Chapter 87
[The product has been safely delivered.]
The trade with the dwarves was finalized.
There was no reason to refuse in the first place.
In an instant, I was able to have a huge quantity of hardtack delivered to my home.
“I wonder if she received it okay?”
Of course, I meant Penny.
Since I'd expanded the bunker's interior, maybe she'd put it away neatly in the storage room on her own.
I also had some snacks delivered along with it.
In the meantime, the dwarves took action with the food they'd received from me.
[Title: Alcohol and Hardtack: Day 1]
(Meme of monsters crawling up the fortress walls)
(Meme of dwarves drinking beer and pouring burning oil down the fortress walls)
As long as there's war, we've nothing to fear.
- The title and content seem a little off.
ㄴ Isn't it usually the other way around?
- (This is strange... knight emote)
- But have the cracks already erupted?
ㄴ For real, they erupted sooner than expected.
ㄴ Author) They say we struck first.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ As expected of dwarves. They actually did what we only imagined.
It was a strategy of striking first, before the monsters could attack.
Usually, people prepared by fortifying themselves as much as possible before a monster invasion.
But the dwarves had simply thrown spears and arrows, provoking the monsters.
Naturally, the galerians' reaction to this wasn't very favorable.
“They're warlike, sure, but isn't this a bit much?”
Monsters were tenacious, and came in many forms.
Unlike people, they didn't stop moving just because they were injured; they charged until the moment they died.
And just as expected, the monsters soon engulfed Kilgrot's walls like a wave.
For a full week, day and night.
- Fuck, shouldn't we send support?
- If the dwarves lose, we're next...
- I don't have much, but should I give them something if they run short on food?
Even a prolonged battle usually had time set aside for rest.
But because the monsters kept crawling up in numbers enough to make them sick of the sight, there wasn't even a momentary respite.
The galerians, too, began to grow anxious at the overwhelming sight.
The dwarves' kingdom was quite literally the eastern front line.
Because if the dwarves fell, humans and elves would naturally be next.
ㄴ Taldru) We're fine, yeah.
ㄴ Do we look like weak, pointy-eared bastards to you?
ㄴ What does food matter? Star candy is what's important.
Yet the dwarves were fine.
No, they were actually finding enjoyment even in the middle of the war.
- Ooh! Did the star-candy hardtack drop!!!
ㄴ (Meme of a dwarf cheering while holding star-candy hardtack)
ㄴ I'm in line.
ㄴ I'll line up too. Give me just one.
ㄴ I'm in line.
ㄴ Elf.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ (I will kill you with my bare hands right here and now. emote)
ㄴ (Flattened elf emote)
The dwarves needed only one thing.
Alcohol.
Add hardtack as a snack to go with it, and there was nothing they couldn't do.
- Sleep can wait until we're dead. Give us alcohol and snacks.
ㄴ For real, alcohol-crazed bastards...
ㄴ Bastards whose bodies are 70% alcohol...
When they got thirsty, they drank alcohol.
When vicious hunger came upon them, they tossed a bag of hardtack, which also made a good drinking snack, into their mouths.
At night, the shifts came out and burned the surface of the walls with oil and fire.
And so a week passed.
[Title: Alcohol and Hardtack: Day 7]
(Meme of monsters attempting to crawl up the fortress walls)
(Meme of dwarves flattening monsters while enjoying beer and hardtack)
As long as there's war
you shall have nothing to fear, ahk!
- Fuck, I can smell alcohol through the post.
- No, how is this working?
- Don't tell me they've been drinking nothing but alcohol for a week?
ㄴ Author) I haven't gotten drunk.
ㄴ Lmaooo, fuck.
ㄴ Fact) They only acted that way because they had no alcohol or food before; dwarves naturally love war.
In the end, the monsters were the first to grow exhausted.
Living creatures collapsed from hunger, pain, and mental stress after only a day and night.
Dwarves were no exception.
But the difference between then and now was the presence or absence of alcohol and food.
“Hahaha! I am the god of hammers!”
“It's been ages since I've gotten properly drunk!”
“Drunk? Who just said they were drunk?”
“Not me.”
Dwarves who had been unable to drink for long stretches because of repairing collapsed walls, working in the mines, and doing grueling labor...
They had now been granted legal drinking. For an entire week, no less.
Besides, the vulnerability of a siege defense was the supply of food, yet alcohol and food were multiplying infinitely inside the fortress.
It was nothing short of the Head Mod's cheat map.
Naturally, the hardtack the dwarves were eating also became the talk of the town.
- Is that the famous hardtack?
- It looks delicious, but it's not for sale in the marketplace.
- Wow, that star candy looks fucking delicious lol.
Other races who noticed hardtack's special qualities wanted to eat it too, but no one could get any.
[Notice: Hardtack Is Not for Sale]
(Meme of a bare-handed person giving a thumbs-up)
Signed an exclusive contract with the big-shot dwarves.
Come back in three years.
[Recommendations3212] [Dislikes5232]
- No!!!!
- Let me try just one, even just one!!!
- Ah lol, what are you gonna do if you block me? What if I go to Kilgrot myself?
ㄴ Brain melted from marketplace gastronomy...
ㄴ (Meme: You have a serious marketplace addiction)
Dwarf = alcohol, hardtack.
Around this time, a strange perception of dwarves was beginning to spread through the Gallery thanks to this siege.
- Armion) Head Mod
ㄴ Head Mod*) Yeah.
ㄴ Armion) Would it be all right if I commissioned one food item just for our elves?
The Elven Queen, Armion, had approached me.
*
Once, the elves had been the center of the world.
Even when humans began to multiply, no one could ignore the elves.
- Lol, this is us elves.
- We used to be the masters of the world, you know?
ㄴ What era are you talking about...?
ㄴ Grandma's at it again. Go eat some porridge.
Of course, that had once been true.
It meant that it wasn't true anymore.
Elves lacked the technology to refine, process, or manufacture things.
It wasn't as if they were good at farming, either.
For all those long years, they had procured goods through plunder from colonies and half-coercive barter.
“Wow, this is kind of a problem.”
Short on food?
Yeah, just plunder some.
Envious of the dwarves' refining technology?
Yeah, just take it from them with a little coercion.
They were, quite literally, nothing more than big-eared Vikings on land.
- We need to develop our own technology, too!
- This method can't keep working forever.
- We need to build up the strength of our own race!
Of course, there were rational elves among them who planned for the future, but...
ㄴ What are you talking about? We can just plunder.
ㄴ You guys are half-elves, right?
ㄴ No wonder I smelled human on you. Let's drive them out^^
A rational elf appeared?
Then just drive them out beyond the shadows.
As a result of indiscriminate plundering and expulsion without distinguishing friend from foe...
The result was the situation they found themselves in now.
[Title: !Emergency! Help, We Need Sugarcane!!]
Author: World's Best Elf
Or processed sugar is fine, too.
Any galerians up for a trade ^^?
[Recommendations0] [Dislikes3]
- Lol.
- Serves you right.
ㄴ Who would trade with pointy-ears? lol
ㄴ World's Best Elf) -_- Dwarves, go away. We don't care about you either.
- Lmaooo, got your comeuppance good, huh?
ㄴ Lol, for real. I might consider it if you grabbed your ears with both hands, looked away in embarrassment, and danced with a little sway lol.
ㄴ Buddy.
No one traded with the elves.
In the end, the elves had reached the point where their important festival, the Elven Festival, was approaching, and they couldn't even procure a single grain of sugar.
- Head Mod*) Wait, you don't have sugarcane?
“Even if things were bad, could it really be that bad?”
I thought it made no sense, but instead of answering, Armion attached two memes.
ㄴ Armion) (Meme of young elves overharvesting)
(Meme of elven elders gazing fondly at fairies greedily tearing into sugarcane)
ㄴ Head Mod*) Ah...
It was thanks to an unholy collaboration spanning all ages.
As a result, the quantity and price of sugarcane in Elad were going completely insane.
But there was no race willing to agree to a trade to import sugar from outside, either.
“But why are you trying to hold the festival? If it's really that difficult, couldn't you just not hold it?”
There was something I found puzzling.
If it's really that difficult, couldn't you just not hold it?
I had thought festivals were optional rather than mandatory.
- Armion) There's a reason the Elven Festival absolutely has to be held once a year...
“Hmm.”
For the elves, however, it wasn't a matter of choice.
All right, I understood why they needed sugar for the festival, but what did they want from me?
- Armion) I saw the hardtack. I heard you'd signed an exclusive contract just for the dwarves.
ㄴ Head Mod*) Yeah, that's right.
ㄴ Armion) Then could you make a dessert just for the elves to use at the Elven Festival?
“Hmm.”
A dessert for use at a festival.
Even though they were far away, one side was in the middle of a war, so I wondered whether I should accept a dessert commission.
But judging by Armion's tone and the titles posted by the Gallery elves...
- Please sell us some sugarcane!!!
- Ah, no, it has to be made by that day, no matter what!
- Eeeek, no, please save us!!
ㄴ Why are the elves collectively acting so scary?
ㄴ No, is someone holding a knife to their throats?
“This seems to be a matter related to their survival, too.”
It didn't seem like the elves were holding the festival and making the dessert because they wanted to.
Somehow, the whole thing felt like they were being forced to do it.
- Head Mod*) Okay, I'll make it for you for now.
ㄴ Armion) Really? Thank you!
ㄴ Armion) (This is what I'm talking about~ Elven Queen emote)
“Well, it's not difficult to make.”
Make it = buy it with a click from the shop.
There were hundreds, even thousands, of types that appeared just by browsing the dessert category in the shop.
More than anything, I recalled Armion's request that it be sweet and delicious.
“Something sweet enough to rot your teeth.”
Something came to mind just then.
A dessert made of sugar, whose appearance alone looked like it would be perfect for rotting teeth.
[Macarons, 8 pieces] - 12p
Macarons.
But before handing them over, I suddenly became curious why they were so desperate for a festival dessert.
Since Armion was the Elven Queen, I figured she'd know, so I asked her.
- Head Mod*) But why are you so desperate for a festival dessert?
“Judging by your posts, it practically sounds like someone is holding a knife to your throats.”
Saying they needed to be saved, saying it absolutely had to be made...
Wondering if the elves were under some kind of threat, I asked, and Armion took a moment before replying.
- Armion) The elves aren't going to eat it.
ㄴ Head Mod*) ? Then who's eating it?
ㄴ Armion) The World Tree will...
“Ah.”
I understood immediately.
*
The Elven Festival, the elves' biggest festival of the year.
It was also called World Tree Day.
It was a festival where all elves drank and celebrated as equals, but the reality was a little different.
-Smack
“Eeeek, h-here it is!”
-Smack, smack
“I-I brought mine too!”
The elves stood lined up before the World Tree, each holding a dessert.
The World Tree's existence was indispensable to the elves' survival.
The World Tree had cared for the elves with benevolence and generosity, but what it received in return was neglected pests and impediments to its survival.
Having realized that peaceful coexistence was impossible, the World Tree's next-best solution was simple.
-Smack!
“Eeeek!”
It was simply a matter of using a little force.
- 137.7.32) (The World Tree isn't putting up with this anymore. emote)
- 137.7.32) (Bring more... No? Bring it all! emote)
ㄴ Eeeek.
Thus, the day of the festival arrived.
Among the desserts being brought forward, the macarons caught the World Tree's attention.
- 137.7.32) ?
At first, it was puzzled by their color and shape, but soon realized that this was the Head Mod's dessert.
The World Tree immediately brought the macarons inside and placed them at the center.
At a glance, they looked sweet and delicious.
If they were really that sweet and delicious, it would be too wasteful to eat them simply with its wooden body.
- 137.7.32) (Meme of the World Tree pondering)
- 137.7.32) (Don't overthink it! World Tree emote)
In the end, the World Tree broke its ancient seal, manifested in its original form, and stood before the macarons.
The World Tree's true form, manifested on the surface for the first time in several centuries.
The World Tree spoke its first words in centuries, in a lofty and dignified tone.
“Looks yummy.”