Chapter 47
Elves have superior physical attributes.
Strength and speed that couldn't possibly come from such delicate bodies, along with beautiful looks that never faded.
Especially Armion, who had been the queen of the elves—there was no need to say anything more.
“Kahaha!”
Tat-tat-tat-tat.
Armion fired at the red-hot monsters while holding the heavy machine gun with one hand.
She didn't even need to aim.
There were enough endlessly replenished bullets that she could keep firing without ever running out.
“Your Majesty!”
“I-It’s dangerous!”
The elders came running up from behind and tried to stop her.
They couldn't believe she was going out onto the battlefield to handle an unproven item from Head Mod.
“P-Please calm down!”
If the queen were injured or killed, their heads would roll.
The elders, old enough to be her grandparents, clung stubbornly to her, but Armion didn't budge.
“Let go of me!”
“Your Majesty, please!”
“I said let go!”
“Urgh!”
She briefly stopped pulling the trigger and effortlessly shook off the elders with one hand.
The difference in strength between the elders, who avoided meat, and the young, meat-loving queen was like the difference between heaven and earth.
“Hahaha!”
- Skreeee!
- Grrrk...
The monsters tried desperately to dodge this way and that, but it was all meaningless struggling.
The heavy machine gun's bullets, spewing fire in the darkness, pierced the monsters at a speed the eye couldn't follow.
The earth glowing red in the darkness, and even the strange monster spitting fire from far away...
“T-The monsters are running away!”
They had come from outside, but the monsters fled in panic from a scene even more hellish than the outside world.
Only then did the heavy machine gun stop spewing fire and begin violently venting heat from its body.
“Ahh... So this is what living feels like...”
Armion, sweating from the heat, gazed at the heavy machine gun with a face flushed with pride and a blush.
How could even the way it vented heat look so cool?
“Eliana! Give me more ammunition!”
“Ammunition...? Ah, you mean the grand-magic catalysts?”
“Yes, hurry!”
She wanted to mow down at least a few more before all the monsters escaped.
Armion urged Eliana on, but after several minutes passed without any ammunition arriving, she sharply turned her head.
Eliana then showed her a Gallery post with an apologetic expression.
Full-HP Elf: Head Mod, can you give us more ammo, yeah?
Head Mod*: I'll probably have trouble giving you more after this batch. sry sry
In short, it was a post saying that since the invasion had been repelled, he had no plans to give them any more for the time being.
“...Huh?”
Armion's face, which had been wreathed in a bright smile moments ago, froze solid.
Did that mean she wouldn't be able to use the heavy machine gun anymore?
Would she have to go back to being a boring queen and reading books in the library?
“No!”
“Your Majesty!”
Armion promptly fainted.
*
Fortunately, the crisis that had descended upon Elrad had passed.
The Gallery was once again plastered with all kinds of random posts rather than monster invasions.
I tossed the empty snack bag into the Rift and was just about to browse some new posts.
[Title: Why Am I the Only One Without a Rift?]
(A frog-con sobbing while aiming a bow at the sky)
Everyone else has one Rift at home, but fuck, I'm the only one without one, so I have to dispose of my trash myself.
It's such a pain to go all the way to the Rift in the plaza, and I feel self-conscious too.
Can't someone make a Rift in my house too?
I came across an unexpectedly relatable complaint post.
“Huh, come to think of it, that's true.”
In my case, there was a Rift inside the bunker.
The Rift that had been there since the place was a warehouse remained even after it became a bunker.
And I had deliberately put a bed next to the Rift.
That way, I could eat in bed and toss everything straight into the Rift without having to go far.
Until now, I'd assumed every Gallery user disposed of things that way too.
- I don't have one either, fuck.
- A house with a Rift is blessed, for real.
- Why throw it away? Just live together.
- Let's get those house prices to the moooon!
- Pet lava = a top-tier home feature.
The problem was that some houses didn't have Rifts.
There was one in the plaza, but going all the way there to throw things away was a problem too.
Not only did carrying waste through the streets draw unwanted looks, but spilling it would be an utter catastrophe.
- I just throw it out the window lol
ㄴ For real, this is the right answer.
ㄴ Then what are passersby supposed to do?
ㄴ They should dodge. I'm throwing it out of my own house.
ㄴ ???
So apparently, people usually threw it out the window.
They even had a surprisingly wide variety of methods.
- At my house, the maid carries a bucket of waste out the window every dawn lol
- We throw it out right away whenever it piles up.
- The workers hired by the government will clean it up, I guess~
“Nothing's changed since the Middle Ages.”
Because of problems like this, the Gallery also saw argument posts pop up almost every day.
[Title: Fuck, Tell Me Who's in the Wrong]
(A frog-con with a twisted face giving the middle finger)
An argument broke out, but he kept insisting it wasn't his fault, so I was dumbfounded and left this post here.
My family is big. Really big.
Naturally, we produce a lot of waste and trash, but we collect it in a bucket and throw it all out at once at dawn, right?
‘When people weren't passing by much,’
‘after even shouting to tell them to watch out for shit before throwing it,’
we threw it outside.
But fuck, the guy who got covered in waste suddenly knocked on my door and started cursing me out!
I apologized appropriately, but he kept demanding compensation, which pissed me off so much that I made this post. Fuck.
Whose fault is this?
[!Poll]
1. Fuck, obviously your fault, you idiot /20%
2. Seems like the guy who got hit is at fault for not seeing it, yeah /80%
- Fuck, how is this my fault?
ㄴ OP) Lol, look who showed up—the Filth Guy.
ㄴ Lmaooo, exactly. He should've watched where he was going and dodged.
ㄴ Who says you have to stare at the ground while walking down the street?
ㄴ If someone shouts, at least listen, ahahaha.
- This is seriously filthy. Don't you have a Rift at home?
ㄴ For real, you don't even have a Rift at home? Lmaooo.
ㄴ You can really tell how that household lives lol.
ㄴ OP) Unless you're paying for my Rift house, shut the fuck up.
Apparently, at most, only one in ten households had a Rift.
Because of this, the stench in the cities could no longer be dismissed as something trivial.
- Fuck, this smell is killing me.
- The countryside was better, at least, for real.
- City = sewer.
- City folk really have some iron stomachs...
“What is this smell?”
It affected me too.
I could smell the foul stench of waste slowly seeping into the bunker.
Maybe because I'd bought the bunker so cheaply, but its cheap ventilation system couldn't completely eliminate the smell of medieval sewage.
“I had no idea this was a problem.”
I'd helped when the Kelliarton Kingdom was built as a sort of safe zone.
But I'd never imagined I'd end up suffering because of it like this.
If I'd lived aboveground, the smell wouldn't have been trapped inside, but I began to feel slightly dizzy.
But even if every way out collapses, there's still the sky.
Vwoong.
“Lightbulb!”
The holy sword hanging from the ceiling appeared before me as if it had been waiting for me to call.
The bright light it emitted made it look extremely full of confidence.
“Do you have a solution?”
Vwoong.
The holy sword emitted a glow as if telling me to trust it, then pointed toward the door.
Then it suddenly began pretending to swing its blade through the air.
“Ah, so... we should threaten people into throwing their waste into the Rifts?”
Vwoong.
It nodded as if to say, That's exactly it.
I tied the holy sword even more tightly to its sheath with rope and hung it from the ceiling.
This thing is a holy sword?
“Is there really no solution?”
But just then, the dwarves' masterwork sword, which had been shoved into a corner by the holy sword, approached.
It went into the ventilation passage and began spinning around, and soon a cool breeze started circulating!
“I knew I could count on you!”
It had spent all this time hiding in a corner and watching the holy sword, but at least it knew how to pull its weight.
“Medieval sewage smell? Don't get cocky.”
The masterwork sword is a god, and I am invincible.
But not every house had a masterwork sword.
The Gallery users who had neither a Rift nor a masterwork sword had no choice but to complain.
- Give me a Rift too!!
- Let's get a Rift and raise our house prices...
- For real, I inspect my house every day to see if a Rift has appeared somewhere.
Just as modern people dreamed of winning the lottery, people in the otherworld desperately wished for a Rift to appear in their homes.
But there was a fatal catch.
Even if you beat the one-in-ten odds and a Rift appeared, it wasn't necessarily a blessing.
[Popular Post: Did a Rift Appear!!!!!]
(A picture of a house collapsing with a roar)
(A picture of a Rift proudly appearing in the middle of the ruins)
If you've seen it, get lost.
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes1]
- Lmaoooooooooo
- Fuck lol
- What is this supposed to be lol
- Fuck, this is hilarious first thing in the morning, you bastard lol.
- What happened here?
ㄴ Exactly. Why did they only upload a picture of ruins?
ㄴ OP) A Rift appeared in one of the pillars of my house, so it lost its balance and collapsed. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
ㄴ But aren't dwarves more knowledgeable about construction?
ㄴ For real, it feels like you asked that on purpose.
ㄴ Pffft hahaha.
ㄴ OP) Fuck you.
If it appeared in a corner of the house or in the basement, you could count yourself relatively lucky.
But what if it appeared in one of the building's supporting beams?
Or what if a Rift appeared on top of you while you were sleeping?
[Title: ?????]
(A picture rendered impossible to make out by severe noise)
(A picture filled with nothing but a black screen)
?????
I woke up from sleeping, but where is this?
- Ah...
- This is a bit much...
ㄴ Seems like you're inside a Rift;
ㄴ OP) Fuck, what do I do?
ㄴ 'What do I—x' 'What should I do—o'
Then you just get Backrooms'd.
But even up to that point, I hadn't taken the problem seriously.
“Medieval hygiene is just like that, I guess.”
In a world where people died and monsters attacked all the time, hygiene was a secondary concern.
I was lying in bed as usual, choosing something to order for a meal from the marketplace.
In the end, the problem I'd been ignoring finally blew up.
[Title: Fuck!!! A Monster Appeared!!!]
(A picture of a mass of filthy flesh letting out a horrible scream)
- What is this? It's just a monster.
- I've never seen it before, but it doesn't look very strong.
- Lol, why can I see Head Mod's marketplace items?
ㄴ If you let that hit you, you'll get tetanus lol.
- Is the OP a newbie?
ㄴ For real, you can't even kill that?
ㄴ OP) (A picture with Kelliarton's capital in the background)
ㄴ OP) Fuck, this is the capital.
ㄴ ?????
A monster had finally appeared in the middle of the capital's streets.