Orange, I'm embarrassed for you.
Fight/IRL Fight) Enlist immediately, right now
Author: Isaac
(A declaration of war bearing the emperor's signature)
(A poster of a knight pointing straight ahead)
The Imperial Army needs you!
Become a soldier now and fight an honorable battle!
* Procure your own equipment before joining the fight
* Rations may contain sand
- Are they seriously trying to go to war?
ㄴ The ducal family's heirloom sword carries quite a bit of significance.
ㄴ Fuck, how did he get permission?
ㄴ The duke's always been damn close to the emperor.
ㄴ Not kidding, he seems to have gotten really pissed after his weapon broke.
- Can I apply too?
ㄴ Isaac) Of course, you're welcome. Where do you reside?
ㄴ The Antares Mountains.
ㄴ Isaac) ? How do you live there?
ㄴ Lol, wouldn't he live there since he's a dwarf?
ㄴ Lol, stupid duke bastard
ㄴ Isaac) You bastard!!! How dare you mock me!
The atmosphere began to heat up more and more.
Of course, I didn't mind.
Lately, lying in bed all day had been unbearably boring.
When I was in need of some new stimulation, I always welcomed bait like this.
Fight/IRL Fight) Ready to Deploy
Author: Isaac
(A meme of a massive human army)
Dwarven bastards, keep your tails between your legs and hide in your kingdom like that.
I'll come find you myself.
Fight/IRL Fight) Ho ho
(A meme of a dwarf army fully equipped in steel armor)
What do you think you're going to do with equipment like that?
Just wait. I'll crush you flat.
And the result of standing by was always the same.
The two fully armed armies were actually preparing to march out.
*
“How's the equipment?”
“Perfect. We recently replaced it all with new equipment, so we absolutely won't be defeated.”
“Ho ho, good.”
Dwarf King Taldain stood at the head of the army with a satisfied smile.
Though few in number, each and every dwarf was a weapon of war.
As the leader of the Steel Legion, he knew no fear.
“I've always wanted to have a fight like this.”
In fact, Taldain didn't harbor much ill will toward humans.
Most of those gathered here felt the same way.
They simply wanted to let their boiling blood run free, as was characteristic of dwarves.
The recent reclamation campaign had ended, and the only battles they had left were the occasional magical beasts that attacked them.
Their bodies had been itching for a proper fight against people instead of magical beasts, so this worked out perfectly.
“To uphold the honor of the dwarves, I shall fight with my head held high.”
“I shall follow as well!”
“For the dwarves!”
Thunderous cheers rang out across the square.
In truth, they just wanted to fight.
“Now, let us march!”
Taldain shouted boldly.
The Steel Army had finished preparing and was just about to follow him when—
“Oh, right. You brought booze, of course?”
“Of course. Hundreds of bottles are listed on the Marketplace every day, so we can use those to meet our needs.”
Alcohol was necessary even for war.
And since the dwarves had no brewery at the moment, they had no choice but to rely entirely on Head Mod's Marketplace.
“Hahaha, good, good! Let us depart at once!”
It was just as he pounded his armor energetically a few times and was about to set out.
[The Marketplace function within the gallery will be deactivated.]
[Reason – Concern over procuring military supplies]
Title: Notice for the Fight/IRL Fight Category
Author: Head Mod☆
As long as the gallery's race-bashing period is underway, the Marketplace will be closed due to concerns over funding a war.
“What.”
Taldain's expression hardened in an instant.
Clang, clunk.
Taldain turned around at the sudden sound.
There, he saw a dwarf slump to the ground with all his motivation gone and hollow eyes.
“...There's no booze?”
“...No, this can't be. Anything but that!”
“Brother, why!!!”
And things in the Empire were not much different.
“T-the Marketplace is closed!”
“What!”
They had been trying to buy canned tuna with an absurdly long shelf life to prepare for a lengthy campaign.
But then the Marketplace suddenly closed, leaving them unable to purchase a single item.
Duke Isaac was momentarily flustered, but decided to use this as an opportunity.
“No, this is for the best.”
“Pardon?”
“The Marketplace being closed means the dwarves can't procure liquor either! We will win this fight!”
Humans loved alcohol too, but if they couldn't drink, they didn't lose all motivation and turn into total wrecks.
It was the moment Duke Isaac stepped into the square to give a speech and sensed victory.
“Ah, what the hell? They say the Marketplace is closed?”
“Fuck, apparently our food's being changed from canned tuna to moldy bread.”
“Ah... The Adrian Empire's treatment of its soldiers really hasn't changed, huh?”
The mood among the soldiers was strange.
Restless and disunited.
“Soldiers of Adrian, pay attention!”
The duke was flustered, but once again raised his voice to draw their attention.
But the soldiers merely lifted their heads slightly before fixing their gazes back on the gallery window.
Their reaction was like that of people listening to a sermon they didn't want to hear.
At the same time, anonymous posts began pouring into the gallery.
- Ah lol, are these old farts afflicted with a disease that kills them if they can't go to war?
- Fuck, I need to drink cola
- The Marketplace is closed, you dumbasses!!!!!
- Give me canned tuna Give me my canned tuna Give me canned tuna
- Anyone here know how to use a bow?
“Y-you...!”
Duke Isaac had no idea.
Ever since Head Mod had appeared and started handing out all kinds of modern goods.
And the more they listened to Head Mod, the more completely the younger generation's way of thinking changed.
- Head Mod says status differences don't matter?
- Ah lol, what, does being His Majesty come with an absolutely invincible skill or something lol
- Is war really that important right now!!!!
- When are you handing out Honey Butter Chicken!!!!!
- Head Mod, please open the Marketplace!!!!!
Most of the younger generation had become thoroughly corrupted by Head Mod and the culture Head Mod spread.
Unlike the older generation, who fought whenever they were told to, a question had begun to accompany everything: Why?
“Can't you shut down the gallery this instant!”
At the duke's shout, the titles of the new posts springing up everywhere said it all.
- Can't,, you,, turn off,, the gallery,, right now...@!!!
ㄴ Lololol, fuck
ㄴ Lololololol
- When conscripting us by force, we're sons of the Empire; when we go out and get hurt, aren't we your sons?
ㄴ My father lost an arm too.
ㄴ I don't even have one toe, and they dragged me here.
ㄴ Give my brother back, you fucking bastards.
ㄴ Why be loyal?
ㄴ Seriously, why should I care?
- If you're a human bro who'd pledge loyalty to Head Mod rather than the Adrian Empire, smash that upvote lol
ㄴ Upvoted.
ㄴ Starting with me lol
ㄴ Seriously, I'd even give one arm for him.
ㄴ My whole family survived thanks to Head Mod.
After the Great War, the imperial family's absolute power was no longer what it had been.
The incompetence they had displayed during the Great War had been substantial.
As many had been killed by magical beasts, just as many had died because of inadequate medical facilities, faulty battle command, and poor war preparations.
A world had arrived in which a single reply from Head Mod was more precious and honorable than the imperial crest.
- Ah lol, I really feel like rebelling
- Would it be okay if Head Mod became emperor instead?
The Adrian Empire was beginning to fracture from its very roots.
*
“The Empire's doom has come.”
On a bleak night as darkness descended,
Frederick spoke in a low voice.
Around him, about half the nobles had gathered to listen.
It was not the atmosphere of a normal discussion.
“It is neither the Great War nor famine.”
“You mean...”
“The doom came in human form. Head Mod—that man is the Empire's doom.”
Frederick and the noble houses close to the imperial family.
Their positions were wavering.
Whether Head Mod intended it or not was irrelevant.
The problem was that Head Mod's thoughts and the goods Head Mod distributed were making the people of the Empire harbor subversive ideas.
“We must kill Head Mod.”
“Indeed. He is a threat to the Empire!”
“But how could we kill him?”
At some point, Head Mod had gained the ability to conceal his whereabouts.
Their earlier attempt had failed, and at this rate, it seemed they would have to sit back and watch the Empire—or rather, their own—destruction.
But then Duke Isaac slowly rose.
“We can kill him.”
“What? How?”
“We've found his trail.”
The duke, known since his youth as a genius with the sword, placed his hand on the scabbard and said.